EPISODE 120 — Brandon Gardner, Our Close Friend

[greggy 15909]

i give this ep the highest rating, 10/10. thanks you to everyone involved for making it for me

[thejjar 5031]

Brett playing the king music was maybe my favorite moment

[SteveH 11126]

Beyoncé sunk a cop car in the Formation video. SHE SUNK A COP CAR. Did you see that video? The whole thing was blatantly making a statement. But all anyone wants to talk about is Red Lobster?! History is happening, and you're all missing it! Willfully ignoring it, even. I've never seen such an explicitly pro-black and pro-woman piece of art in the mainstream but NPR still commissions white dudes to write pieces about it?! What is happening?!?!

 

This is where we talk about the marginalization of minorities in American pop culture, right?

 

According to my Facebook feed, there are actually a lot of people who have some pretty interesting takes on it.

[mattman92ish 823]

Well I was doing the swim, I was doing the MC Hammer crab walk.. I was doing sort of a Staying Alive routine, uh I did da Roger Rabbit Uh I did the Running Man I did the straight up fucking Boogey Woogey Woogey I did the Electric Slide I did the Macarena.. I did the Macaroni I did the locomotion... I did the Ocean Potion .

[Joe Lerini 7329]

Guys, you know Valentimes Day is coming up. I came up with some themed names for some of my fave posters, just in case you hadn't thought of them. And if you did, then that's great, too.

 

Souprman = Luvrman

 

Wheez the Sn'us = Wheez the Sm'ooch

 

Chanson = Romancin'

 

devscoots = lovscoots

 

mikebonetti = mike BONEtti (I'm aware this worked a completely different way for Halloween)

 

JEFFREYPARTIES = JEFFREYHEARTIES

 

Number 1 Cheeba Hawk = Number 1 Cheeba Hug

 

 

 

Some of you have names I'm not clever enough to twist into a Valentimes theme, and ladies, I intentionally didn't give you names because I feel like I would be mansplaining to you what I think your name should be. And I'm not about that.

 

Cheers, everybody!

[Joe Lerini 7329]

Oh crap. I finally got to the end of the episode. So sorry, Hayes and Sean, I'm part of the problem!

 

Show was great by the way, keep them coming. Again, so sorry.

[SteveH 11126]

my valentine's name is still SteveH...but the H stands for HEARTS, baby

[thejjar 5031]

My name is still thejjar also but in this reality a jar is slang for a top notch booty

[robotam 4493]

My name is Jonas

I'm carrying the wheel

Thanks for all you've shown us

But this is how we feel

Come sit next to me

Pour yourself some tea

Just like Grandma made

When we couldn't find sleep

Things were better then

Once but never again

We've all left the den

Let me tell you about it

 

[Chorus 1]

The choo-choo train left right on time

A ticket cost only your mind

The driver said, "Hey man, we go all the way"

Of course we were willing to pay

 

[Verse 2]

My name is Wepeel

I got a box full of your toys

They're fresh out of batteries

But they're still making noise

Tell me what to do

Now the tank is dry

Now this wheel is flat

And you know what else

Guess what I received

In the mail today

Words of deep concern

From my little brother

 

[Chorus 2]

The building's not going as he planned

The foreman has injured his hand

The dozer will not clear a path

The driver swears he learned his math

 

[bridge]

The workers are going home

The workers are going home

The workers are going home

The workers are going home

The workers are going home

The workers are going home

The workers are going home

Yeah, yeah, yeah

 

[Outro]

My name is Jonas

 

9 Follow Embed

 

Reply…

THE_AlexDavis 17

2 years ago

They are actually very good annotations by that one person.

 

Upvote

+2

Tom_Gee 880

3 years ago

Dude, really? One person annotated the whole song?

 

Upvote

+1

[nohorseman 5423]

"Young Cocoa Butter" did a grand job annotating, imo

[Jack Johnson P.I. 3649]

I like Akon's version better: "My Name is Aliaume Damala Badara Akon Thiam".

