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JulyDiaz

Episode 155 - Airborne: LIVE!

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Such a simple fix for this movie: Parents go to a third world country, or some remote jungle or warzone or something. They literally told their son "we're going to a wealthy country that speaks the same language so you have to go to Ohio". I think the parents are into some dodgy shit and they're abandoning him. They're actually off for a sex tour of Thailand.

 

If that kid would have gone to Australia for school I can tell you that as soon as he said any of his idiotic fake surfer dude shit he would have the living shit beaten out of him and the movie would be over in 3 minutes.

 

Again I will repeat however, there are no schools in Australia.

I learned to read from the books that wash up on the shore now and then.

 

What's more telling about how they felt about their son is that they took the dog on their trip instead of him.

 

In further defense of Mitchell's parents, I assumed the whole issue with him not going is because of the Australian school schedule. I mean this movie seemingly takes place over winter as we know from the Christmas tree in his parents house and the snow. Given that American schools finish in June he'd just miss the last half of his school year including graduation. Now when he goes to Australia it's their summer. I believe that their school year runs all year starting in January and ending in December, but what if the six month study ends before the school year there does? He might be stuck in some kind of graduation limbo. Not to mention the questions raised about can he graduate from a school in Australia? Does he have the right credits? Is there some class he needs to graduate which he might be missing? Maybe things like Spanish and American history are very important to the parents but not covered in the Australian curriculum. There are so many moving parts I think his parents did the right thing not to send him to school in Australia.

Sounds well and good but in the world of this bonkers movie I think it just boils down to them hating his fucking guts. I mean really, who could love a kid who brings a goddamn surf board with him to Cincinnati and forgets to leave the more applicable means of transportation in his roller blades at home?

 

Another thing I wanted to mention in that Mini-Me hooked up with his wife through Seth Green isn't so far fetched when you consider Green has basically kept a Rolodex of celebrity friends from prior work in order to help fill out the cast of eight seasons of Robot Chicken along with multiple specials for that show.

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Anyway, with all this talk of the different school years and stuff, I have a question that's been bugging me. Are we to believe that Mitchell starts school on the first day (or first few days) of the school year? When he goes into speech class, they are giving introduction speeches about themselves. That would indicate it's the beginning of the school year, right? There's no fucking way a teacher's going to be like, "Hey, now that it's almost Christmas, let's get to know each other through expositional lists of character traits."

 

So that would lead one to believe that it's the beginning of the school year. But when Mitchell flies in, there's snow on the ground. The best data I could find suggests that the average first snowfall in Cincinnati is November 28. And the earliest recorded snowfall was October 19. Then, I looked up the data on snowfall in Cincinnati from 1993, and the first snowfall was on October 30 that year. Assuming this movie was set in the year it came out, that would mean it's almost Halloween (at the earliest) when this class is FINALLY getting to know each other.

 

This teacher should not have his fucking job. At all.

 

The start of serious snow in Cincinnati can vary greatly, but usually you don't see the white death until January. A white Christmas in Cincy is typically flurries if it happens, but yes growing up you would occasionally get serious snowfall as early as late October, but that's pretty rare. Cincinnati actually sits in a slightly different climactic zone than the rest of Ohio, it's often several degrees warmer than even Dayton, OH which is only about 50 miles away. I think it has to do with those hills that were featured so prominently in the movie and the river.

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Paul had a hard time placing the actor Patrick Thomas O'Brien (who played Mitchell's uncle in this movie). He had a lot of IMDb credits to sift through, so I wasn't sure what I knew him from either, and then . . . it all came together. Paul mentioned in the podcast that Airborne felt like an episode of Saved by the Bell, and indeed there it was: O'Brien appeared multiple times on the show, as the nerdy math teacher Mr. Dewey:

 

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mr-dewey-noisemaker.jpg

 

1464625481_13305110_1590541351276145_3754552021537594946_o.jpg

 

Paul, consider this mystery solved!

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Hey guys, this movie shares a connection with Highlander II.

 

Stuart Copeland.

 

Does that mean "Very Bad Things" or the Steven Dorff vehicle "Deuces Wild" is coming up next to fulfill the trilogy?

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Okay, I would like to shift the conversation back a little bit towards hockey and this film. The relationship between hockey and this movie is fraught at best.

