Episode 47 — Zoe Jarman, Our Close Friend

[kobthatreal 5896]

Back the fuck off Ft Lauderdale... I once got in a car accident and had sex with the girl I hit the same night. She let me stay at her house and made me a burger for breakfast.

[ajzthisisdumb 857]

I have some pics, but like Junk and Clem I'm not so good at doing photos on here. Any tips? Do I have to host the photo somewhere?

I believe you DO have to have them hosted somewhere. at least that is how I have always posted pics (tinypic.com was the first search result I got so that is what I have taken to using )

[greggy 15909]

i always use this site called imgur.com

upload your image there and then copy the little bit of code in "BBCode (message boards & forums)" and paste that in to your post here

 

if u have further problems i can hit alt+f4 wit my toes and make some screenshotties

[robinsbruce 4985]

Back the fuck off Ft Lauderdale... I once got in a car accident and had sex with the girl I hit the same night. She let me stay at her house and made me a burger for breakfast.

 

Officially quitting my job to get to the bottom of this

[kobthatreal 5896]

To be fair I had a bottle of jack in my trunk for a present and we drank that at her place. She also made me watch a few episodes of the Big Bang theory. But the funniest part is 3 months later she messages me that she's sorry for any wrong doing she had done to me as she had been using heroin for a while.... I freaked out and went n got tested even though we used condoms. It was scary but I'm clean and I learned my lesson... U know what, Ft Lauderdale sucks.

[RyanWright 713]

Did you really grow up in an orphanage? Because, if you did, I will leave my [redacted] for you right now.

 

Yes. Yes I did and I've never really been able to open up to anyone about it. Most people can't understand a life of being unwanted. Always wishing you had a warm sheltered place to call home, to belong to somewhere, and to be needed by someone. I try to be tough and conceal my wounds with comedy but for years I felt like I was in constant free fall. Honestly I am afraid to even let my mind drift back to those days... You have changed all of that though, my beautiful, wonderful Valerie Bryant, you are amazing and one of a kind. Having a future with you in it makes the harshness of my past disappear. When I think of you I feel safe, and I am brave, and in your eyes I finally know where I belong.

 

 

*Suck it [ redacted], it's over man.

**No really I hope I didn't cross any lines here

**Seriously just a bit, unless it works. In that case I meant every word.

Including the suck it part

[RyanWright 713]

Maybe you are Benjamin Buttoning...do you remember being 80?

 

Um, I remember pooping myself a bunch and not being able to walk very well

but I guess that could go either way really.

[RyanWright 713]

[burdrulz 1760]

i always use this site called imgur.com

upload your image there and then copy the little bit of code in "BBCode (message boards & forums)" and paste that in to your post here

 

if u have further problems i can hit alt+f4 wit my toes and make some screenshotties

 

 

Photo bucket you guys.

 

It's like old and terrible, straight from 'live journal' days.

[burdrulz 1760]

U know what, Ft Lauderdale sucks.

 

I like your style my man... Michael Bay of Pigs, at last we share some common ground. Not only to you not like Ft. Lauderdale, but you dislike it for WAY cooler reasons than I dislike it.

 

I was upset at the lack of Putt Putt.

 

You see when you're from the part of the country that I'm from, you go to places like 'destin' or 'panama city beach' anything in the pan handle that you truly know is going to be something of a nightmare.

 

---

 

I'm sorry for posting so much, but I don't have to work tomorrow so you know it's a drink fest / post fest up in my apartment tonight!!!

 

I got like six different Buzz Feed quizes going, all of them have something to do with Sean and or Hayes and or Both. To give you guys an example of some of the quizes we've got on here:

 

'which sean and hayes sex position do you aspire to use the most?' - I got 'the dinner bell'... Not sure what that is, but in the explanation it said it had something to do with a penis.

 

One of the quizes was about having seen brides maids or not, turns out I haven't seen it, even though I remember watching it via red box. So I'm going to have to re take that one because I don't understand which question I might have answered wrong. It was simply a Yes or No quiz... I don't know.

 

I sat for a minute and realized I couldn't think of any relevant jokes from the episode, or recent episodes... Can you guys think of any?

[showshowbro 1177]

Back the fuck off Ft Lauderdale... I once got in a car accident and had sex with the girl I hit the same night. She let me stay at her house and made me a burger for breakfast.

 

wut is a burger?

[showshowbro 1177]

can we do the forum mix? I think it could be rad?

what do you guys think.

 

Okay let’s do a practice run. This mix is gonna be called ‘Dead Man’s Curve.’ Post a cool song that you think should be on a mix with a title – ‘Dead Man’s Curve.’

 

https://soundcloud.c...ts/fast-as-fuck

[chanson 9697]

I wasn't gonna post this week to protest Tim's childhood photos (Fuck you, Tim.) but I just have something I have to say to everyone because I've been drinking.

 

There's a hard-bodied longly-donged Tiger Scout guy on this forum who tickles my funny bone in all the right ways (makes me laugh sometimes). So yeah.

 

Done.

[Asteck 1250]

 

Okay let’s do a practice run. This mix is gonna be called ‘Dead Man’s Curve.’ Post a cool song that you think should be on a mix with a title – ‘Dead Man’s Curve.’

 

https://soundcloud.c...ts/fast-as-fuck

Dead man's curve made me think of this song before I listened to the one you posted, so I dunno if it works. I guess it would.

