Episode 255. A Very Nutty Christmas

[Mandanza 7]

Chip was not hot (sorry) so it was baffling to me that everyone who saw him was all "AWOOOOGA HOTTIE ALERT." The fact that he acts like a not-very-bright child who had too much sugar doesn't help, either.

I wanted them to mention the dancing scene at the ball! Almost every other couple dancing was two women. At first I was like, is this queer representation??? But then I realized that that scene had exactly the same energy as when you go to a ballroom dancing class and there are 20 women to 5 men so a bunch of the women learn to lead, just so they can dance at all. Are Santa Ex, Justin, and a couple dudes at the bar the only men in this town? No wonder MJH is so ready to jump Chip and army-guy-nephew. There are NOT a lot of fish in this sea.

[Cameron H. 23786]

I was definitely hoping for more from the Mouse King. It seems strange to me to introduce magic into your story, but only take the fantastical elements so far. I wanted a human sized rat damn it! 

However, I think my biggest issue with the Mouse King was trying to suss out his business model. I mean, forget about cookies, this guy is apparently running a freight company that immediately puts the squeeze on its clients for extra cash, and then what? What exactly was his endgame? She clearly didn't have the 5k he was demanding. Had Chip not intervened, what would have happened? He was hired to make a delivery and now he's just not going to do that? How is his company making *any* money, let alone any additional money earned through extortion?      

Also, seeing how they only agreed to take the cookies to the base after being threatened by Chip, there is absolutely no way I would trust them to haul my freight. These guys are clearly criminals! What's to stop them from dumping your wares a couple miles down the road or trying to fence that shit and pocketing the money for themselves?   

[Cameron H. 23786]

Speaking of the Mouse King, did anyone else think it was going to turn out to be her ex-boyfriend?

[DannytheWall 196]

1 hour ago, Cameron H. said:

Speaking of the Mouse King, did anyone else think it was going to turn out to be her ex-boyfriend?

There was a throwaway line about her father about him being a "rat" or something, and I thought we would be seeing a sudden emergence of a disturbuing family dynamic. Instead we got fake mousetaches. Probably for the best. 

If you tell me there wasn't such a line, I'll believe you, since I kind of drifted in and out on this one.  

[Cameron H. 23786]

I can kind of get why MJH might have mistook Chip for an actor in the ballet -- after all, she was expecting one to show up at her house to stay for a couple of days -- but did she honestly never wonder he didn't need to rehearse? She doesn't even make an effort to show him where the theater is or anything. Instead, she offers him a full time job as a nut crusher at her bakery. I guess, I just find her to be dangerously uncurious. If I'm not mistaken, she doesn't even start to put it all together until midway through the third act of the ballet when she suddenly realizes that he's been sitting next to her the entire time.  

[Elektra Boogaloo 3371]

4 hours ago, Cameron H. said:

I was definitely hoping for more from the Mouse King. It seems strange to me to introduce magic into your story, but only take the fantastical elements so far. I wanted a human sized rat damn it! 

However, I think my biggest issue with the Mouse King was trying to suss out his business model. I mean, forget about cookies, this guy is apparently running a freight company that immediately puts the squeeze on its clients for extra cash, and then what? What exactly was his endgame? She clearly didn't have the 5k he was demanding. Had Chip not intervened, what would have happened? He was hired to make a delivery and now he's just not going to do that? How is his company making *any* money, let alone any additional money earned through extortion?      

Also, seeing how they only agreed to take the cookies to the base after being threatened by Chip, there is absolutely no way I would trust them haul my freight. These guys are clearly criminals! What's to stop them from dumping your wares a couple miles down the road or trying to fence that shit and pocketing the money for themselves?   

How are they paying for those mustaches??? It doesn’t add up. 

 

Eta: how  did Jason phrase it in the country bears episode? Comedy mustaches?

[Cameron H. 23786]

1 minute ago, Elektra Boogaloo said:

How are they paying for those mustaches??? It doesn’t add up. 

Face it, @Elektra Boogaloo, it’s cookie math...

