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JulyDiaz

Episode 102.5 — Minisode 102.5

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Just judging from the trailer, it looks like someone watched "El Topo" and "The Holy Mountain" and said "Maybe I should do something like that." Not saying that that's necessarily the case, or that it would even be a bad thing if it were. It looks interesting and full of all kinds of weird.

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Zardoz looks nuts.

 

As far as "Face/Off" goes, you guys do good movies: Fast Five, Crank, Crank 2, Punisher: Warzone, Demolition Man. They're not award winning films, but they are fun as fuck and we love them because they're so over the top. Face/Off, IMHO, falls into the former category.

 

Is Jason saying that Face/Off is over the top crazy action good, or does he mean legit good? Does e mean "Schindler's List" good, or "The Last Boyscout" good?

 

P.S. You should do "The Last Boyscout." It's the best "over the top action film" ever, IMHO. Shane Black on the typewriter. Tony Scott (RIP) behind the camera, giving direction. Bruce Willis killing and taunting bad guys the whole fucking time. He even tells a "yo mama's so fat" joke to a guy who's about to execute him.

It's awesome. And somebody dies via falling into the blades of a helicopter. At the Superbowl! It's nuts.

 

 

Face/Off is an amazing/terrible movie. One of my favorite things in the world is a discussion where Patrice O'neal first defends and than realizes mid conversation how garbage the movie is.

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what the fu....

 

zardoz.jpg

 

I wish I could say I'm not gonna jerk off to this...

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I started watching this movie.

 

WTF.

 

The first image is a disembodied head bouncing around like some type of screensaver while telling me that I will be watching his story which is set in the future and didn't happen yet.

 

Also, he apparently fell asleep right before this scene because someone drew on his face in magic market.

 

Did you finish? I am taking it in stages. After the "Eternals" sat around watching him rape the same woman on the beach for about the 15th time I felt it was time to move on to lighter fare. So far all I can say is: "yes," it is weird, "yes," it is bonkers, but, from what I've seen, it is also pretty boring and distasteful.

 

Also, Connery in the diaper is funny for about a minute until it just becomes sad. After a while he becomes just a creepy middle-aged man in a diaper with his hairy, middle-aged man skin jiggling around. So much jiggling...

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Just judging from the trailer, it looks like someone watched "El Topo" and "The Holy Mountain" and said "Maybe I should do something like that." Not saying that that's necessarily the case, or that it would even be a bad thing if it were. It looks interesting and full of all kinds of weird.

speaking of Jodorowksy, they should definitely do one of his movies. as much as I adore everything he's done (Santa Sangre is probably my favorite), his films are arguably on the level of Zardoz and Xanadu when it comes to absurdity and lack of plot.

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I don't want to spend 2-3 bucks on this movie. Just like most of the movies lately... I mean... if Paul's gonna bitch at us about "its a free podcast!"... then read ads to us.... he should pick movies from Crackle.... "its free movies!"... but we have to see ads.

 

Unlike a lot of HDTGM movies. I would sort of agree with you but this is one of those movies you should just blind buy at amazon on dvd or blu-ray what ever. You'll thank me tomorrow. I hate to sound like James Lipton here or Jim Cramer, BUY it BUY it BUY it!!

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Is Jason just a dumb-dumb?

 

When he mentioned the rarely-remembered Double Trouble featuring Katey Sagal's hot-ass redhead twin sisters, I saw just another facet of his genius-osity, but to hear that he is single-handedly stopping this podcast from reaching the upper echelon of greatness by vetoing Face/Off was just too much? C'mon, Beardy McJerksAlot... get with the program! Face/Off is THE film this podcast was made for. It must be done!!!!

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I am 46 minutes into Zardoz...1 hr to go...not sure if I'm going to make it.

I'm 5 minutes in and I don't know if I'm going to make it.

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speaking of Jodorowksy, they should definitely do one of his movies. as much as I adore everything he's done (Santa Sangre is probably my favorite), his films are arguably on the level of Zardoz and Xanadu when it comes to absurdity and lack of plot.

 

Jodorowsky absolutely deserves to be reviewed by the HDTGM gang. Everything he's done looks expensive and/or tedious, and has an anticipated limited audience. I genuinely believe that his films are valuable, but it's hard to explain why. As a bonus, Zouks would probably find plenty of stuff to jerk off to.....

 

milk.jpg

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Well, you could still SAY you're not going to...

 

Genius, fucking genius!

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I have finished Zardoz. I just find it a slog. Yes, plenty of weird stuff (jazz hand aging, that ENDING, mud wrestling soft core porn) but it just wasn't fun. The first time I finished watching The Room I immediately watched it again because I could not believe what I saw. I NEVER want to watch this again.

