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Cameron H.

Episode 258 - A Gnome Named Gnorm

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On 1/15/2021 at 11:24 AM, gigi-tastic said:

Are we not going to talk about this creature and it's main form of attack which is biting people's genitals?! It has giant long arms perfect for hitting but Gnrom seems to relish jumping up and biting people's junk. I was lying down for this motion picture and each dick chomp made me wish I could lie down harder I felt so unwell.  Is this why he has unsettling human teeth? Is this a Gnorm thing or is this a fighting technique of his people? Perhaps a fight or flight response? All I know is I never want to see a gnome go for someone's crotch again. 

Yeah I was legit shocked when Gnorm stopped one the gangsters, I think it was gold switchblade guy, by basically what looked like giving him an over-the-pants rusty trombone, this is to assume that Gnome and human anatomy is similar or Gnorm thought it might be so that would be his first strike in case of defense. Also was I the only one who thought Hall was playing his character a bit like a cokehead? This seems especially evident when he's introduced he's firing off his lines at a mile a minute and just rambling, which made me wonder if that was part of his character given that this was made in the late 80s. As for Robert Z'Dar, he was mostly used as the heavy or big villain in films because of his cherubism which gave him his pronounced jawline and body size made him appear very imposing and he was the titular character in the Maniac Cop trilogy in the 80s, which also starred the female lead of this film in the first sequel. He was also in another should be covered by the show movie, Samurai Cop.

In regards to Blockbuster, I must be young enough to never remember them editing their movies, because whenever I went there the movies were untouched, but some would require you to either be 17 to check out or in my case, not have any checkout restrictions from my parents on the account, because I seeing the director's cut of Color of Night on the shelves as well as finding out in high school that the drama aisles had what amounted to softcore porn. Was there some kind of customer revolt that caused them to retract their policy of editing their movies?

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There are so many unintentionally disturbing things about this movie...At one point Gnorm is cowering on the sidewalk, alone and afraid, and then gets almost eaten by someone’s vicious dog. You can see the dog-owner just standing there holding the leash with their sweater tied around their waist, casually enjoying the sight of their dog gnashing at and terrorizing “the little freak”.  Gnorm’s civil rights are consistently violated by the cops, but this seems especially egregious.

1880282596_258GnoDog.jpg.9c38082192ebfc13e3346d7c9c007d80.jpg

Also when Casey pulls Gnorm in from dangling off of the high-rise balcony, it’s hard to tell, but I’m pretty sure he rips Gnorm’s arm completely off.   Maybe Gnomes can quickly grow new  arms and that’s why Gnorm’s are so long.

1320222105_258GnoArm.jpg.633e57f05b4c336a1b9f8037321a5010.jpg

But by far the *most* disturbing part of the film is Casey’s hair in the first scene.  That wet, greasy mullet was so disgusting and unsettling.  I was afraid his hair was going to look like that throughout the movie.  If so, I would not have been able to watch.

1905584656_2566GnormDubleMullet.jpg.7f9922f77c86afad4d90cde8205d2848.jpg

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16 minutes ago, Catfish said:

But by far the *most* disturbing part of the film is Casey’s hair in the first scene.  That wet, greasy mullet was so disgusting and unsettling.  I was afraid his hair was going to look like that throughout the movie.  If so, I would not have been able to watch.

1905584656_2566GnormDubleMullet.jpg.7f9922f77c86afad4d90cde8205d2848.jpg

Again, I contend that he was originally told to or decided to play the character as a cokehead.

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Anyone else astonished that people who review bad movies as a job don't know who Robert Z'Dar is? He's among the A-list of the B-list. As for his weird face, in the words of MST3K, he looked like a catcher's mitt with eyes.

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This film was written and produced by two two-time Oscar nominees! Pen Densham and John Watson were nominated for their doc short, DON'T MESS WITH BILL (about an 84-year-old self defense teacher), and a live action short, LIFE TIMES NINE. The next film they produced? BACKDRAFT!

