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Episode 116 — Cartoons, Our Close Friends

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hey popcorn gallery,

 

hit me with a few questions you might ask a total nobody who hasn't done jackshit

 

You guys are doing another listener call in episode already?

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Dear Mr. Nobody, what did you think of Jared Leto's portrayal of you?

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Dear Goldie Hawn,

 

Would you have agreed to come on the show if you knew the rude things Sean said about you on the internet?

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hey nobody,

 

drafted tweets - the fort knox of twitter?

 

does it smell like updog in here to you?

 

if your dad won the powerball, would he walk out on you?

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Dear Guest,

 

I recently saw a show that tried to determine if there were more bigfoots in the US or in Canada. Where do you think the most bigfoots live?

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hey popcorn gallery,

 

hit me with a few questions you might ask a total nobody who hasn't done jackshit

Why did you leave me daddy? someone else made a dad joke, gotta tread some new territory.

Dear Guest, You have a time machine that could hmm I dont know enough about time travel.

Netflix and Chill? nope not that either.

 

Dear guest, whats the best couch you've ever crashed on for 'just a night.'

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Dear Guest,

You have a time machine that could only take you to the 1990's and back to present day, and nothing you did could affect present day except if you personally murdered someone. Present day would not reflect any direct or indirect consequences of this person's death that would affect you personally; however this person not existing in the present day could affect other people, but not you or your loved ones. Unfortunately, the time machine is broken. How would you repurpose this broken machine into a cool, conversation-starting piece of furniture, and is it going to be a coffee table?

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hey mr. nobody

 

this bad grampy movie is getting a lot of buzz. have you ever had to deal with a horny elder?

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When people say all dogs go to heaven that's just an expression right? Cause I was once trying to cross this stream in my cousin's backyard and when I was half way across using these stepping stones some neighbor dog jumped in which startled me and I fell pretty hard. I don't wanna worship a God who would give eternal salvation to that guy.

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hey popcorn gallery,

 

hit me with a few questions you might ask a total nobody who hasn't done jackshit

 

we still on for drinks this saturday?

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Hi Nobody!

 

IMDB says you've played some pretty iconic roles like Helpful Friend in "Joke that was maybe relevant in 2009" (Sketch) and Diarrhea Cop in "Not Funny and Borderline Unwatchable" (Short). There are plenty more of these and the dates go back to the mid-2000s! Wow you've been at this for a long time!

 

My question is this: when should somebody stop lying to themselves and know when it is a good time to give up?

 

PS- I watched what I could of yours on youtube and all of the videos had a collective view count of 147! Keep at it brutha!

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Dear Future Somebody,

 

who smells better sean or the engineer?

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Dearest guest,

 

I've heard it said that "Treat your audience as if they are smart, and that's who will show up." Well I ain't watchin no stinkin ballerinas on The Late Show with Stephen Colbert!

 

What do you think?

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bonus q:

 

if you were alive during the women's suffrage movement, would you help all the ladies get their votes or just sit around and ignore the men being mean?

 

be careful. i don't want you to end up on the wrong side of history here.

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Dear guest,

 

it's my birthday and I'm waiting alone at a bar for some friends to show up. How do I gracefully slink out and cry all the way home if they don't show?

I imagine you've been in this situation a lot, no offense.

 

thank

m,

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Guest,

What motivational Tweet has influenced you the most, and in which way has it changed your life so drastically?

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Hi Guest,

 

What will you miss most from David Bowie: his music, his acting, or those big ol knives?

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