 

As our esteemed Ohioan members have pointed out, hockey isn't a major sport in Cincinnati - there is a pro team but it's not like it is in Canada or Minnesota or something. So, hockey's not such a big deal. YET. The only school team that we see or hear of is the hockey team, and this doesn't really feel a sanctioned school game, with the kids picking the team on the fly in the hallway, and no coaches to be seen. Okay, so we've established all this already. Except hockey is set out to be a huge deal in this world. The twins wear matching Cincinnati Cyclones jerseys in every scene they're in. Wiley introduces himself to the class as being all about hockey, he loves hockey, he lives hockey, breathes hockey - but when he's put into the game, he confesses that he can't skate, and only likes to play hockey on his Nintendo. BUT. Wiley's father is established as an award-winning Zamboni driver. They actually have a line in the movie about how he won an award for being the best Zamboni driver in town. His license plate says 'my Other Car is a Zamboni'. Yet when Wiley says that he played hockey, dad doesn't seem familiar with the sport.

 

"Wiley play hockey? I gave him a puck! A cup? You can't win a Stanley Cup unless you're on a team"

 

Here in Canada, Zamboni drivers are the rink rockstars. It's a huge privilege to get anywhere near a Zamboni and the guys who do it are hardcore in the community. There's just NO WAY that Wiley's dad gets to drive a Zamboni and not be familiar with the sport, and if he's working in a rink, how is it possible his son hasn't learned how to skate? This makes absolutely no sense.

 

Add to this, the game between the Centrals and the Preps is billed as having been going on for years. Like, it's been so long since the Centrals won that it's really bugging them. It's set up like some kind of finale to a Mighty Ducks movie, except the Preps don't have fancy uniforms up against the rag-tag Centrals, like you'd expect, everyone looks like they forgot their gear at home that day and had to use whatever was in lost property. And for a school with such a passion for hockey (and a pretty nice outdoor covered rink with a scoreboard), why can't they find guys to play? Like, picking Wiley in the hallway and Mitchell from the stands? Is this seriously the best they can do? Not to mention Cam Bert's earlier point, about the fact that menacing gang member Snake is actually the Latino Wayne Gretzky in disguise.

 

And what about Rosenblatt? Poor old Rosenblatt, very clearly a member of the team prior to the film starting, is seen in the film class with a broken nose, unable to make his speech, but never really sighted again. He seems like a throwaway character, but when the Centrals declare that they won't graduate losers by getting beaten by the Preps again, what do they all dedicate their future win to?

 

FOR ROSENBLATT!

 

They all cry, rousing us all around a character who will never play hockey, never skate in the race, never actually utter a line.

 

Seriously, guys, WHY was hockey made such a big part of this movie if no one was willing to really invest in hockey overall?

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To Scott's point regarding nonsensical dialog that should either be removed or re-written, here's a small moment that bugged me a lot.

 

Mitchell: You were the first smiling face in three weeks.

 

Nikki: Thank you.

 

Um..."thank you" isn't remotely an appropriate response to the comment he just made. It's not like he was waxing rhapsodically on the beauty of her smile or anything like that. He was simply making an objective observation. It would make just as much sense if she thanked him for telling her that she has a nose. No, he should be the one saying "Thank you" because her smile makes him feel good. And she should respond with either, "You're welcome," "I'm sorry it's been so rough for you," or, if she's feeling kind of flirty, "I'm glad I could make you feel better."

 

And I get it. Sometimes you're at a restaurant and the server tells you to enjoy your food and you respond with "You too," but that isn't the kind of awkwardness that's being played here--although it might have been more charming if it had. No, what I think was happening was the writer was so busy working on his super dope "Speech Teacher" character that he completely forgot to make sure the rest of his characters weren't speaking complete gibberish.

 

I also wanted to point out, since it happens around this same time, it was really cool of the city bus driver to wait so patiently for Nikki to formalize her Friday night plans with Mitchell. That was really sweet.

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Also, since I'm on the subject of ridiculous things I noticed in this movie:

 

The moment in the diner when Blaine grabs Gloria and decides he wants to dance-rape her awkwardly in the middle of the room has a source. I invite you to join me in the following clip from 1989's Back to the Future Part III where Mad Dog Tannen dance-rapes Doc Brown's beloved Clara. (The timestamp didn't work, so fast forward to 38 seconds in)

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0c-UIkfsk1U&t=0m38s

 

Come on, it's the same thing! I see you, Airborne director!

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I also wanted to point out, since it happens around this same time, it was really cool of the city bus driver to wait so patiently for Nikki to formalize her Friday night plans with Mitchell. That was really sweet.

