Episode 165.5 - Minisode 165.5

[JulyDiaz 2797]

Whose faster? The Flash or Superman? This question and more on this week’s mini-sode! Paul goes through Corrections and Omissions for Ninja Terminator, Paul goes through the mail bag, and the Movie Bitches review Unforgettable. Plus, you’ll find out which Van Damme film we’ll be covering next week!

 

 

 

Check out new HDTGM merch over at https://www.teepublic.com/user/howdidthisgetmade

Where to Find Jason, June & Paul:

Paul’s new comedy Drive Share is available on Go90. Paul can be seen on Veep. You can see June and Paul on NTSF:SD:SUV:: on HULU. June stars in Grace and Frankie on Netflix, as well as Lady Dynamite alongside with Jason.

 

Jason can be seen in The House, The Lego Batman Movie, How to Be Single, Sleeping with Other People, and is still indeed in The Dictator.

[SlidePocket 707]

Timecop is finally here!

[Smigg 1488]

SMIGG WINS!! SMIGG WINS!! SMIGG WINS!!

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JpF2JKtTISY

[firsttimecallerlongtimelistenr 3590]

The explanation hope line has gotten really weird since Paul starting reading the condom adverts. I'm glad June doesn't listen to the minis cause I think she'd find it upsetting. Jason on the other hand would f**king love it!

 

but I will admit I did crack a little smile at "erections and omissions".

[Smigg 1488]

The Matabatory Tales in the Explanation Hope Line just remind me of Jay from The Inbetweeners.

 

[firsttimecallerlongtimelistenr 3590]

The Matabatory Tales in the Explanation Hope Line just remind me of Jay from The Inbetweeners.

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qULhtWvFUpE

"awhhh friends"

 

"bus w**kers!!!!!!"

 

one of the most quotable shows ever

[firsttimecallerlongtimelistenr 3590]

i was *cough* flicking through a *cough* "newspaper" as i was listening to the mini and just happened to find this ... it explains alot .. they must have made an error at the printers and put ASK instead of ASS ... dumbdumbs

 

[Smigg 1488]

"awhhh friends"

 

"bus w**kers!!!!!!"

 

one of the most quotable shows ever

 

I love the show, I love the movies. And the creators haven't spoiled it for me by being dicks on social media.

[Callin' Doctor Unk 11]

I'm with Spencer when it comes to the dramatic ripping off of necklaces / pendants / amulets, and for dozens of examples of this well-established trope, look no further than tvtropes.org itself.

[firsttimecallerlongtimelistenr 3590]

I'm not sure I'd use a white powder I received in the post from a stranger .. just sayin

[RyanSz 3140]

Can't wait for the breakdown of Timecop. Also see The House, IT'S FUCKING HILARIOUS, filled with HDTGM All-Stars who all crush, and Zouks KILLS IT the whole movie.

[Cameron H. 23786]

I haven't listened to the mini episode yet, but if there seriously is another "masturbation " story on it, I think I might have to - for the first time ever - take a pass on a mini-episode. Because...Jesus fucking Christ. I am really not into this, and even though I realize that this only a symbolic gesture, I think I'm going to have to put my foot down. Professional comedians talking about masturbation? (Sometimes) funny. Some creepy rando calling into a podcast to talk about the different times he's felt up his dick? Aggressive and creepy. Like, think of the mindset of this person who thinks, "You know what? Everyone's just gotta hear about me jerking my dick to such and such a celebrity (or whatever). I'd better call Paul Scheer, because he's giving me a platform so I can share this story to thousands of listeners..."

 

Congrats to Smigg, though! I assume you won for one of your awesome ninja history posts! Those were great!

 

I don't know. Let's just try to keep it classy.

[RyanSz 3140]

I haven't listened to the mini episode yet, but if there is there is seriously another "masturbation " story on it, I think I might have to - for the first time ever - take a pass on a mini-episode. Because...Jesus fucking Christ. I am really not into this, and even though I realize that this only a symbolic gesture, I think I'm going to have to put my foot down. Professional comedians talking about masturbation? (Sometimes) funny. Some creepy rando calling into a podcast to talk about the different times he's felt up his dick? Aggressive and creepy. Like, think of the mindset of this person who thinks, "You know what? Everyone's just gotta hear about me jerking my dick to such and such a celebrity (or whatever). I'd better call Paul Scheer, because he's giving me a platform so I can share this story to thousands of listeners..."

 

Congrats to Smigg, though! I assume you won for one of your awesome ninja history posts! Those were great!

 

I don't know. Let's just try to keep it classy.

So I take it you're not going to like my animated re-enactment of when I tried to recreate the love scene from Moonraker while at Space Camp? I mean because it's done classy and the guys at Pixar did a great job animating it.

[Cameron H. 23786]

So I take it you're not going to like my animated re-enactment of when I tried to recreate the love scene from Moonraker while at Space Camp? I mean because it's done classy and the guys at Pixar did a great job animating it.

 

Well, I mean, if Pixar is doing it then I assume it will be a quality picture. I can't wait to cry at the Bing Bong scene in that one...

 

[firsttimecallerlongtimelistenr 3590]

I haven't listened to the mini episode yet, but if there is there is seriously another "masturbation " story on it, I think I might have to - for the first time ever - take a pass on a mini-episode....

