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Blast Hardcheese

Which Movies Does HDTGM Absolutely Need To Review?

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My List:


1) The Happening

2) Dreamcatcher

3) Maximum Overdrive

4) Double Dragon

5) The Wizard


And if we're doing a top 10


6) Southland Tales

7) Return to Sleepaway Camp

8) League of Extraordinary Gentlemen

9) Showgirls

10) Robocop 2


2.) Gothika - at first glance you might think it's just a run of the mill bad movie, but when you really start disecting the plot you realize just how bonkers it is.


Gothika was insane for the ending alone where they let a woman who KILLED HER HUSBAND WITH AN AXE to go free. What's worse is that she KNOWS she did it!

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I sincerely hope they watch and review the entire "Trapped in the Closet" saga. Everything about it is just tailor-made for HDTGM. Not to mention that R. Kelly is fucking crazy; would only add to the amazing discussions they could have if they ever reviewed it.

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Junior... That's My Boy


it's their logo and they still haven't done this yet. maybe ep 100? also, they need to do Jack and Jill before That's My Boy. I still can't wrap my head around that movie.

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1. The Wraith (1986)

2. Gladiator (1992)

3. Lady in the Water (2006)

4. Harley Davidson and the Marlboro Man (1991)

5. Cat People (1982)

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I'm on here to back up the Stealth recommendation. It is way funny and gets a little too big for its britches trying to make homages to 2001 a Space Odyssey. It's really good!

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Okay, here's my list. Probably too long, but there are just so many!


1) Deep Blue Sea

2) The Haunting

3) Monster Squad

4) Airborne

5) Volcano or Dante's Peak

6) Suburban Commando

7) S.W.A.T.

8) Rocky IV

9) Masters of the Universe

10) Child's Play 3

11) Phone Booth

12) American Summer

13) Sphere

14) Event Horizon

15) Just One of the Guys-Okay, I really like this one...

16) Men at Work


Fuck, I just realized how much of my life has been spent on crappy movies....Make them pay!


But seriously, all of these are certainly watchable. Absolutely.

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INDEPENDENCE DAY-- A determined group of cringeworthy stereotypes saves 1% of Earth's population by using a laptop (and wireless connectivity?) to commence the auto-destruct function of the mothership of a race of alien monsters that are dumb as rocks but somehow have mastered interstellar travel. (I hate everything about this movie.)


THE HAPPENING -- The lead actors, who have queer emotional responses to ordinary life, find that they must run away from a wind that makes the day players self destructive, only to find that Betty Buckley has changed since "Eight is Enough." (I am so happy I finally watched this movie.)


MAXIMUM OVERDRIVE -- Machines against idiots. I last watched this one with close captioning on and noticed a caption during a defecation scene that consisted only of the word "squish" in brackets. (This movie is kinda fun in its stupidity.)


ST. ELMO'S FIRE -- The movie about a group of college grads that tells it like it isn't, never was, and never could be. Makes you realize that Joel Schumacher killed the Brat Pack before he killed the Batman franchise. ([squish])

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LETHAL WEAPON 2 -- This will never get done because Seth MacFarlane got there first, but this movie is completely bonkers, even by the standards of the Lethal Weapon franchise. I like the episodes where fondly remembered movies are skewered, and this is definitely a prime candidate.


POINT BREAK - I am not the first person to suggest this.


NEW JACK CITY - But only if Chris Rock is the guest contributor.

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The top of the list really needs to be Zookeeper.


Good lord is this a terrrrible movie. What an utter abomination. Kevin James is the essence of stupidity in movies. Intentionally a dumb character? it doesn't matter. The movie HAD to of been written by a 4 year old with a made up adult name. There's no way in the 7 layers of hell that an adult with a functioning brain could have written this.


Kevin James, boy you really outdid yourself with this 1, and not just him there is a slew of actors in this movie that are notorious for having awful films.


Still it boggles my mind how incredibly senseless and embarrassing this i movie is. So much that i have to dedicate an entire thread to it.

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Masters of the Universe: a Star Wars wannabe starring that russian dude from Rocky 4.

Relatedly, the Allan Quatermain movies are incredibly bad Indiana Jones knockoffs (although the books are apparently much older).


I remember seeing the "Crystal Skull" knockoff from a hotel room in Mexico. Don't know how many levels that rates below "on an airplane" but I'm sure it's a few.

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JCVD triple feature.

One plot, served three ways.


1.) Bloodsport (1988)

2.) Lionheart (1990)

3.) The Quest (1996)


Other Jean Claude action stinkers to be considered are:


4.) Death Warrant (1990)

5.) Hard Target (1993)


I would add Cyborg to this list, because it is truly awful, but I think it is also incredibly boring, and therefor no fun.

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First post on the forums, and it's for a good cause: John Carpenter's Vampires. I got more laughs out of this utterly preposterous movie than most comedies. They try EVERYTHING to make James Woods seem cool (leather jacket, explosions behind him, "cool" monologues), and they all fail in a spectacular fashion. You guys will love (or at least hate/love) it.

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Poor Dolph Lundgren is now "that guy from Rocky 4" to an entire generation.


Not only that, but everyone assumes he's Russian when he's actually Swedish!

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Santa Claus: a Mexican movie from the 50's where Santa battles a demon sent by Satan to corrupt kids. Awkward messages and nightmare fuel for kids all around!

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Some which I'd go for:


Mortal Kombat: Annihilation, has to be done, as a huge fanboy of the games, there were plenty of "NO! THAT'S NOT HOW IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE!!" moments, without getting into how gloriously bad it is.


Undefeatable, granted, it's considered a Hong Kong movie, however, it is the source material for the "Greatest Fight Scene EVER".



Doom, Another video game movie which completely ignores the source material, but does have The Rock being a bad ass.

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First post on this forum... you're welcome, Planet Earth!


My choices would be:


1. Razor Blade Smile

2. Masters Of The Universe

3. The Nine Lives Of Fritz The Cat

4. Freddy Got Fingered

5. Highlander 2: The Quickening

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Heartbeeps - Andy Kaufman's BIZARRE attempt at a mainstream movie career.


Captain America (1990) - The only superhero movie in which the "hero" fakes being sick TWICE.


Chronicles of Riddick - Truly fits in the category of "how did this get made." Expensive, great production values, Judy Dench----absolutely impenetrable.


47 Ronin - Currently the biggest financial flop in history.



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Speaking of Keanu.... Johnny Mnemonic. The movie in which he's cast as a guy with literally an empty head. Not a stretch for him, then....

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