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Episode 31 — Dave Thomas, Our Close Friend

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Can you guys seriously stop posting all these bones. TOO SCARY.

 

What's next? Frankensteins and Boooooogeymans and ghouls? TOO SCARY.

 

Way too scary.

 

Too scary.

 

 

Alright...

 

I don't want to do this, but I feel like I need to. For my therapy and shit.

 

So my Therapist has me working through my fear of too scary things such as ghosts and skelingtons as you all probably know. It's been quite the fucking terrible adventure. I recently was tasked with going to a group skelington 'gathering' where real life skellingtons meet and scare normal humans all night.

 

I can't lie it was the most terrifying thing I've ever done... You guys have no idea. You think these fun gifs of skellingtons dancing, playing bone flutes, and flicking the camera off in a cool rebellious way are scary, Imagine that you're in the fucking pits with them. It's, for lack of many better words, scary.

 

So basically I started off the night with some skepticism. I hung close to the wall as to not bring too much attention to myself as seen here in this photo (I documented the night for proof that I actually went through this 'hair raising' experience. Also I may look completely drunk but I am! I had to, it's the only damn way to get through something like this).

 

320524_10100205512438435_1708594861_n.jpg

 

Did I mention these skellingtons also surf? Don't even fucking ask dudes and two to three girls.

 

Later the group banded together and started harassing human beings. At this point I had to put on the rest of my costume to blend in as a real life skellington. I could only stand Idly by as the persecuted and verbally assaulted innocent peds (pedestrians).

 

photo1.jpg

 

I was so scared that I had to remove myself from the situation all together and plant myself in a different room. Where I stood quietly until...

 

photo21.jpg

 

We all went surfing in a graveyard! (which for some reason was very nicely documented and edited to panda bear... I don't know which of the nights creatures was responsible for this, but I hesitate to give them props seeing is how they are not of the living world.)

 

https://vimeo.com/23618312

 

Unless one of you have come face to face with a dracular, or a fuckin god damn wolfmin, or a monster squad, or a stephen king, or a johnny depp in that stephen king movie where he's in a cabin or whatever, or a fucking tarantula, or a smaug, or dare I say an outer spacemin, or a that 'little person' episode of twin peaks, or any x files episode ever made, or later that other scary show called 'millennium' that inspired may fathers around the country to go buy a gun, Than I don't want to hear it anymore ma braz

 

but keep it real, sorry this post was so long. Just miss yall is all

 

edit:

 

Also if any of you are in or near the cincinnati area next Tuesday come to Bogarts and see Eugene Merrmann. It'll be fun and we can hang out and meet irl

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Hey Hollywood Handbook Heads aka tastemakers whom I cherish, do any of you have any good new music rec's to make? Looking to update my iPod playlists for the summah (not stealing this from Howard Kremer, I live in Maine and that's how they say it here so please no accusations). I can only stand to read Pitchfork reviews for a few secs before contemplating the urge to jump off a building B) (<-- this one's for Gabe)

 

p.s. I hope this discussion topic suggestion garners more success than my Fuck Marry Kill: Engineer Edition one did

 

 

See if you can't vibe on this

 

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You lobbed this one over the plate, so i'm gonna have to swing and plug my radio show that archives on this page every saturday night

 

This week we played a lot of burger records bands, some gnar tapes bands. I recently ordered a bunch of mississippi records compilation cassettes that ARE SOOOOO good but a lot of the tunes are hard to find online.

 

here are the four songs i sang really loud this week:

 

 

 

 

west coast

 

I kinda thought you we're asking for real suggestions, but if not -- here's a joke.

 

There's this band called U2 that had a special edition red and black ipod but then it got stolen out of my locker.

 

EDIT -- i kno ur not swiss but this is a swiss girl group from the 80s that

 

 

That New Swears video has a special place in my heart... I HATE the fact that I'm turning fucking 30 in two months and I never rage with my fucking dudes like I used to like that.

 

If you ever want to hear I was in a band called 'pack of strays' (sort of as a joke but sort of not) and we have a similar video but not nearly as good. It was inspired by mean jeans 'steve don't party no more' which when I say 'inspired' I mean it's just a bunch of us partying and shit.

 

sorry to get so real, but I DID say I was going to get drunk and get on the forums tonight.

 

after all it is thursday.

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Frej Frej: get your spotify on guh, I don't know what kind of music you like but check out the debut album from Tweens. They are a trashy punk band from Cincinnati (BURDRULZ), pretty good.

