Episode 158 - Body Parts: LIVE!

[Elektra Boogaloo 3371]

Everyone knows that House Highgarden is a paper tiger.

Garlan Tyrell can fight off two knights at once. How dare you. (That's right, I'm a book nerd.)

 

On the G&G, front:

 

CAMERON, I AM NOT DOING WELL, PAUL. WHAT THE EFF DID THEY DO TO COLLEEEEEEN?

 

 

 

 

I have a lot of thoughts about Madame Gao, as you might have guessed. I also think she ran away from K'un L'un, and is like from there. I think she's immortal, because she refers to it as like Heaven, and was cast out for some reason. And I did a long rant about this in my last tumblr post but I can do it again, I have issues with her being part of the Hand because she associated with the Hand in "Daredevil" but wasn't part of it. So to have her be a leader of the Hand in Iron Fist annoyed me insofar as it was inconsistent with her character (also she usually spoke Chinese in Daredevil). But I sort of let it slide just because I really love her, obviously.

 

So I made up a theory that she joined the Hand in protest of Danny becoming the Iron Fist. Like she hates this dude for leaving K'un L'un unprotected, not knowing how to use the Iron Fist, and generally being a shitty person. So now she's on Team Hand since they are the Iron Fist's enemies.

 

After watching the series, I'm kind of on her side. Like, yes, please kill him.

 

EDITED: OR maybe it's a Jacob's Ladder tv series. Danny actually dies in the plane crash and this is his fever dream about what his future would've been. He was clearly a messed up kid. That's why we have to keep seeing the same goddamn shots of the snow all the time.

[Ofcoursemyhorse 1043]

Anyone looking for a stand-alone Drunken Master spin-off should just watch Drunken Master 2 with Jackie Chan.

Fair warning though watching old Jackie Chan movies will make every subsequent movie fight look like garbage.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Also how in good decency has this thread turned into a multi page discussion on Netflix's most mediocre Marvel show to date with nary a peep on Legion which is a week away from its season finale and is knocking it out of the fucking park.

 

 

 

[Elektra Boogaloo 3371]

Also how in good decency has this thread turned into a multi page discussion on Netflix's most mediocre Marvel show to date with nary a peep on Legion which is a week away from its season finale and is knocking it out of the fucking park.

This is the BAD movie podcast so we're talking about the BAD NETFLIX SHOW. Duh.

 

 

... also I found myself not really feeling LEGION due to a recent mental hospital stay. I only watched one episode.

[Cameron H. 23786]

WHAT THE EFF DID THEY DO TO COLLEEEEEEN?

 

 

 

 

 

 

My cynical answer would be that while watching dailies they realized that she was way cooler than Danny and decided, in order to encourage viewers to root for him over her, to surgically remove her agency and everything about her that made her cool. Their Plan B, since Danny was so terrible and she was so cool, was to have her tell us constantly how cool and awesome she thinks he is. This way they'll try to trick us into thinking he's cool by association. Much like the series itself--they failed.

 

My in-universe answer is the debilitating mystical disease that makes Danny terminally stupid and lame is sexually transmitted.

 

[tomspanks 9039]

Anyone looking for a stand-alone Drunken Master spin-off should just watch Drunken Master 2 with Jackie Chan.

Fair warning though watching old Jackie Chan movies will make every subsequent movie fight look like garbage.

 

I like the first Drunken Master movie too. I just love Yuen Woo Ping.

[Cameron H. 23786]

Also how in good decency has this thread turned into a multi page discussion on Netflix's most mediocre Marvel show to date with nary a peep on Legion which is a week away from its season finale and is knocking it out of the fucking park.

 

For one, for me personally, good is boring. I feel like watching something "good" is a passive experience. You sit there. You absorb the media. You say, "Bravo." You move on. Afterward you may say, "Wasn't that good?" And someone will reply, "Yes, it was." *yawn*

 

I want to be involved. I want a discussion. I want to make fun of shit that I don't understand.

 

Which leads me to the fact that I feel that more can be learned from an artistic failure than an artistic success. Why did this fail where others didn't? What mistakes did they make? What could have been?

 

And finally, I wasn't feeling Legion. I watched the first few minutes, but it just wasn't doing anything for me. At least IF frustrated me. It angered me. It made me laugh (unintentionally).

