Mortdecai (2015)

[Bob Drillboids 181]

I know new films are rarely done, but this one seems absolutely deserving. FWIW, it has the exact same godawful RT score (13%) as the last still-in-theaters film they did (Winter's Tale). I initially heard about it through Joe Mande's tweets and finally watched the trailer today and, good lord, what utter garbage.

[Lando 2019]

This movie looks like it wouldn't be fun to watch at all. There's something about a bad comedy that is worse than bad drama/action/etc.

[WayneMiller 37]

Just watched the trailer, and I concur. As an English person, I find it pretty offensive, really.... Just bloody awful! Ghastly, in fact....

 

 

There's no actual way to tell what the movie's about... Upper class twit (of the year) Johnny Depp goes to LA, and.... er.... hilarity ensues?

[Bob Drillboids 181]

This movie looks like it wouldn't be fun to watch at all. There's something about a bad comedy that is worse than bad drama/action/etc.

 

Oh come on. I agree that it wouldn't be a "fun" viewing in the way that Fast 5 or Crank is fun, but there's also value in a good old fashioned hate-watching. Let's not forget that Old Dogs was one of the primary inspirations for this beloved podcast, and it's an insufferably bad comedy.

[RyanSz 3140]

It also seems to pull humor from the Love Guru as Paul Bettany's character is literally named Jock Strapp.

[sillstaw 414]

I find it odd how Johnny Depp keeps making movies where he plays "quirky" characters, even though they all keep flopping. The international grosses must be amazing.

 

And this movie... Literally, the only selling point I could discern from the trailers and posters was "Johnny Depp has a funny mustache!" Is it any wonder the movie is reportedly bombing hard?

[RyanSz 3140]

Well remember that The Tourist flopped in the states making 67 million but internationally it made nearly four times that, at around 210 million. The same is true for Transendance (23 US to 80 World), Lone Ranger (89 US to 171 World), and Dark Shadows (79 US to 165 World). The only one that has been a total flop recently was The Rum Diary which barely got back half its production budget. I will be would not be surprised if this does well overseas as the series it is based on is well respected in Europe, but the idea that a hipster mustache can sell a multi-million dollar movie is quite preposterous.

[sillstaw 414]

Well, admittedly "Transcendence"* and "The Lone Ranger" barely made more than they cost to produce, and when you factor in the costs of advertising, both movies could easily still be called flops. It'll be interesting to see if "Mortdecai" does play in Europe; even considering the books are popular there, I think comedies have difficulty translating into other languages. (Though given that the film seems to be mostly physical comedy, maybe it'll work. I'm arguing with myself now.)

 

Also worth discussing, maybe: This awful tweet from the movie's official Twitter. I don't think I've seen something so tasteless associated with a movie's official Twitter account since the time "Olympus Has Fallen" favorited a tweet about wanting to kill Asians.

 

* I seem to be in the minority in that I saw "Transcendence" and didn't totally hate it. It's nothing special, but the negative reviews it got seemed a bit much.

[Bob Drillboids 181]

Mind you don't cut yourself, Mortdecai.

[Blast Hardcheese 636]

I went to the Patton Oswalt book signing at Powell's Books last night, and he mentioned that, as an upcoming guest, he is really going to be petitioning to get this movie reviewed on HDTGM. So, huzzah!

 

Also: Am I'm I the only person who can't stand Olivia Munn, who co-stars in this film? Yeah, she's easy on the eyes, but she can't act, isn't funny and has that whole fake nerd T&A act that I find pandering and grating.

[RyanSz 3140]

Olivia Munn has been pretty polarizing in regards to her nerdiness after working for G4. After listening to the Indoor Kids for years whenever her name is brought up by former employees they either fall into one of two camps, either she was a diva who mimicked other women on the channel to come off as nerdy/tech savvy or she was a hard worker who was sincere about who she was and acknowledged the channel was a stepping stone towards something more.

[Blast Hardcheese 636]

Olivia Munn has been pretty polarizing in regards to her nerdiness after working for G4. After listening to the Indoor Kids for years whenever her name is brought up by former employees they either fall into one of two camps, either she was a diva who mimicked other women on the channel to come off as nerdy/tech savvy or she was a hard worker who was sincere about who she was and acknowledged the channel was a stepping stone towards something more.

 

Yeah, but does she even still do nerdy/tech-y stuff anymore?

[MichaelBrown 9]

I agree Blast. Beautiful but useless.

The first time I saw a preview for this movie, I was confused. It looked like a silly kids movie. But the ad was during an Adult Swim show. I was thinking to myself, "There is no way this movie is rated R, it would have no audience. It must be based on a book or old TV show. Because it's presented like you already know him."

But the previews do not made me want to read the books though.

[RyanSz 3140]

 

Yeah, but does she even still do nerdy/tech-y stuff anymore?

She was the cover story of Popular Mechanics last month or the month before so she still goes back to the well.

[Blast Hardcheese 636]

I agree Blast. Beautiful but useless.

 

Here, here!

 

She was the cover story of Popular Mechanics last month or the month before so she still goes back to the well.

 

Oh, for the love of... Give me Kerry Byron (smart, funny, tough as nails) over this opportunist poseur any day of the week.

