Episode 74 — Halloween III: Season of the Witch

[JulyDiaz 2797]

It’s a HDTGM first as Paul, June, and Jason go guestless this week to tackle the terrifyingly terrible Halloween III: Season of the Witch. They’ll discuss Dr. Sexy Detective sleeping with everyone, the robots full of goo, the evil Irish novelty toy manufacturer’s reason for his big Halloween plan, Marge Guttman’s bedwear, and Stonehenge lasers. The gang also explains how they would turn humans into robots if they were evil masterminds right before getting into another edition of Second Opinions. 8 more days ‘til Halloween!

[RyanCampbell 38]

JUNE WHITE DRESS SHIRTS ARE JASON'S DOMAIN STAY OUT OF HIS TERRITORY

[DeathToMikeyBay 130]

Oh shit. That explains why there was no mini-sode this week.

 

I'd just like to take this chance to air out a horror movie pet peeve.

 

I always thought the whole "horror movies are about punishing sex" trope has less to do with anything in the human psyche, and more to do with everyone not only ripping off Halloween, but not "getting it" in the process. Killing young couples having sex was part of Myers' character, resulting from a child's warped connection to his sister and catching her with another boy. All the knockoffs just figured "sex = death" and mindlessly ran with it.

 

Friday the 13th tried to make some connection with why the killer went after fornicating couples. It was loose, but it tried.

 

Then Wes Craven entered the slasher ring. He already had some twisted views on sex (Last House on the Left, anyone?), and popularized the whole "sex = death" trope we know today. Then he had the gall with Scream to declare that it had always been a mindless staple, dating back to the movie Halloween. No, Wes, you hijacked it from Halloween!

 

 

I'm curious if the HDTGM crew decided on Season of the Witch as being the worst Halloween movie, or if they just wanted to make the Nicholas Cage tie-in.

[danm_999 30]

The master plan to wipe out children, replace everyone with robots and "change the world" in this movie is basically perfect when you think about. After all;

 

1) I cannot imagine anything most children would rather be doing at 9PM on Halloween than being at home watching a horror movie marathon, especially since there's a non-descript prize up for grabs.

 

2) Since there's no such thing as time zones, there's no chance of anybody getting an advance warning about the face melting, or no chance of it being too late anywhere for children to miss the broadcast

 

3) Every country in the world celebrates Halloween.

 

Bravo Cochran. This plan is flawless.

[DEATHMAN 3317]

Since they weren't able to stop every station from playing the commercial, there's a lot of kids whose heads exploded into bugs and snakes, and those bugs and snakes kill the parents and anyone else they encounter, so was the evil plan even foiled?

[Haze 112]

Got a correction for you here and this is coming from an actual Irishman, Conal Cochrans accent doesn't go anywhere. Thats what an actual Irish accent sounds like. Dan O'Herlihy was using his own real accent throughout.

[Yee212 4]

To fully appreciate this film's insanity, I think it's prudent to put its premise into a single sentence. Here it is:

 

"Because the planets have finally aligned, an evil Irish Warlock and novelty toy company owner mysteriously steals a magical Stonehenge rock and harvests its dust to plant into chips for his heavily advertised and widely distributed Halloween masks, produced in his small-town California factory staffed by a force of seemingly human, super-strength robots, so that kids around the world will wear the masks while watching his special commercial, which serves as a trigger for the chips to shoot off lasers and turn the children's heads into piles of deadly snakes and bugs, as a sacrifice to the Gaelic gods."

 

Talk about your next-level bonkers

[NigelDungan 9]

Oh shit. That explains why there was no mini-sode this week.

 

I'd just like to take this chance to air out a horror movie pet peeve.

 

I always thought the whole "horror movies are about punishing sex" trope has less to do with anything in the human psyche, and more to do with everyone not only ripping off Halloween, but not "getting it" in the process. Killing young couples having sex was part of Myers' character, resulting from a child's warped connection to his sister and catching her with another boy. All the knockoffs just figured "sex = death" and mindlessly ran with it.

 

Friday the 13th tried to make some connection with why the killer went after fornicating couples. It was loose, but it tried.

 

Then Wes Craven entered the slasher ring. He already had some twisted views on sex (Last House on the Left, anyone?), and popularized the whole "sex = death" trope we know today. Then he had the gall with Scream to declare that it had always been a mindless staple, dating back to the movie Halloween. No, Wes, you hijacked it from Halloween!

 

 

I'm curious if the HDTGM crew decided on Season of the Witch as being the worst Halloween movie, or if they just wanted to make the Nicholas Cage tie-in.

 

What about A Bay Of Blood? That pre dates Halloween and has a group of teenagers running of the have sex only to be slaughtered.

[wakefresh 689]

I swear to God, if June starts wearing white shirts and grows a beard like Jason, I am going to flip my shit.

[imhatch 271]

im wearing a white button up shirt right now will my torso turn into bugs if i listen to this

[wakefresh 689]

Jason making fapping sounds during the dramatic reading was great. And June, this was in the 80s, a time when guys didn't need swag to get laid. They just wore real short shorts (aka penis holders) or skin-tight jeans so they would be able to show their penis outline.

[wakefresh 689]

Just like to let everyone know that I'm making Marge Gutterman, from Union Square in San Francisco, the aunt of Eric Gutterman, student in Marina Del Rey Stars Program, a part of the Comedy Bang Bang cannon.

 

You're fucking welcome.

[robinsbruce 4985]

Sorry Jason!

 

[OcterDoctopus 1079]

Should I step forward to reveal that I sent them the Amy Congo action figure or is it better if I remain an anonymous angel?

[mattman92ish 823]

robits

[Teggums 2]

Just a something I noticed while watching this last night. The ex-wife is played by Nancy Kyes (Annie Beckett from the original Halloween) in this film.

[IMAHUGEHDTGMFAN 1837]

No guest on this episode and no Michael Myers in "Halloween III: Season of the Witch"

 

Coincidence or conspiracy or... BOTH!!!???

[Memphish_Boognish 249]

I love this episoe but I'm still a little disapointed Hollow Man didn't get chosen. Hearing Zouks go off on invisible man rape would have been incredible

[Lukas Holmes 2287]

As a kid, this movie scared the crap out of me. One of the great things about it, was how confusing it was. Michael wasn't in it. The plot confused me. The masks were weird. Nothing made sense. All of that added up to just one of the scariest things I had ever seen. As an adult now, and understanding how little sense it actually made, makes me like it more. There is something so perfect seeing something that doesn't totally add up in horror at a young age. It just adds to the confusion of childhood in general. I still love this film, always will.

[seanotron 2307]

I love this episoe but I'm still a little disapointed Hollow Man didn't get chosen. Hearing Zouks go off on invisible man rape would have been incredible

 

That's why I'm kind of glad they didn't do that one. SO UPSETTING.

[DubipR 485]

Best Zouks line:

"I didn't pay attention to the dumb words."

[PlanBFromOuterSpace 3138]

Crap, I had posted a picture here, but it didn't take. Eh, I'll try it again later...

[seanotron 2307]

 

 

[seanotron 2307]

[PhillipMedoc 648]

^^^ Jesus, that is terrifying.