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Which Movies Does HDTGM Absolutely Need To Review?

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JUPITER ASCENDING. The greatest film ever made. It's got space werewolf Channing Tatum on magic space rollerskates, glam Voldemort who speaks like he's dying, talking dragons, the space DMV, evil space capitalist tycoons, incest and BEES.

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JUPITER ASCENDING. The greatest film ever made. It's got space werewolf Channing Tatum on magic space rollerskates, glam Voldemort who speaks like he's dying, talking dragons, the space DMV, evil space capitalist tycoons, incest and BEES.

 

I concur. Put Oedipus Ascending on the watch list while it's still in theatres, please. This movie is BONKERS.

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One other person suggested this, but I have to second them. The Village People musical Can't Stop the Music starring Steve Guttenberg is one of the most deliriously terrible movies I've ever seen. It's also the movie Olivia Newton-John turned down to do Xanadu. Because XANADU seemed like a better bet. It's a blast. Very much in the Glitter, Burlesque, Xanadu, Liz & Dick category of campy gay delights.

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Seeing Ed Herrmann's name at the Oscars reminded me of Lost Boys. Not sure if that movie is "bad" enough, but the Coreys have been ignored for too long for this to continue. So my "must" is some movie featuring the Coreys. We can also have a bonus discussion about Corey Haim's pre-rehab vanity video.

 

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1) Light of Day -- 1987 Michael J. Fox & Joan Jett

2) Aquamarine -- 2006 tweet crapfest with Emma Roberts

3) Perfect -- 1985 John Travolta & Jamie Lee Curtis

4) The Mirror Has Two Faces -- 1996 Barbara Streisand & Jeff Bridges

5) Tapeheads 1988 John Cusack and Tim Robbins

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Apologies if this is already mentioned or been done (I did check) but Fire Birds aka Wings of the Apache starring the mighty combo of Nicolas Cage and Sean Young. In case you haven't endured it it's a really pisspoor ripoff of Top Gun with almost no urgency or drama. God knows how they made it so turgid. As I recall the hero's main challenge to succeeding as a pilot is right eye dominance or some similar shite.

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Theodore Rex! Whoopi Goldberg is a detective who partners up with a dinosaur . That's all you need to know.

 

What the actual fuck?

 

I had to check that on IMDB because quite frankly I didn't believe you.

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I just happened to catch "The Boost" on cable the other night. This is the perfect movie for HDTGM!! It has James Woods as a coke-head! Sean Young trying to act! 1980's fashion! It is hilarious to watch Woods act coked-out. His character starts as a spaz so he has to turn it up to 11 when he is high. Please do this movie.

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What the actual fuck?

 

I had to check that on IMDB because quite frankly I didn't believe you.

 

Haha it's nuts! It was made for HDTGM.

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Apologies if this is already mentioned or been done (I did check) but Fire Birds aka Wings of the Apache starring the mighty combo of Nicolas Cage and Sean Young. In case you haven't endured it it's a really pisspoor ripoff of Top Gun with almost no urgency or drama. God knows how they made it so turgid. As I recall the hero's main challenge to succeeding as a pilot is right eye dominance or some similar shite.

 

Here's the topic that I started so you can comment: http://forum.earwolf.com/topic/17035-fire-birds/

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What the actual fuck?

 

I had to check that on IMDB because quite frankly I didn't believe you.

 

A lot of Whoopi's movies really sound like they are fake movies that Tracy Jordan starred in on 30 Rock. Along with "cop who is partnered with a dinosaur" there is "goes undercover disguised as a white dude to get taken seriously" (The Associate) and "gets custody of a child with a crazy French imaginary friend". And let's not forget Made in America, a movie that exists just to remind us that there was a point in history when Ted Danson and Whoopi were fucking.

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And let's not forget Made in America, a movie that exists just to remind us that there was a point in history when Ted Danson and Whoopi were fucking.

 

Ted and Whoopi probably had a great time. Nobody who watched that film did.

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It's been a while since I've visited the forum and even longer since I've revisited this thread. In that time, I've amassed a list of 20 films on my iPhones Notes app that have yet to make it on HDTGM.

 

Here goes:

 

1. Showgirls

2. Ishtar

3. Cutthroat Island

4. Waterworld

5. The Black Dahlia

6. Leonard Part 6

7. Suicide Squad

8. The Amazing Spider-Man 2

9. X-Men Origins: Wolverine

10. Fant4stic

11. Freddie Got Fingered

12. The Postman

13. Southland Tales

14. The Scarlett Letter

15. Spawn

16. Robot Jox

17. Christmas with The Cranks

18. Frozen Assets

19. G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra

20. Jack and Jill

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13. Southland Tales

I hate to be the bearer of bad news but Paul has officially stated that they will never do Southland Tales.

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It's been a while since I've visited the forum and even longer since I've revisited this thread. In that time, I've amassed a list of 20 films on my iPhones Notes app that have yet to make it on HDTGM.

 

Here goes:

 

1. Showgirls

2. Ishtar

3. Cutthroat Island

4. Waterworld

5. The Black Dahlia

6. Leonard Part 6

7. Suicide Squad

8. The Amazing Spider-Man 2

9. X-Men Origins: Wolverine

10. Fant4stic

11. Freddie Got Fingered

12. The Postman

13. Southland Tales

14. The Scarlett Letter

15. Spawn

16. Robot Jox

17. Christmas with The Cranks

18. Frozen Assets

19. G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra

20. Jack and Jill

 

Hey, Blast I hope whatever's kept you away for so long isn't a permanent thing! It's good to hear from you.

 

In terms of your list, I would love if they did Cutthroat Island - which I just had the pleasure of watching for the first time recently. I would also still love to see Wolverine: Origins with Gerry Duggan and Brian Posehn.

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15. Spawn

 

This one jumps out at me, seems absolutely perfect for this podcast.

 

-Weird and inexplicable comic-book origin story.

-Horrendously bad CGI, even for the time period.

-Well-known actor chewing scenery like crazy (John Leguizamo).

 

Love it!

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I hate to be the bearer of bad news but Paul has officially stated that they will never do Southland Tales.

 

Any idea why? This movie is batshit bananas.

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Any idea why? This movie is batshit bananas.

 

He straight up said in a mini ep (not long ago, but I don't remember which one) that they're working actors and there are too many people involved in the movie that they don't want to piss off. He said if you want to hear someone talk about it, you could try a different bad movie podcast, but they wouldn't be doing it on HDTGM. He was really cool about it. It sucks, but I respect their decision and his forthrightness.

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