Episode 41 — Spider-Man 3

[Batric 2]

The thing with Spider-man 3 was that it was such a LET DOWN. After Spider-man 2 and all the hype about them doing the symbiote story, they really got people thinking this was going to be the shit. Instead, the tone fluctuated way too much and felt like it stopped caring as the production went on.

 

Regarding the Amazing Spider-man, it wasn't as much a let down because my expectations were so low that moving pictures on a screen would be enough. It wasn't the worst movie and it wasn't too nuch of a disappointment because it initially seemed like a cash-grab film, but it did have some faults.

 

SPOILER ALERT TO THOSE WHO HAVE YET SEEN ASM

 

Peter and Gwen's relationship comes from a place of criminal stalker. He takes pictures of her without knowing (First scene), but she's okay with it when Ben tells her because Peter is cute. He then sneaks into her place of work and takes her tour, but she's cool with it and helps him because he's cute. He then tells her he CLIMBED 22 STORIES IN A FIRE ESCAPE and somehow finds her window and watched her for a bit, but it cool because he's cute. Then Peter get's into an awkward argument with her father, reveals himself to be the problem her dad is facing, and has her, a high school student, treat serious monster wounds. She wasn't okay with it immediately, but then she remember how cute he was and got over it.

 

In the same scene when he stalkerishly climbs his way to her window (how did he know which window), why is it the first thing Denis Leary to Peter, "So you must be Peter". Shouldn't it have been, "How the fuck did you get into my condo? I didn't see/hear you walk through the front." You might be thinking that he might have just come in and thought Peter had come earlier, and that's fair. But WHAT ABOUT THE MOTHER AND SIBLINGS? How did that not come up immediately?

 

The product placement in this film was ridiculous. This is not a comprehensive list: 1) Sony's smartphone makes several appearance to show off its amazing features like swipe-to-ignore-call, a touch-screen, and the ability to play bubble burst. Ironically, the phone looked so bad in this movie. The screen especially when he's playing bubble burst. 2) Brand-name macaroni and cheese is a punchline. Aunt May is so shocked at Peter's hunger that he even took the BRAND-NAME macaroni and cheese. 3) Bing. Fucking Bing. It is more believable to me that a kid gets bit by a super spider and gets superpowers than it is that Peter, or anyone, uses Bing.

 

Speaking of Bing, are you telling me that Peter never searched for his father ever? When he finds the suitcase, Peter searches for his father on the internet and finds so many sites about him and is shocked by it. Did it never occur to him to search for his famous father on the internet? Maybe he did using Google and couldn't find anything, so he went to Bing.

 

Further goofiness is all the pseudomath this movie has for the sake of drama. It's a small point, but it was really funny when there's a sinister experiment marked Double Null. If it's double null, does it mean it double negatives to all reals? Also, there is the scene with Dr. Conner. In this scene, Peter shows up to Conner's house, which is located in the 70s, to ask about his parents. But before that, Peter makes a one arm man make him coffee. Anyway, they talk and Conner reveals that his work is incomplete. So Peter, being a nice guy, decides to help him by writing out an equation for him and Conner looks at Peter like he's a genius. What should have happened was Conner should have asked him to define the variables, give values, and basically explain what the hell he wrote. It was just a series of letters and the whole function is of "x", so Conner will need some context.

 

This is a small point, but one of the best scenes in the film was spoiled for me because of a poor music choice. It's the scene when the Lizard is creeping around the lab and Gwen is hiding. It's tense, it's nervous, and Emma Stone really sells it. However, it only took two moments to turn this suspenseful experience into a comedy for me. At two distinct times, it sounds like the Director took a baseball bat and when to town on a piano. It wasn't a chord. It wasn't something in the scene. Just a loud sound of a whiffle ball bat to the keys that diffused the tension.

 

Why were there so many lizards in New York?

 

Why would Peter bring his camera with name on it where a dangerous will be? Why would he lie on his web with his MASK OFF playing bubble burst as his camera is going off on a timer? Why did he bring the camera at all? To get proof for the cops? The cops were already going to check it out. For the reward the Bugle was offering? Why is he concerned about that?

 

Why did the evil Indian guy decided to trick veterans with the serum by disguising it as flu shots? Why wouldn't they just pay volunteers, or ask for volunteers and get a waiver signed? Furthermore, whatever happened to the Indian guy in the car? The lizard attacks him, spider-man saves him by hanging his vehicle over the bridge and then he's gone. He didn't die when Spider-Man save him. Why didn't he immediately go to the police about Conner? If he didn't know it was Conner, why didn't he just continue with his stupid evil plan? Is still hanging over the side of the bridge in his car during the whole film?