 

But, if you want to talk Legion, feel free. Convince me to give it another chance

[Elektra Boogaloo 3371]

"Iron Fist" is the Steven Seagal of Marvel adaptations.

 

[Cameron H. 23786]

"Iron Fist" is the Steven Seagal of Marvel adaptations.

 

 

Iron Fist is the humiliated carrot being thrust at Seagal's creepy gross Van Dyke of Marvel adaptations.

[FisterRoboto 7499]

For the record, I would have watched THE FUCK out of an Iron Fist series if Steven Seagal was the lead.

[RyanSz 3140]

For one, for me personally, good is boring. I feel like watching something "good" is a passive experience. You sit there. You absorb the media. You say, "Bravo." You move on. Afterward you may say, "Wasn't that good?" And someone will reply, "Yes, it was." *yawn*

 

I want to be involved. I want a discussion. I want to make fun of shit that I don't understand.

 

Which leads me to the fact that I feel that more can be learned from an artistic failure than an artistic success. Why did this fail where others didn't? What mistakes did they make? What could have been?

 

And finally, I wasn't feeling Legion. I watched the first few minutes, but it just wasn't doing anything for me. At least IF frustrated me. It angered me. It made me laugh (unintentionally).

 

But, if you want to talk Legion, feel free. Convince me to give it another chance

I have to wonder on Iron Fist of how much of the crews involved with the other Marvel shows were involved with the making of this one because there is a stark difference in quality. It also makes me wonder who is involved with the making of the Defenders, which I assume is close to completion for the release later this year. After watching Jones' fighting I have to believe that he just wasn't willing to put the full effort into learning a new form of stage fighting after what he learned for Game of Thrones, because his movements are slow and plodding, as if he was still swinging a broadsword in King's Landing.

 

As for Legion, I watched the first episode and was interested to see where it went, but it got put on the back burner as I continued to binge other shows like GoT, Hand of God, and Outcast. I'm going to get back to it eventually, I just don't know when.

[Ofcoursemyhorse 1043]

For one, for me personally, good is boring. I feel like watching something "good" is a passive experience. You sit there. You absorb the media. You say, "Bravo." You move on. Afterward you may say, "Wasn't that good?" And someone will reply, "Yes, it was." *yawn*

 

I want to be involved. I want a discussion. I want to make fun of shit that I don't understand.

 

Which leads me to the fact that I feel that more can be learned from an artistic failure than an artistic success. Why did this fail where others didn't? What mistakes did they make? What could have been?

 

And finally, I wasn't feeling Legion. I watched the first few minutes, but it just wasn't doing anything for me. At least IF frustrated me. It angered me. It made me laugh (unintentionally).

 

But, if you want to talk Legion, feel free. Convince me to give it another chance :)/>

 

I love watching bad movies and TV shows as much as anyone. But I disagree that more can be gleamed from a shitty movie or show rather than one that was so good it sticks with you weeks on end. For one it seems infinitely harder to quantify what makes something good, not too mention its entirely subjective. Whereas it's pretty easy to spot stilted dialogue, clichéd characters, obvious plot holes etc. in something bad. I think there's plenty to be learned from both.

 

I'd also disagree that watching something good is a passive experience. Reading a recap that breaks down an episode on some level youd never even dreamed of or talking to a friend about something after it airs and finding out about something you missed is just as interesting as any discussion as to why something was shit.

 

To me trying to decipher why Aida does what she does at the end of Ex Machina will always be equally fun as trying to figure out why Jeff Fahey was wearing so many fucking turtlenecks in Body Parts.

 

As for Legion. You said it yourself you gave it a few minutes. Give it a few episodes because it's fucking awesome and thought provoking. The cinematography is also gorgeous. Its made by the guy who came up with the Fargo series, which is also fucking amazing. Any specific details might spoil a fantastic show so i'll avoid those.

 

I'd also say you have to watch it for the fact that there are a lot of great performances, Aubrey Plaza in particular fucking crushes it on this show. I've only seen her on Parks and Recreation and never really thought much about her acting. But she is incredible on this show. All her dialogue was written for a middle aged man and she refused to let them change it. Leading to something really unique and different.

