Episode 55 — Lauren Lapkus, Our Close Friend

[ajzthisisdumb 857]

this is cool

 

 

can you speak on the first time you met each other?

 

 

 

or the first time you met Engineer Cody

[mwn 5470]

Dear hosts,

 

Is it racist to call someone a chowderhead? Also, how DID the movie 88 Minutes with Al Pacino get made? Other podcasts I shall not name have left me wanting.

[takehomejoke 670]

Hayzie Bone: Why is Sean the greatest influence on your career?

 

Clem Dawg: Who do you feel prouder about mentoring: Hayes or Engineer Cody Boy?

 

Both: Is Scott Anchorman is a mean boss?

[Joe McGurl 8358]

I have a two part question.

 

Part one - Sean and Hayes, Who is your favorite person who posts on the forums every week and why is it Joe McGurl?

 

Part two - Who is your least favorite person who posts on the forums every week and why is it Tim Treese?

[Casaba 5942]

Hayzie, has your mismatched hair and beard been a benefit or detriment to your success and popularity? Follow up: Speak on that.

 

Clem, Is kitties is movies? If not, why do I watch them all the time?

[takehomejoke 670]

Sean and Hayes: is it rude of greggy to always like his own posts, or just cutting edge?

[OcterDoctopus 1079]

ask us ANYTHING AT ALL that you have ever wanted to know but we will pick the best ones and only use those.

You guys used to read a bunch of my questions a lot in the past. Nowadays, not so much. I get the sneaking suspicion that I can be a little to chatty when I'm setting up and framing my question. Still, I think my questions can be hard-hitting and cut right to the heart of the matter. Like on the Ellie Kemper episode, for example. Why do you guys hate me now?

[Joe McGurl 8358]

Side note: 302 posts is the number to beat for the most posts...we're close. Let's get this shit DONE

[takehomejoke 670]

Question for Sean Hayes, if he even shows up:

 

That new Amazon phone isn't selling very well. What's up with that?

[Charlie Murphy Brown 4977]

To Whom It May Be Concerning,

 

As hilarious as it was and remains to this day, is not the premise behind Reality Show Show, and its offshoots like your Joel McHales and Ryan Seacrests and Nick Latchkeys, isn't that whole "Hey it's important to act like this is important" thing just some marketers wet dream to push ratings and sales, while taking focus away from the creative catalysts and visionary content providers such as you two, Ferrell, Franco, McBride, Lena Dunham and Jesse Camp?

 

If you each could speak on that, and does it ultimately effect the direction you'll be taking with the Handbook?

 

Thank You both. Apart from Bo Jackson, you guys are the best

[mwn 5470]

To host: Where is Thumbkin?? I tried this joke when Paul F. Tompkins was a guest and it didn't get read, but I still think it's a funny question. It's like, damn, remember being a kid. Those were the days. Simpler times. Some days I wish I could go back there, you know? Fewer responsibilities, living day by day, without the weight of the world dragging me down. Just skipping stones in the crick and playing cobs and robbers with the neighborhood kids until well past sundown. No pressure to Do The Big Project at work or make some grandkids for the parents, who are being outwardly patient but you can tell internally that they're not happy that their eldest son is doing so poorly out there, romantically. God, I just want to eat ants on a log again, and not have to look at the widening rust spots forming on the underside of my car, making some kind of metaphor about the state of my life in general. Nothing has that magic shine anymore. The nights are getting longer and the days are getting colder. They're always getting colder. Anyway, excited to hear what you think about Thumbkinm.

[RyanWright 713]

you guys have all been asking for a long time why you always have to hear so much about the guests on the show and never anything about us and our personal experiences.

 

well this week is a special episode where we ourselves are the guests and you guys write the interview questions and we ask them to each other.

 

ask us ANYTHING AT ALL that you have ever wanted to know but we will pick the best ones and only use those.

 

Christmas has come early this year!

 

1. Hayes, are you going to be the best man at Sean's wedding?

2. Between the two of you, who would win in a fight?

3. What is YOUR favorite episode/segment/guest?

4. How big of a donation to earwolf would it take to hang out with you guys?

5. I've listened to so many hours of RSS and HH that I feel like we are actually friends.

Will you come to my birthday party?