 

The finale was goofy and cornball too. How did those construction worker get to an evacuated area fast enough to beat Spider-Man and get their machines up and running for him? I doubt they were doing construction as all these Lizard fights were going on. Also, what if Spider-Man was coming towards the Osborn building from a different direction? Or just wasn't on THAT rooftop that led to a perfect straight-line to the monster?

 

----------------------------------------------

Now a lot of these are small things, but it added up to being a serious detriment to the overall film. When product placement is a plot point and characters make incredibly stupid decisions just to advance the plot, it felt like a lesser experience.

 

e: Holy jeez this was long.

[ebok 26]

I think all three are fun to watch, but also very campy, so it's a little bit mind-blowing to me just how much people hate 3 and love 2. I turned off Spiderman 2 the other day because I had put it on looking for a lot of action, but I forgot how much of the first act was (just like 3) just about relationship stuff and Mary Jane becoming an actor and that kind of exciting superhero stuff. The first action sequence with Spiderman is him delivering pizzas, so... yeah. They are all a little bit silly, but that's ok.

[mattman92ish 823]

someone said once "With great budgets come crap movies" I actually enjoyed all of these movies even though yes 3 was pretty bad but in its entirety its not a bad series..I have no intention to see the new one

[MotorboatJones 41]

The thing with Spider-man 3 was that it was such a LET DOWN. After Spider-man 2 and all the hype about them doing the symbiote story, they really got people thinking this was going to be the shit. Instead, the tone fluctanted way too much and felt like it stopped caring as the production went on.

 

Regarding the Amazing Spider-man, it wasn't as much a let down because my expectations were so low that moving pictures on a screen would be enough. It wasn't the worst movie and it wasn't too nuch of a disappointment because it initially seemed like a cash-grab film, but it did have some faults.

 

SPOILER ALERT TO THOSE WHO HAVE YET SEEN ASM

 

Peter and Gwen's relationship comes from a place of criminal stalker. He takes pictures of her without knowing (First scene), but she's okay with it when Ben tells her because Peter is cute. He then sneaks into her place of work and takes her tour, but she's cool with it and helps him because he's cute. He then tells her he CLIMBED 22 STORIES IN A FIRE ESCAPE and somehow finds her window and watched her for a bit, but it cool because he's cute. Then Peter get's into an awkward argument with her father, reveals himself to be the problem her dad is facing, and has her, a high school student, treat serious monster wounds. She wasn't okay with it immediately, but then she remember how cute he was and got over it.

 

In the same scene when he stalkerishly climbs his way to her window (how did he know which window), why is it the first thing Denis Leary to Peter, "So you must be Peter". Shouldn't it have been, "How the fuck did you get into my condo? I didn't see/hear you walk through the front." You might be thinking that he might have just come in and thought Peter had come earlier, and that's fair. But WHAT ABOUT THE MOTHER AND SIBLINGS? How did that not come up immediately?

 

The product placement in this film was ridiculous. This is not a comprehensive list: 1) Sony's smartphone makes several appearance to show off its amazing features like swipe-to-ignore-call, a touch-screen, and the ability to play bubble burst. Ironically, the phone looked so bad in this movie. The screen especially when he's playing bubble burst. 2) Brand-name macaroni and cheese is a punchline. Aunt May is so shocked at Peter's hunger that he even took the BRAND-NAME macaroni and cheese. 3) Bing. Fucking Bing. It is more believable to me that a kid get bit by a super spider and get superpowers than it is that Peter, or anyone, uses Bing.

 

Speaking of Bing, are you telling me that Peter never searched for his father ever? When he finds the suitcase, Peter searches for his father on the internet and finds so many sites about him and is shocked by it. Did it never occur to him to search for his famous father on the internet? Maybe he he did using Google and couldn't find anything, so he went to Bing.