[joel_rosenbaum 1269]

For one, for me personally, good is boring. I feel like watching something "good" is a passive experience. You sit there. You absorb the media. You say, "Bravo." You move on. Afterward you may say, "Wasn't that good?" And someone will reply, "Yes, it was." *yawn*

I watched Memento years ago in college. I saw it at the theater, with no idea about what the movie was about, and with low expectations ("It's about a guy who loses his memory"). I honestly thought I was being dragged to watch a knockoff of Regarding Henry.

 

Anyways, that movie blew my mind, and despite its low re-watchability, it remains my favorite Nolan film. Walking out of the theater, my friends and I talked about it for hours. This was a much more interesting experience than the time those same friends dragged me to feardotcom.

[Cameron H. 23786]

 

I love watching bad movies and TV shows as much as anyone. But I disagree that more can be gleamed from a shitty movie or show rather than one that was so good it sticks with you weeks on end. For one it seems infinitely harder to quantify what makes something good, not too mention its entirely subjective. Whereas it's pretty easy to spot stilted dialogue, clichéd characters, obvious plot holes etc. in something bad. I think there's plenty to be learned from both.

 

I'd also disagree that watching something good is a passive experience. Reading a recap that breaks down an episode on some level youd never even dreamed of or talking to a friend about something after it airs and finding out about something you missed is just as interesting as any discussion as to why something was shit.

 

To me trying to decipher why Aida does what she does at the end of Ex Machina will always be equally fun as trying to figure out why Jeff Fahey was wearing so many fucking turtlenecks in Body Parts.

 

As for Legion. You said it yourself you gave it a few minutes. Give it a few episodes because it's fucking awesome and thought provoking. The cinematography is also gorgeous. Its made by the guy who came up with the Fargo series, which is also fucking amazing. Any specific details might spoil a fantastic show so i'll avoid those.

 

I'd also say you have to watch it for the fact that there are a lot of great performances, Aubrey Plaza in particular fucking crushes it on this show. I've only seen her on Parks and Recreation and never really thought much about her acting. But she is incredible on this show. All her dialogue was written for a middle aged man and she refused to let them change it. Leading to something really unique and different.

 

Let me see if I can clarify--and most likely contradict myself and expose my hypocrisy I'm talking about "good" movies. A "good": movie, to me, is something like Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them. I watched it a couple of weeks ago and...it was fine. It entertained. It was serviceable. It was "good." However, I have no desire to really "get into it." What you're talking about, to me, are "great" movies or "fantastic" movies. The difference between "great" and "good" is as wide a gulf (in my opinion) as between "bad" and "terrible." "Bad" is fun; "Terrible" is unwatchable.

 

Let me put it another way: I baked a batch of homemade strawberry muffins last night from a recipe I found online. When they were done, I tasted one and it was...good. It was good because I followed the recipe to the letter, but I don't have any desire to share it with anyone. I may not even use it again. Now, let's say I deviated from the recipe (even slightly) and added lemon zest and vanilla and cayenne pepper. Assuming that it doesn't have any effect on the quality at all, subjectivity aside, we have three possible outcomes.

• They become inedible--I spit it out and say "never again."
  
• They become delicious--I call everyone I know and share my awesome recipe! Maybe I memorize the recipe down to the teaspoon. I wink as I share my "secret" ingredient (always love). I talk about how good "my" muffins taste. I take pride when other people tell me they've made them and loved them. I also never, ever, ever try to improve upon that recipe.
  
• They become bad--What was I thinking? Was it the cayenne pepper? (surprisingly, no) Did my ingredients just not work within the recipe? (Ha! Ha! You should have seen your face when you bit into it!) I've made a similar recipe before and it was fine, what was different this time? (Maybe I shouldn't "meth" while I'm baking...) Are my muffin pans okay? (These muffins don't look...right.) They didn't come out sweet. (Oops, I put in 1 1/2 cups of salt, not sugar!) They just taste weird...(Here. Have another bite). Maybe it was the eggs? (It turns out that they are racist and refer to the gallon of milk in my fridge as a "Lactoid.") I was just trying to make a delicious muffin, maybe I just can't bake for shit. I should try again...
  