[DannytheWall 196]

I remember reading a paper once about how we should be more aware of the fact that it's so acceptable to perpetuate "cat-hating" tropes and jokes when cats are, at the same time, often associated with women/feminitiy. Then I thought there might be a similar pattern with coffee versus tea jokes. Then I thought about the association of tea with Asian cultures and wondered if there's a correlation with the unfortunate stereoptypes regarding the emasculation of the Asian male. Then I remembered the time I sprialed into several minutes of private thoughts about grammatical punctuation when I read on a T-shirt: "Does anal retentive have a hyphen?" and had to remind myself that I do overthink a lot of things. 

I will say that Americans are very much obsessed with refrigeration. After moving from California to live overseas for over a decade, it's weird if I **don't** purchase milk purchased in a box from the shelf, and I've never had to worry about keeping eggs in the fridge. The answer to it is the American food industrial complex, of course 

For more rabbit-hole falling, coffee doesn't actually dehydrate you since that's not technically what a "diareutic" means. 

 

I wish they would have talked about the ice skating scene more. Yes, it's obviously plastic, but it's equally obvious that the actors were not wearing skates at all, right? Was this because the actors can't skate? Because there's some union rules about stunt people? Were the Lifetime producers following some kind of checklist? I mean, maybe it's not a "Bad Scene" at all, becuase it's actually pretty impressive that the cinematographer framed everything just right, that the editors chose just the right cuts, and the actors, well, they did their best.   

 

 

[Melicious 5]

I was really annoyed that so many people in the movie kept saying Chip was dressed like a nutcracker. Of course we as an audience recognize that he's a nutcracker come to life, but why would anyone in this town think he was dressed like anything other than a soldier of some sort? The style of nutcracker they keep referencing is wearing a soldier's uniform- the only thing that makes it obviously a nutcracker is the weird mouth. If Chip had some ridiculous Jaws-from-Moonraker type thing going on, I could see it, but as-is he's just a dude dressed up like a Coldstream Guard.

[Cameron H. 23786]

On 12/18/2020 at 11:58 PM, DannytheWall said:

I wish they would have talked about the ice skating scene more. Yes, it's obviously plastic, but it's equally obvious that the actors were not wearing skates at all, right? Was this because the actors can't skate? Because there's some union rules about stunt people? Were the Lifetime producers following some kind of checklist? I mean, maybe it's not a "Bad Scene" at all, becuase it's actually pretty impressive that the cinematographer framed everything just right, that the editors chose just the right cuts, and the actors, well, they did their best.   

THANK YOU!!! My wife was only half watching and wouldn't believe me. I was like, "No, whenever they're in a two shot, they're taking little tiny steps to mimic skating!" 

[BradLovesDisney 6]

Nutcracker dolls originate from late-17th century Germany, particularly the Ore Mountains.  Decorative nutcracker dolls began being popularized outside of Europe after the Second World War, when numerous American soldiers stationed in Germany came home to the United States with German nutcrackers as souvenirs.  

The Nutcracker ballet was originally produced in 1892 with a score by Tchaikovsky.  It became popular in North America during the 1960s.  The ballet's protagonist, Clara, shares her name with the aunt in Nutty Christmas (Conchata Ferrel who also played the aunt in Krampus).  

When MJH has flashbacks to earlier scenes in the movie, they are not just random time-wasters.  She is reflecting on how the specific events of ballet mirror her own recent experiences.

...And souldn't he really have cracked the nuts with his teeth?

[BradLovesDisney 6]

Mr. Gower cabled you need cash, stop. My office instructed to advance you up to twenty-five thousand dollars, stop. Hee Haw and Merry Christmas!

[AlmostAGhost 2718]

re: the ice skating

Danica McKellar, star of numerous of these Christmas movies herself, posted a behind-the-scenes of them filming her ice skating scenes because she does not know how to ice skate.

https://www.instagram.com/p/CITIr48nB9P/

 

[Cam Bert 8145]

On 12/19/2020 at 7:25 AM, grudlian. said:

Also, is Barry Watson hot? I think he's alright looking but not hot.

You're right. No one responds like a normal person to her saying a doll came to life. This should have been tied in to her working too much and people forcing her to take time off work. This is an obvious story point to get them together and learn to love Christmas that they skipped.

To me that was one of the weirder things. They keep talking about how hot Chip was and all I thought is "He looks good for a man of his age." To me it seems like all the parts were written for characters about 10 or 15 years younger and they didn't bother changing it once MJH got involved.

