EPISODE 106 — Deep Blue Sea: LIVE!

[xoValeriexo 4369]

Poor cold, shivering LL Cool J.

[PlanBFromOuterSpace 3138]

OMMISSION: Even if these three super-intelligent sharks escape into the wild... THEY'RE STILL JUST FUCKING SHARKS!!! They don't have opposable thumbs. There's only three of them. They don't have super-strength. They're only as hungry as any other shark, only as likely or unlikely to attack humans as any other shark, and only able to fit as many humans in their tum-tums as any other shark. So what, exactly, is the threat here?

 

I kind of brought that up in an earlier post as well. I mean, what are the stakes exactly? If these sharks want out, just let 'em the fuck out and be happy they aren't after YOU anymore, right? We don't see what happens afterwards when LL and Thomas Jane are rescued and Jane goes back to prison, because really, this con/ex-con is one of only two survivors of this big incident that left many dead, including the head of the damn company (or whatever Sam Jackson was), and millions of dollars of equipment destroyed and he's blaming it on SHARKS that have conveniently been vaporized? At least if the sharks were still out there somewhere, there'd be proof of that. And again, it's not like they're going to take over the world or anything. Let the professionals get them and just stay the fuck out of the ocean!

[Joven 373]

Well I think the fear was that they'd breed, and create a race of super-sharks that essentially take over the ocean. And if they can destroy a submarine base/research thing and have already demonstrated the first thing they do when they escape is to attack people on a boat, it means potentially the usefulness of the ocean as a means of commerce could end. Also, normal sharks rarely ever attack people, whereas these sharks really love to, so there goes any swimming in the ocean. Also its a slippery slope from Gen 1 > Gen 2 > Gen 3 > Jabberjaw, and no one wants that, its a legitimate threat, I'd say.

[JeddJong 50]

Also, on the matter of the ocean being haunted - I believe LL is referring to the souls of shark attack victims, rather than the souls of the sharks themselves. "I ate your ancestors/The ocean is haunted". Ghosts are generally thought of as the restless spirits of those who died in violent or unusual deaths. In this case, the ghosts are those of shark attack victims throughout the ages that haunt the ocean.

[PlanBFromOuterSpace 3138]

Well I think the fear was that they'd breed, and create a race of super-sharks that essentially take over the ocean. And if they can destroy a submarine base/research thing and have already demonstrated the first thing they do when they escape is to attack people on a boat, it means potentially the usefulness of the ocean as a means of commerce could end. Also, normal sharks rarely ever attack people, whereas these sharks really love to, so there goes any swimming in the ocean. Also its a slippery slope from Gen 1 > Gen 2 > Gen 3 > Jabberjaw, and no one wants that, its a legitimate threat, I'd say.

Gen 1 > Gen 2 > Gen 3 > Jabberjaw >>>>

 

[PlanBFromOuterSpace 3138]

ANY rap that has a first line that ends with "...and I'm here to say" is usually written for kids, for a Burger King training video, or for possibly the most misguided and out of touch promo I've ever seen, which I'll share with you all when I get back to my computer later...

And now, without further ado, the king of all bad "...and I'm here to say" raps...

[Joven 373]

And now, without further ado, the king of all bad "...and I'm here to say" raps...

 

Hmm, what came first, that or the Super Bowl Shuffle? because I'm pretty sure they're the same song.

[Cameron H. 23786]

I have to admit, one thing I thoroughly enjoyed in Deep Blue Sea was the amazing Foley work.

 

What does the sound of a shark eating sound like? Like a dog growling and flinging a toy around, of course! A thin needle being delicately injected into the brain? Well, we've got a rotten cantaloupe, don't we? We'll just have someone punch their fist through it a couple of times. But how do can we convey a shark smelling blood in the water? That's easy! Sharks have nostrils, don't they? We'll just record someone sniffing the air, as I am 100% certain that inhaling oxygen is how things are smelled underwater...

