EPISODE 116 — Top Dog: LIVE!

[jarrycanada 2483]

I'm pretty sure Chuck Norris's mom was a white supremacist...

 

when she was talking about the history books, I am 99% sure, she was talking about The Time Life History books. she was missing a copy, the end of the war. her collection was not complete. see what happens when you miss a payment.

 

Ohh btw here we go, lets just get this out of the way right now.

 

[DanNicholson 83]

I think my biggest criticism, though is how Norris is portrayed as a messy guy. Wouldn't the better move in a comedy be to make his house really neat, so that Reno is coming in and messing it all up? Or, if you wanted Norris to be messy, it would be even funnier/cuter if Reno was the neat one and tried to clean up the house.

 

*See "Turner & Hooch".

[DoctorGeniusPHD 135]

I think my biggest criticism, though is how Norris is portrayed as a messy guy. Wouldn't the better move in a comedy be to make his house really neat, so that Reno is coming in and messing it all up? Or, if you wanted Norris to be messy, it would be even funnier/cuter if Reno was the neat one and tried to clean up the house. But no, no effort to make a joke at any point. Just: here's a messy guy, and here's a dog.

 

It actually comes back a couple of times. First when Reno is brought to Norris' house Norris tells him not to mess it up (it's already messy, this is literally the joke). Then even though Reno is kind of a messy dog he won't even go into the house, he'd rather sleep in the car -- a car that Chuck Norris has just recently derided for its state! It's very funny.

[Cam Bert 8145]

Cam Bert, while I love your treatment for the potential sequel, I do have a question. Do we really think Callahan is going to win the mayoral election?

 

Excellent points. Now that I've had time to sleep and think about this, I'm more certain than ever that he will win. At first Callahan would think the whole "red scarf gate" was going to turn out badly for his campaign. I mean how could it not? However we're overlooking two important factors. One the Pope-cardinal just survived a near death experience. Two his religion preaches forgiveness. At first there is panic and an a bit of an uproar over the scarf snatching . After Pope-cardinal's helped up and told that it wasn't just any dog but it was the famous police dog Reno who was instrumental in saving unity day, he nods and forgives the dog. Callahan is all "I'm terribly sorry your holiness or somewhat holiness because after all we're not really sure what you are" and that's when the Pope-cardinal just laughs and tells gives a speech. In the speech he talks about how God has smiled upon them all that day and in the spirit of unity which is why he was there in the first place he forgives Reno and thanks Callahan for helping save the day. They shake hands and embrace. Because a dog stealing a scarf is comedy gold, the clip gets to the news but in their coverage they also include the speech and the following embrace as well. Who watches the news? Older demographics.Who votes in mayoral elections? Older demographics. With that the election is his.

 

 

That or we just say screw it and in a fun twist it turns out he was running unopposed the whole time and didn't know it.

[Auden 1809]

- Reno is such a cop that he likes donuts.

 

- I agree with Jason that Mama Jake is a white supremacist. Yeah, Hitler's birthday is in all the history books, all the history books for Hitler Youth members.

 

- I was a little grossed out by Jake picking up the phone with hands that had just handled a rotisserie chicken. Grab a napkin or something.

 

- During a meeting Jake said, "The Anti-Defamation League monitors racist movements throughout the country. They helped us locate a manufacturing plant on the west side, which is the headquarters and regular meeting place of a white supremacist group." The ADL does keep tabs on racist activities in the US and around the globe, but the Southern Poverty Law Center is the group that is known for their hate group list. But in any case both the ADL and SPLC are civilian groups and don't have the resources and training to obtain current and detailed info. such as the meeting place of a violent white supremacy group. Who does? The FBI.

 

- The neo-Nazis at the border were carrying C4. Even though C4 can't be detonated by gunshots, fire and physcal impacts--according to Wikipedia--it still seems like a bad idea to engage in a gun battle and high speed car chase with the police while carrying explosives. Also, why do they have to smuggle C4 from Mexico? They can make their own.

[DanNicholson 83]

I'm pretty sure that Aaron Norris was single-handedly responsible for killing Chuck Norris' movie career.

 

In under ten years (between Delta Force and Top Dog), Aaron directed 6 movies staring Chuck and oversaw his transition from movie star to direct-to-video cautionary tale.

 

OK.... Chuck had a couple box office flops before Aaron came onboard as a director, but this shocker was definitely the icing on an extremely disappointing cake.