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On 1/15/2021 at 11:57 PM, ErinRene said:

Just like Jason, I laughed out loud at the CPR attempt on the corpse. It was so smart, and completely surprising. I’m laughing again just remembering it. 

Omg, I was thinking the same thing about this joke and the whole commandeering the hearse scene! If it was in a good movie I could see it working. But I thought that a lot while watching A Gnome named Gnorm (and during every other HDTGM movie).

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On 1/15/2021 at 6:18 PM, Doctor Suessicide said:

Also, while making that compilation I noticed Gnorm's kryptonite: glass doors. Bullets are no big deal, but two of his escapes are foiled by transparent bonk walls.

Exactly! And doesn't he got knocked out by a punch from Jerry Ohrbach, too? Very odd that he can take a bullet, but not a punch from a middle aged man!

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Okay, at one point Jerry Orbach leaves his office with the woman cop to go discuss something, leaving Gnorm with the other skeevy rival detective (Kaminsky) to watch him. Then Gnorm escapes and Kaminsky is behind the desk . . . naked? Why did either he or Gnorm take his clothes off? I can think of several potential explanations for this, all of them disturbing.

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10 minutes ago, sycasey 2.0 said:

Okay, at one point Jerry Orbach leaves his office with the woman cop to go discuss something, leaving Gnorm with the other skeevy rival detective (Kaminsky) to watch him. Then Gnorm escapes and Kaminsky is behind the desk . . . naked? Why did either he or Gnorm take his clothes off? I can think of several potential explanations for this, all of them disturbing.

Such a great omission. Pair this with Gnorm’s ability to make people fall asleep...I think he might be a predator. Should we be nervous for that pooka back home? I pray they didn’t film scenes of the (alleged) assault on Kominsky. 

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2 hours ago, sycasey 2.0 said:

Okay, at one point Jerry Orbach leaves his office with the woman cop to go discuss something, leaving Gnorm with the other skeevy rival detective (Kaminsky) to watch him. Then Gnorm escapes and Kaminsky is behind the desk . . . naked? Why did either he or Gnorm take his clothes off? I can think of several potential explanations for this, all of them disturbing.

Yeah there was no explanation for it. He decides to sit behind the boss' desk and then I assume gets horny at the idea of being the boss someday?

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Definitely surprised to see this commercial today, thought they had gone out of business.

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I think the biggest question I have about this movie is why does Jerry Orbach decide to steal money now? His reason is simply "it's a lot of money." He's a captain in the Los Angles police department, I'm sure there are cases he's come across or dealt with that have much more money at stake. Heck, there is probably more money in evidence that he could also easily steal. He says he's only been working 25 years so retiring early and keeping the money sounds smarter than faking his death. After 20 years of service in the Los Angles police department if you contribute to a pension plan your pension equals 50% your average monthly pay. For every year beyond that it goes up 3 percent to a maximum of 90%. So after 25 years of service he could retire and get 65% of his annual pay as pension. He'd still be making about $104,000 annually. Wouldn't it have been better to keep that money, and slowly use it to supplement your rather generous pension? Who's to say he wouldn't run out of the money he stole? He's clearly not going to be working in Mexico.

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On 1/16/2021 at 8:49 PM, RyanSz said:

Again, I contend that he was originally told to or decided to play the character as a cokehead.

He has full on coke bloat

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13 minutes ago, gigi-tastic said:

He has full on coke bloat

Well considering this was filmed at the end of the 80s when his career rise had hit the skids with a horrible run on SNL and two back-to-back flops in theaters, yeah he likely had developed a liking to the smell of coke.

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I know Jerry Orbach is sabotaging the investigation, but it seems weird that the police didn't thoroughly check the playground to find a briefcase filled with money. Certainly the murder site would have some police check out the area for evidence. A briefcase under a merry go round should have been noticed. Unless the crime scene investigators are in on the crime with Jerry Orbach, this is sloppy police work.

