EPISODE 112 — Jupiter Ascending

[starri 116]

Some of my favorite moments on HDTGM have involved Jason getting Donald Duck-level frustrated with something (the epic "*Where* *are* *the* *peas*!?!?!" being the perfect example), and considering how confounding this movie is, I figured we'd be in for that. And then it didn't happen. I think Jupiter Ascending may have broken him.

 

This did fix very firmly in my mind what the live episodes with PFT established: if one of them is missing, they need to bring in someone else to get the total up to four. The energy is just kind of off when there are only three.

[FisterRoboto 7499]

This did fix very firmly in my mind what the live episodes with PFT established: if one of them is missing, they need to bring in someone else to get the total up to four. The energy is just kind of off when there are only three.

 

It also helps when one of those people is someone really lively like PFT. Maybe it's just because he and Jason were on CBB together this week and were delightful, but I could listen to PFT and Zouks play off of one another basically forever.

 

I am respectful of opinions that are credible. You can enjoy this movie all you like, but this is not a debate.

 

And yet you somehow managed to completely ignore the "credible" opinion in the post you were responding to. As far as scope and aspiration goes, you could 100% compare this to Star Wars, which was the point being made. In the same way, you can compare (and the HDGTM crew did compare) the movie to The Matrix because it had many of the same themes.

 

As a total Star Wars fanboy, I was somewhat taken aback when they made the comparison, but it does make sense when you talk about the scope of the film and aspirations of the filmmakers. (On a related note, I also there's a really good comparison to be made between The Wachowskis and George Lucas as filmmakers.)

[MichaelBurton 80]

Did anyone see that a Jeopardy question tonight in a "Podcasts" category was about HDTGM and the types of movies they covered? The answer to the question was Speed 2.

[PlanBFromOuterSpace 3138]

I don't care about the "Star Wars" comparisons, I just wish the gang would talk about fuckin' "Krull" already.

[souprman 10477]

correction -

 

you guys kept saying how good the movie looked, i think Jason even used the word 'gorgeous'. really? i think this movie looked like shit. every single visual was an overworked mess. they tried to have so much going on in every frame that nothing had any semblance of depth or character. after my first viewing i couldn't remember a single detail about much at all. i mean to say nothing struck me as a totally wow visual that just stood on it's own. visual fucking noise imo. but on the positive George Lucas has something new to jack-off to.

 

EDIT>actually now that I think about it the Frank Gehry ripoff did stand out.

[Cameron H. 23786]

Did anyone see that a Jeopardy question tonight in a "Podcasts" category was about HDTGM and the types of movies they covered? The answer to the question was Speed 2.

 

Damn, that's some next level shit. I just wonder, now that they've achieved "Jeopardy" status, will the fame go to their heads? First it will be the parties, then the drugs--and the next thing you know--they'll start in with the "experimental" episodes--which will be critically acclaimed and considered some of their best work, but alienating and enigmatic for their longtime fans. Then come the fights. Jason thinks they should get back on the road and get back to their roots. Paul and June, exhausted from the limelight, refuse. Eventually, they come to a compromise and do one final episode on the roof of the Earwolf offices. People in the streets will look up with joy, little knowing that this will be the last time the three of them will be in the same place ever again. It's all very sad really...

 

But, in the meantime, let's celebrate!

 

[souprman 10477]

 

EDITED TO ADD: Sorry, I just told a fib, one more thing. If you are writing a post, especially if it has been a couple of days after an episode drops and it begins with the phrase, "I'm not sure if someone has already brought this up..." chances are somebody already did. Feel free to peruse the comments first, it only takes a couple of minutes. People say a lot of interesting and funny things here that deserve to be read. If someone already brought up your point, feel free to expand on it, but otherwise, do the work. Okay, now I'm done. Once again, I apologize. Won't happen again...probably.

 

I totally feel you on this CameronH and I have a lot of respect for your skillz. But I almost just did that same thing, writing 'sorry if...'. But then I was like - How these fools think anyone can keep up? - So I just decided to drop my two cents. Believe me I peruse, but at a certain point this thread went way off the res bro. WayyyyOfffff. Not that I don't love all you obsessive awesome freaks, but holy shit peoples. Ho - Lee - Shit.

