Episode 155 - Airborne: LIVE!

[FisterRoboto 7499]

i still think it's kind of weird that Edie McClurg basically tells Mitchell to get her son laid. She's like, "Oh, Mitchell, you get girls? Cool. Can you teach my son?"

 

I'm also really confused by what kind of character Seth Green is supposed to be. When they first show him in the airport, he looks like he's trying for the kind of weird Bohemian aesthetic that surfaced in the early 90s (all black clothing, circular glasses with a tent, that fucking weird-ass pageboy haircut). Then they go into his room, and that's the first time I noticed the fringe on his jacket, which was the first of many times I questioned who this character was supposed to be. His room was kind of how I would expect, and then he grabs a poster of a woman in a swimsuit and stands in the middle of his bed to show it to Mitchell.

 

I get that he's a teenager and all, but of all the things in his room, why is this the one thing he needs to show Mitchell?

 

And that's just the beginning of his characterization. Much like trying to fit four movies into one, I feel like Seth Green is 3-4 characters jammed into one.

[Ofcoursemyhorse 1043]

i still think it's kind of weird that Edie McClurg basically tells Mitchell to get her son laid. She's like, "Oh, Mitchell, you get girls? Cool. Can you teach my son?"

 

I'm also really confused by what kind of character Seth Green is supposed to be. When they first show him in the airport, he looks like he's trying for the kind of weird Bohemian aesthetic that surfaced in the early 90s (all black clothing, circular glasses with a tent, that fucking weird-ass pageboy haircut). Then they go into his room, and that's the first time I noticed the fringe on his jacket, which was the first of many times I questioned who this character was supposed to be. His room was kind of how I would expect, and then he grabs a poster of a woman in a swimsuit and stands in the middle of his bed to show it to Mitchell.

 

I get that he's a teenager and all, but of all the things in his room, why is this the one thing he needs to show Mitchell?

 

And that's just the beginning of his characterization. Much like trying to fit four movies into one, I feel like Seth Green is 3-4 characters jammed into one.

 

 

And with the fashion Montage we learn that his closet is filled with a variety of styles. Leading me to think that Wiley is going through a Rose\ Color of Night situation.

[sycasey 2.0 2301]

And with the fashion Montage we learn that his closet is filled with a variety of styles. Leading me to think that Wiley is going through a Rose\ Color of Night situation.

 

Maybe he's a theater kid? It's the only explanation for all the costumes.

[FisterRoboto 7499]

 

Maybe he's a theater kid? It's the only explanation for all the costumes.

For the first couple outfits, I thought, "Oh, maybe his parents/grandparents just buy him stuff because they don't really know what he likes." I really liked Tigger from Winnie the Pooh when I was a very young child, and my grandmother used to buy me clothes at Christmas with Tigger on them until I was well into high school. They would just sit in my closet because I feel guilty just throwing away (or even returning) gifts that people give me.

 

So I thought "Maybe his grandparents just get him terrible clothes." Then some of the other outfits come up, and I'm like, "Oh, that's probably not the case..."

[RyanSz 3140]

i still think it's kind of weird that Edie McClurg basically tells Mitchell to get her son laid. She's like, "Oh, Mitchell, you get girls? Cool. Can you teach my son?"

That's bringing back bad memories of that old HBO show Cathouse where the pilot episode had a mom taking her son to the Moonlite Bunny Ranch to lose his virginity, and she was in the room at least talking over the price with the worker and what that would get her son. Wonder if she was kinda inspired by this movie.

[MichaelEnnis 5]

I have a theory that Mitchell Goosen's name is a portmanteau using Pete "Maverick" MITCHELL's last name and Nick "GOOSE" Bradshaw from Top Gun. Just a hunch.

[Cakebug Tranch 6873]

I have a theory that Mitchell Goosen's name is a portmanteau using Pete "Maverick" MITCHELL's last name and Nick "GOOSE" Bradshaw from Top Gun. Just a hunch.

I endorse this theory heartily. And then the mystery of how he's never Airborne is answered. It's in his DNA.

[Jack Frost 252]

That's bringing back bad memories of that old HBO show Cathouse where the pilot episode had a mom taking her son to the Moonlite Bunny Ranch to lose his virginity, and she was in the room at least talking over the price with the worker and what that would get her son. Wonder if she was kinda inspired by this movie.

yyyuch.... There's a bubbling pot of issues.

[mikemac 49]

BTW-Mitchell bringing his surfboard to Cincinnati reminded me of this:

 

THEN:

 

 

NOW:

 

[mikemac 49]

Is this the article about the movie that Paul was talking about?

 

http://moviemezzanine.com/the-dream-of-92-cincinnati-airborne-and-the-cinematic-capital-that-never-was/

[Cakebug Tranch 6873]

Is this the article about the movie that Paul was talking about?

