Jump to content
JulyDiaz

Episode 74 — Halloween III: Season of the Witch

Recommended Posts

It’s a HDTGM first as Paul, June, and Jason go guestless this week to tackle the terrifyingly terrible Halloween III: Season of the Witch. They’ll discuss Dr. Sexy Detective sleeping with everyone, the robots full of goo, the evil Irish novelty toy manufacturer’s reason for his big Halloween plan, Marge Guttman’s bedwear, and Stonehenge lasers. The gang also explains how they would turn humans into robots if they were evil masterminds right before getting into another edition of Second Opinions. 8 more days ‘til Halloween!

Share this post


Link to post

Oh shit. That explains why there was no mini-sode this week.

 

I'd just like to take this chance to air out a horror movie pet peeve.

 

I always thought the whole "horror movies are about punishing sex" trope has less to do with anything in the human psyche, and more to do with everyone not only ripping off Halloween, but not "getting it" in the process. Killing young couples having sex was part of Myers' character, resulting from a child's warped connection to his sister and catching her with another boy. All the knockoffs just figured "sex = death" and mindlessly ran with it.

 

Friday the 13th tried to make some connection with why the killer went after fornicating couples. It was loose, but it tried.

 

Then Wes Craven entered the slasher ring. He already had some twisted views on sex (Last House on the Left, anyone?), and popularized the whole "sex = death" trope we know today. Then he had the gall with Scream to declare that it had always been a mindless staple, dating back to the movie Halloween. No, Wes, you hijacked it from Halloween!

 

 

I'm curious if the HDTGM crew decided on Season of the Witch as being the worst Halloween movie, or if they just wanted to make the Nicholas Cage tie-in.

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post

The master plan to wipe out children, replace everyone with robots and "change the world" in this movie is basically perfect when you think about. After all;

 

1) I cannot imagine anything most children would rather be doing at 9PM on Halloween than being at home watching a horror movie marathon, especially since there's a non-descript prize up for grabs.

 

2) Since there's no such thing as time zones, there's no chance of anybody getting an advance warning about the face melting, or no chance of it being too late anywhere for children to miss the broadcast

 

3) Every country in the world celebrates Halloween.

 

Bravo Cochran. This plan is flawless.

  • Like 3

Share this post


Link to post

Since they weren't able to stop every station from playing the commercial, there's a lot of kids whose heads exploded into bugs and snakes, and those bugs and snakes kill the parents and anyone else they encounter, so was the evil plan even foiled?

Share this post


Link to post

Got a correction for you here and this is coming from an actual Irishman, Conal Cochrans accent doesn't go anywhere. Thats what an actual Irish accent sounds like. Dan O'Herlihy was using his own real accent throughout.

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post

To fully appreciate this film's insanity, I think it's prudent to put its premise into a single sentence. Here it is:

 

"Because the planets have finally aligned, an evil Irish Warlock and novelty toy company owner mysteriously steals a magical Stonehenge rock and harvests its dust to plant into chips for his heavily advertised and widely distributed Halloween masks, produced in his small-town California factory staffed by a force of seemingly human, super-strength robots, so that kids around the world will wear the masks while watching his special commercial, which serves as a trigger for the chips to shoot off lasers and turn the children's heads into piles of deadly snakes and bugs, as a sacrifice to the Gaelic gods."

 

Talk about your next-level bonkers

  • Like 4

Share this post


Link to post
Oh shit. That explains why there was no mini-sode this week.

 

I'd just like to take this chance to air out a horror movie pet peeve.

 

I always thought the whole "horror movies are about punishing sex" trope has less to do with anything in the human psyche, and more to do with everyone not only ripping off Halloween, but not "getting it" in the process. Killing young couples having sex was part of Myers' character, resulting from a child's warped connection to his sister and catching her with another boy. All the knockoffs just figured "sex = death" and mindlessly ran with it.

 

Friday the 13th tried to make some connection with why the killer went after fornicating couples. It was loose, but it tried.

 

Then Wes Craven entered the slasher ring. He already had some twisted views on sex (Last House on the Left, anyone?), and popularized the whole "sex = death" trope we know today. Then he had the gall with Scream to declare that it had always been a mindless staple, dating back to the movie Halloween. No, Wes, you hijacked it from Halloween!

 

 

I'm curious if the HDTGM crew decided on Season of the Witch as being the worst Halloween movie, or if they just wanted to make the Nicholas Cage tie-in.

 

What about A Bay Of Blood? That pre dates Halloween and has a group of teenagers running of the have sex only to be slaughtered.

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post

I swear to God, if June starts wearing white shirts and grows a beard like Jason, I am going to flip my shit.

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post

im wearing a white button up shirt right now will my torso turn into bugs if i listen to this

  • Like 7

Share this post


Link to post

Jason making fapping sounds during the dramatic reading was great. And June, this was in the 80s, a time when guys didn't need swag to get laid. They just wore real short shorts (aka penis holders) or skin-tight jeans so they would be able to show their penis outline.

  • Like 3

Share this post


Link to post

Just like to let everyone know that I'm making Marge Gutterman, from Union Square in San Francisco, the aunt of Eric Gutterman, student in Marina Del Rey Stars Program, a part of the Comedy Bang Bang cannon.

 

You're fucking welcome.

  • Like 5

Share this post


Link to post

Should I step forward to reveal that I sent them the Amy Congo action figure or is it better if I remain an anonymous angel?

  • Like 3

Share this post


Link to post

Just a something I noticed while watching this last night. The ex-wife is played by Nancy Kyes (Annie Beckett from the original Halloween) in this film.

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post

No guest on this episode and no Michael Myers in "Halloween III: Season of the Witch"

 

Coincidence or conspiracy or... BOTH!!!???

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post

I love this episoe but I'm still a little disapointed Hollow Man didn't get chosen. Hearing Zouks go off on invisible man rape would have been incredible

  • Like 3

Share this post


Link to post

As a kid, this movie scared the crap out of me. One of the great things about it, was how confusing it was. Michael wasn't in it. The plot confused me. The masks were weird. Nothing made sense. All of that added up to just one of the scariest things I had ever seen. As an adult now, and understanding how little sense it actually made, makes me like it more. There is something so perfect seeing something that doesn't totally add up in horror at a young age. It just adds to the confusion of childhood in general. I still love this film, always will.

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post

I love this episoe but I'm still a little disapointed Hollow Man didn't get chosen. Hearing Zouks go off on invisible man rape would have been incredible

 

That's why I'm kind of glad they didn't do that one. SO UPSETTING.

Share this post


Link to post

Best Zouks line:

"I didn't pay attention to the dumb words."

  • Like 9

Share this post


Link to post

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

×