Episode 91 — Tom Scharpling, Our Close Friend

[elizamuffins 4228]

 

• If you were driving from Boston to NYC, and were in NJ, you went the wrong way
  

 

My at the time boyfriend was taking me to NYC because he felt bad that he had taken a trip to Disney with his family (he was 21) and wanted to make it up to me.

 

I was definitely going the wrong way.

[RocHoover 400]

 

a few comments:

• If you were driving from Boston to NYC, and were in NJ, you went the wrong way
  
• Yes. It is nearly impossible to turn around on the NJ Turnpike, and if you do it will require you to pay the toll both ways
  
• Correct. You cannot pump your own gas in NJ. People from here take this as some sort of weird point of pride (they have bumper stickers and shit that says "Jersey Girls Don't Pump Their Own Gas"), but i hate it. It takes so much longer because you have one guy trying to deal with 6 pumps. It's the worst. If I lived closer to PA or NY, I would cross state lines to get gas every single time I needed it.
  
• There are some nice things about New Jersey, but overall, I would have to give it a big thumbs down
  

 

2 Stars

 

this has been Scrutinizing the State's with Steve and his Stupendous Star Scale

 

OUT of two stars?

[souprman 10477]

How bout all this nickel and diming with health care professionals these days in Obama's America, huh gang? Why just the other day I was sitting in the well side of the waiting room for my general practitioner for a camp checkup, when I got a little frog in my throat. Figuratively speaking, of course! So I made like DJ Kool and cleared it! Oh the glares I received.

 

Hours later (Waiting rooms, amirite?), clean bill of health!

 

So I goes to square MY bill, and when I saw the itemized ticket, my eyes almost bugged out of my head! I don't know if it was from that waiting room incident or when ol Doc checked me for hernias, let's just say...

 

I don't much care for Cough Fees!

goddammit nohorseman! that was a long walk...

I like my coffee like I like my women

very much

well aren't you the sweetest?

[Blink 1844]

Biggest advice I can give to people is to not buy white/gray underwear

[JeffBurtMacklinMarra 6724]

What if the twist next year is that the second 8 housemates are the dads of the first 8?

[Andy Dick Cheney 3779]

I like my coffee how I like my forum.

 

Respectful, reverential, wantonly erotic, friendly and funny.

 

Oh and good gifs from Dixon.

[Jakal 4475]

I cant whore out my pets like the rest of you because as many of you know I'm allergic so I dont have any. Instead here is a picture of my coffee in a very non-threatening mug, its my 5th cup today. Enjoy you pervs.

 

 

[Blink 1844]

I'm going to make some coffee now, too

[elizamuffins 4228]

I am not really sure what coffee has to do with women but I am kinda partial to pour overs.

[reallycoolhat 257]

Can I just defend my lil state and say that some great f-ing stuff happens. Like for instance the one time I saw Chris Christie in one of my local frozen yogurt shops. Case closed.

 

Tony the Tiger Woods

[Blink 1844]

My last post kind of explains the one before it

[Sillylillyquee 1015]

To: Everbody

 

NICE

 

FUNNY

 

ilu

[RocHoover 400]

My last post kind of explains the one before it

 

"POW!"

Huge MMF (Marc Merring Fan)

[NickSpannaus 91]

Up until now, I've always told new/potential fans of HH to start with episode #1. But I think this Sharpling ep might be the new ideal entry point.

[Blink 1844]

I think we're just going to attract more weird dudes if we insist that people listen to dozens of hours of old podcasts before they get involved.

[SteveH 11126]

I like my coffee like I like my women: on my desk, baby

 

[Spunky Foonerism 8561]

I'm going to start telling potential fans of HH, "Start with episode 1...of some other podcast! Stay the fuck away! This show already has enough fans, get out of here!"

 

Then I'll move to phase two, in which I drive you all out of here too.

 

Phase three will just be me and Sean and Hayes.

 

 

Edit: You did it Steve! Good work. If you'll take one note from me though, the photo makes it look like you want to stick your thumb up some poor woman's butt. For your next joke, it would be less misogynistic to use one of your smaller fingers.

[greggy 15909]

i love coffee but i hate starbucks, i only like coffee through a french press. thats where you get french fries and a coffee from mcdonalds, dump them both in the paper to-go bag, and filter that back in to the coffee cup

[Houston 4819]

I like my coffee like hot and at home. Well, sometimes away from home too, but then you have to pay for it and damn the prices these days.

[RocHoover 400]

I agree with the french press.. Charlie Hebdo and such.

[honlads 8798]

I only brew that coffee bean that has passed through some goats on a mountainside, shat straight into the aeropress that I'm holding. 1 minute stand, stir for 10 seconds, push. Clean finish with subtle hints of goat shit and grass.

[DEATHMAN 3317]

Up until now, I've always told new/potential fans of HH to start with episode #1. But I think this Sharpling ep might be the new ideal entry point.

The Dark Poster

[RocHoover 400]

I think we're just going to attract more weird dudes if we insist that people listen to dozens of hours of old podcasts before they get involved.

 

I call them "HollyWEIRD Outsiders".

[kobthatreal 5896]

I do not like coffee and i will explain why...

 

My father was a traveling man and a connoisseur of the finer things in life. One winter he ventured to the Andes and found himself in a tiny village just south of Machu Pichu, where he would meet a woman by the name of Carolina. She was a, in a word, temptress. She lured my father from his pueblo one evening with the aromatic tantalizing sensations of freshly brewed coffee. My father, being so adventurous and really quite a connoisseur of things fine and foreign, decided he would join Carolina in her enjoyment of this hot brew. It was but 30 minutes later they were in the throws of passionate love making when there was a knock on the pueblo curtain, but as you would imagine didnt make much noise, allowing the slippery evil Delabaunte Duforte to finally catch my father in the act! You see many years ago my father and Delabaunte, both childhood friends and travelers and connoisseurs of fine things, made a gentlemans wager that the first to succumb to the devilish temptations of a jungle savage would have to offer up the child born of that love making as payment. But Delabaunte knew of my fathers passion for melanin in the skin of a woman and could not resist its life giving and almost godlike attributes.

 

My father being a man of his word gave up that child once it was born. Of course the native woman was not pleased but she was assured that boys rule and girls drool. Reluctantly he gave Delabaunte the child, with great sadness and regret as he passed him on, uncertain of the boys future, he whispered to the boys ear, "dont drink the coffee." 26 years later that boy wrote this very story, as he was me. And i am him. Thats right. I am Coffeeboy Duforte, adopted son of Delabaunte Duforte, but the born son of Carolina Pueblolady and John Likesa DaMelanin.

 

Now perhaps you understand why I do not like coffee.

 

 

 

Jk its me Chonson haha Chanson will love this one our dads a boat

[chanson 9697]

 

Jk its me Chonson haha Chanson will love this one our dads a boat

 

Spoiler: He's right.