Jump to content

Recommended Posts

Academy award winner Jeremy Irons + brutal mashup of accents + CGI "what-not-to-dos" + Marlon Wayans = Fantastically good/bad time. Please skewer as only you three can.

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post

Honestly, the main thing I remember from watching a MSTed version of this was Jeremy Irons' performance. It's so hammy that it's surprising he didn't get a co-starring credit for his eyebrow movements. It almost makes me want to watch the movie again solely for him. And then I remember that Marlon Wayans plays a character named "Snails" who is the "comic relief," and who gets killed off halfway through at a poorly judged attempt at pathos, and I wish for a Jeremy Irons supercut instead.

Share this post


Link to post

There's also the Thieves' Guild which seems to only admit characters from the Star Wars cantina scene.

 

"Police! I just got robbed!"

"Did you see who did it?"

"Yeah, it was the red faced thief."

"The one from the Thieves' Guild?"

"You know it."

"Well, I guess we know who to arrest. This is the easiest job I've ever had."

Share this post


Link to post

Oh boy, this movie was horrible. My friends and I actually saw it on the big screen. This was the first movie that came to mind when I started listening to your podcast. Marlon Wayans' death was fantastically bad, if I recall correctly.

Share this post


Link to post

Here's the trailer

 

 

I'd like to see Blaine Capatch on this myself.

Share this post


Link to post

I have a friend that saw this six times in the theater, each time with a different group of gamer friends. I'm pretty sure that they made up for about a third of the overall ticket sales for this thing. I mean, not just at my theater, I'm talking worldwide.

Share this post


Link to post

LOTR kinda ruined it for fantasy movies, didn't it? In the pre-CGI days of the 1980s and early 90s, it was one of the cheapest and often silliest genres.

 

Having not seen the D&D movie, the thing I find hilarious is that it arrived at least 15 years too late.

Share this post


Link to post

Agreed - part 1 is funny bad, part 2 is just awful, but part 3...I think part 3 is one of those hidden gems that occasionally pops up in low-budget cinema. If you approach it as the main group being a reference to the way most teenagers actually play the game, it becomes a really rather clever bit of work - and the main relationship is pretty complex for a sword-and-sorcery film.

Share this post


Link to post

LOTR kinda ruined it for fantasy movies, didn't it? In the pre-CGI days of the 1980s and early 90s, it was one of the cheapest and often silliest genres.

 

Having not seen the D&D movie, the thing I find hilarious is that it arrived at least 15 years too late.

 

I would of sworn they already did this movie on HDTGM, but i guess i am thinking about in the name of the king. BTW cat & beard LOTR's is based on a real book this is based on a video game, so it's not got any legs to stand on from the first place.

 

this movie is on tv all the time and yet I've never seen all of it from beginning to end.

Share this post


Link to post

Already been mentioned but bring back Brian Posehn on this.

Posehn talking about the "Dungeons and Dragons" movie would have to be a million times more interesting than listening to him PLAY the actual "Dungeons and Dragons" game. It's not a knock on him at all, as I listen to a lot of podcasts about things I'm not particularly interested in because I like the personalities involved, but role-playing games may have proven to be my breakpoint. I lived with a gamer once, and when you have a living room full of those people in your own home, and you can't block out the sound no matter how many doors you put between you and them, it's truly maddening. I gave "Nerd Poker" a try for a few episodes, and I ordinarily love Posehn's stuff, but man, it's still a bunch of people taking an hour to describe how they're going to try to cross a room or go up some stairs in a manner that wasn't all that funny or entertaining for a bunch of comedians :(

Share this post


Link to post

Posehn talking about the "Dungeons and Dragons" movie would have to be a million times more interesting than listening to him PLAY the actual "Dungeons and Dragons" game. It's not a knock on him at all, as I listen to a lot of podcasts about things I'm not particularly interested in because I like the personalities involved, but role-playing games may have proven to be my breakpoint. I lived with a gamer once, and when you have a living room full of those people in your own home, and you can't block out the sound no matter how many doors you put between you and them, it's truly maddening. I gave "Nerd Poker" a try for a few episodes, and I ordinarily love Posehn's stuff, but man, it's still a bunch of people taking an hour to describe how they're going to try to cross a room or go up some stairs in a manner that wasn't all that funny or entertaining for a bunch of comedians :(

Yeah, I like Posehn's comedy but just can't get into Nerd Poker. Maybe because I don't have a background in tabletop role playing at all. I do really enjoy the D&D segments of Harmontown though; I guess because they're mostly riffing on each other and it's considerably less serious.

 

BTW cat & beard LOTR's is based on a real book this is based on a video game, so it's not got any legs to stand on from the first place.

Well, Dungeons & Dragon isn't primarily a video game, it's a pen and paper game with a rich history, actually. There's a ton of worlds in it with pretty dense histories and mythologies created over the last few decades by a lot of people. The problem with the D&D movie is not so much that it's ostensibly based on D&D but that it's just a bad movie with that label slapped on. People have made interesting entertainment with the premise of role playing games -- the much loved episode of Community, for example, or Earwolf's own Nerd Poker (which does have a lot of fans).

Share this post


Link to post

Cat & beard, shockly I did know that, just as you knew that lotr's is based on a book. but I bet the studio behind Dungeons & Dragon didn't know what you just said about it being based on a board game.

 

Because none of the dice and game players are shown in the game. I sort of take this movie as being based on the video game world. rather then the game it's self. It would of been more like tron but with D&D, that would of been cool.