 

Also check out Lee Bains III & The Glory Fires. Its super loud.

 

This music should also be calming to your ancient cat. Or is it just deaf or blind or whatever and a young'un?

 

 

I'll be back with movie recommendations lates bros.

 

My friends shot their video in this old Mason Lodge my other friend bought in bellvue Kentucky. It's a dirty trashy place which is why it's so gnarly. But yeah they're good for sure.

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At the very end of this week's improv4humans, we learn that the owner of Google donated a million dollars to Hollywood Handbook! (and also bought some stupid table??). Besser was pissed. Hayes probably isn't too happy either, because apparently Sean pocketed the whole thing.

 

Just heard that today. CLEMENTSSS!!!!

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SO

 

also the show was really funny. I liked when Dave Thomas fuckin' shut down multiple restaurants. I wish I had that kind of pull in my town.

 

If you could shut some shit down what would it be?

 

me? I guess it'd have to be downton abbey themed restaurant where you have to own a human in order to eat there. And if you don't own a human you can rent one for a reasonable fee.

 

It's not that I don't agree with "owning humans" it's just that the bathroom smelled like some real old person shit

 

and I'm done, sorry for the mass posts, I just gotta bulk do it kinda thing.

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Just took the survey. 13% of us are females, 71% single (HAHA), 90% between the ages 18-34. Ugh millenials amirite?!!

I don't understand why so many of us are single. What could this possibly mean?!?!?!??!!?

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Only 57% of Never Not Funny listeners are single. Hang on while I put this info up on my wall and connect it with red string.

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93% of Nerd Poker listeners are male, but only 65% are single, and 0% are divorced. Dungeoniers marry for life?

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SO

 

also the show was really funny. I liked when Dave Thomas fuckin' shut down multiple restaurants. I wish I had that kind of pull in my town.

 

If you could shut some shit down what would it be?

 

me? I guess it'd have to be downton abbey themed restaurant where you have to own a human in order to eat there. And if you don't own a human you can rent one for a reasonable fee.

 

It's not that I don't agree with "owning humans" it's just that the bathroom smelled like some real old person shit

 

and I'm done, sorry for the mass posts, I just gotta bulk do it kinda thing.

 

Here's a thought: Make a restaurant called "The Hungry Centipede" - Human centipede themed fine dining. Virtually eliminate the poop smell...

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what up what up errbody awesome posts this has to be the only forum that is as funny as the show

I didnt know much about Dave Thomas but he interacted with s+h better than any guest so far

 

You guys catch this american comedy awards? i havent seen the bros at all. they must be protesting bc its arbitrary bs created by the man to distract us from the real problems plaguing the world and they're so above that.

 

i bet chanson is okay. i heard hes riding his bicycle from BC to Alaska some sort of spirit trek and because he wants to fight a bear in mortal kombat. just enjoy all the extra 'likes' up for grabs.

 

donations, surveys, 100+ posts? seems like a big commitment we should unionize as soon as we get up to 5 girls in here or the next thing you know earwolf will have "popcorn gallery" the podcast

 

Homerun burdrulz! i was enthralled by your skellington tales. some brave stuff

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i p much only listen to rap, i can give some recs on that if u like but this doesnt seem like a rap crowd

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I'm a single white male... Let me check my privilege!

 

Hayesean, can you talk about checking privilege this week on the ep?

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Could you please also create a new segment called "This Week... IN THE FORUMS!" where you recap how many posts and pick your top 3 posts? Please do it at the top of every show because sometimes I don't have time to listen to the whole thing and I want to make sure I hear that segment. I can make you a theme song if you want it.

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I really took offense to Matt Besser's comments on todays Improv4noonebecauseyourshowsucks. He referred to Sean as just "Clements" multiple times. He obviously has no respect for this show, or any of us. Please have Matt Besser on the show so he can address what he said and apologize. He's pissed off the wrong people.

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well mr besser should definitely be on, because he would be a good guest

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That New Swears video has a special place in my heart... I HATE the fact that I'm turning fucking 30 in two months and I never rage with my fucking dudes like I used to like that.

 

If you ever want to hear I was in a band called 'pack of strays' (sort of as a joke but sort of not) and we have a similar video but not nearly as good. It was inspired by mean jeans 'steve don't party no more' which when I say 'inspired' I mean it's just a bunch of us partying and shit.

 

sorry to get so real, but I DID say I was going to get drunk and get on the forums tonight.

 

after all it is thursday.