 

Further goofiness is all the pseudomath this movie has for the sake of drama. It's a small point, but it was really funny when there's a sinster experiment marked Double Null. If it's double null, does it mean it double negatives to all reals? Also, there is the scene with Dr. Conner. In this scene, Peter shows up to Conner's house, which is located in the 70s, to ask about his parents. But before that, Peter makes a one arm man make him coffee. Anyway, they talk and Conner's reveals that his work is incomplete. So Peter, being a nice guy, decides to help him by writing out an equation for him and Conner looks at Peter like he's a genius. What should have happened was Conner should have asked him to define the variables, give values, and basically explain what the hell he wrote. It was just a series of letters and the whole function is of "x", so Conner's will need so context.

 

This is a small point, but one of the best scenes in the film was spoiled for me because of a poor music choice. It's the scene when the Lizard is creeping around the lab and Gwen is hiding. It's tense, it's nervous, and Emma Stone really sells it. However, it only took two moments to turn this suspenseful experience into a comedy for me. At two distinct times, it sounds like the Director took a baseball bat and when to town on a piano. It wasn't a chord. It wasn't something in the scene. Just a loud sound of a whiffle ball bat to the keys that diffused the tension.

 

Why were there so many lizards in New York?

 

Why would Peter bring his camera with name on it where a dangerous will be? Why would he lie on his web with his MASK OFF playing bubble burst as his camera is going off on a timer? Why did he bring the camera at all? To get proof for the cops? The cops were already going to check it out. For the reward the Bugle was offering? Why is he concerned about that?

 

Why did the evil Indian guy decided to trick veterns with the serum by disguising it as flu shots? Why wouldn't they just pay volunteers, or ask for volunteers and get a waiver signed? Furthermore, whatever happened to the Indian guy in the car? The lizard attacks him, spider-man saves him by hanging his vehicle over the bridge and then he's gone. He didn't die when Spider-Man save him. Why didn't he immediately go to the police about Conners? If he didn't know it was Conners, why didn't he just continue with his stupid evil plan? Is still hanging over the side of the bridge in his car during the whole film?

 

The finale was goofy and cornball too. How did those construction worker get to an evacuated area fast enough to beat Spider-Man and get their machines up and running for him? I doubt they were doing construction as all these Lizard fights were going on. Also, what if Spider-Man was coming towards the Osborn building from a different direction? Or just wasn't on THAT rooftop that led to a perfect straight-line to the monster?

 

----------------------------------------------

Now a lot of these are small things, but it added up to being a serious detriment to the overall film. When product placement is a plot point and characters make incredibly stupid decisions just to advance the plot, it felt like a lesser experience.

 

e: Holy jeez this was long.

 

I was impressed that Peter had no problem getting cell phone reception in the sewer.

[Professor Procrastination 9]

Watch this movie after watching Spider-Man 2 and you will not belive that this was even the same decade let alone same stars and directors.

 

I do not recommend watching Spider-Man 3 after Spider-Man 2 AT ALL! Honestly, if you've ever seen Spider-Man 3, don't go back and watch the first two...it will just piss you off. Spider-Man 3 takes the 2 movie-long narrative of Harry and Peter's relationship and proceeds to shit all over it. Forget Topher Grace ruining Venom, forget about Mary Jane's inability to project her voice, and forget about the symbiote's choice in hair styles and 1950s role models. The first two movies set up a narrative to have an epic conclusion between Harry and Peter in the third act of the trilogy...it doesn't happen, instead we get amnesia and dancing.

[Xaston 98]

Finger guns lol

[RobM 66]

This was the first time I watched a movie in anticipation of the podcast (even though I saw Spidey 3 opening day). And there were so many things I never noticed before re-watching it this week that I was hoping you guys would mention.

 

Aunt May retells the story of how Uncle Ben proposed to her. She makes a big deal about how good of swimmers they were, and how he looked good in a bathing suit. So apparently they swam to an island, where Ben proposed with a giant diamond or something. Wait, did he swim over with an engagement ring? Did he stash it on the island? If he swam with it, where did he keep it? Was there a pocket on the suit that he put an engagement ring in and just hoped it wouldn't come loose in a river?

 

When Peter's giving Mary Jane one of his pep talks, he says she just needs to pick herself up, and get back on that horse, to which she snaps "Don't give me the horse thing!" Immediately my mind just imagined Peter constantly using that phrase with her, everywhere they go, even in situations that didn't really merit it. "So the grocery store is out of milk. It's alright. We just pick ourselves up, get back on our horse..." "Well, the Knicks lost. But once they get back up on that horse..." "My horse died. I'm a little down in the dumps, but soon my smile'll get right back on that horse..." I was hoping Jason would go off on a huge rant imagining that.