 

http://moviemezzanin...that-never-was/

A great read, thanks!

[mikemac 49]

Overall a good article, some factual errors though (the greenhouse is the Krohn Conservatory in Eden Park), the biggest being the statement that Cincinnati has no national landmarks. Well excuse me, but here is one Cincinnati landmark singing about another:

 

[Cameron H. 23786]

Here's a phrase I never thought I would type: I would like to talk a little bit more about Airborne's pooping scene.

 

There's a lot to cover, so I figure the best way to do so is just take it step by step.

 

To begin, the bullies sneak into the bathroom as Mitchell is taking his comfortable dump and destroy all the toilet paper in the restroom. In the next scene, we see Mitchell walking funny down a darkened and empty hallway as he picks the shit out of his ass. So my first question is: In a school that size, there has to be more than one bathroom, right? I mean, yeah, what happened sucks, and having to locate another bathroom isn't an ideal solution, but it's better than nothing, isn't it?

 

So anyway, he's walking down this empty hallway when he runs into Wiley and they head for home. Two things here. Number one: Do you know what's weirder than taking a relaxation dump at school? Taking it after the school day is already over! I think most people in his situation would just say, "Screw that noise! I'll just hold it until I get home." Why put yourself through that? Number two: When Mitchell runs into Nikki later that day, he tells her that she is the first smiling face he's seen in "three weeks." That means, every day for almost a month, Mitchell and Wiley have been subjected to all manner of torment. How is it, after all this time, those two aren't already glued at the hip? If I were either of them, I wouldn't be doing anything by myself, particularly any activities that might leave me especially vulnerable. I mean, they already got Mitchell in the bathroom once before! High School is Natural Selection in its purest form, and those two chuckledicks need to learn how to fucking adapt.

 

Next, Mitchell gets home and collapses on the hallway floor. That's right: he sits his rashy, shit-stained ass right on the floor. Look, I get it. Things are tough right now. But, rather than grinding those skidmarks any deeper into your poor, defenseless underwear, maybe take a fucking shower and get into a nice change of clothes. How about that? You can mope all you want to later. Oh? What's that? No time to shower and change because your roller blades just came in, and even though you could barely walk a minute ago--you know, on account of all the shit--you've just got to go shreddin'? Whatever you say, brah...

 

Which leads me to my final point: he doesn't change his fucking clothes! Okay, look, I honestly don't know if he took a shower or not, maybe he did and just put his stank-ass clothes back on, but considering how stoked he was to see his blades, I'd guess the answer to that question is a big fat no. So now, close your eyes and just imagine, as Mitchell is flirting with Nikki and gazing deeply into her eyes at the botanical gardens...there is a rashy, chaffing, sweaty, shit-stained horror show going on in his pants!

 

And that's it for me with the scatological stuff...I'm done.

[FisterRoboto 7499]

Number two:

Sorry...this is all I read of that.

[Cameron H. 23786]

Sorry...this is all I read of that.

 

That was essentially the point.

 

 

Smartass

 

[Cakebug Tranch 6873]

Which leads me to my final point: he doesn't change his fucking clothes! Okay, look, I honestly don't know if he took a shower or not, maybe he did and just put his stank-ass clothes back on, but considering how stoked he was to see his blades, I'd guess the answer to that question is a big fat no. So now, close your eyes and just imagine, as Mitchell is flirting with Nikki and gazing deeply into her eyes at the botanical gardens...there is a rashy, chaffing, sweaty, shit-stained horror show going on in his pants!

 

And that's it for me with the scatological stuff...I'm done.

 

Best til last. C+O of the week, hands down.

 

[tomspanks 9039]

Here's a phrase I never thought I would type: I would like to talk a little bit more about Airborne's pooping scene.

 

Well, if you remember, he was reading a magazine while, erm, doing his business. So I think it's safe to assume that he used the magazine pages to, erm, finish. I mean, I know the magazine paper is rough, but isn't that better than nothing? Maybe he was walking awkwardly because he was uncomfortable after using paper.

[Cameron H. 23786]

 

Well, if you remember, he was reading a magazine while, erm, doing his business. So I think it's safe to assume that he used the magazine pages to, erm, finish. I mean, I know the magazine paper is rough, but isn't that better than nothing? Maybe he was walking awkwardly because he was uncomfortable after using paper.

 

That was a surfing magazine. He wasn't going to sully a single page of that. Plus, there's no way he got a good wipe with those glossy pages. Everything I wrote still stands!

 

 

 

[FisterRoboto 7499]

And that's it for me with the scatological stuff...I'm done.

[Cameron H. 23786]

 

POOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOP!!!

