EPISODE 105 — John Gemberling, Our LIVE Friend

[AshleyChupp 3958]

Just cut myself trying to use a bottle opener on my beer. This is why I need a boyfriend* smh.

 

I finished listening to Reality Show Show today. Had a strangely intense emotional reaction to it. I'm probably on my period. Then I started thinking about what would happen if Hollywood Handbook ended. I actually cried. Shed real tears. I hadn't felt such despair since one of my old friends told me that my alcoholism was hurting the people close to me. I should probably bring this up in therapy. Except for that I don't have health insurance anymore and can't afford therapy.

 

Anyway I've been reading through the RSS forums as I listen to the show. It feels creepy to do, so I'm going to announce publicly that I've been doing it. Chanson, Valerie Bryant, Greggy and the rest of the RSS forum posters who I'm forgetting (sorry bout it) it's such an honor to exist in the same Internet space as you all. You're incredibly funny and that's so cool. But also I'm funny too, just saying.

 

In summation, I'm not drunk and it's very good that no one is posting here on this, the Lord's Day.

 

*It's honestly the only reason I can think of that I might need a boyfriend.

[Spunky Foonerism 8561]

Hey, I read the first part of what you just said and just wanted to say its very brave of you to share about how you cant open your beer. As a former boyfriend, its nice to know that beer-opening prowess is appreciated by somebody in this cold, cruel world. Best of luck to you in your quests*, and based on the first sentence, I bet the rest of what you wrote is very good. If I have time later I'll come back and look it over.

 

 

*Quest 1: safely open a container

Quest 2: find companionship

[AshleyChupp 3958]

Hey, I read the first part of what you just said and just wanted to say its very brave of you to share about how you cant open your beer. As a former boyfriend, its nice to know that beer-opening prowess is appreciated by somebody in this cold, cruel world. Best of luck to you in your quests*, and based on the first sentence, I bet the rest of what you wrote is very good. If I have time later I'll come back and look it over.

 

 

*Quest 1: safely open a container

Quest 2: find companionship

 

If you're saying you want to be my boyfriend, Spunky Foonerism, that's probably a private message conversation.

[Silvrwoman 4998]

Hey I only read the last part of what you said, but I'm assuming the only reason you need a boyfriend is for opening beers

[AshleyChupp 3958]

Hey I only read the last part of what you said, but I'm assuming the only reason you need a boyfriend is for opening beers

 

If you're saying you want to be my boyfriend, Silvrwoman, that's probably a private message conversation.

[thejjar 5031]

HA women.. Am I right boys?

[souprman 10477]

TOTALLY LOL-ing at how funny women is.

 

 

edit> this post is actually sincere despite how stupidly it's written.

[JeffBurtMacklinMarra 6724]

My dad opens beers with his teeth.

[greggy 15909]

my dad opens beers with my teeth

[JeffBurtMacklinMarra 6724]

my dad opens beers with my teeth

 

#oneuppedbygreggy

[Game of Scones 5812]

anyone going to preorder their star wars tickets monday?

[mikebonetti 3718]

Hey guys, haven't been on the forums all weekend. Looks like you all had a very nice time. I'll probably read it all tomorrow during work. Goodnight.

[Silvrwoman 4998]

Hey guys, haven't been on the forums all weekend. Looks like you all had a very nice time. I'll probably read it all tomorrow during work. Goodnight.

Yea, I even got a Hayzie Bone like, yet I couldn't even enjoy it - something was still missing from that post. I think I'll eventually forgive you

[chanson 9697]

 

If you're saying you want to be my boyfriend, Spunky Foonerism, that's probably a private message conversation.

 

Hurricane Dennis will not take kindly to this philandering.

[chanson 9697]

Hey, anyone know how a CatDog poops?

 

for reference:

 

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n8jKH8EUvHg

 

Edit: Need to know ASAP!

[skizelo 2536]

My dad leaves beers closed, 12 years sober we're all proud of you daddy.

[elizamuffins 4228]

I am a woman with a boyfriend and I don't drink beer but he does make all my drinks (whiskey and soda on the rocks with lime is my favorite) and I still manage to hurt myself doing mundane tasks! Boyfriends are great but women are just not as good at avoiding injury so I suggest you just get used to it, young lady. Men are good for a lot but they can on!y do do much.

[JeffBurtMacklinMarra 6724]

I am a woman with a boyfriend and I don't drink beer but he does make all my drinks (whiskey and soda on the rocks with lime is my favorite) and I still manage to hurt myself doing mundane tasks! Boyfriends are great but women are just not as good at avoiding injury so I suggest you just get used to it, young lady. Men are good for a lot but they can on!y do do much.

 

Like dish out a sweet sweet dickin'?

 

 

 

[mikebonetti 3718]

Yea, I even got a Hayzie Bone like, yet I couldn't even enjoy it - something was still missing from that post. I think I'll eventually forgive you

I know I can't make up for missing your big day, but just know that I'm proud of you.

[ole_swerdlow 145]

Like dish out a sweet sweet dickin'?

 

that hurts and, yes, theres much more that boys can do too. we're more than just what is behind our frontpants. we have feelings and some of us even do pottery (look it up).

 

i open drinks for a lot of girls and it doesn't mean that they couldn't do it themselves, and frankly, i can't even do it myself a lot of days (bottlecap companies should switch from steel to something softer and more manageable like meringue or the sauce they put into the eclairs.). we've gotten to a point in our social structure where, yes, girls are the same as boys, and, yes, the lines are blurred. so if you're gonna say something hurtful like that, then, yes, i will speak up.

[Spunky Foonerism 8561]

Hey, anyone know how a CatDog poops?

 

for reference:

 

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n8jKH8EUvHg

 

Edit: Need to know ASAP!

 

I know not everyone is a scientist, but come on, this one is pretty obvious. The cat's mouth eats and the poop comes out the dog's mouth, and vice versa.

[JeffBurtMacklinMarra 6724]

 

that hurts and, yes, theres much more that boys can do too. we're more than just what is behind our frontpants. we have feelings and some of us even do pottery (look it up).

 

i open drinks for a lot of girls and it doesn't mean that they couldn't do it themselves, and frankly, i can't even do it myself a lot of days (bottlecap companies should switch from steel to something softer and more manageable like meringue or the sauce they put into the eclairs.). we've gotten to a point in our social structure where, yes, girls are the same as boys, and, yes, the lines are blurred. so if you're gonna say something hurtful like that, then, yes, i will speak up.

 

This guy fucks.

 

(Silicon Valley reference)

[ole_swerdlow 145]

This guy fucks.

 

(Silicon Valley reference)

 

i revolutionized the art of date compression.

[Dads for Butt Stuff 753]

 

I know not everyone is a scientist, but come on, this one is pretty obvious. The cat's mouth eats and the poop comes out the dog's mouth, and vice versa.

 

I never imagined this possible, but I think you finally turned me off CatDog.

 

Well, time to turn in my fanclub badge I guess, and the international meetup is only a week away.

I was going as Lube, had a plane ticket to Irkutsk and everything

[souprman 10477]

silvr i dont want to panic you but there's a pumpkin on your head. don't make any sudden movements. those things are vicious this time of year.