North (1994)

[Blast Hardcheese 636]

In tribute to Roger Ebert, why not do the film that inspired his most famous review and the title of his book I Hated Hated Hated This Movie?

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5BbiMdwx1zA

 

I couldn't agree more. As a tribute to Roger Ebert, and as an absolutely horrid movie in and of itself, North deserves every bit of scathing critique, biting sarcasm and confused rage June, Jason, Paul and (please, please, please!) guest host Pete Holmes can dish-out on it.

 

Also, having actually watched North when I was a misguided kid, I need closure on this movie (it still haunts me to this day). Avenge me, HDTGM! AVENGE ME!!!

[Merkin Muffley 24]

I was listening to Gilbert Gottfried's latest Amazing Colossal Podcast! and his guest Alan Zweibel talked about a movie he wrote named North.

 

For a cast it has such notables as Elijah Wood, Jason Alexander, Julia Louis-Dreyfus, and Bruce Willis.

 

The Director was Rob Reiner who gave us plenty of incredible films.

 

The best part is Roger Ebert review, which Alan Zweibel still carries in his wallet and read on Gilberts podcast.

 

I hated this movie. Hated hated hated hated hated this movie. Hated it. Hated every simpering stupid vacant audience-insulting moment of it. Hated the sensibility that thought anyone would like it. Hated the implied insult to the audience by its belief that anyone would be entertained by it.

 

I hold it as an item of faith that Rob Reiner is a gifted filmmaker; among his credits are "This Is Spinal Tap," "The Sure Thing," "The Princess Bride," "Stand By Me," "When Harry Met Sally...," and "Misery." I list those titles as an incantation against this one.

 

"North" is a bad film - one of the worst movies ever made. But it is not by a bad filmmaker, and must represent some sort of lapse from which Reiner will recover - possibly sooner than I will.

[HipGuide 196]

There's a thread about this, I think.

[Merkin Muffley 24]

There's a thread about this, I think.

Thanks, I did a search but nothing came up.

[GalenHoward 6]

A thousand times yes! It's the kind of film that gets uncomfortably too adult for children while simultaneously insulting their intelligence (and everyone else's of course). And it's one of the more garish examples of 90s films that brought back the "cast of thousands" trend. Far too much fodder here to overlook.

[AndyTalarzyk 34]

Seriously. This movie has to be done. Roger Ebert said it best.

 

 

Or you can read the review here

 

http://www.rogerebert.com/reviews/north-1994

[Blast Hardcheese 636]

*Bump!*

[joel_rosenbaum 1269]

First off, you guys have to do this movie.

 

Addressing the Ebert review; Reiner didn't bounce back from this. After the American President, every movie Reiner has done since has been a critical and commercial failure. This is the movie that broke the back of one of the best directors of his generation.

 

Lastly, I'd like to see a caption contest to fill in the ellipses in this promotional poster:

 

[Ofcoursemyhorse 1043]

The quote on top of that poster is so amazing.

[mrrichardson 5]

This movie wasn't nearly as bad as Roger Ebert made it out to be. I think his reviews have drastically effected popular opinion when it comes to this film. Ebert may not have enjoyed this movie, but that's okay. He wasn't the target audience. He's an old man. This film was made for kids and as a kid, myself when this movie came out, I quite enjoyed the film and I know that a lot of my friends did so as well.

 

It certainly wasn't the best film ever made, but it's also far from one of the worst... In fact, public opinion is so negative for this film that in a way this movie is underrated... Come at me bro.

[Ofcoursemyhorse 1043]

This is such a bad movie it's hard to even put into words everything wrong this movie does. From the opening which is weird and jarring, to the racist depictions of various races and nationalities. Not too mention the ending which is such a fuck you to the audience.

 

I think the biggest crime is that such a good cast was put together to be in this horrid thing

 

 

[Ofcoursemyhorse 1043]

Had this movie actually ended with the tiny nerd kid trying to have north assassinated I would have loved this movie.

[CarolynCorzine 0]

"North" - The touching story of a boy that decides to travel the world to "audition" new parents of different ethnic stereotypes because his parents are not paying enough attention to him. For some reason someone thought this would be a great kid's movie.

 

Directed by: Rob Reiner

Starring: Elijah Wood, Jason Alexander, Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Jon Lovitz

Cameos by: Bruce Willis, Kathy Bates, Abe Vigoda, Reba McEntire, Dan Aykroyd, John Ritter, AND MORE

 

I happened across this movie on tv one unemployed afternoon and I never looked back.

 

[Let'sAllGoToTheWindow! 75]

I watched this as a kid, remembered quite a bit. Then they roasted Rob Reiner on CC and everybody was talking about how NORTH was the biggest price of shit EVER. I remember thinking, "it can't be that bad", and never thought about it again.

Then a year ago I saw it was on tv, so I watched it.

The rest is just a blur, but based off the police report, this was my reaction after watching NORTH, grown up, after all these years...

 

ME: THIS MOVIE!

*thunder claps outside*

ME: THIS MOVIE!!

*i throw my tv out the window, smashing it to bits raining glass and... rain everywhere*

ME: THIS MOOOVIE!!!