[Cam Bert 8145]

HouseShare is a shitty app or company. First of all the actual HouseShare person was suppose to come five days before Christmas. They don't show up but MJH thinks Chip is that person so doesn't say anything about them being missing to the company. Then two days before Christmas the company texts her to say the client cancelled due to illness. This is a full three days after the original HouseShare guest was suppose to be staying with her. Shouldn't that message been sent on the day of their scheduled arrival? Also why specify illness, that doesn't affect anything unless illness is a cause to not have to pay. If that is the case HouseShare is terrible. If I booked an AirBNB and got sick and phoned them three full days after my original booking the owner isn't just going to eat the cost of those days. Also showing up a day early does not get you a free night's stay either. 

[grudlian. 4725]

11 hours ago, Cam Bert said:

HouseShare is a shitty app or company. First of all the actual HouseShare person was suppose to come five days before Christmas. They don't show up but MJH thinks Chip is that person so doesn't say anything about them being missing to the company. Then two days before Christmas the company texts her to say the client cancelled due to illness. This is a full three days after the original HouseShare guest was suppose to be staying with her. Shouldn't that message been sent on the day of their scheduled arrival? Also why specify illness, that doesn't affect anything unless illness is a cause to not have to pay. If that is the case HouseShare is terrible. If I booked an AirBNB and got sick and phoned them three full days after my original booking the owner isn't just going to eat the cost of those days. Also showing up a day early does not get you a free night's stay either. 

Wait. This movie takes place over five days? I must have missed that because I thought it was a couple weeks. She gets dumped, starts a relationship with Chip and meets a new guy on Christmas in five days? We're basically going through all this movie for a rebound relationship.

[RyanSz 3140]

After listening to the episode I am glad to hear I am not the only one who recognizes that Home Alone 2 is the superior Home Alone film. Saw it at least three times in the theater when it came out and it still ranks at the top of my Christmas film list.

1. Home Alone 2

2. (tie) A Christmas Story and Home Alone

3. Scrooged

4. National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation

5. Gremlins

Also, quick poll of the forum, has anyone recently re-watched the Tim Allen Santa Claus movie? I'm rewatching it and realizing how utterly fucked up it is. Not just the fact that Tim Allen inadvertently causes Santa Claus' death 10 minutes into the film, but the fact that the sequels showed that by the Santa contract, he has to have a wife and children, so what happens to them when their Santa dies? Are they sent into exile or do the elves kill them to complete the coup? Then there's the scene where Allen is talking to his elf assistant who brings him coco, who remember all the elves are played by kids in the movies, says she looks good for her age when she mentions being over 1,200 years old and she says she's already seeing someone in the wrapping department. This them then leads to later in the movie where he's walking to his sleigh with a group of elves to the song "Give Me All Your Lovin'."

[Elektra Boogaloo 3371]

I have been learning a lot about the Nutcracker because I have started watching “On Pointe” a docu series on Disney+ about ballet students in NYC who are training for the NYC Ballet and/or the little ones that get to be part of the Nutcracker ballet in 2019. 

18 hours ago, BradLovesDisney said:

The Nutcracker ballet was originally produced in 1892 with a score by Tchaikovsky.  It became popular in North America during the 1960s.  The ballet's protagonist, Clara, shares her name with the aunt in Nutty Christmas (Conchata Ferrel who also played the aunt in Krampus).  

When MJH has flashbacks to earlier scenes in the movie, they are not just random time-wasters.  She is reflecting on how the specific events of ballet mirror her own recent experiences.

...And souldn't he really have cracked the nuts with his teeth?

In the story the girl main character is named Marie. I was surprised when I read a bad translation of it, because I always thought her name was Clara (because of the ballet). But in above series, they dance the Balanchine (a choreographer who I never heard of but they talk a lot about in the show since he founded ABA) version of the Nutcracker and the girl is called Marie. 

Does anyone know which ballet version they were dancing in the clips? I assume the classical Russian but I know nothing about ballet.

[Cam Bert 8145]

8 hours ago, grudlian. said:

Wait. This movie takes place over five days? I must have missed that because I thought it was a couple weeks. She gets dumped, starts a relationship with Chip and meets a new guy on Christmas in five days? We're basically going through all this movie for a rebound relationship.