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I have finished Zardoz. I just find it a slog. Yes, plenty of weird stuff (jazz hand aging, that ENDING, mud wrestling soft core porn) but it just wasn't fun. The first time I finished watching The Room I immediately watched it again because I could not believe what I saw. I NEVER want to watch this again.

 

I 100% agree with you, Bride! I just finished it this morning and while I appreciate why some may like it and it's place in the pantheon of bad movies, I simply cannot get behind it. It was like sitting in a bar with a pretentious first year college student and listen to him drunkenly drone on and on about random things he somehow managed to glean in Philosophy 101 and Intro to English Literature.

 

What I feel the movie lacks is the sense of joy and naivete that comes from movies like The Room or Birdemic. When a bad movie is made from such a place of--I guess you'd call it--"innocence," that joy is contagious and transcends its inherent shittiness. Zardoz, on the other hand, is so misanthropic, misogynistic, and handled so poorly, it felt like the cinematic equivalent of Connery describing to Barbara Walters why women sometimes need to get hit for an hour and forty-seven minutes.

 

However, that all being said, I don't necessarily regret watching it--and I really look forward to hearing what Paul, June, and Jason have to say--I just doubt I will be revisiting Zardoz ever again.

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While I agree about the slogginess, I think the first five minutes is essential HDGTM viewing, if only for the "The gun is good! THE PENIS IS EVIL" speech. After you've experienced that DVD-player screen saver intro and the speech, I think you could let Paul, June, Jason, and Whoever walk you through the rest.

 

....Well, maybe you could wait until he kills Zardoz. That happens soon enough.

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I own this movie. I don't know how, or why, but I have a copy of the DVD in my possession.

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I don't know about that. because we all know the book in Eli is and it's not the one in Zardoz, don't spoil it for others.

If any movie is even close to being a remake of Zardoz and there are a lot of movies that have stolen parts of zardoz.

 

Spoiler so don't click on my link if you have not seen this movie, i warned you.

The Nicolas cage movie "

" has a tribute to zardoz in it. it's been on many tv shows over the years too. as I love the music to that film beethoven 7th.

 

BTW I watched this movie for the first time in 20 years everyone. walking around saying ZARDOZ!!!

i so love this movie.

 

and so a man has a theory, he writes and shares this theory down with others and so one day it gets crushed, one day by the others. This is the first movie done in the 1970s for How Did This Get Made. up on tell now we have yet to have seen a movie prior to the 80's. This is the first 70's movie and it opens a Pandora's box of craziness.

 

Thank you Paul Scheer and happy birthday btw.

 

20ixts0.jpg

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I was half listening when I heard the line "the penis is evil." I had to rewind to be sure i heard it correctly. That was followed by a stone head vomiting guns. I thought okay this is going to be bonkers all the way through, but then it just got tedious. There were times I thought it was going to turn down some really dark road, but it didn't. On the positive side I think Charlotte Rampling looks so lovely in this and it is kind of creepy that she ends up with Sean Connery and his porny mustache.

 

I suspect June will find a great deal upsetting in the movie.

 

This would definitely be improved upon by Nicholas Cage's involvement.

 

Oh, and I remember really liking Face Off as well. I wouldn't think it would be eligible for HDTGM, but I saw it when it was first released. I would have to watch it again.

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Haven't seen the film but do you think Sache Baren Coen based Borat's Mankini on Connery's?

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I made another post about this, but, this movie needs to be watched with the commentary track on, its amazing!!

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so I just finished watching Zardoz....

 

I think I could better explain the plot of Winters Tale, and I didn't eve see that movie.

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Zardoz is a James Bond movie in which Bond took a shit-ton of LSD before we first see him.

 

He's dressed the way he subconsiously imagines himself - as incredibly masculine.

 

The stone head is Q. He gets his gadgets ("The gun is good!") and gets told not to fuck all the women ("The penis is evil!").

 

He then goes off on his mission, infiltrates a lair in an unusual vehicle, fucks someone and then causes a cataclysm so the lair is destroyed. Then fuck her again, and the final sequence is their relationship telescoping out in his mind.

 

All the clues are there. It's just as Ian Fleming wrote it.

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Well now I feel bad. I had said Kurt Russel had dislocated his shoulder in T&C based off my 24 year old memory. Someone else correctly pointed out it was a slipped disc, but I got all the credit!

 

Now I'm going to take a minute and defend Zardoz. There's hilariously insane stuff in there, but as far as 60s/70s sci fi movies go, it's not too much trippier than 2001 or Logan's Run.

 

As far as it not making sense, I thought it was a pretty obvious allegory of Western imperialism by proxy (first world countries arming native warlords to pillage as they please, as long as the bulk of the resources came back to them) and the younger generations fed up with the ruling class (praying for the older generation to just die off already). The driving force behind this imperialism? Good old fashioned Victorian sexual repression and Puritanism, where you can kill, enslave, and plunder all you want, but got forbid anyone take pleasure in sex.

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