 

Possibly just happy basking in all that "Walker, Texas Ranger" glory

[katy4650 49]

I thought about this a lot, too. Like, it made sense in Turner and Hooch (at least, more so than here) because there was literally no one else to watch over this dog that was the only witness to the murder. Why the hell couldn't the dog go live with BMX kid (also, where the fuck are BMX kid's parents for the whole movie)? Or the other lady cop that seemed to really love this dog? Why would you stick him with someone that clearly hated the dog? What kind of city official would be like, "Yeah, you clearly hate this dog, so I'm going to put you two together in what is clearly an unsafe environment for this animal."

 

I have always heard that police dogs, sniffer dogs, etc always live with their handler. This is to increase the bond between the two, because when the dog is working it is doing stuff to keep its handler happy. Even when the dog retires they usually go and live with their handler because of the close bond. But I would also agree that the cop who is assigned to work with a dog really wants to do it, and had had extra training and been tested to prove they know what they are doing. So it's just a sloppy idea played for laughs by the movie writer.

[Cameron H. 23786]

 

- I was a little grossed out by Jake picking up the phone with hands that had just handled a rotisserie chicken. Grab a napkin or something.

 

 

While I do agree that's gross, what I believe to be even grosser is a hot dog vendor who shoves his sweaty hands into the mouth of my filthy dog and then pats it on the head before going back to serve more hot dogs. *BARF*

 

Hey, Wiener man! Invest in some goddamn Purell!

[OoofMaGOOF 348]

Not sure if this falls into corrections and omissions but...no mention in the ep of the bonkers scene on the boat at the beginning?! Absolutely ripe for material.

 

"Wait, I'm a cop!"

"I don't care."

 

And a dog was thrown into the water!

 

Maybe it was in the first part that wasn't recorded Paul mentioned, but I would've loved to hear June's reaction to the whole scene.

[Cameron H. 23786]

 

And a dog was thrown into the water!

 

Maybe it was in the first part that wasn't recorded Paul mentioned, but I would've loved to hear June's reaction to the whole scene.

 

Oh, thank God! Another excuse to post this...

 

[Auden 1809]

While I do agree that's gross, what I believe to be even grosser is a hot dog vendor who shoves his sweaty hands into the mouth of my filthy dog and then pats it on the head before going back to serve more hot dogs. *BARF*

 

 

Hey, Wiener man! Invest in some goddamn Purell!

That is gross. God, that Wiener man. I also don't like that he gave Reno the hot dog and the pastry without checking with his human first and then asked to be paid. That is a bad scene. They want to show that Reno is popular everywhere, but undercuts it with tributes that have to be bought.

 

Not sure if this falls into corrections and omissions but...no mention in the ep of the bonkers scene on the boat at the beginning?! Absolutely ripe for material.

 

 

"Wait, I'm a cop!"

 

"I don't care."

I wonder if that scene was inspired by The Fugitive.

 

Oh, thank God! Another excuse to post this...

I was geuninely sad when Lou was killed. He loved his dog so much that he was willing to run into a burning building to save him (and later we saw that his car was filled with pillows and dog toys to keep Reno happy). Then the baddies threw Reno into the sea and I burst out laughing, remembering all the GIFs on this forum. Thanks guys, you have turned me into a monster.

[FisterRoboto 7499]

 

Oh, thank God! Another excuse to post this...

 

I'm sure we'll find a reason to repost this every couple pages.

 

And if not, let's do it anyway. I can never get enough of this gif.

[WarlocksEvilPlan 10]

Lots of great points guys! I'd like to add that Detective Grandpa sucks because:

 

A. He shuffles into the burning building with no gear, endangering the firemen who'd have to rescue his ass.

 

B. When the bad guys catch him looking at their cache of weapons, he says, "wait! I'm a cop!" Where did he think that'd get him? "Oh, I guess we'll let you go and tell everyone."

 

I hope HDTGM does the other Norris Brothers films Sidekicks and Hellbound. Also great nonsense films!

[Ofcoursemyhorse 1043]

Correction:

 

Chuck Norris doesnt teach a kid karate in Sidekicks, Mako does.

[Joe Lerini 7329]

 

Oh, thank God! Another excuse to post this...

 

Now I wonder if the bad guy that throws Reno in the water in this movie also threw the dog in the water in No Holds Barred.

[Bumpy 1674]

The recording equipment gains the first glimmers of machine intelligence and June goes and fries it with one of her logic paradox theories.

[AdamFreeman 0]

Jamie Power beat me to the Poochinski punch, but for those of you who don't have the patience to watch the full pilot, check out this trailer.

