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Cameron H.

Episode 258 - A Gnome Named Gnorm

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Paul, June, and Jason discuss the 1990 fantasy buddy comedy A Gnome Named Gnorm. They talk about Anthony Michael Hall’s odd detective character, Gnorm the gnome being at the wrong place at the wrong time, Jerry Orbach roughing up Gnorm, and much more. Plus, everyone dives into an important conversation about laserdiscs.
 
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Are we not going to talk about this creature and it's main form of attack which is biting people's genitals?! It has giant long arms perfect for hitting but Gnrom seems to relish jumping up and biting people's junk. I was lying down for this motion picture and each dick chomp made me wish I could lie down harder I felt so unwell.  Is this why he has unsettling human teeth? Is this a Gnorm thing or is this a fighting technique of his people? Perhaps a fight or flight response? All I know is I never want to see a gnome go for someone's crotch again. 

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30 minutes ago, gigi-tastic said:

Are we not going to talk about this creature and it's main form of attack which is biting people's genitals?! 

Don't forget the meat hook to the perineum!

Is the coup de grace on Jerry Orbach's junk a bite or a punch? Considering the speed and force Gnorm can tunnel through concrete with those rock gloves, it's either the former or he was showing remarkable restraint — Gnorm could have straight-up Bone-Tomahawked him if he wanted.   

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I 100% agree with Jason the joke about commandeering the hearse was very funny.  It got me thinking that we need some kind of Hollywood Joke Clearinghouse where they can gather up the truly great jokes from otherwise bad or just unseen movies and give them to new movies in the future.

Once of my favorite little things in the movie was early on when Zadar was whisper dictating to Reggie who was on the phone with the cops each line Zadar said got quieter until at the end he just mouthed "have a nice day" without vocalizing at all.  It was such a weird and funny choice.

Anthony Michael Hall's car had a custom license plate that said OYNK.  Is that his way of joking about being a cop?

 

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I'm sorry, I could not get into this movie at all. I found it simultaneously boring and repulsive. I usually can find something to enjoy in anything, but this just wasn't much fun at all.

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To me by far the worst part of this movie is that Gnorm was voiced by Rob Paulsen aka Yakko Warner aka Raphael aka Donatello in the newer cartoon aka Pinky aka a million voices of my childhood! I did not need to hear him talking about about nice asses.

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1 hour ago, Cameron H. said:

I'm sorry, I could not get into this movie at all. I found it simultaneously boring and repulsive. I usually can find something to enjoy in anything, but this just wasn't much fun at all.

The still of Gnorm in the tubi preview was enough to really turn me off the movie. It grossed me out. I appreciate how well made and acted Gnorm was by the puppeteers but Gnorm was was too much. Very Mac and Me kind of nauseated. I agree with everything they said with the actors; they really were great. 

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11 minutes ago, grudlian. said:

The still of Gnorm in the tubi preview was enough to really turn me off the movie. It grossed me out. I appreciate how well made and acted Gnorm was by the puppeteers but Gnorm was was too much. Very Mac and Me kind of nauseated. I agree with everything they said with the actors; they really were great. 

Honestly, I was super checked out. I couldn't tell you if anyone's performance was good or not. And every time I tried to refocus, there was gross-o Gnorm with his gross-me-out lips staring at me, screeching about his fucking lumen while "Low Rider" blared in the background.

The only good thing was I watched this on Tubi so the commercials gave me an occasional reprieve.

I just didn't find this at all watchable.   

ETA: According to my Letterboxd, the movies have been all around terrible for me this week. It's been Forbidden Zone (gross), The Turning (boring), this (gross and boring), and Gretel and Hansel (boring). Fortunately, I had Cobra Kai...

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6 hours ago, gigi-tastic said:

Are we not going to talk about this creature and it's main form of attack which is biting people's genitals?!

I made a compilation of Gnorm's assaults, because yeah!

 

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Also, while making that compilation I noticed Gnorm's kryptonite: glass doors. Bullets are no big deal, but two of his escapes are foiled by transparent bonk walls.