As for giving Legion "a few episodes," I'm sorry, but no. I was just having a conversation about this the other day. Had you asked me 5 or 6 years ago, I would have said okay, but I just don't have the time I used to devote to something I'm just not feeling. The best I can say is maybe, when my mood is more amenable to it, I might give it another shot. I don't doubt that it's a quality show (and that it's miles ahead of Iron Fist), but it had its chance to grab me and didn't. I shouldn't have to give it three hours of my life for it to "get good."

[joel_rosenbaum 1269]

(NM)

[joel_rosenbaum 1269]

Seagal has seen better days.

 

[RyanSz 3140]

Seagal has seen better days.

 

When did Seagal have a role in the biopic about the lead singer of Quiet Riot?

 

Also I gotta say how ticked I am that not once during the season of Iron Fist did someone have "Kung Fu Fighting" jokingly as their ringtone or on Danny's Ipod, it was right there for the taking!

[Cam Bert 8145]

Okay, even though Cameron basically told me not to, after reading everything everybody has to say about Iron Fist my interest in seeing how bad it really is peaked. So with that in mind here my two cents of the issues raised.

 

I have been an Iron Fist fan from way back and it still annoys me that him and Misty broke up and she's dating Falcon now. This show may push me over the edge.

 

In regards to his casting, it doesn't matter to me if he is white or not. What matters more is that he is the character rather than what the character looks like. Considering Marvel has been okay with playing fast and loose with character appearances and costuming already why should they try to stick so strongly to Danny Rand's look? Based on what I've seen they didn't even do that either. Danny Rand was always kinda preppy hot in the comics, but in the show he looks like some curly haired bearded weirdo. My only real casting wish was that they got a true martial artist to play the part. Someone who acting was maybe second to their skills. Clearly they did not go this route. I can only hope that by them not casting him as Asian this leaves the door open for Shang Chi. Though I don't think I want to see him fight Finn Jones.

 

As far as what I would have wanted to have seen? My thoughts are basically the same as Cameron H's. Seeing as how Danny needs Luke, and those character should be together, if you're going to do a solo Iron Fist series the story should be something that Luke would not be involved with. Fighting triads in New York sounds more like a Heroes for Hire story than a solo Iron Fist story. Therefore I would have wanted something along the lines of The Immortal Weapons, or even that recent Kaare Andrew series. Make it an homage to classic martial arts movies and go for that rival schools type story. Or a grand tournament type story.

[Cameron H. 23786]

Someone who acting was maybe second to their skills.

 

Are you suggesting he got hired for his acting chops? I can assure you, that is the saddest thing I've ever heard.

[Cam Bert 8145]

 

Are you suggesting he got hired for his acting chops? I can assure you, that is the saddest thing I've ever heard.

I hope not. Even on Game of Thrones he was kinda whiffing it. I think he was cast because he was blond first, in good shape second, on a hit show third, and let's say acting was... eighth?

 

Also Finn Jones nowhere near my dream casting.

[tomspanks 9039]

I hope not. Even on Game of Thrones he was kinda whiffing it. I think was cast because he was blond first, in good shape second, on a hit show third, and let's say acting was... eighth?

 

Also Finn Jones nowhere near my dream casting.

 

[Cam Bert 8145]

 

Spot on! What do you think Tom, should I watch it when I have time or like Cameron said just watch that one fight scene and move on?

[Cameron H. 23786]

I hope not. Even on Game of Thrones he was kinda whiffing it. I think was cast because he was blond first, in good shape second, on a hit show third, and let's say acting was... eighth?

 

Also Finn Jones nowhere near my dream casting.

 

What did you think of my pick?

 

 

(I can put up some more shirtless pics of him if you want...)

[tomspanks 9039]

Spot on! What do you think Tom, should I watch it when I have time or like Cameron said just watch that one fight scene and move on?

 

100% watch the entire series.

[Cameron H. 23786]

 

100% watch the entire series.

 

You have to watch it pivot from bland mediocrity in the first 6 episodes to the insulting shit show it becomes from episode 7 on. It truly is a wonder to behold.

[Cam Bert 8145]

 

What did you think of my pick?

 

 

(I can put up some more shirtless pics of him if you want...)

I thought that is a very good pick. I am one of those fools who watched all of True Blood, and Ryan Kwanten quickly became the only light in that miserable tunnel. He looks much more the part, and has more charisma and presence too.

 

Feel free to post more pictures though.