Yea, it's crazy. The first day in the bakery on the board is "6 Days to Christmas" and it ends on Christmas so technically it takes place over 6 days!

[Cam Bert 8145]

At the end of the movie after Chip reverts back to doll form he's wearing a sash and a scarf. This brings up two questions. First, he can turn things into miniature doll form? Like the scarf she bought him was not magical yet he puts it on and because he's wearing the scarf it too shrinks down with him? Why did he even put the scarf on? So she knew it was him? She'd already put it together so now he just ruined a perfectly usable scarf. Second question, what's up with the sash? He never once in the movie wore a sash. He didn't have one in the box he came in either. Where did this sash come from and why put it on when turning back into a doll?

[ChunkStyle 1160]

This was a pretty short movie so I think they could have added a few minutes for every character to announce what high-powered and high-stress job they left behind to settle in an idyllic Christmas village.

I was very curious to know what Drosselmeyer was doing in that market when he was off screen.  When MJH went to track him down that other vendor said with some scorn something along the lines of "that old nut went back to Germany!"  What was he doing that got on their nerves so much?

[DrGuts1003 462]

To me, more unbelievable than a nutcracker doll coming to life was Kate's impromptu Christmas dinner.  She invites all of her friends over on Christmas morning for a 1pm dinner and somehow they are all free and able to make it.  Did none of them already have their own dinner plans for Christmas?  Kate also mentions that she still needs to go and buy a turkey for the dinner.  I am not sure where she is going to find a supermarket open on Christmas day that has a fresh turkey available to buy.  Then she somehow manages to buy and get that turkey cooked in time for the 1pm dinner.  There were at least 10 people there, so you figure a 15 to 20 pound turkey which would take 3.5 - 4.5 hours to cook.  I have a feeling most of the people at that party ended up with Jessica St. Clair-level digestive issues from undercooked food.

[DrGuts1003 462]

On 12/18/2020 at 7:27 PM, Cameron H. said:

I was definitely hoping for more from the Mouse King. It seems strange to me to introduce magic into your story, but only take the fantastical elements so far. I wanted a human sized rat damn it! 

However, I think my biggest issue with the Mouse King was trying to suss out his business model. I mean, forget about cookies, this guy is apparently running a freight company that immediately puts the squeeze on its clients for extra cash, and then what? What exactly was his endgame? She clearly didn't have the 5k he was demanding. Had Chip not intervened, what would have happened? He was hired to make a delivery and now he's just not going to do that? How is his company making *any* money, let alone any additional money earned through extortion?      

Also, seeing how they only agreed to take the cookies to the base after being threatened by Chip, there is absolutely no way I would trust them to haul my freight. These guys are clearly criminals! What's to stop them from dumping your wares a couple miles down the road or trying to fence that shit and pocketing the money for themselves?   

You would think the military would have done a better job vetting the company they use to pick up the cookies or at the very least sent some of their own soldiers to go and pick them up.

EDIT: Also, MJH would have had the 5K to pay the Mouse King, but she had to use that money to pay for all of those gift baskets she 'won'.

[Cameron H. 23786]

1 minute ago, DrGuts1003 said:

You would think the military would have done a better job vetting the company they use to pick up the cookies or at the very least sent some of their own soldiers to go and pick them up.

That's what I was thinking, too. With my old job, every so often I had to do work on military bases, and it is a super pain in the ass to get clearance and whatnot. I feel like they would have just sent some of their own people to pick up the cookies rather than just picking a company at random.

[Cameron H. 23786]

6 minutes ago, DrGuts1003 said:

To me, more unbelievable than a nutcracker doll coming to life was Kate's impromptu Christmas dinner.  She invites all of her friends over on Christmas morning for a 1pm dinner and somehow they are all free and able to make it.  Did none of them already have their own dinner plans for Christmas?  Kate also mentions that she still needs to go and buy a turkey for the dinner.  I am not sure where she is going to find a supermarket open on Christmas day that has a fresh turkey available to buy.  Then she somehow manages to buy and get that turkey cooked in time for the 1pm dinner.  There were at least 10 people there, so you figure a 15 to 20 pound turkey which would take 3.5 - 4.5 hours to cook.  I have a feeling most of the people at that party ended up with Jessica St. Clair-level digestive issues from undercooked food.

YES!!! This was CRAZY!