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One thing that drives me crazy about this type of “fish-out-of-water” movie is when the character does things that are so beyond stupid that they can’t be explained by cultural differences.  I mean Gnorm is a relatively intelligent creature, right, with (at-least) bi-lingual language skills and the obvious ability to use tools, clothing, etc.   So there is absolutely a 0% chance that Gnorm would try to shoot someone with the broad-side of a gun.  Aside form the fact that he certainly understands the concept of pointing at something, and he has seen numerous people fire guns already, it is prohibitively difficult to grab the handle of a gun sideways and pull the trigger in this manner without being purposeful in your idiocy.

Similarly. there is a scene where a speeding car is barreling directly down on Gnorm and he just stares at it as if to say, “Well, I don’t know what that things is, so let me stand here and find out.”  How is this explainable?  Are we to believe that In “Down-World” there is no concept of one thing smashing into another thing?

Gnorm.jpg

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8 hours ago, ChunkStyle said:

I 100% agree with Jason the joke about commandeering the hearse was very funny.  It got me thinking that we need some kind of Hollywood Joke Clearinghouse where they can gather up the truly great jokes from otherwise bad or just unseen movies and give them to new movies in the future.

Once of my favorite little things in the movie was early on when Zadar was whisper dictating to Reggie who was on the phone with the cops each line Zadar said got quieter until at the end he just mouthed "have a nice day" without vocalizing at all.  It was such a weird and funny choice.

Anthony Michael Hall's car had a custom license plate that said OYNK.  Is that his way of joking about being a cop?

 

Just like Jason, I laughed out loud at the CPR attempt on the corpse. It was so smart, and completely surprising. I’m laughing again just remembering it. 

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The lack of investigation after a man is blown up mere feet from a children’s play area was ridiculous. Even though Jerry Orbach was the secret bad guy (which surprised me with the reveal by the way) - they all left like an hour after an explosion! What happened to the body?!?!

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How did he get Gnorm into the cage seemingly without feeling or looking at him? He was shocked when he got it back to his house and got a clear look - but he had to pick Gnorm off the floor, load it into the cage, carry the cage against his body, load it in his car, load it OUT of his car and walk it into the house. Not a peek? That entire time?

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5 hours ago, Doctor Suessicide said:

Also, while making that compilation I noticed Gnorm's kryptonite: glass doors. Bullets are no big deal, but two of his escapes are foiled by transparent bonk walls.

I thought about this too! He’s smart enough to trick the guy into falling asleep but has no clue about glass doors?

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17 hours ago, Doctor Suessicide said:

I made a compilation of Gnorm's assaults, because yeah!

 

I feel so unwell after seeing this. I don't know why but this gnome is so utterly disgusting and upsetting looking. Its like if Yoda and a hairless cat mated and that child got fillers and botched plastic surgery. 

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13 hours ago, ErinRene said:

How did he get Gnorm into the cage seemingly without feeling or looking at him? He was shocked when he got it back to his house and got a clear look - but he had to pick Gnorm off the floor, load it into the cage, carry the cage against his body, load it in his car, load it OUT of his car and walk it into the house. Not a peek? That entire time?

I think that first encounter with Gnorm was in AMH's garage so he just had to get him inside the house from there.

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21 hours ago, Doctor Suessicide said:

I made a compilation of Gnorm's assaults, because yeah!

 

I watched the censored TV version on YouTube, so missed the strip club scene and the extended Gnorm gnude scene.

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87779525_ScreenShot2021-01-16at3_04.07PM(1).jpeg.f983e1e62ee9d9d7d4a4279d98c4b94a.jpeg

Perhaps the most revolting image in HDTGM film history?

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This is yet another HDTGM film in which people are far too blase about seeing an alien/monster/creature, and here, treating him like a "freak" human, but not immediately contacting all media outlets, government and private science institutions, etc. 

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2 hours ago, ChunkStyle said:

I think that first encounter with Gnorm was in AMH's garage so he just had to get him inside the house from there.

I thought it was in Gnorm’s weird little den. Wasn’t it? I’m so confused. 

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I have to admit there is one shot that I found rather moving - when Gnorm goes to the beach and sees the ocean for the first time. But completely out of place tonally with the rest of the film.

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Why does Gnorm do the ancient comedy gesture of "hands on cheeks" (meaning "Oh my god!") after he tries to touch Sam's butt?

"Blind Screaming Giant" = great name for a band.

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