[firsttimecallerlongtimelistenr 3590]

But how do can we convey a shark smelling blood in the water? That's easy! Sharks have nostrils, don't they? We'll just record someone sniffing the air, as I am 100% certain that inhaling oxygen is how things are smelled underwater...

 

i was going to mention that but i just couldnt get my head around it. i honestly thought i was in a crazy deep blue haze or something when that shark sniffed. i even replayed it a few times to see and im still pretty sure that when saffron jumps into the water the shark stops breaking through the fence, pauses and then sniffs ... its like something from a cartoon when the old lady leaves a pie on the window sill and yogi bear or someone walks past ...

[Joven 373]

Not to mention the shark roaring, which ok they're super sharks that are genetically modified, maybe they can roar...but why can the crappy tiger shark at the beginning roar?

 

Speaking of...was that shark supposed to be food for the super sharks? If so, what was the point of kinda nursing it to health when they brought it in, and why did Carter look so surprised when the super sharks started tearing it apart?

[KevinMundt 3]

So... Deep Blue Sea has just been added to netflix #iluminati #insidejob

[PlanBFromOuterSpace 3138]

 

 

Hmm, what came first, that or the Super Bowl Shuffle? because I'm pretty sure they're the same song.

Oh, they're totally the same for sure, and I grew up in the Chicagoland area, so I had to endure that for years. Also prior to this time, I think the WWF's Piledriver album had happened, so this bit by the AWA was possibly a mash-up/car crash of the two. Vern Gagne, the senior citizen rapping at the end, was never that great at copying trends. I love the bits where the background noise gets blown out in the parts where it's non-wrestlers talking.

[Smigg 1488]

So... Deep Blue Sea has just been added to netflix #iluminati #insidejob

 

Which reminds me of my "Smigg, you dumbass" moment last week, LL Cool J is in another movie called "In Too Deep", which is on Netflix UK, I watched 15 minutes of it, and wondered where the fuck the sharks were, before realising it was a completely different film.

 

Although, that's not as bad as something that happened where I live, where parents took their kids to watch Madagascar 3, and the staff fucked up, and put on Paranormal Activity 4.

 

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2222366/Paranormal-Activity-4-instead-Madagascar-3-shown-screaming-children-bungling-cinema-staff.html

[Cameron H. 23786]

Speaking of...was that shark supposed to be food for the super sharks? If so, what was the point of kinda nursing it to health when they brought it in, and why did Carter look so surprised when the super sharks started tearing it apart?

 

Yes. Yes it was. Which is why PFT said "Who cares?" if it has a license plate stuck in its mouth. He does this whole death defying, daring-do, aquafrolic to get it out of its mouth for absolutely no good reason. It's kind of like, why does he need to be underwater to watch the shark's feed? That doesn't make sense...

 

And speaking of being underwater, when Carter is corralling the largest shark (which we are told later weighs 8000lbs), he removes his SCUBA gear, breath mask, and tranquilizes the shark? Okay...fine, I'll buy that, but the next thing you know he is rising dramatically from the wet lab floor with this massive shark strapped down to this platform. My question is, how did he get it there? I certainly didn't see an elaborate pulley mechanism nearby, and if they did have one, no one at HQ should be surprised to see him. Are we being led to believe that Carter grabbed this shark by its tail and hauled 4 tons of dead weight all the way to the lab? With that kind of innate strength Carter should have been punching these sharks out left and right!

[Beeps & Boops 35]

Thanks to Jason, I now have a new email signature:

 

Yowza!

Bite me,

Jason

[ParrotTalkBack 110]

 

BUT also; why did the sharks need to lower the fence when the one in the beginning escaped without doing that?

 

and why didn't they all just escape at the same time with the one in the beginning?

 

And Thomas Jane asked Rappaport to "do him a favor" and raise the fence another 4ft I think. So it doesn't sound like they did much to stop the rest of the sharks from escaping until he said that.