 

No questioning HOW DOES A GIANT CLOUD OF SAND FLY AROUND THE CITY?!?

 

Glad they caught the crowd nonsensically, immediately demanding Gwen kiss Spidey just because they were about two feet from one another.

[Batric 2]

Aunt May retells the story of how Uncle Ben proposed to her. She makes a big deal about how good of swimmers they were, and how he looked good in a bathing suit. So apparently they swam to an island, where Ben proposed with a giant diamond or something. Wait, did he swim over with an engagement ring? Did he stash it on the island? If he swam with it, where did he keep it? Was there a pocket on the suit that he put an engagement ring in and just hoped it wouldn't come loose in a river?

 

Maybe in a zipper pocket? It's not that big of a stretch to assume he devised some system to keep the ring safe, especially since he was an expert swimmer. I think, though I could be wrong, the point of the scene was to show the contrast between Peter's relationship with Mary Jane and Ben's with May.

 

When Peter's giving Mary Jane one of his pep talks, he says she just needs to pick herself up, and get back on that horse, to which she snaps "Don't give me the horse thing!" Immediately my mind just imagined Peter constantly using that phrase with her, everywhere they go, even in situations that didn't really merit it. "So the grocery store is out of milk. It's alright. We just pick ourselves up, get back on our horse..." "Well, the Knicks lost. But once they get back up on that horse..." "My horse died. I'm a little down in the dumps, but soon my smile'll get right back on that horse..." I was hoping Jason would go off on a huge rant imagining that.

 

It is now canon for me that Spider-Man's default phrase is, "Get back on the horse." Thank you for this gem.

"Wow, I can't believe Uncle Ben died. I guess I'm just going to have to get back on the horse with this Spider-Man stuff."

[Wien 401]

I haven't seen Spiderman 3 since it was in theaters, but I still remember what I hated most about this movie. The dumb sound cues... like everytime Sandman was on screen, that generic (heh) old timey foghorn music would come up and go "Bum bum buuuum" like we needed the audio to tell us he was the big badguy.

[LoCo 5]

A little trivia on the Butler.

 

His name is John Paxton and he's the father of Bill Paxton. That amazing delivery of his must have been developed in his earlier years running a lumber company in Texas, prior to deciding that he wanted to try his hand at acting, at the age of 70.

[PlanBFromOuterSpace 3138]

 

When Peter's giving Mary Jane one of his pep talks, he says she just needs to pick herself up, and get back on that horse, to which she snaps "Don't give me the horse thing!" Immediately my mind just imagined Peter constantly using that phrase with her, everywhere they go, even in situations that didn't really merit it. "So the grocery store is out of milk. It's alright. We just pick ourselves up, get back on our horse..." "Well, the Knicks lost. But once they get back up on that horse..." "My horse died. I'm a little down in the dumps, but soon my smile'll get right back on that horse..." I was hoping Jason would go off on a huge rant imagining that.

 

 

I'll do stuff like that once in a while. At work one day, someone asked me what time it was, so I replied with the ol' "Time for you to get a watch!" response. For the rest of the day, whenever anyone asked me a question, that was my answer to EVERYTHING.

[Lukas Holmes 2287]

 

I'll do stuff like that once in a while. At work one day, someone asked me what time it was, so I replied with the ol' "Time for you to get a watch!" response. For the rest of the day, whenever anyone asked me a question, that was my answer to EVERYTHING.

 

God I hope this is true.

[PlanBFromOuterSpace 3138]

 

God I hope this is true.

 

Oh, it certainly is!

[paultab 225]

 

 

 

I'll bet he ate lots of real pies in preparation for that shot. Just to get an idea of what a person enjoying pies feels like when he's enjoying pies. Also, he probably watched lots of other people eating pies in the same research jaunt. "No, keep eating. Don't mind me. Just keep.... eating...."

[paultab 225]

I'm kind of beside myself that they didn't at some point draw the Superman 3-Spiderman 3 connection of superheroes who, in contact with forces of pure id, just become superdouches. I love that that's as bad as they can become, that writers just don't have the heart to make them truly evil.