 

Please validate my existence

[greazey_bob 166]

For Hayes: What number is Sean thinking of right now?

 

For Sean: Which of you has a better sneaker game? Who wears a hat the best?

 

For you both: what is the most hardcore blue collar thing you've ever done? i.e. dig a ditch, fix a toilet, milk a cow

 

For engineer: Hosts be all like trippin' right?

[halfman 11]

Hayes: Is Michael Peterson a good daddy?

Sean: Most hamburger sandwiches that you have eaten in one day?

[greggy 15909]

whats your guyses favorite podcast?

 

where do you get your funny ideas?

 

where do you see yourselfs in 5, 10, and 20 years?

 

who si your dream guest for your show?

[robinsbruce 4985]

I dont have any questions. I just really like you guys. And you forum peoples. This is fun and nice.

[Scooby Donkers 1514]

OK OK am I too late already? That shouldn't count as a question BTW.

 

1) Sincere question (don't know if these are welcome, but I've been working on expressing myself directly w/o a protective screen of humor-ish nonsense keeping me at a safe distance): can you guys talk about the joys and difficulties of a career in commercial creativity? Is it hard to maintain creative discipline & do your own personal work in addition to your paid work? Do you have anything left in the tank for your own creative pursuits after working on jokes all day? Is it tough to do this show sometimes as a result?

 

2) pseudo-joke question (still a little sincere): talking funny--speak on that. Is funny talking just a cop out? You're both good at it. Does that count as legit humor? I love funny talking. Does that mean I have tacky taste in comedy? Does that matter?

 

3) hilarious joke question: how have your personal, psychological difficulties informed your work as professional humorists?

 

Boy oh boy I don't have "it" today you guys. Posting funny stuff is hard. So I opted to go a different route w my questions. Didn't quite work out but that's okay

[Scooby Donkers 1514]

You guys I dunno how to quote shit from my phone browser, but scroll up to find a very solid humor post from mwn, the one w/ specific questions not adequately answered by certain other podcasts

[NiceDad43 86]

dear sean and hayes, sometimes when i'm reading the splitsider website i hear them and see them talk about the cool kids/comedy nerd tables and how they keep shy introspective people like dane cook down, and i was wondering if you had any advice for how to find the cool nerd jock club comedy table and club and how to join it, and even if you know how cool jocks and nerds came to get along at the comedy table in the first place, i thought jocks hates nerds, science, and the avengers but shows what i know, it's been a while since i smelled that public school hall smell (sometimes i drop off less fortunate children to public schools as a community service but am taking an "extended summer" this year, along with them)

 

this is advice is for my son Antonio, thank you

[alargebucket 1589]

For both sirs: Why do your International Movie Database profiles not include the wide variety of consultant, punch-up, production and directorial work that has defined your careers? Do you guys not have IMDb Pro accounts?

 

Sean, how have you had such wild success in Hollywood without the requisite Harvard education and charmed upbringing that Hayes has relied upon? Are you a member of the Illuminati?

[Charlie Murphy Brown 4977]

Joe McGhoul said we have to top 302. Do you think Hayes just came up with the ask a question ploy to bust the old record? That's smart if he did. But hopefully they will do a question off so we can get to the bottom of these pressing issues. You know what they say, at the end of the day, win or lose, it's how you play the fiddler that counts, Bruce Dern it all to helloween

[kneisage 2108]

Oh yeah I have a couple questions I have been meaning to ask H+S:

• is there anything you need?
  
• Anything I can get you?
  
• Like a water or something?
  
• Soda?
  
• You sure?
  
• [more of a statement but...] Ok! Let me know if I can get you anything
  
• Is your intern Cool or Not Cool
  

 

thank you

[kobthatreal 5896]

Hayes and Sean, can you plzplzplzplzplz tell me what Cody is doing right now? Does he have a twinkle in his eyes? Cause that might actually be electricity and not light reflecting off of them. Plz be careful, make sure he doesn't hear this... Oh no.. Is it too late?

[Fatty2Dicks 694]

O BLOCK. BANG BANG. ONCE AGAIN. U KNOW WHAT TIME IT IS.

[kobthatreal 5896]

http://youtube.com/watch?v=QFEhJfUcD1Q