[sockpuppet 0]

Omissions: seriously I cannot believe you didn't notice that almost any scene where they are trying to get out of the water before a shark attack, Carter is always the last one still in the water, forcing everyone to turn and start yelling "Carter! Carter! Come on Carter!" It's so frequent that you could make a drinking game out of it.

 

Also, if they supposedly decided to make Preach the hero at the last minute, then how do you explain the fact that Carter was such a shitty, ineffective hero for the entire movie???

 

He doesn't have any real knowledge of the facility or the sharks themselves (he is constantly being informed about the facility or the scientific aspects of the sharks by the other characters).

They joke at or hint of a possible thing between him and Susan, but he doesn't even flirt or in any way fulfill the roll of a romantic hero.

He NEVER saves anyone's life, even though there are multiple scenes where he is reaching for or attempting to save someone from a shark. He does always manage to get away as they are being eaten, though.

BUT most importantly, he doesn't KILL A SINGLE SHARK!!! Susan 1, Priest 2, Carter a BIG FAT ZERO. Was Carter as the "hero" all just a misdirect?

 

My young children laughed all the way through this movie.

 

Love you guys, but seriously....hire a damned babysitter already. It's a couple of times a month.

[ParrotTalkBack 110]

I was certain someone would have brought up that the sharks decimate the "Enterprise view screen" in the shark lab by just tapping it with Stellar Skateboard, but can't get through the oven window!? For sure, I thought a giant underwater window would be constructed of thicker glass than a crappy man-sized oven that can be gutted with a hatchet.

 

I enjoyed watching this "so bad it's good" movie, but got really mad at all the Jaws references and the knockoff Jaws score in almost every scene. How dare you, Deep Blue Sea!? How dare you!?

[ParrotTalkBack 110]

Love you guys, but seriously....hire a damned babysitter already. It's a couple of times a month.

 

It's none of our business why any of the three can't make it to the taping, but I believe Paul mentions that June is in Florida, not just at home with Gus.

[jarrycanada 2483]

And now, without further ado, the king of all bad "...and I'm here to say" raps...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y1CRatikdWg

 

Holyshit, is that Jorge Garcia in that video montage, aka Hurley from lost.?

even talks like him too.

 

 

Day 34. LOL still no sign of June..

 

We should have an LL cool J style prayer for June..

[Servo Academy 16]

When Stellar Skateboard's character is airlifted out and the helicopter crashes, why isn’t a second rescue team sent out? I imagine the hospital or airport they are working for would wonder what happened to their rescue team. Was there no concern that they lost contact with their people? Where’s the rescue team for the rescue team?

 

 

It's like the second rescue ship in Aliens.

 

You know, except they're apparently about fifty miles off the coast of California.

[Quasar Sniffer 4174]

Hey, sending multiple rescue space missions across many light-years to the other end of the galaxy is one thing, but a helicopter off of coastal California to rescue a billionaire and a team of scientists? That is an inexcusable waste of resources

[PlanBFromOuterSpace 3138]

Holy shit, guys, I just remembered something I was going to ask before: What happens when everyone else comes back on Monday? I mean, we've already talked a lot about how emergency responders didn't show up even after other emergency responders had gone MISSING, so can we really expect that anyone's going to call the employees to give them the 4-1-1?

[faye-raye 109]

I thought they did! Isn't that the boat at the end? Aren't they the staff coming back and just being 'what did you DO?'

[PlanBFromOuterSpace 3138]

I thought they did! Isn't that the boat at the end? Aren't they the staff coming back and just being 'what did you DO?'

I don't remember. I haven't watched it in forever, and I thought it ended with LL and Jane clutching to wreckage and getting one last zinger or something.

 

Edit: Okay, I just brought it up on Netflix and watched the last minute or so, and you were right. Still, they beat the emergency responders there and apparently didn't see the mile-high fireballs a little while ago. Those guys got some 'splainin' to do!