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Jamal G

Shoot 'em Up (2007)

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At least three people get killed with carrots and a umbilical cord is cut using a bullet. Plus, Paul Giamatti

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Everything you could ask for. Super cheesy dialogue, incredibly over the top action (death by carrot!), the original sex scene/gun fight (you're welcome Drive Angry!) and outdated hero tics (hates guys with ponytails, rich guys who don't signal when changing lanes, and moms who spank their kids).
Of course this is the tip of the iceberg (lactating hookers with a heart of gold, Paul Giamatti fondling a corpse, a baby farm over a heavy metal club) there is no way to describe in this small space the craziness that is this movie. It demands a full HDTGM episode.

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What really gets me is how the baby is basically thrown around during the gunfights. I have 3 small kids and it made me cringe the entire time! Thankfully when you think he threw the baby on the floor of the car it turns out to be a doll. Woeful.

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I watched the making of on the Blu-Ray (Blu-Ray! It's a miracle I am married still) and the pride of the prop guy on the babies was stunning. And Monica Bellucci was just as hot and unintelligible in her interview as in the film. So that wasn't a character choice apparently.

The amount of talent on hand though is stunning, but the resume of the cat that wrote/directed offers a clue as to why this was such a turd. His IMDB abruptly ends after this outing.

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I would love to see this as an episode. The beginning 10 minutes says it all....delivering a child in a warehouse while taking out bad guys with cheesy dialogue and/or bullets.

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I like this movie actually. I like it how Paul likes Crank 2. It's obviously meant to be really cheezy so I think it would be a fun movie for them to do.

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This would be great. I watched this movie with my jaw on the floor with all the awesome over the top stunts going on. The only problem is it doesn't hold up to multiple viewings. Not a turd great movie

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This would be great. I watched this movie with my jaw on the floor with all the awesome over the top stunts going on. The only problem is it doesn't hold up to multiple viewings. Not a turd great movie

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I don't think some you guys realize that this movie was intentionally ridiculous. Why do you think they called it"Shoot Em' Up"? It's a nod to over-the-top action films (basically like the Crank movies). It's an action movie that doesn't even remotely take itself seriously. I highly enjoyed it.

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I don't think some you guys realize that this movie was intentionally ridiculous. Why do you think they called it"Shoot Em' Up"? It's a nod to over-the-top action films (basically like the Crank movies). It's an action movie that doesn't even remotely take itself seriously. I highly enjoyed it.

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I unironically loved this movie. It's so over-the-top that it's brilliant. Even so, I could see a pretty good HDTGM being done around it. It's not like "Crank 2" being intentionally insane kept them from making comedy gold out of it.

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I unironically loved this movie. It's so over-the-top that it's brilliant. Even so, I could see a pretty good HDTGM being done around it. It's not like "Crank 2" being intentionally insane kept them from making comedy gold out of it.

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To me this is like Crank 2 and Punisher War Zone where it's made to be just batshit insane. From it being a real life version of Bugs Bunny vs. Elmer Fudd to over 100 people being killed on screen, this movie is amazing. And I gotta give props to all of the unique ways they had Clive Owen kill people from using a chopped off hand to fire a gun and the Home Alone maze of death in the gun factory, this movie rocked.

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And there's at least one carrot-based pun!

And at least a million Bugs Bunny/Elmer Fudd jokes.

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Gah! This movie. It's either a smart movie for dumb people, or a dumb movie for smart people. Total excitement by repetition: one-liner, blaring rawk muzak, firefight, repeat. Which would be fine if this movie wasn't perported to be a satire. The problem is, Shoot 'Em Up doesn't skewer mindless movie mayhem as much as it wallows in it.

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SPOILERS!

Forget carrots, a man grabs bullets and sticks his hand in a fire so the bullets shoot out of their shells and kill another man!

 

I love his movie!

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I just want to bump this up. I like the "bad movie" HDTGM episodes, but this would be in the rarer (and arguably more enjoyable) "batshit crazy" category of HDTGM (e.g.: Crank 1&2, F&F series, Face Off, etc.). It is a great film to watch knowing ABSOLUTELY nothing about it.

 

I hope June, Paul, and Jason eventually watch this film. They might love it.

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For some reason, in my head I mix this up with the Seth McFarlane western. I don't know why. I need to see this, though, if Monica Bellucci is in it. She's so beautiful it's almost uncanny valley territory.

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I'd totally forgotten about this movie. I'd love to hear it as an episode. Surely this is up there in the same category as Crank for it's batshit craziness. Albeit with a hell of a lot more ridiculousness. Death by character, sexy-time slaughter!

I might have to watch this again just for the hell of it.

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I watched this movie the other day. It was pretty fun and I think would make a good fun/crazy movie episode.

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