Episode 59 — Paul Scheer, Our Close Friend

[honlads 8798]

I have also never Popcorn Gallery'd, but that is only because my questions are always bad.

[burdrulz 1760]

Is this a good time to mention I bought Orange Crushes for everyone? Let's have a picnic. Assblaster can bring sandies.

 

 

I brought the Capri Suns...

 

Wait a minute, this isn't a picnic at all? This is the half time breakdown of my childhood soccer game... You're all here too. Chanson is the goalie right?

 

Chanson, this isn't a dis to you, you just seem like the kind of dude that would yell at your defense to be better, however provide them with inspirational quips now and again.

 

tough love kind of guy... That's what a 'keeper' does my man

[Spunky Foonerism 8561]

I just went to the trouble of creating an apple id for the specific purpose of rating and warning people about this podcast, and I submitted it on iTunes and the review didn't even show up! I don't know if apple has people individually vet all the reviews in case people are writing troll things or are reviewing podcasts that they haven't even listened to. I can understand that, but I deliberately didn't use any cusses for that exact reason, and I have listened to the podcast. I'm going to give it another couple minutes before I really freak out, because maybe their computers are just slow. Yeah RIGHT! It's motherfucking APPLE COMPUTERS, I think they probably have really fast computers! This is bullshit, and now I'm going to stop playing on the computer for a while and go get some fresh air. I'm not mad at any of you, I'm sorry if it seemed that way.

[burdrulz 1760]

Thanks for the support on my sandwich guys. Theres a girl with blue hair that works at my school any tips on talking to her?

 

You could pretend to like cool 'alt' things like girls with different color hair. Maybe you could reference the 90s... Characters in movies like Hackers or 'the fifth element' or possibly even 'run lola run'.

[burdrulz 1760]

 

It is a running joke between my students and me that I live at school. I do have a house though outside of school.

 

I tried to ride a dirt bike once when I was about 13 and fucked up my leg (hey look-a traumatic experience growing up!) so a Harley is not for me. My car is not a sports car, but it IS pretty fast and badass and cool

 

Can we guess what it is, if you haven't said so already?

 

I guess..... Datsun car

[burdrulz 1760]

 

Follow the natural progression. Ask her has she seen Vibes.

 

Thank you for this

[chanson 9697]

I made some art to show I'm like a burger ho and not like a chanson

 

 

It is still unclear how this proves you are not like a me.

 

For someone who has some kind of legal education I'm quite disappointed in your ability to prove a succinct point. And if, as some say, pictures say a thousand words then you have throughly wasted a thousand words and should be ashamed of yourself. Unless you were just being mean, in which case, job done.

 

Love you, bye.

[ajzthisisdumb 857]

 

Can we guess what it is, if you haven't said so already?

 

I guess..... Datsun car

unfortunately it is not a convertible drop top datsun

[kobthatreal 5896]

U should just skip her and go straight to the source and bone her dad let him give u that sweet DD. Dat Dad D.

[ajzthisisdumb 857]

U should just skip her and go straight to the source and bone her dad let him give u that sweet DD. Dat Dad D.

while watching "Diners, Drive-Ins, and Dives"-Dat DDDDD

[ajzthisisdumb 857]

while watching "Diners, Drive-Ins, and Dives"-Dat DDDDD

on the Day of the Dead--Dat DDDDDDD

[ajzthisisdumb 857]

on the Day of the Dead--Dat DDDDDDD

while playing dungeons and dragons with Dennis Duffy from 30 rock--Dat DDDDDDDDDDD

[showshowbro 1177]

Next thing you know, he’ll be calling you daddy.

 

That’s when you sign her up for swimming lessons.

 

Now she’s super wet, only the chlorine is turning her hair green and you’re not into that.

 

But I am.

 

So I tell her about my hog and she’s like can you do a wheelie??

 

And I’m like

 

If you do a wheelie for 9 blocks they call it a shoshobro.

[greggy 15909]

U should just skip her and go straight to the source and bone her dad let him give u that sweet DD. Dat Dad D.

i know i already did this once this week but

 

lol

[Assblaster(truly_blessed) 125]

Idk the rules or if I'll get banned for this but this is what she looks like

As you can see shes pretty much perfect, and wears like early 2000s goth boots.

My biggest concerns are if I'm going to have to listen to her talk about really shitty bands (I hope that doesn't come across as sexist), and apparently how I'm gonna meet and seduce her Dad.

[showshowbro 1177]

lol. i'll be back in ten minutes. i gotta go snap some pics of all the co-workers i have a crush on.

[Spunky Foonerism 8561]

You should make sure that her hair is that color on purpose, because it might be a sore subject. I knew some swimmer chicks and their hair turned greenish blue from chlorine overexposure. I'm not saying that's what happened here, but it might have been a chemical accident, maybe like what happened to the Joker, so better safe than sorry. In fact, she might be a villain, which is hot at first but you should think twice about a long-term thing.

 

ETA Also, sometimes girls dress like hot goths to trick you into dating them. One girl did that to me, and she wasn't a goth AT ALL, she was just a regular hot girl in a goth outfit. Now we're married, so...watchout.

[robinsbruce 4985]

I un-ironically really like where this thread is going

[Casaba 5942]

Is this like the photos of our dads thing? Are we now all posting photos of the crushes we stalk?

[Spunky Foonerism 8561]

Is this like the photos of our dads thing? Are we now all posting photos of the crushes we stalk?

It's not like the dad-photos thing, because nobody actually did that, whereas we are at one and counting on the secret crush stalker photos.

[robinsbruce 4985]

WE TOTES SAW SOME IRL D THO

[cameronobrian 98]

It's not like the dad-photos thing, because nobody actually did that, whereas we are at one and counting on the secret crush stalker photos.

During my lurker only phase, I was lucky enough to see some serious D

[greggy 15909]

wait did the turkey hotline say to post her picture on the internet? those ladies done fell off

[showshowbro 1177]

....i think i'm jus gonna snap pictures of everu cute girl i see on my commute home and then you guys can discuss which one i should marry.

[kobthatreal 5896]

This is getting verrrry "one hour photo" in here. Did yall see that movie? Robin Williams is a freakin creep he creeps me out gimme the creeps in my sheets follow me through the night and he creeps in my sleeps I weep and I weep save me dear please I can say it again the dude is a creep!!!!