 

there isn't anything really. just a quick reference back to the crap from previous minis but that's about it. there might be a reason for you to skip from the 13 min mark up to about the 14:20 mark ... it's a little creepy .. everything else is fine. there's actually a pretty cool theme song at the start

 

 

edit: but i'm guessing the next mini might be a skipper. i just finished watching time cop and i completely forgot Mia Sara was in it so between her appearance and paul's encouragements i'd guess at least one guy is gonna call in ... but will paul play it???

[Cameron H. 23786]

 

 

there isn't anything really. just a quick reference back to the crap from previous minis but that's about it. there might be a reason for you to skip from the 13 min mark up to about the 14:20 mark ... it's a little creepy .. everything else is fine. there's actually a pretty cool theme song at the start

 

Awesome! Thanks, First Time! I don't want to skip it, really, but it feels like enough's enough now, y'know?

[RyanSz 3140]

Well, I mean, if Pixar is doing it then I assume it will be a quality picture. I can't wait to cry at the Bing Bong scene in that one...

Yeah got it on the cheap too, since they are computer animators. Ang Lee told me about a Groupon I could use and I also tossed in a bucket of KFC. Then BAM, Space Camp re-enactment.

[Cameron H. 23786]

... but will paul play it???

 

That's the question, isn't it? I feel like a lot of people said "No, thank you" the first time. And when he did it again, a lot of us were still, "Seriously. No more of this." So when I heard it kind of happened again on this one I'm thinking, "okay, this is starting to feel deliberate."

 

I'm not a prude, but I really don't want to hear middle aged men recount their wank tales. However, if this is like a SUPER popular segment that everyone wants to hear and is going to be the next big "thing," then I will gracefully concede to the majority and will - from now on - either skip the EHL portion or the miniepisode entirely.

 

As far as the Timecop mini is concerned, I really hope these dudes can keep their stories in their pants.

[Cakebug Tranch 6873]

No, the issue is that a caller said that Paul should create a new section on the minis dedicated exclusively to masturbation stories. And then what's worse, Paul said 'ha ha, what a great idea' rather than 'that's gross dude'. Not much we can do if Paul is amused by this stuff. He admitted he was curious about the kinds of calls he'd get.

 

If anyone writes a jerkoff theme song I think there's a strong chance it is going to be included for a short time. It's a bummer.

[Cameron H. 23786]

No, the issue is that a caller said that Paul should create a new section on the minis dedicated exclusively to masturbation stories. And then what's worse, Paul said 'ha ha, what a great idea' rather than 'that's gross dude'. Not much we can do if Paul is amused by this stuff. He admitted he was curious about the kinds of calls he'd get.

 

If anyone writes a jerkoff theme song I think there's a strong chance it is going to be included for a short time. It's a bummer.

 

The request for a segment is somehow even more gross...

 

I'm just saying, I know I can't stop these people from calling in, and I can't stop Paul from being amused by them, but I can voice my displeasure. I'm just trying to do so as respectfully as possible.

[Cakebug Tranch 6873]

^Seconded. Enough's enough, Paul!

[Cam Bert 8145]

I think he's aware of how off putting it could be because he does say he'd put the segment at the very end of the minisode so I assume people can just turn off at that point. However what about people who are working out, on bikes or listening to it on speakers as they work or clean up? You might not be able to stop it in time. There's a also a big difference between "my first crush was on X" and "the first time I ever jacked it was to X." Now if we want to have a corner about us talking about our first celebrity crushes that's perfectly fine as long as it remains PG. I still think that doesn't really need to be a corner but it's a whole lot better than the R rated alternative.

[grudlian. 4725]

I just want to also say, in case numbers help stop it, that the calls about to whom someone first masturbated are gross.

 

I thought the first call got played because it was such an outrageous reason to call. A second call makes it no longer outrageous. I can only hope that, should this become a segment, it gets thrown at the end with a big warning so I can turn off the podcast.

[Cameron H. 23786]

I just want to also say, in case numbers help stop it, that the calls about to whom someone first masturbated are gross.

 

I thought the first call got played because it was such an outrageous reason to call. A second call makes it no longer outrageous. I can only hope that, should this become a segment, it gets thrown at the end with a big warning so I can turn off the podcast.

 

I hear you 100%. The first time, while not amusing to me personally, was absolutely audacious. So, I get that.

 

I think a big issue I have with it is that it's like being aurally flashed. These dudes don't start out with "let me tell you my batin' story" - thereby giving the listener some opportunity to skip ahead or whatever. Instead, you listen to these guys clumsily "um" and "ah" their way through a story, and as you're struggling to figure out what they're talking about, you're suddenly confronted with some stranger's dick. Like, I'm here to listen to people talk about crappy movies and shit, not to enable some creeper's exhibitionism, you know what I mean?

 

In all honesty, if someone were to write on the forums a true story about some masturbatory experience they had about some celebrity- that was clearly not meant as some hyperbolic joke - I would seriously consider reporting it. Why should this be any different?

[Smigg 1488]

 

Congrats to Smigg, though! I assume you won for one of your awesome ninja history posts! Those were great!

 

Merci beaucoup mon ami. I did win because of the ninja history. Who knew that watching Deadliest Warrior would have paid off?