[Cameron H. 23786]

 

I totally feel you on this CameronH and I have a lot of respect for your skillz. But I almost just did that same thing, writing 'sorry if...'. But then I was like - How these fools think anyone can keep up? - So I just decided to drop my two cents. Believe me I peruse, but at a certain point this thread went way off the res bro. WayyyyOfffff. Not that I don't love all you obsessive awesome freaks, but holy shit peoples. Ho - Lee - Shit.

 

 

I appreciate the kind words, but we're cool, Souprman! If you were to do it, or any of the other regular posters, I'd be cool with it. The funny thing is, the people who do do it, are the people who register an account, make that one post, and are never heard from again. Honestly, I really shouldn't have bothered. If they can't take the time to read if someone has already posted on something, they certainly aren't going to read what I wrote. I just get annoyed when I see the same thing brought up again and again and I'm like "Yes, BeingAllFishes already said that! It's the fifth goddamn post!"

[souprman 10477]

 

 

I appreciate the kind words, but we're cool, Souprman! If you were to do it, or any of the other regular posters, I'd be cool with it. The funny thing is, the people who do do it, are the people who register an account, make that one post, and are never heard from again. Honestly, I really shouldn't have bothered. If they can't take the time to read if someone has already posted on something, they certainly aren't going to read what I wrote. I just get annoyed when I see the same thing brought up again and again and I'm like "Yes, BeingAllFishes already said that! It's the fifth goddamn post!"

I don't post as much on HDTGM boards because you and PlanB, and FisterRobo, and a half dozen others rock it so hard. almost every time i've posted I end up seeing it somewhere else better worded. also i can really only watch a bad flick for 2-3 time max. i think my post back a page is maybe concise enough to be relevant, but i also feel 100% certain the topics have been covered. i really stand by first post>

i'm still pissed.

[RebeccaRandall 5]

I saw it as her saying to herself, "'I love dogs?' What was I thinking? Stupid!"

Yeah that's what I was trying to say. thanks for translating.

[myhandleonearwolf 62]

 

PugsDerpHarderThanU

Jupiter Ascending? What was that?

 

ChanningTatumHere

Great question. I have the same one to myself.

[McSmashington 521]

Wow. A lot of material to get through here.

Not sure if anyone mentioned this but what was up with the guest pronouncing Mila Kunis as Myla? I know its petty but that was weirding me out. Also pretty sure he called Channing Tatum, Chaining Tatum. Maybe he caught Scheer nameitis.

[McSmashington 521]

 

 

I appreciate the kind words, but we're cool, Souprman! If you were to do it, or any of the other regular posters, I'd be cool with it. The funny thing is, the people who do do it, are the people who register an account, make that one post, and are never heard from again. Honestly, I really shouldn't have bothered. If they can't take the time to read if someone has already posted on something, they certainly aren't going to read what I wrote. I just get annoyed when I see the same thing brought up again and again and I'm like "Yes, BeingAllFishes already said that! It's the fifth goddamn post!"

 

Man. I knew I was feeling especially lazy today, but doing this exact thing four posts after this point is made? Pretty goddamned lazy if I do say so myself.

[souprman 10477]

Man. I knew I was feeling especially lazy today, but doing this exact thing four posts after this point is made? Pretty goddamned lazy if I do say so myself.

that's why i liked your post i thought yous being a smartguy.

[McSmashington 521]

that's why i liked your post i thought yous being a smartguy.

 

Afraid not. Just a sleep deprived doofus.

[DanNicholson 83]

Did anyone notice that during the gravity boots battle for Chicago that all of the exploding cars, supposedly moving at the time, were empty? (Check out around the 23min mark when they go through the bridge)

 

In fact, there's pretty much zero signs of life in Chicago for that entire scene.

 

Surely they could CGI some drivers in there or something?

 

*first time poster, long time listener..... please be gentle

[JohnRoberts 0]

Did anyone else notice that whenever Channing Tatum shoots his gun it sounds like a dog bark. So in space you can put you're own sound on gunfire like a ringtone.

[PlanBFromOuterSpace 3138]

I don't post as much on HDTGM boards because you and PlanB, and FisterRobo, and a half dozen others rock it so hard. almost every time i've posted I end up seeing it somewhere else better worded. also i can really only watch a bad flick for 2-3 time max. i think my post back a page is maybe concise enough to be relevant, but i also feel 100% certain the topics have been covered. i really stand by first post>

i'm still pissed.