 

Okay, now I'm done.

[BubbleTeaButt 30]

That stair-climbing / ass-shifting scene disturbed me as well. At worst all he needed to do was flush a few times to get a bowl full of clean water and perform a "manual cleanse". Wash your hands with soap and water in the sinks afterwards. Good as new. LPT

 

My two issues with this movie were these:

 

2) This is essentially a 1993 and less punk version of the 1986 epic, THRASHIN'. The skateboarding movie where a chilled out skater travels to Los angeles and immediately gets into skirmishes with the local tough-guy skater gang, the Daggers. Our "hero" falls into a relationship with a hottie Chrissy (Nicky?) but she ends up being the brother of Hook, the top bad ass of the Daggers!! Whhatttt?? There are then numerous chase scenes through city streets, radical sports montages, meet cutes,or team battles. In Thrashin there is the Joust which is probably on par with the first or second roller hockey games. Thrashin ends with an epic downhill skate race with teams that assist each other in the same slingshot method that appeared in this movie. At the end the enemies come together out of respect. The dude gets the girl. etc. I didn't hate it or anything, just saying it was remarkably similar..

 

1) My main point and Cakebug brought this up earlier. I agree that there would have been more injuries than indicated from that final downhill (and uphill at times?) race but I don't think we actually saw many deaths. There were some crashes in the Devils BackBone race for sure but these are young dudes with state of the art safety gear. They would be OK. I could see maybe several broken bones from most of the falls shown on camera. Lessons learned scenarios.

 

The exception however is Blaine, the Prep. Mitchell forced him into and over a guardrail at speed, possibly breaking his legs due to the impact, then he falls a substantial distance into winter or early spring frigid Cincinnati river water, wearing rollerblades, aka anchors, on his feet. Not a single person seems to come to his aid. I postulate Mitchell just effectively killed Blaine and without any thought or even mild concern for Blaine went over to Jack, his recent enemy, to be cool and offer to finish the race together.. WTF? That is some cold hearted shit right there.

[Cameron H. 23786]

I postulate Mitchell just effectively killed Blaine and without any thought or even mild concern for Blaine went over to Jack, his recent enemy, to be cool and offer to finish the race together.. WTF? That is some cold hearted shit right there.

 

Meanwhile, Phil Collins, a friend of Blaine's parents, observes all of this from a parking level above--too far away to save his godson--and feverishly scribbles out the lyrics to "In the Air Tonight" on the discarded wrapper of a PB&J burger...

[Cakebug Tranch 6873]

Meanwhile, Phil Collins, a friend of Blaine's parents, observes all of this from a parking level above--too far away to save his godson--and feverishly scribbles out the lyrics to "In the Air Tonight" on the discarded wrapper of a PB&J burger...

You're on fire this week, dude.

 

No one should be this witty at 5.30 in the morning.

[Cameron H. 23786]

 

You're on fire this week, dude.

 

No one should be this witty at 5.30 in the morning.

 

[Cam Bert 8145]

Okay a few more thoughts on Airborne

 

1. Let's talk about the first "prank" played on Mitchell with the desk that falls apart. There is a lot luck that went into this prank. This is only the second day Mitchell has been there yet they knew what his first class of the day was? They also didn't make it so that was the only free desk. When he walks in there are three free desks. What if he sat in the wrong one? Also what if he didn't decide to lean back? All I'm saying is they got lucky.

 

2. How is this school not pissed at the hockey team? Ruining all the toilet paper in the boys room, covering the stairs in water, destroying desks, these are all things that effect the other students. Why is nobody calling them out on it? "Look you are the idiots who got the new kid from California who has no hockey experience to play and he messes up. What did you expect? Now I have to write Spanish notes on my lap and had to go half way across the school to use the toilet and I slipped on some wet stairs in the process! We get it, you're mad but it's your fault so just move on!" Also why are they trying to murder Seth Green? The car thing could have legitimately kill him and he really didn't do anything that wrong. He just wasn't that good. Also if you only have six people on the entire team, why even have a team? Hockey is a very exhaustive sport. No way they're playing a whole period let alone a full game with just six.

 

3. Is the game in the rink even a legitimate game? Like a sanctioned school game? It sure seems that way, but yet when Blane and Jack get into it Jack decrees "first one to three wins." How can he just make up rules like that? Also, why not just play a full game? You could play for hours and if they were really that good not even get three goals. This combined with the "no rules but the first team with three people wins" in the final race just proves that these kids love the number 3 and don't really get what rules are.

 

4. Mitchell shows up with his stick and a half full back pack. Yet he seemingly also has a large wardrobe. Is he buying new clothes? Is he just an efficient packer? Why did he bring shorts to Cincinnati in the winter?