 

long but strong bby

[AlbinLundholm 4020]

my valentine's name is still SteveH...but the H stands for HEARTS, baby

The H in Thundercock stands for hung

[Rose_Cream 1246]

My name is still thejjar also but in this reality a jar is slang for a top notch booty

 

When is a quirky Valentine's name not really a quirky Valentine's name?

 

When it's thejjar's.

 

(That's in reference to a funny riddle that asks 'when is a door not a door?')

[souprman 10477]

OMG look at his jjar!

 

it is sooo big!

 

he's prolly one of those rap guys girlfriends

 

 

I like big jjar's and I cannot lie

 

you other jjar's can't deny

 

when a jjar walks in with an itty bitty waist

 

and a round jjar in your face

 

you get sprung, wanna pull up tough

 

cause you noticed that jjar was stuffed

 

deep in the jeans he wearin

 

I'm hooked and I can't stop starin'

 

baby I wanna get witcha

 

and take your picture

 

my homeboys tried to warn me

 

but that jjar you got make ME SO HORNY!

 

 

edit> forgot to add my toll-free number 1-900-SOUP-A-LOT in case anyone has some nasty thoughts.

edit2>i should really be more awake when doing things.

[devscoots 2561]

The bigwigs at earwolf have downgraded my status. APPARENTLY certain people's feathers were ruffled.

 

 

Luckily I have never been mad, and, in fact, am laughing right now.

[SteveH 11126]

The bigwigs at earwolf have downgraded my status. APPARENTLY certain people's feathers were ruffled.

 

 

Luckily I have never been mad, and, in fact, am laughing right now.

 

This has Scripps written all over it

[apocowarg 2696]

[souprman 10477]

ha ha !!! kanye west fans! ha ha ha ha ha ha hahahahahahah!!! fuck you!!

 

 

ha ha !! HAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAH!!!!!!!!!!

 

 

FUCK YOU.

 

 

 

-Love, Kanye.

[souprman 10477]

xhf

[NoahTomaszewski 2768]

You need more secondary sources. Solid B paper

[earpanther 451]

Haven't listened yet, but based on the comments, sounds like Sam would have done a better job engineering this one.

[nohorseman 5423]

CALE HARTMANN INNOCENT!!!

 

 

(just trying to drum up publicity for a big post I'm going to drop tomorrow)

 

(definitely don't think this irl)

[Joe McGurl 8358]

 

Well it's Wednesday and we all know that means it's story day. This is from my snapchat and it's a story from my childhood that was pretty serious and hard to talk about. I hope you all take the time to give it a watch. Thank you and may God bless you all, my soldiers of light and justice.

[Joe McGurl 8358]

Oh and good ep I liked it and I laughed and I texted my entire contact list and told them how much I enjoyed it

 

Proof:

[Houston 4819]

CALE HARTMANN INNOCENT!!!

 

I know this is a sensitive subject and in no way do I want to diminish the experience of sexual violence. Sexual violence is wrong full stop.

 

That said, I think he's innocent not because I think he did not do it, but I think Cale Hartmann is a construct played by 10 different actors. Think about it, his appearance changes greatly over the years. Coincidence? NO! The Femanazi Fascist Fanclub (FFF)¹ created this conspiracy to make you think that a sexually aggressive bastard like Cale Hartmann exists. The FFF itself is a front for Lizard Ladies, a secret cabal of female aliens with a reptilian like appearance that are at war with their male alien counterparts. They aggressively seek to destroy male lead comedy by sabotaging the careers of Dane Cook and secretly bankrolling most of Adam Sandler's Netflix series. I mean, what is more believable, that a sexually aggressive man tried to use his position of power to exploit up and coming comedians or that the male improv scene is under attack by mean alien lizard ladies. I trust after considering the facts for themselves you'll see the truth.

 

^{1 FFF is the chief rival of the Hollywood Mafia}