EPISODE 113 — Listeners, Our Close Friends 3

[ScroogeMcFuk 37]

Everyone was super nice and funny and charming. I have to agree that this might be the best of the call-in eps.

 

Who was the Andrew impersonator? That was probably my favorite. They even had their own personal Hayes-Laugher in the background!

I have been working on my Andrew voice for awhile

[Andrew 4646]

Does anyone know how to sue for defamation? I'm asking for a friend.

[SteveH 11126]

You guys didn't get to hear my sweet voice, but I was able to print off the transcript from my NSA files. h/t TT for the files.

 

Sean: Hi

 

Hayes: Houston, Hang on.

 

Houston: Hello.

 

Sean: We have a problem

 

Hayes: Hang on Houston, Hang on Houston.

 

Houston: I can hear you now. (killer verizon reference cuz I have att.)

 

Sean: Houston we have a problems.

 

Houston: Wow, never heard that joke before. Points for originality.

 

Hayes: Okay.

 

Sean: It’s a shame we didn’t get Houston.

 

Cody: It’s computer not me.

 

Houston: YOU ARE DEAD TO ME CODY! DON’T BLAME THIS SHIT ON TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES. WE ARE FEUDING NOW!

 

Sean: We got to bail on Houston.

 

(I was all like)

 

 

That may have been one of that last phone calls collected by the NSA. Congrats you're a part of history https://www.washingtonpost.com/world/national-security/nsas-bulk-collection-of-americans-phone-records-ends-sunday/2015/11/27/75dc62e2-9546-11e5-a2d6-f57908580b1f_story.html

 

this joke might not make sense because I don't always understand the news.

[robinsbruce 4985]

Ease up off jmo's jock dawg.

[chanson 9697]

Everyone watching The Challenge? Good good cool cool.

[TRb 65]

Hey I'm new but wanna be a forum poster like all you guys -- what do I do?

[mattman92ish 823]

If only Ernest was here

[JMonsterface 1974]

Ease up off jmo's jock dawg.

 

It's ok Bruce, I'll give this guy the benefit of the doubt.

 

You see Scrooge McFuk, I did an Andrew impression once a long time ago and it was ok, but frankly, the one you did on the call in was way better.

 

I'm handing over the crown.

[robinsbruce 4985]

Hey I'm new but wanna be a forum poster like all you guys -- what do I do?

 

Where'd you dig up that basketball

[TRb 65]

Where'd you dig up that basketball

Seattle! It was actually a pumpkin... I still dunked it though

[ScroogeMcFuk 37]

 

 

It's ok Bruce, I'll give this guy the benefit of the doubt.

 

You see Scrooge McFuk, I did an Andrew impression once a long time ago and it was ok, but frankly, the one you did on the call in was way better.

 

I'm handing over the crown.

 

it probably helps that I speak english

[ScroogeMcFuk 37]

 

Seattle! It was actually a pumpkin... I still dunked it though

 

dunked it in a glass of milk i hope

[TRb 65]

dunked it in a glass of milk i hope

How do I like MY chips? Dunked in a glass of #milk

[ole_swerdlow 145]

Hey I'm new but wanna be a forum poster like all you guys -- what do I do?

you need a passbadge to get in first. they still wont provide me a passbadge even though i keep asking. they say the printer is too chunked up with ink to do it but i think they just are keeping me out because they disagree with my politics (transhumanist) and my favorite food (spreads).

if you and i stick together we can support each other until we are accepted as "being normals"

[SteveH 11126]

you need a passbadge to get in first. they still wont provide me a passbadge even though i keep asking. they say the printer is too chunked up with ink to do it but i think they just are keeping me out because they disagree with my politics (transhumanist) and my favorite food (spreads).

if you and i stick together we can support each other until we are accepted as "being normals"

 

who did you ask about the badge? did you ask IT? it used to be IT, but they're not in charge of the badges anymore. It's the office manager now. You can probably just ask Slevanie at the front desk. She can at least give you a loaner badge until your new one is ready. The loaner badge only works on some entrances though. You can't use it to enter the forums from the outside and it won't let you take the elevator to the 4th floor.

[TRb 65]

Aww shit I made the literal HH like a half a year ago -- that should work as a badge?

[ole_swerdlow 145]

 

who did you ask about the badge? did you ask IT? it used to be IT, but they're not in charge of the badges anymore. It's the office manager now. You can probably just ask Slevanie at the front desk. She can at least give you a loaner badge until your new one is ready. The loaner badge only works on some entrances though. You can't use it to enter the forums from the outside and it won't let you take the elevator to the 4th floor.

i have to avoid the front desk because a few years back after the bars slevanie and i frontal hugged for a medium-long time out by the carpark. and what, after all this, im supposed to just speak to her asking her to do a badge for me like we didn't do what we did?? i cant. not with our shared histories.

up to now ive been shimmying up the tube that runs up the wall by the dumpsters (gas tube?) to get in to the forums sans badge. it works but to be honest, the tube (gas tube?) has been getting looser and looser as ive been using it day after day to skitter up the buildingside. depending on what tube it is (gas tube?) if i dont get a badge soon things could get a little bit....let's just say "different than they are now."

[Jack Johnson P.I. 3649]

(gas tube?)

 

guess which of the (gas tube?)'s i quoted and you'll get a prize

[thejjar 5031]

 

I remember when I first got my badge. Word to the wise don't ask why it's cut poorly. They're just learning on how to use the big guy scissors.

[Joe Lerini 7329]

While the boys were talking about The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus, I shouted "DUSTIN HOFFMAN!" at my laptop, like, five times before I realized I was thinking about Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium.

[TRb 65]

 

I remember when I first got my badge. Word to the wise don't ask why it's cut poorly. They're just learning on how to use the big guy scissors.

 

[ole_swerdlow 145]

 

I remember when I first got my badge. Word to the wise don't ask why it's cut poorly. They're just learning on how to use the big guy scissors.

so...you must have spoken to slevanie to get that.........how did she look?......was she still wearing those brass baby shoes?.....does she still like how expensive merry-go-rounds are getting lately?.......does she still have to take that silly insulin thing every day?

[Silvrwoman 4998]

Does anyone know how to sue for defamation? I'm asking for a friend.

Andrew, because I care just as much as you do about Andrew, and the awful way Andrew represented Andrew during Andrew's call, I decided to do some research into how Andrew may be able to sue Andrew "for defamation" of Andrew's character, as Andrew stated. Unfortunately, every legal firm I contacted was "unavailable" to take on new cases due to being busy laughing at me.

It's not all bad news though, I did find precedent for your case: someone in almost the exact same situation, doing basically the exact same thing you'd like to do: Inmate Sues Himself for $5 Million

[Henry 3777]

I don't have a Facebook account because telling everybody that I don't own a TV started losing it's punch. Plus, I do own a TV and I watch TV all the time. Anyway, what's this rainbow unicorn Facebook add they were talking about? Sounds hilarious

[mwn 5470]

While the boys were talking about The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus, I shouted "DUSTIN HOFFMAN!" at my laptop, like, five times before I realized I was thinking about Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium.

big deal I shout DUSTIN HOFFMAN at my laptop 5x every day to get it to turn on