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lFKqr5GhcxQ

[Cameron H. 23786]

Midway through the movie, Norris meets with two cops who are staking out the bad guys' warehouse. He approaches them and he is told that a search warrant has been denied due to the lack of "probable cause." Undeterred, Norris flouts the Fourth Amendment, asks them to keep an eye out, and says he's going to go in anyway. Correct me if I'm wrong, but I'm pretty sure that even if he did discover the crucial piece of damning evidence he was looking for--without a warrant--it wouldn't even be admissible in court. Norris just got those police officers killed for nothing!

[SexAstronaut 36]

This got a 15 rating in the UK (broadly equivalent to the R rating), which totally excludes its target demographic from seeing it. But yeah, it's next level terrible. Has Chuck Norris ever been in an honest to goodness really good movie? I only kinda enjoyed The Delta Force but only because it didn't seem to be aware of how jingoistic and fascistic it was being.

[BeingAllFishies 99]

Whenever Chuck was attempting to act caring with the boy, this is all that kept running through my head:

 

[FisterRoboto 7499]

Midway through the movie, Norris meets with two cops who are staking out the bad guys' warehouse. He approaches them and he is told that a search warrant has been denied due to the lack of "probable cause." Undeterred, Norris flouts the Fourth Amendment, asks them to keep an eye out, and says he's going to go in anyway. Correct me if I'm wrong, but I'm pretty sure that even if he did discover the crucial piece of damning evidence he was looking for--without a warrant--it wouldn't even be admissible in court. Norris just got those police officers killed for nothing!

You're exactly right. Funny thing about the Fourth Amendment. It actually protects citizens against exactly the kind of unreasonable search and seizure that Norris performs. Not only would any evidence he found there be inadmissible in court, any clues that he found there which potentially led him to other evidence would be inadmissible because it's "fruit of the poisonous tree."

[mjleblanc10 0]

Long time listener, first time poster....

 

This movie is a mess but a couple of thoughts.

 

Captain Callahan: They couldn't change his name after he was cast? He's super casual and also he's way more concerned about possibly running for mayor than MULTIPLE murdered cops in his department.

 

Reno: There is never any follow up to the fact that he was SHOT at the start of the movie. No explanation of why he didn't die, no recovery montage and seemingly no ill affects in his everyday life.

[BenjaminScott 1]

Written and directed by Chuck's brother, Aaron Norris. a $300 opening weekend had to have made for an awkward next Thanksgiving!

[Cameron H. 23786]

Whenever Chuck was attempting to act caring with the boy, this is all that kept running through my head:

 

 

Norris' relationship with the boy was hilariously awkward--it was like he was a vacuum cleaner trying to mimic human emotion. I particularly loved the scene where the kid is cradling the dog and whimpering softly. Chuck comes out totally stone-faced and says, "What's the matter, Matt?" Hmmm...I don't know, Chuck--whatever could be this boy's problem? I would have loved if in reply the kid just said, "Gee, I don't know, Mister...Let's see if we can figure this one out: I'm sitting in a strange, degenerate's detritus strewn backyard, sobbing into the matted fur of a dog that used to belong to my beloved grandfather--who just one month ago--was brutally murdered and unceremoniously dumped into the bay. I don't know detective, you tell me: 'What's the matter?'"

[Cam Bert 8145]

Midway through the movie, Norris meets with two cops who are staking out the bad guys' warehouse. He approaches them and he is told that a search warrant has been denied due to the lack of "probable cause." Undeterred, Norris flouts the Fourth Amendment, asks them to keep an eye out, and says he's going to go in anyway. Correct me if I'm wrong, but I'm pretty sure that even if he did discover the crucial piece of damning evidence he was looking for--without a warrant--it wouldn't even be admissible in court. Norris just got those police officers killed for nothing!

You're exactly right. Funny thing about the Fourth Amendment. It actually protects citizens against exactly the kind of unreasonable search and seizure that Norris performs. Not only would any evidence he found there be inadmissible in court, any clues that he found there which potentially led him to other evidence would be inadmissible because it's "fruit of the poisonous tree."

Not to mention earlier in the film when he goes to the docks. He heads into the harbor masters office, identifies himself, and asks to see the log as he reaches out for it. When the harbor master, who is crooked, stops him and asks if he has a warrant Norris just rips it from his hands and says "You got a problem?" Yes many! Anybody could get a real enough looking badge and come in, a warrant not only compels you to comply but shows that this is a legit and legal search. Like FisterRoboto said it a simple requirement of law and your rights and by doing this he negates any evidence gained. However Norris takes it even a step further by ripping the page out of the log!! Not only was it an illegal search but you can throw in destruction or tempering with evidence charges on top of that right?