 

Right before Nikki boards, this lady gets off the bus. So I think the lady was holding up the bus. Of course, Nikki couldn't have known that, so I think she was lucky that the bus didn't leave without her. Like I said, I was really into this movie, lol.

 

pPN4ENK.png

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Right before Nikki boards, this lady gets off the bus. So I think the lady was holding up the bus. Of course, Nikki couldn't have known that, so I think she was lucky that the bus didn't leave without her. Like I said, I was really into this movie, lol.

 

 

Well, damnit...

 

denied_encino_man.gif

 

(But I'm with you. This movie was the best. I can't believe more people don't get it. I mean, it's obvious why Wiley has all those outfits, right? I mean, Mitchell basically spells it out for the audience after the montage is over. How are you and I (and Cakebug and Cam Bert) the only ones that get this movie? It was amazing from start to finish.)

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And what about Rosenblatt? Poor old Rosenblatt, very clearly a member of the team prior to the film starting, is seen in the film class with a broken nose, unable to make his speech, but never really sighted again. He seems like a throwaway character, but when the Centrals declare that they won't graduate losers by getting beaten by the Preps again, what do they all dedicate their future win to?

 

 

I felt worse for poor Travis. Oh, who's Travis? Just the guy they bench so Mitchell can play in their roller hockey game over in the Thunderdome. During the first game they were actually short players and needed subs, but not for the second one. I 100% get why the rest of the team gets behind Mitchell after that, but you know there's one guy just seething on the sidelines at the glory that was robbed of him.

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(But I'm with you. This movie was the best. I can't believe more people don't get it. I mean, it's obvious why Wiley has all those outfits, right? I mean, Mitchell basically spells it out for the audience after the montage is over. How are you and I (and Cakebug and Cam Bert) the only ones that get this movie? It was amazing from start to finish.)

 

Right? Earlier, when another poster asked why this movie is rated a 6.2 on imdb, I thought, "I know! It should be higher!"

 

So do you think "be yourself" is the message of the movie? I think it's "when life gives you lemons, pull down its pants." By de-pantsing Blaine, not only did he get revenge, but he also got his girl back and gained the respect of the bullies. All his problems were solved.

 

Also, I ended up Googling hockey underwear and did you guys know that some people wear garter belts for hockey? I had no idea.

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I think I'm starting to like Cincinnati.

 

 

 

"It should be called EarthBound"

 

One of my favourite games of all time.

EarthBound_Box.jpg

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Right? Earlier, when another poster asked why this movie is rated a 6.2 on imdb, I thought, "I know! It should be higher!"

 

So do you think "be yourself" is the message of the movie? I think it's "when life gives you lemons, pull down its pants." By de-pantsing Blaine, not only did he get revenge, but he also got his girl back and gained the respect of the bullies. All his problems were solved.

 

Also, I ended up Googling hockey underwear and did you guys know that some people wear garter belts for hockey? I had no idea.

 

I agree 100%. I mean, I hate to bring this up since it was literally the cold open of the episode, but did you, at any second, have any trouble following the thread of this movie?

 

Surfer kid moves to Cincinnati. When he's not surfing, he likes to rollerblade. Cincinnati kids are bothered by new kid because he's not like them. They like to play hockey, but when there's no ice, they like to play hockey on rollerblades. Rollerblades therefore become what is often referred to as "common ground." Or, to put it another way, if there were a Venn Diagram depicting "extreme" sports and "traditional" sports, rollerblading would be the area of overlap. It's like no one on the episode could handle the fact that people can have multiple interests...

 

Also, to Kumail's point regarding Mitchell arriving centered and leaving centered, that's not exactly true either. Yes, Mitchell arrives pretty Ghandi'd out, but he is also resentful of where he is in life. He's dismissive of the bullies and lashes out at them because a) they seem less enlightened than himself and b ) he will be leaving in a few months and he doesn't feel like they're "worth it"--his words. What he learns, through the shared magic of rollerblading, is that just because someone has a different point of view doesn't automatically make them a "bad guy." That's not to say there aren't bad guys out there (I.e. The preps), but it's important to not get so hung up on your minor differences that you ignore the real threat. Oops. Not only was that topical, but I also seem to have just inadvertently answered the question "who is the bad guy" too...;)

 

This isn't to say this movie is flawless--far from it. In fact, it was one of the movies I recommended in my very first post on the forums, but I do think that some people are watching it with their adult sophistication turned on and ignoring that, ultimately, this is a movie for kids. When you're a pre-teen (this movie's prime demographic) and you feel like everyone's out to get you (while also trying to figure out who you are and chaffing under the yoke of an unfair world that you are powerless to change) just fitting in is stakes enough. This movie must be watched with the innocence of a child.