 

not really sure why I pointed out LORs to you.. as it's clearly well known.

Share this post


Link to post

Cat & beard, shockly I did know that, just as you knew that lotr's is based on a book. but I bet the studio behind Dungeons & Dragon didn't know what you just said about it being based on a board game.

 

Because none of the dice and game players are shown in the game. I sort of take this movie as being based on the video game world. rather then the game it's self. It would of been more like tron but with D&D, that would of been cool.

 

not really sure why I pointed out LORs to you.. as it's clearly well known.

I didn't mean to insult your intelligence by pointing out D&D's origins. Apologies. And you are almost certainly correct about this being based on a D&D video game (something which I'm too lazy to look up right now); it absolutely feels like a terrible Uwe Boll video game adaptation.

 

I guess I was just trying to say that there is a huge amount of history and stories in the D&D world that they could have drawn on to create a movie. Like, how could you not even have a Mind Flayer or Gelatinous Cube?

Share this post


Link to post

My background in table top role playing certainly helps in my appeal to the Nerd Poker podcast, the BP&F crew are just great to listen in on their interactions with one another, reminds me of my own groups I used to meet with. I actually find Blain much more entertaining in his performances in this podcast than his professional performances. He's much more relaxed and is just trying to have his own kind of fun.

Share this post


Link to post

I tried listening to Nerd Poker, but really D&D is just not suited to it. Its too crunchy, too complicated (in rules), too simple (in how it tends to work with plot stuff), too slow. Was never able to derive any enjoyment from Nerd Poker (and I say this as someone who is nerdy enough to like listening to other people play rpgs, hell I've listened to some episodes from http://actualplay.roleplayingpublicradio.com/ [like Call of Cthulhu games like Bryson Springs and Lover in the Ice (which has a parasitic sex monster), or the Cyberpunk Lady Gaga 2.0 game], at least 5 times.)

--

 

As far as the movie goes, I think back when it came out, I actually liked it. Back then I thought whatsisface who played the main guy was cool, and the Wayans bro I dont know the name of was funny. Looking back on it, a lot about this movie is pretty damn stupid, and Halle Berry was way less hot in it then I remember (i also seem to remember her armor as looking cooler, and her hair as not being an off the rack halloween wig.)

 

Like the whole magic lock on the map thing, whatsisface says his father used to basically encrypt wagon schematics or some crap using the same magic touch gestures basically...so magic is apparently extremely common place, and yet also reserved only for the elite.

 

The thieves guild is just all kinds of lame, its like if Nickelodeon was commissioned to make a death trap course it would still be several times better. And Waynes bro is clearly not a master thief...he's just a kleptomaniac, and everyone else either indulges him, somehow can't see him blatantly stealing their shit, or is afraid to say anything because hes black. Its like in The Gamers when the thief rolls a nat 20 on a pickpocket roll and steals the guys pants without him noticing.

 

Does the dwarf ever actually do anything apart from his one moment talking about dwarf women? Its been a while since i've watched this movie, but all I remember of him is they pick him up randomly in the sewers (they really might as well have just had the 'hey, you look trustworthy' scene) and he does his shtick and is used as the showcase for the Worf effect the rest of the movie.

 

I also remember the wizard chick to be pretty cute, but also really shmacting up a storm to be all hoity throughout the whole thing.

 

 

Overall, its at least much better than Eragon (although, about the same acting level, people riding dragons, underwhelming magic...Jeremy Irons...could this a prequel?)

Share this post


Link to post

and the Wayans bro I dont know the name of was funny. Looking back on it, a lot about this movie is pretty damn stupid, and Halle Berry was way less hot in it then I remember (i also seem to remember her armor as looking cooler, and her hair as not being an off the rack halloween wig.)

Halle Berry is way less in this movie than you remember. Are you confusing her with Kristen Wilson?

http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0933723

Share this post


Link to post

Hmm, apparently so. (tbh, I dont pay close attention to actors usually, and would struggle to pick pretty much any of them that look even somewhat similar out of a crowd.) I just could only vaguely remember it, didnt look it up on imdb and just google image searched something like 'Halle Berry dungeons and dragons' and got a bunch of hits, so assumed that was her.

Share this post


Link to post

So I signed up for this forum to specifically get this Movie on the show. I just watched it again, because I was bored and wanted to make sure it was as bad as I remember. I think this would be so hilarious. It is just asking to be made fun of.

 

It has a 14/100 on metacritic. If that is not the perfect exmaple of how the hell did that movie get made, then I don't really know what is. I appreciated the MK and Street Fighter episodes, but I think this movie has those beat in all aspects.

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post

I got to see a preview screening of this with a friend and we could not stop laughing for days after. We became obsessed with all the reaction shots of the weirdly-useless dwarf played by Lee Arenberg (later the "Hello, poppet!" pirate in the POTC franchise.), as well as the playground logic at work in all those council/trial scenes between Jeremy Irons and Thora Birch.

Share this post


Link to post

I got to see a preview screening of this with a friend and we could not stop laughing for days after. We became obsessed with all the reaction shots of the weirdly-useless dwarf played by Lee Arenberg (later the "Hello, poppet!" pirate in the POTC franchise.), as well as the playground logic at work in all those council/trial scenes between Jeremy Irons and Thora Birch.

 

 

I always remember that actor as the dude who let Fred Savage and Co. into the video game tourney in the Wizard.

Share this post


Link to post

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

×