[PlanBFromOuterSpace 3138]

 

 

 

This scene makes me realize just how much I've grown up in the last few years. In the pantheon of great "People that really love their desserts" scenes, I used to rank Jason Biggs's pie-fuckfest in the first "American Pie" film as the pinnacle of what film could hope to achieve, but seeing Franco go to town on that thing in "Spider-Man 3" again, after not really appreciating it the first time (I was probably all "Men loving pie scenes in a PG-13 movie? That's bullshit! You can't show anything!"), has really opened my eyes. He LOVES that pie. More importantly, he is IN love with it, and I can fill in all the blanks without having it explicitly shown, which is truly the sign of a masterful scene. Behind closed doors, I can imagine him tearing that shit up, but it's much more romantic in the way we see it here.

[Geoff Kirklin 0]

 

 

This scene makes me realize just how much I've grown up in the last few years. In the pantheon of great "People that really love their desserts" scenes, I used to rank Jason Biggs's pie-fuckfest in the first "American Pie" film as the pinnacle of what film could hope to achieve, but seeing Franco go to town on that thing in "Spider-Man 3" again, after not really appreciating it the first time (I was probably all "Men loving pie scenes in a PG-13 movie? That's bullshit! You can't show anything!"), has really opened my eyes. He LOVES that pie. More importantly, he is IN love with it, and I can fill in all the blanks without having it explicitly shown, which is truly the sign of a masterful scene. Behind closed doors, I can imagine him tearing that shit up, but it's much more romantic in the way we see it here.

 

Don't forget the amazing pie loving that took place in Old Dogs. When travolta perform "aggressive cunnelingus" on the cherry pie at the bereavement group. That could be a literallys category if there were more movies that had love affairs between actors and pies

[PlanBFromOuterSpace 3138]

Don't forget the amazing pie loving that took place in Old Dogs. When travolta perform "aggressive cunnelingus" on the cherry pie at the bereavement group. That could be a literallys category if there were more movies that had love affairs between actors and pies

 

Hey, sometimes only 2 or 3 movies get nominated in a category in the Oscars. That never made sense to me, because I mean EVERY movie has sound effects and sound design. Same with visual effects. They're categories that exist to recognize big loud action films, and it's reason why there are Michael Bay films that can be called *shudder* "Academy Award-Winning".

[MovieVigilante 2]

That Ursula sure gets turned on by evil Peter Parker ordering her around. I wonder what other kinky stuff she's into?

[Xaston 98]

Just ran across this on reddit. Thought it was relevant to this topics topic:

 

http://imgur.com/rERzW

[PlanBFromOuterSpace 3138]

That Ursula sure gets turned on by evil Peter Parker ordering her around. I wonder what other kinky stuff she's into?

 

She was in at least the second season of "Hung" (I haven't seen the third season yet), and there was some nudity involved. If I remember correctly, it was her birthday...

[VoltonDeluxe 0]

I would love to see cartoons of Venom attaching fails.... Please someone???!?! And make shirts haha!!

[johnnyhaggis 63]

I realize I'm reviving an ancient thread about an old episode but WTF? I just listened to this, and read through these posts, and despite being a huge Paul Scheer and Jason Mantzoukas fan, I can't disagree with everyone more!

 

I really feel like everyone missed the point of this movie. Sure Spiderman III was long, and had too much going on, and sure there was plenty of superfluous and ridiculous nonsese as described on the HDTGM episode, but superhero movies are supposed to be dumb, and Spiderman III was by far the best of the Spiderman movies, and one of the best superhero movies made yet.

 

Unless they're Alan Moore adaptations, big hollywood superhero movies are generally kind of stupid. They're written by 14 year olds for 14 year olds. Mass audience, LCD. Spideman III wasn't genius, but it was fun and it was a bit different. It had a sense of humour about itself. It was charming, just like marvel comics are at their best.

 

That scene with funky Peter pimpin his new duds down the street, being derided by babes was hilarious and one of my favourite scenes of any film ever. I liked that Sandman was just tryiing to help his daughter, you could actually relate to him, and I was in fact rooting for him. FU US health care system!

 

Anyways, long dead thread and no one cares, but if you watch this movie without expecting the depth of ancient greek epics, nor to be blown away by teenage testosterone, it's a fun 2.5 hrs.

 

I do have to say I feel pretty dumb agreeing with the obviously retarded amazon.com reviewers quoted on the show, but hey, so be it!

[Neclord 194]

I and many others watched the movie only expecting quality approaching that of Spider-Man 2. We feel it did not deliver.

[RafiBomb! 0]

I went to see this movie at midnight because I was so excited for the next spiderman movie, especially after the last one hit it out of the park. I fell asleep during this one and I think that says all that needs to be said.