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On 1/16/2021 at 7:51 PM, RyanSz said:

Yeah I was legit shocked when Gnorm stopped one the gangsters, I think it was gold switchblade guy, by basically what looked like giving him an over-the-pants rusty trombone, this is to assume that Gnome and human anatomy is similar or Gnorm thought it might be so that would be his first strike in case of defense. Also was I the only one who thought Hall was playing his character a bit like a cokehead? This seems especially evident when he's introduced he's firing off his lines at a mile a minute and just rambling, which made me wonder if that was part of his character given that this was made in the late 80s. As for Robert Z'Dar, he was mostly used as the heavy or big villain in films because of his cherubism which gave him his pronounced jawline and body size made him appear very imposing and he was the titular character in the Maniac Cop trilogy in the 80s, which also starred the female lead of this film in the first sequel. He was also in another should be covered by the show movie, Samurai Cop.

In regards to Blockbuster, I must be young enough to never remember them editing their movies, because whenever I went there the movies were untouched, but some would require you to either be 17 to check out or in my case, not have any checkout restrictions from my parents on the account, because I seeing the director's cut of Color of Night on the shelves as well as finding out in high school that the drama aisles had what amounted to softcore porn. Was there some kind of customer revolt that caused them to retract their policy of editing their movies?

Well the lady Gnomes apparently have breasts and there was the weird Gnorm dick joke? So I think they are similar just shorter, hairer,very long arms, and animal like faces? They seem to have similar teeth which was strangely upsetting.

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On 1/19/2021 at 12:29 PM, grudlian. said:

I know Jerry Orbach is sabotaging the investigation, but it seems weird that the police didn't thoroughly check the playground to find a briefcase filled with money. Certainly the murder site would have some police check out the area for evidence. A briefcase under a merry go round should have been noticed. Unless the crime scene investigators are in on the crime with Jerry Orbach, this is sloppy police work.

It feels weird they didn't really examine a person being BLOWN UP. It looked like they just cleaned it up and moved on. If Gnorm and MAH can just go back to the park with no trouble and a civilian with a dog can be there after a MAJOR crime... Like shouldn't it be off limits and have police officers scouring the scene and trying to figure out this bomb? A bomb seems like a bog deal to me. I know Homeland Security didn't exist but still. A bomb went off and killed a guy. Forensics probably takes more than a few hours on something like that.  Wouldn't they want to see the scene in the daylight? How does the chief of police make a bomb explosion investigation just disappear? I feel like that's too big to ignore. And because of the security threat wouldn't they go over the park with a fine tooth comb eventually finding the briefcase? And given that the other bomb was in a briefcase wouldn't that be a big deal? 

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1 hour ago, gigi-tastic said:

It feels weird they didn't really examine a person being BLOWN UP. It looked like they just cleaned it up and moved on. If Gnorm and MAH can just go back to the park with no trouble and a civilian with a dog can be there after a MAJOR crime... Like shouldn't it be off limits and have police officers scouring the scene and trying to figure out this bomb? A bomb seems like a bog deal to me. I know Homeland Security didn't exist but still. A bomb went off and killed a guy. Forensics probably takes more than a few hours on something like that.  Wouldn't they want to see the scene in the daylight? How does the chief of police make a bomb explosion investigation just disappear? I feel like that's too big to ignore. And because of the security threat wouldn't they go over the park with a fine tooth comb eventually finding the briefcase? And given that the other bomb was in a briefcase wouldn't that be a big deal? 

Yeah, I couldn't remember if it was a bomb to be honest. I thought it was but this movie only got 50% attention from me. But you would think this city had a bomb squad. Someone on the force would have scoured the site. We can write it off as Jerry Orbach purposefully mishandled the case, but that really feels like lazy writing. At least have the case buried or in some bushes 50 feet away. Not under the most obvious hiding spot in the immediate vicinity of the explosion.

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