 

DUDE you were in Pack of Strays ANNNND Jordy and Gnardoggies??? Far out. I bet you've got some freakin siq callouses on your fingers by now.

 

I play in a band too but I told myself i'd stop name dropping on this thing so you'll just have to figure out what we're called.

 

11m9jwn.jpg

 

dude can everybody just stop with the freaking skelingtons? jeez it's like i'm trying to shed some poundage for beach season and these lean ass surfer bros are not helping my body image. and if you must know my ex girlfriend is dating a friggin skeleton and i don't even care. i didn't even look him up on facebook but he probably can't even bone for shit because like i'm the king and stuff. who cares. i'm doing great.

 

ps.

 

mean jeans rulz (they've put out records on gnar and burger so HOW COULD THEY NOT RULZ?)

 

key boys is also rulz -- thanks for that, i had no idea. old foreign scenes are the best. a lot of goofy rock n roll came out of zambia in the early 70s and i'm

through a
phase.

 

I'm a single white male... Let me check my privilege!

 

Hayesean, can you talk about checking privilege this week on the ep?

 

http://flagland.bandcamp.com/track/straight-white-male

 

k sori, i'm done with the songs.

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well mr besser should definitely be on, because he would be a good guest

 

They've kinda softened down on getting the names of things wrong, and I think, if Besser is ever a guest, they should kick that all the way up, as it seems like it would annoy him.

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i'll have whatever burdrulz is havin lol

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dude can everybody just stop with the freaking skelingtons? jeez it's like i'm trying to shed some poundage for beach season and these lean ass surfer bros are not helping my body image. and if you must know my ex girlfriend is dating a friggin skeleton and i don't even care. i didn't even look him up on facebook but he probably can't even bone for shit because like i'm the king and stuff. who cares. i'm doing great.

 

ps.

 

mean jeans rulz (they've put out records on gnar and burger so HOW COULD THEY NOT RULZ?)

 

key boys is also rulz -- thanks for that, i had no idea. old foreign scenes are the best. a lot of goofy rock n roll came out of zambia in the early 70s and i'm

through a
phase.

 

 

 

I'm sorry about your stupid ex girlfriend dude. I bet her new skeleton boy friend is totally lame and doesn't get very cool boners, even though he probably has a literal bone for a dong.

 

you are the king and you are doing great.

 

I love that there is this whole world of these amazing bands that never got as big as other bands from their respective eras. So there is like all this awesome weird dutch Psych and shit.

 

Honestly any Psych mixtape that Aquarium Drunkard puts out is going to be pretty amazing, and you'll get lots of shit out of it.

 

Hip Hop heads and Psych enthusiast will apreciate these Mix Tapes that Edan put out years ago. It's like the 'Edan Radio show' or something. He's got this thing he did for redbull music acedemy which is cool, but the one he put out in like 2009 is way awesome because it's just him in his living room playing amazing tracks.

 

http://www.rbmaradio.com/shows/edan-headphone-highlights

 

alright. later again

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I love that there is this whole world of these amazing bands that never got as big as other bands from their respective eras. So there is like all this awesome weird dutch Psych and shit.

 

Honestly any Psych mixtape that Aquarium Drunkard puts out is going to be pretty amazing, and you'll get lots of shit out of it.

 

Hip Hop heads and Psych enthusiast will apreciate these Mix Tapes that Edan put out years ago. It's like the 'Edan Radio show' or something. He's got this thing he did for redbull music acedemy which is cool, but the one he put out in like 2009 is way awesome because it's just him in his living room playing amazing tracks.

 

http://www.rbmaradio...hone-highlights

 

alright. later again

 

Burdy, Two words...Bosporous Bridges. Look it up

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i'll have whatever burdrulz is havin lol

 

freja, i'm curious to know who has friend requested you THUS far (since ur facebook is now ur signature) -- and if ur personal friends with sean and hayes yet??

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did anybody else notice that the asian impression that sean does on this ep is from a segment they did about Bbro on ep 29 of rss "this is rude"? starts around 17:00

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Hundo party! I think I forgot to count that low when it comes to dollars though :\.

 

 

freja, i'm curious to know who has friend requested you THUS far (since ur facebook is now ur signature) -- and if ur personal friends with sean and hayes yet??

 

Wow I didn't even notice it until you posted this post here. Friend Request Status: SENT!!! Will keep you guys updated on that status. So far I'm FB Friends with:

 

Sean, Hayes, Narnold, TheloniousJunk, Chanson, V-B, and maybe others I'm forgetting?

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