Unless there's some sort of enjoyment to be had from a bad movie, like if it's something that would be fun to watch with friends, I'm not big on re-watching them either. It's just that with me, the details of FRUSTRATING movies just seem to haunt me forever, like those kinds of movies where absolutely nothing matters and you're ten steps ahead of the characters the entire time where you're looking for ANYTHING to keep your attention. That's when I start to notice "Hey, how does this cat manage to get stuck in EVERY cupboard and closet in this house, allowing for a cheap jump scare every five minutes when it comes diving out at the babysitter?". Jesus Christ, if they ever tackle that remake of "When A Stranger Calls"...

[PlanBFromOuterSpace 3138]

 

 

I appreciate the kind words, but we're cool, Souprman! If you were to do it, or any of the other regular posters, I'd be cool with it. The funny thing is, the people who do do it, are the people who register an account, make that one post, and are never heard from again. Honestly, I really shouldn't have bothered. If they can't take the time to read if someone has already posted on something, they certainly aren't going to read what I wrote. I just get annoyed when I see the same thing brought up again and again and I'm like "Yes, BeingAllFishes already said that! It's the fifth goddamn post!"

The more irritating thing is when someone who claims to be a longtime fan goes through the trouble of registering to make one comment and it's to complain about the audio or how everyone's talking over each other in a live episode. If we're LUCKY, they never post again.

[Quasar Sniffer 4174]

I know that there is A LOT of serious and worthwhile discussion going on here, but guys, Channing Tatum just did a Reddit AMA and I think answered all our questions...

 

http://amatranscript...2015-06-17.html

Jupiter Ascending? What was that?

Great question. I have the same one to myself.

[Cameron H. 23786]

The more irritating thing is when someone who claims to be a longtime fan goes through the trouble of registering to make one comment and it's to complain about the audio or how everyone's talking over each other in a live episode. If we're LUCKY, they never post again.

 

Oh Christ, yes! (The Glitter debacle of 2014 springs immediately to mind.) I just don't get that attitude at all? What do they even expect the outcome of that kind of negativity is going to be? Fortunately, as you said, those people don't tend to stick around (although they just announced some live shows so I'm sure they'll be back soon). I mean seriously, how about we not direct our ire at the hosts, engineers, moderators, and guests who make this show possible. Instead, let's direct it where it should be--at these shitty, shitty movies.

 

In my opinion, I think the people around here are pretty great. I don't think there is anyone around here where I'm like, "That guy. Fuck that guy." I don't know if HDTGM/Earwolf fans are just better people in general or if the moderators are even more badass than they seem.

[souprman 10477]

 

Oh Christ, yes! (The Glitter debacle of 2014 springs immediately to mind.) I just don't get that attitude at all? What do they even expect the outcome of that kind of negativity is going to be? Fortunately, as you said, those people don't tend to stick around (although they just announced some live shows so I'm sure they'll be back soon). I mean seriously, how about we not direct our ire at the hosts, engineers, moderators, and guests who make this show possible. Instead, let's direct it where it should be--at these shitty, shitty movies.

 

In my opinion, I think the people around here are pretty great. I don't think there is anyone around here where I'm like, "That guy. Fuck that guy." I don't know if HDTGM/Earwolf fans are just better people in general or if the moderators are even more badass than they seem.

I have to say these forums are fairly troll-free for the most part. and any trolling is pretty insignificant compared to the extremely high amount of quality posters. except when Besser has been Tweeting. Cased Closed was pretty cool btw. he didn't let me say a lot, I think he wanted the contrary opinions to pump him up and influence the improv. hopefully it'll air next week.

[Cameron H. 23786]

Jupiter Ascending? What was that?

Great question. I have the same one to myself.

 

While I do think that's funny, it also bugs me when actors put down their own movies. I mean, you read the script, right? Are you telling me you didn't know about floating roller skates before you signed on? Fuck that, man! Either you knew what you were getting into or you were just taking the project for selfish reasons (i.e. money, exposure, etc.) Stand by your work! Say something like, "It was a good script, but I guess it just didn't work. I thought Mila did really well in it..." Shit, I'd have more respect if he just owned up and said, "I didn't really get it when I signed on, but I needed the money/wanted to work with the Wachowskis/really like wearing pointy ears." This kind of dismissive attitude some actors have over their "flops" is so disingenuous, it's ridiculous. It's all "Hey guys, I'm one of you. That was a real clunker, huh? Nudge, nudge. Wink, wink. Say no more." The problem is, no one will be you Channing, because you were the one person who said "yes" to acting in this movie. This is on your resume, deal with it.