*i rip my clothes off and jump out my one story window*

ME: THIS MOVIE!

*i cover my whole buddy in mud*

ME: THIS FUCKING MOVIE!!!

*i burn my house down*

ME: GIBBERISHNESS MAH MAH AAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!

*i start pooping in the middle of the street*

 

So yeah, it drove me insane. And that's why I think the HDTGM crew should do NORTH, it inducing insanity on its unsuspecting viewer.

[Blast Hardcheese 636]

This movie wasn't nearly as bad as Roger Ebert made it out to be. I think his reviews have drastically effected popular opinion when it comes to this film. Ebert may not have enjoyed this movie, but that's okay. He wasn't the target audience. He's an old man. This film was made for kids and as a kid, myself when this movie came out, I quite enjoyed the film and I know that a lot of my friends did so as well.

 

It certainly wasn't the best film ever made, but it's also far from one of the worst... In fact, public opinion is so negative for this film that in a way this movie is underrated... Come at me bro.

 

Maybe you have a higher tolerance for dreck, mrrichardson. I saw this movie as a kid when it came out on VHS and was simply amazed at it horribleness. I remember this film distinctly as being the first worst movie I'd ever seen up to that point. This mild comedy (and that's being generous, as North's "jokes" are mostly tone-deaf and veer into ugly racist stereotypes) made a young, movie-loving me realize that not all films have the potential to be good. Add to this, that if it weren't for the chutzpah to give voice to those horrible jokes, this movie would be dreadfully - painfully - dull. I don't think this movie is underrated or under-appreciated at all; in the court of cinema-going public opinion, this move is rated as a failure quite perfectly. Even mindless drones who bow to the opinions their mighty and powerful movie reviewing overlords can honestly and freely agree that this movie roundly sucks

 

One last thing: I can usually find one moment - one nugget of cinematic gold - in even the worst of movies ever made. Those moments when one scene, one actor, one line, or one little moment adds a much-needed sparkle to an otherwise turd of a movie. It could be a simple moment, or something tossed-off and random. Every bad movie has at least one redeemable moment. To my mind, North does not. Sorry, bro.

[Let'sAllGoToTheWindow! 75]

Come to think it, yeah, there isn't one redeemable thing about NORTH.

 

But it's a crazy watch now.

[Bob Drillboids 181]

Still can't believe this one hasn't been done yet. And Rob Reiner seems like an incredibly kind person, maybe just maybe he'd be a good sport about this mess and agree to be the guest.

[Podcaster 5]

I am also one of those people who registered only to recommend this awful movie. It's hard to find a better example of '90s schlock "comedy" with weirdly bigoted caricatures, and includes some people who don't usually get racially stereotyped in mainstream American movies - Eskimos and the Amish.

 

My mother had the brilliant idea to have my family watch this movie back when it came out, and I'm not sure in retrospect if this was a "this is a kids' movie, let's watch it" moment, or a "let's show the little fucker how good he has it" moment.

 

Plus it has Bruce Willis in, I believe, an inexplicable pink bunny outfit.

[EddyCacapipi 5]

It seems cruel to make them watch this one. Even as I kid I hated it.

[Ofcoursemyhorse 1043]

Bump for North, I can literally feel the rage that would be boiling through Jason Mantzoukas as he watched this.

[CaptainAmazing 127]

Alright, is there a reason they haven't done this one yet? Maybe one of the stars is really powerful and also really sensitive?

 

If nothing else, it needs to be done for the notoriety of the Ebert review.

 

Also, there's a funny story of the writer of both the screenplay and the book it was based on running into Ebert in the wild that's definitely worth a heartwarming read: https://www.newyorker.com/culture/culture-desk/roger-and-me

[Ofcoursemyhorse 1043]

Hate hate hated that article. Sorry dude, your movie wasn't just bad it was offensive. All the blatant stereotypes aside, the ending of this movie is such a giant fuck you to the audience. If you're going to make me sit through your garbage movie how about at least makes the stakes count.

 

The way he writes that article he never owns the fact that he wrote a fucking terrible script. If you don't have the humility to at least accept that than I don't need to hear your bullshit story about how you totally redeemed yourself.

 

Also I'm unreasonably grumpy this afternoon.

[djkixen 1]

Totally on board. I saw this numerous times on TV, and I still barely remember anything from this mishmash storyline. Rob Reiner is one of my favorite directors. I'm convinced he must've got a robot imposter to direct this for him.

[Ofcoursemyhorse 1043]

HOW THE FUCK HAVE THEY NOT DONE NORTH YET? 

[MichaelKatsimbris 6]

On 4/20/2016 at 8:07 PM, mrrichardson said:

This film was made for kids and as a kid, myself when this movie came out, I quite enjoyed the film and I know that a lot of my friends did so as well.

I have to admit, I enjoyed this movie when I watched it as a kid. In fact, I watched it more than once.

That being said, I certainly don't want to be seen as trying to mount a campaign to save the reputation for this movie. (I won't win, and my rose colored glasses from watching this when I was younger, I'm sure colored my opinion.)