 

I for one would rather watch Airborne a million more times than watch one more nauseating and pretentious second of a movie like Zardoz.

 

Also, that's very interesting about the garter belts. I was not aware of that either.

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Also, that's very interesting about the garter belts. I was not aware of that either.

 

Like Bull Durham!

 

c96aa168-7770-4231-8a9b-af8aa4942b3f.jpg

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Correction:

 

When Mitchell goes off the roof of the parking garage, there are a few construction workers that watch him make the jump onto the ramp, though from the various shot cuts, they go from being there to not being there.

 

As for the PB & J Burger, I've tried that at a local restaurant and it is maybe the most disgusting thing I've ever eaten. The jelly actually works well with a burger for a salty/sweet kind of mix, but the peanut butter melts and coagulates and is totally inedible.

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I actually work with the Locations Manager from this movie. I can't wait to ask her all about this movie!!!

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I agree 100%. I mean, I hate to bring this up since it was literally the cold open of the episode, but did you, at any second, have any trouble following the thread of this movie?

 

No, I didn't have trouble following this movie - it was as if Mitchell was on a conveyor belt and things just happened to him in order. Not complicated at all.

 

As a jaded adult, I think I enjoyed this movie as much as a pre-teen would. You're right, this movie is far from being perfect, but I didn't hate any of the characters and rather enjoyed the light hearted humor.

 

Ugh, Zardoz. I couldn't finish it.

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This movie plays out like any other sports movie from the era. They just forgot to write the part about the youth center getting bought by the preppy kids father.

 

Add that in and this movie suddenly makes a million times more sense.

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Another Cincinnatian weighing in...

 

1) There is a Devils Backbone road in the Greater Cincinnati area and its twisty as hell, but its nowhere near where they are in the movie.

 

2) This is actually the 2nd time Edie McClurg played a Cincinnatian, she was also Herb Tarlek's wife in multiple episodes of WKRP in Cincinnati.

 

3) Verne Troyer led the chicken dance at Cincinnati's Oktoberfest in 2002.

 

4) I think the general appreciation in Cincinnati for the movie is not because we ever thought it was good, but because several movies have shot in Cincinnati, but mostly they use Cincinnati for Old New York City (Lost in Yonkers for example) or its fairly incidental that they occur in Cincinnati (the beginning of Rain Man, Traffic, etc.). Airborne is one of the only ones where the fact that its taking place in Cincinnati is a real plot point.

 

5) The PB&J burger is specific to that place, its not a general Cincinnati thing. Cincinnati style chili would have been more appropriate.

 

Where is Devil's Backbone?

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How about the fact that Mitchell almost murdered someone. In his meet cute with Nikki he tells a story about how he used to be a bully on the waves and runs over a kid with his stick. The kid almost dies and is permanently scarred. It is the reason Mitchell is so Gandhi.

 

Shouldn't there have been criminal charges and a civil lawsuit. Who is paying for this victim's medical expenses? I think that is why his parents are shipping him off to Cincinnati. They don't trust him on the waves of Australia to not kill someone.

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In the diner scene, as Nikki and her friend return to the booth, we catch Wiley and Mitchell at the tail end of a conversation. Wiley says with a laugh, "My Dad shot her, it was weird." Personally, this line sounds the most "Seth Green" of all his lines and I have no doubt that he ad-libbed it, but it does kind of want me to bring back a forum game that we last saw during The Boy Next Door Episode.

 

Basically, can someone please tell me what the rest of that anecdote was? The only rule is that there are no rules and it has to end with lines spoken in the movie.

 

Good Luck!

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In the diner scene, as Nikki and her friend return to the booth, we catch Wiley and Mitchell at the tail end of a conversation. Wiley says with a laugh, "My Dad shot her, it was weird." Personally, this line sounds the most "Seth Green" of all his lines and I have no doubt that he ad-libbed it, but it does kind of want me to bring back a forum game that we last saw during The Boy Next Door Episode.

 

Basically, can someone please tell me what the rest of that anecdote was? The only rule is that there are no rules and it has to end with lines spoken in the movie.

 

Good Luck!

His mom ate the PB&J sandwich and went rabid as it fucked with her diabetes, his dad had to shoot her with a tranquilizer that was mixed with her insulin. It was weird.

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Kumail on sports:

 

W5zzYiG.jpg

Kumail on being shocked:

 

75379507.jpg

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