 

The funny thing is I have been listening to old HDTGM episodes this week and heard two examples of this same thing--one I thought was handled quite well and the other was just godawful. When Halle Berry accepts the Razzie for Catwoman it could have been good, could of been cute, but she never once takes any ownership of her part in it's awfulness. During her speech she blames the director, her agent, and the screenwriters, but never once says, "Yeah, I guess I could have been better." Again it's that, "I had no control over this. The world conspired against me to act in this movie. I'm with you cool people..."

 

The second interview, and the one I think gets it right, is when Nic Cage is talking about the Wicker Man. He just says, "Hey it is what it is, and it did what it did." He doesn't knock the movie or anyone involved in making it. Furthermore, he does it without poo-pooing his role in it. I think in this way he is able to save some degree of face, which is what I believe Channing and Halle were trying (unsuccessfully) to do.

 

Nic Cage rulez!

[FisterRoboto 7499]

In my opinion, I think the people around here are pretty great. I don't think there is anyone around here where I'm like, "That guy. Fuck that guy."

Well, guys, I have a new goal...

[Nonesuch 26]

 

While I do think that's funny, it also bugs me when actors put down their own movies. I mean, you read the script, right? Are you telling me you didn't know about floating roller skates before you signed on? Fuck that, man! Either you knew what you were getting into or you were just taking the project for selfish reasons (i.e. money, exposure, etc.) Stand by your work! Say something like, "It was a good script, but I guess it just didn't work. I thought Mila did really well in it..." Shit, I'd have more respect if he just owned up and said, "I didn't really get it when I signed on, but I needed the money/wanted to work with the Wachowskis/really like wearing pointy ears." This kind of dismissive attitude some actors have over their "flops" is so disingenuous, it's ridiculous. It's all "Hey guys, I'm one of you. That was a real clunker, huh? Nudge, nudge. Wink, wink. Say no more." The problem is, no one will be you Channing, because you were the one person who said "yes" to acting in this movie. This is on your resume, deal with it.

 

The funny thing is I have been listening to old HDTGM episodes this week and heard two examples of this same thing--one I thought was handled quite well and the other was just godawful. When Halle Berry accepts the Razzie for Catwoman it could have been good, could of been cute, but she never once takes any ownership of her part in it's awfulness. During her speech she blames the director, her agent, and the screenwriters, but never once says, "Yeah, I guess I could have been better." Again it's that, "I had no control over this. The world conspired against me to act in this movie. I'm with you cool people..."

 

The second interview, and the one I think gets it right, is when Nic Cage is talking about the Wicker Man. He just says, "Hey it is what it is, and it did what it did." He doesn't knock the movie or anyone involved in making it. Furthermore, he does it without poo-pooing his role in it. I think in this way he is able to save some degree of face, which is what I believe Channing and Halle were trying (unsuccessfully) to do.

 

Nic Cage rulez!

 

 

Excellent points. I find it unfortunate when actors come out with comments like this, especially when the film in question was the product of genuine creative endeavour and passion as opposed to some kind of studio mandate. Channing read the script and had in-depth discussions with the Wachowskis about the film and his character, so he should have known precisely what he was getting himself in for. However, I should point out that Channing may well mean that the movie he saw was not the movie he filmed/read the script for (which is essentially what bit part actor Oleg Nasobin said in his comments). He's saying the movie bewildered him rather than actively bad-mouthing it.

 

It also underlines the unfortunate habit Hollywood actors have of turning on a project once it’s a certified box office bomb and critical disaster. While you will often see actors defend critically well regarded but financially underperforming films they featured in, it’s rare to see actors defend films they starred in that essentially failed on both levels. It’s easy to understand why this is - it’s basically a defensive move, a way of distancing yourself from a project marked by failure to avoid being tainted by that failure yourself.

 

Still, Caine/Channing were by far the least interesting elements of JA to me anyway, so I don't really care if he's dismissing the film like this. Channing didn't do a bad job at all, I just found Caine rather bland and uninteresting (he's a 13-year-old girl's first OC love interest, and such characters don't do much for me).