[taylor anne photo 11311]

This movie definitely needs to be on this show because you take one look at it and ask the name of the show! How did this shit get made!?

 

Also on the Olivia Munn topic; Just because someone doesn't consistently stick to one subject or talk about something non-stop doesn't mean that they are a fake. That being said... I can not stand this woman ahaha. I have also heard many many people from G4 talk about how she treated them like they were less than her. She just doesn't seem like a very respectable person.

[RyanSz 3140]

Yeah that was a common thread concerning her, especially in relation to other female talent on the channel, yet she received a bunch of praise from another group on the Indoor Kids episode about the closure of G4. Overall it seemed very clique-ish on the channel in regards to people's viewpoints on each other.

[Quasar Sniffer 4174]

I saw this movie. *sigh* As much as I adore this wonderful cast, who carry themselves with great fun, this movie just does not work. I love a good farce, but what unites all of them, from the Pink Panther films to Gambit to Mel Brooks movies to The Princess Bride, is that they have solid JOKES. Some have complex plots and twists, some are just excuses to be silly, but they all had solid comedy behind all of that. This movie needed a screenplay with punchlines not involving mustaches and a director who knew that.

[Blast Hardcheese 636]

I guess my problem with Olivia Munn is the same problem I have with anyone cashing-in on the whole "nerds are cool now" trend. She didn't put in her time or pay her dues. She was just handed a position at G4 based on her appearance, not her established knowledge or reverence for the culture.

 

G4 seemed like Munn's gateway to stardom, and not a lifestyle she was sincerely invested in. Yeah, she looks great in a Leia bikini, but there's always been something pandering and manufactured about her. I'm not at all surprised that she was a total diva while at G4 or hooked her wagon to a professional football player.

[PlanBFromOuterSpace 3138]

I guess my problem with Olivia Munn is the same problem I have with anyone cashing-in on the whole "nerds are cool now" trend. She didn't put in her time or pay her dues. She was just handed a position at G4 based on her appearance, not her established knowledge or reverence for the culture.

That sounds more like G4's fault then all the way. Whether or not she knew her shit, they knew that they needed some sex appeal to try to get some more attention, which kind of makes them guiltier than she personally was for pandering/trying to appeal more to the mainstream. She may have gotten noticed via some other outlet had the G4 gig not come along, but it seemed like there she was a big fish in a small pond as far as marketable female personalities go, so she was able to ride that into the ground. Also, the geek culture is known for taking itself way too seriously when no one else does, so it sounds like sour grapes when people I haven't heard of criticize a former co-worker for not earning their success through a genuine passion for the product, which is hardly anything new or unique. They might talk about their G4 experiences for the rest of their careers, while Munn can probably go the rest of her career without ever mentioning G4 or having to explain what that was.

 

Speaking of the geek culture being entirely too wrapped up in their own shit, I was stunned when "Dark Knight Rises" was practically filming in my backyard a few years back ("Captain America: Winter Soldier" was pretty close to me too) and my local comic store crew couldn't give less of a damn. I used to work there, so I know that these people will debate those movies for hours on end and get super into the books and games, but here they were presented with an opportunity to get involved, to be IN the movie or get to work on it in some capacity, and they ignored it. I've never truly understood the mentality, and every time I thought I was close, I just felt myself descending into madness...

[JamesBundtrock 3]

We had a movie marathon which we watched in this order; Maps to the stars, wedding ringer and then Mortdecai. Sad to say we saved the best for last. I actually enjoyed Mortdecai but not sure if it was due to the first two stinkers.

[God Damn Monkey 2]

When I saw the trailer for this I shrugged it off, thinking

"Depp has kids. Lots of celebs make movies that their kids will like."

 

But this movie is Rated R

So I have no idea how this one got made.

[Bugs Meany 69]

When I saw the trailer for this I shrugged it off, thinking

"Depp has kids. Lots of celebs make movies that their kids will like."

But this movie is Rated R

So I have no idea how this one got made.

And it didn't even earn the R! I think it barely cleared the two-"fuck" bar.

 

I watched this only as a Gwyneth Paltrow completist. I really hope it's not the reason Pepper Potts wasn't in the Avengers sequel.

 

This is quietly one of the most baffling movies in recent memory. Who is this for? Johnny Depp has been in blatant paycheck mode for years, but why did Paltrow, Ewan McGregor, Paul Bettany and Jeff Goldblum sign on?

 

There was a really great Vulture post trying to figure all this out.

 

What the Hell Is Mortdecai?

[God Damn Monkey 2]

I really hope it's not the reason Pepper Potts wasn't in the Avengers sequel.

 

 

I love the idea that Paltrow turned down Age of Ultron because she was already committed to this turd.

"Sorry Joss, Depp needs me"

 

unfortunately Paul Bettany was in both movies. So I doubt that was the case.

[Anonymous Coward 57]

I think the movie looked slick and fun, like, it would've been more watch-able as a silent film. Johnny Depp and Gwyneth come across as irritating from start to finish... and maybe it's that dialogue, which would be fun and sharp to read in a book, but unrealistic and stupid coming from actual peoples mouths in a movie.

 

It's bad, but mostly because it tricked you into thinking it was going to be a fun romp.