 

The only other song the title made me think of was that Last Kiss song, which I think is just straight up a story of a dead man's curve accident. Don't use that one.

Also, I agree with all of chanson's sentiments regarding tim and the other person who is very funny on here the he referenced. I mean to say that tim sucks and ssb is real funny and shizz. suck it tim!

[showshowbro 1177]

Dead man's curve made me think of this song before I listened to the one you posted, so I dunno if it works. I guess it would.

The only other song the title made me think of was that Last Kiss song, which I think is just straight up a story of a dead man's curve accident. Don't use that one.

 

A). The Cramps are so rad. Psychedelic Jungle is an especially sick record..

. This fits the theme perfectly. The track I chose is very literal, but it doesn’t need to be that way at all.

 

I do this thing with my friends called record club. I stole it from a book called on celestial music… Basically, it’s like book club in that a group of wannabe intellectual types get together once a month to drink wine and eat food, only instead of talking about a book, everyone brings two songs to play and we talk about those. Eventually everyone gets a mix-tape of all the songs (on cassette ‘cause it’s more fun that way). The best themes are always the really vague ones like ‘where you goin?’ or ‘hungry and dirty’ and we really geek out. The main point is that hitting the theme on the nose isn’t as important as picking a kick-ass song, and vague themes are more conducive to this. Anyone sincerely interested in listening to some bad-ass mix tapes might wanna take a look at this catalogue of mix tapes made by the dudes @ mississippi records in portland -- http://www.discogs.c...965-Tape-Series

 

Aww gee, you guys are actually the biggest sweethearts around – and I think YOU guys are v funny and have v big muscles and v big nuts n weenies!!

 

Chanson, so far as all the tiger scout guy stuff goes -- last Saturday was a painful dirge of bad bad jokes and zero rhythm – but I updated a bunch of archives and came across one show I thought was funny enough to officially plug so here is a shameless plug. http://www.newtownra...er-scout-81614/ thx 4 shoutboxing chanson/burdrulz/t-junk u guys r serious sweethearts.

[ajzthisisdumb 857]

I love the mixtape idea, one of the few things I enjoy more than making dumb comments about podcasts is talking about music

[ajzthisisdumb 857]

 

Okay let’s do a practice run. This mix is gonna be called ‘Dead Man’s Curve.’ Post a cool song that you think should be on a mix with a title – ‘Dead Man’s Curve.’

 

https://soundcloud.c...ts/fast-as-fuck

because I am taking the title of this challenge absolutely literally I will go with one of my favorite songs from one of my top 20 favorite bands, "She's Lost Control" by Joy Division

[skizelo 2536]

I'm listening to RSS #25 and the boys are trying their hardest to get the a place in Bret's band.

[Joe McGurl 8358]

 

Okay let’s do a practice run. This mix is gonna be called ‘Dead Man’s Curve.’ Post a cool song that you think should be on a mix with a title – ‘Dead Man’s Curve.’

 

https://soundcloud.c...ts/fast-as-fuck

 

 

This song reminds me of Halloween, so you know that it's really spooky and maybe a little scary to listen to it but it's a fucking cracker and The Joy Formidable are aces.

[Casaba 5942]

 

Anastasia, is that your real name? Are you really a girl? Do you really have a pirate kitty? As for the photo thing, I post photos on my Tumblr, then copy the photo location and post it using the little polaroid icon.

 

 

Hi Valerie! Anastasia is my real name, and I am really a real live girl. I wish I had this pirate kitty. He belongs to a boy in Kyrgyzstan who apparently loves to dress his cat up for cat shows.

 

 

Thanks for the hot photo posting tips!

[Casaba 5942]

 

Okay let’s do a practice run. This mix is gonna be called ‘Dead Man’s Curve.’ Post a cool song that you think should be on a mix with a title – ‘Dead Man’s Curve.’

 

https://soundcloud.c...ts/fast-as-fuck

 

Whoa! I missed all the fun last night. If you are still taking suggestions, I have two:

 

Oh wait, here's a third:

[burdrulz 1760]

because I am taking the title of this challenge absolutely literally I will go with one of my favorite songs from one of my top 20 favorite bands, "She's Lost Control" by Joy Division

 

 

I was thinking about doing that one too!!!

 

So I wanted to try and take it a different route. I wanted to imagine scoring a scene to something, maybe it's driving related maybe it isn't, but I thought it could be gnarly to imagine a narrative in my head centered around 'dead mans curve' and then provide the song to score that narrative. So here is the song I chose ma bruvs.

 

Plus I wanted to change it up a bit, hopefully you're not too offended and I get kicked out of the club.

 

Fuck you guys!!!!

 

https://soundcloud.com/erasedtapes/rival-consoles-odyssey

[burdrulz 1760]

 

Whoa! I missed all the fun last night. If you are still taking suggestions, I have two:

 

Oh wait, here's a third:

 

 

These are all fucking choiceeeeeeeeeee

 

Thank you for answering VBs questions about your gender and pet situation. Also thank you for providing evidence that you are in fact, cool.

[ajzthisisdumb 857]

 

Whoa! I missed all the fun last night. If you are still taking suggestions, I have two:

 

Oh wait, here's a third:

Mistfits yeeeeaaahhhhhhh

[greggy 15909]

i cant find anything that fits well, but this song kind of has the 'feel', tho its more of an interlude