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JulyDiaz

Episode 81 — Mortal Kombat

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This movie was cool as shit when I was 11 years old. Certainly not perfect, but I loved the game and this was an entertaining romp for kids of my generation.

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And wrong some MORE! Replacement Raiden is Dexter Morgan's ADOPTED dad! BAM!

 

I think the logical conclusion is that Christopher Lambert is Dexter Texter Morgan's birth father.

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I think the logical conclusion is that Christopher Lambert is Dexter Texter Morgan's birth father.

 

Explains A LOT.

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I have a theory for the whole Kitana/Liu Kang "fight" where she's talking in riddles, although, I doubt they really went that deep with the movie.

 

One of the staples of the entire franchise is the sheer amount of secrets within the game, which gives you clues on how to find them. For example, in the first game, you can fight Reptile, and they'll have him show up with clues on how to fight him,

 

However, if that is the case (and I'm not saying that it really is), it really shows one of the problems with the movie, is the assumption that EVERYONE who watches the movie, knows the backstory. Like when Sub Zero and Scorpion are described as "mortal enemies", but it doesn't say why they're mortal enemies (Scorpion believes that Sub Zero and his clan killed Scorpion's family and clan, when they agreed to stop fighting.) So, for anyone coming into the movie cold, like Jason and June, they're not gonna know what the hell is happening.

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Well Sang Sum (the cousin of Shang Tsung who was available for the movie) didn't say they were enemies to each other, just that they were the deadliest of enemies to go up against (as in, "these guys are pretty badass, so just think how awesome I am for being able to control them.")

 

Also, the 'riddles' were freakin retarded, was so insanely easy to get yet Liu still didnt realize it until not only he tripped over a bucket of water (which Raiden left there, which surely must be cheating) but then Kitana showed up to the fight to put that extra button on it.

 

Not to mention her "three tests you to face to defeat Sang Sum" (one of which is simply going up a flight of stairs...)

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See, I took that to mean "These ninjas be beefin', yo! But I'm a badass mofo, I convinced them to work together to whoop all y'all bitches", Sang Sum has obviously gotten more "street" in this version, which I think would have made the movie awesome.

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Did anyone else notice that the music they used after Shang Tsung was defeated is the same music as the end of Mean Girls?

 

That means only one thing...

 

REGINA GEORGE IS SHANG FUCKING TSUNG!!

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No mini-ep this week?

Tell me about it, I was all gungho to listen to it this morning!

I am sadder than Zooks at an Omelet Buffet. :(

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THE NEW MINISODE HAS BEEN DELAYED.

 

My guess is Paul's probably drowning in all your corrections from last week's Mortal Kombat episode. - Intern Katie

 

That's from the facebook

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All week I've been saying "liver snaps" in a Cameron Esposito voice... it comes up more often than one would think!

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However, if that is the case (and I'm not saying that it really is), it really shows one of the problems with the movie, is the assumption that EVERYONE who watches the movie, knows the backstory. Like when Sub Zero and Scorpion are described as "mortal enemies", but it doesn't say why they're mortal enemies (Scorpion believes that Sub Zero and his clan killed Scorpion's family and clan, when they agreed to stop fighting.) So, for anyone coming into the movie cold, like Jason and June, they're not gonna know what the hell is happening.

 

This is actually what pissed me off about the movie as a kid, even though I deluded myself into liking it at the time. Scorpion was by far my favorite character, so for this movie to acknowledge such detailed backstory in the characters, yet pay such dismissive lip service to 90% of it, was the worst of both worlds. It said, "oh yeah, there's an actual story here, but we're just gonna skip that and give you a throwaway line instead and make this fire-breathing badass hellspawn a sidekick baddie whose death does nothing but give a secondary good guy character something to fight for two minutes of screen time. Also, his arch nemesis, a fan favorite, will be killed by a bucket."

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This is actually what pissed me off about the movie as a kid, even though I deluded myself into liking it at the time. Scorpion was by far my favorite character, so for this movie to acknowledge such detailed backstory in the characters, yet pay such dismissive lip service to 90% of it, was the worst of both worlds. It said, "oh yeah, there's an actual story here, but we're just gonna skip that and give you a throwaway line instead and make this fire-breathing badass hellspawn a sidekick baddie whose death does nothing but give a secondary good guy character something to fight for two minutes of screen time. Also, his arch nemesis, a fan favorite, will be killed by a bucket."

 

Yeah, and their whole rivalry is one of the staples of the story. especially when you factor in Noob Saibot.

 

They could have done similar to what they did at the beginning of Bloodsport, and do a quick introductory montage for the characters, apart from Goro, you save him until later, and then say "The Champion of Mortal Kombat has decided to enter", and then in comes the big, four-armed motherfucker.

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Nice.

 

One thing I think Mortal Kombat has done well as a franchise are their opening sequences. Since MK: Deadly Alliance, they've been really good.

 

 

These 5 minute clips probably told more story than both movies combined.

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A note about the Mortal Kombat remix from this movie: it was done by Dr. Luke, who also is the producer that is responsible for most of Katy Perry's massive hit songs, 'Since U Been Gone' from Kelly Clarkson, 'Party in the USA' from Miley Cyrus.

 

Just thought that was interesting. The guy has a crazy history. Also was the guitarist on SNL for a while.

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I'm a WAY late on this post but it took a while for me to finally join this awesome board.

 

Won't deny, I was a huge fan of the original MK game, I could beat the game on a single play and only knew about 3 people better than me in all of Seattle

 

so ya, I was an uber nerd for the game

 

And that's how I got a free screener for the flick, I remember I was at the arcade and the guy working there walked up to me mid game and gave me a pass.

 

My g/f (and now wife) saw it and we both actually liked it, it was fricken awesome! I bought the soundtrack and only liked one track, I bought the VHS and would watch the pants off it!

 

20 years later I've caught the flick on cable a couple of times and I think to myself "WOW this has aged almost as badly as Ice Pirates"

 

So ya, you're review hurt a little but I also know the movie is pretty bad.

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@DrFancyPants so... how did you feel about the sequel?

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I bought the soundtrack and only liked one track

 

There was more than one?!

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Ladies and Gentleman, I have no words, if anything, I think it might collapse the How Did This Get Made universe!

 

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So, the premise of the video series is that Wiseau is kidnapped by aliens and forced to watch and review video games? I guess that means there are at least two different species of aliens out there; the kidnapping aliens, and whatever bizarre species of interplanetary being Wiseau himself belongs.

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But, it does seem to implicate that while their may be life out there, it's intelligence is debateable.

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