Episode 41 — Spider-Man 3

[admin 330]

As Jason puts it, imagine being a young child who LOVES the Spider-Man series, then finds out half of this movie is about Mary Jane's failing Broadway career. Who Charted's Kulap Vilaysack joins the gang to discuss how an excess of villains, dance sequences, and finger guns make this a painful end to the Spider-Man trilogy. Now dig on this!

[KajusX 1807]

That shirt is canon! lololololz

[sorrykansas.com 77]

I have to admit that I cheated on this one. I'd seen it when it came out, but thankfully forgot most of it. So I decided to watch it with rifftrax commentary. It really helped, I don't know if I'd have made it through otherwise. Another great episode, you guys nailed it! Particle physics test facility...jesus christ.

[sissylion 41]

While the first two movies are better in practically every way, I don't think I've enjoyed any part of a superhero movie as much as I did the club scene from Spider-Man 3. Peter Parker whips his coat back so hard it creates a gust of wind that blows Gwen Stacy's hair out of place, and then he says, "Now dig on this."

 

It's the greatest thing I've ever seen.

[VampiresVampiresVampires 303]

While the first two movies are better in practically every way, I don't think I've enjoyed any part of a superhero movie as much as I did the club scene from Spider-Man 3. Peter Parker whips his coat back so hard it creates a gust of wind that blows Gwen Stacy's hair out of place, and then he says, "Now dig on this."

 

It's the greatest thing I've ever seen.

 

I hope you are not being sarcastic, because I got a charge out of this, too. Everyone else points to this as the downfall of the franchise, but I saw it as a satisfying F U to a bunch of whiny, one-dimensional "friend" characters. This was a breath of fresh air after the forced emotional weight of the beginning of the movie. Bad movie; good scene.

[Lukas Holmes 2287]

I love how Jason goes off on MJ's Broadway performance. I look so forward to these shows so much. God bless HDTGM. Every one.

 

Oh, and HOLY CRAP, the talk about Ursula. "She's definitely on the spectrum...but in a super sexy way." That was perhaps the hardest I've ever laughed at this show.

[KeeganBBeinhower 2]

Love this podcast. I need more! More I say!

[robinsbruce 4985]

instantaneously horny!

 

The chemistry of two sacks of wet dogshit.

 

June asking what time period the movie took place in made me fucking lose it.

 

Finger guns, finger guns.

[Cole P 4]

Man, I remember when this movie came out I was SO excited for Venom. He was my favorite Spidey villain, and he was gonna be this enormous montrous creature that was gonna kick ass the whole time. And then I saw the movie. I don't think they could've made Venom in this movie any less like the crazy badass he is in the comics.....

 

Great episode, guys. This shitty movie is full of WTF moments.

[sauze 111]

Kulap!

[CameronRobson 1]

This movie would've already become a cult classic if the filmmakers had exaggerated everything to the point they did with the evil Peter Parker scene.

[Ghost of HST 71]

I have never seen the first two Spiderman movies either but you can see flashes of how much Raimi gets the comic book aesthetic but was certainly bogged down by a lot of extra crap here. Watch Darkman if you have never seen it - it really captures the feel of comics and, given the budget and 1990-era SFX, it is quite entertaining.

[RyanSz 3140]

Talk about a crapfest of a movie, especially after how awesome Spiderman 2 was. From disco dancing to half-amnesia this movie sucked. I completely forgot about the cookie scene, damn Peter Parker, you evil.

[jakenutting 14]

Um, how about the level of pleasure Franco was getting from the pie in that diner scene?

[PlanBFromOuterSpace 3138]

This was one of the worst cases of "Everyone's deal is up, so let's not leave anything in the tank, because this is the final one...until the next one"-itis EVER (see also: the third X-Men, the third Pirates, the 80s-90s Batman series), which I completely don't understand when it comes to comic book films, like how the studio even lets it happen. I mean, if it makes money, they'll make more, but when you tie up every loose end, kill off half of the interesting characters, and leave nothing for the NEXT guy to play with, you're forcing a reboot. The new one, "Amazing Spider-Man" has one of the most unnecessary origin re-tellings ever, but the actors are great and it made Gwen Stacy an actual character, so I'd like to see where it goes. I'd much rather have this than a "Spider-Man 4" that would have tried to make something of the scraps left to it by the clusterfuck that was "Spider-Man 3".

 

I don't know if any of you read comics, but on a flagship monthly book, when one creative team leaves and another takes over, the departing team typically isn't allowed to screw over the next guys. They usually wrap up the story (within the bigger ongoing story) that they set out to tell, maybe shake up the status quo a bit, but they don't burn through the entire roster of remaining characters and devalue them to the point that no one's going to want to touch them again. Again, who the hell wanted to see a continuation of "Spider-Man 3"? If "Venom" returned or got his own movie, would we give a shit? ThePeter/Harry dynamic was pretty interesting, but with Harry dead, is there anyone that can fill the best friend role? MJ's an insufferable bitch, what's left for her to fail at? Actually, I'd kind of like to see her downward spiral, maybe start doing drugs and porn and...where was I? Oh yeah...

 

It's in the publisher's or studio's best interests to not have to start over, because no matter how much better it might be the second time around (X-Men: First Class OWNED), it's still an admission of guilt for fucking up so bad in the first place, and that's a tough shadow to have to step out of.

[Skeevins 322]

I'd love for that Butler to just pick up the narrative slack of all movies in the third act.

 

"I loved Citizen Kane...I cleaned up his puke...and ladies and gentlemen of the press, Rosebud was just a goddamn sled. This man clearly died mourning for his lost childhood."

 

I dug the new Amazing Spider-man movie. I think Kulap should be monitored for 1920's slang, sexual harassment, and inexplicable dance numbers, because I fear the Venom suit may have infected her as well.

[rararachel 190]

love this podcast, love this trainwreck of a movie (but mostly the weird emo disco peter parker scenes). i wish kulap could be on every podcast ever, because her laugh is so infectious.

[wyldride 285]

They didn't reboot the series because this movie was bad. This movie was bad so they could reboot the series. If Spider-man 3 was a success, it'd mean they'd have to pay way more to the actors and director for Spider-man 4. So the studio tanked this one on purpose by insisting on a bunch of useless crap being thrown in. The result is a reboot with a higher profit margin with new actors and a new director.

[Shannon 2953]

Um, how about the level of pleasure Franco was getting from the pie in that diner scene?

 

 

[action52 554]

I did like that they (partially) complimented the "evil Peter Parker" bit. People seem to treat it like the worst thing ever but I thought parts of it were genuinely good. If they had played it totally comedically I think it could have been brilliant. It was so funny watching him trying to be cool and making a complete ass of himself. I would even say it fits the character, because Peter Parker is a pretty dorky guy, and to me it seems believable that the "evil" version of himself would try to be cool and fail at it.

 

But they kept trying to play it seriously, like Peter Parker genuinely WAS cool, and was seriously making the ladies' pussies gush with every cheesy one-liner. And even if the writing hadn't been bad, and it hadn't been totally out of character, Tobey Maguire just can not pull it off. Part of the reason I loved Tobey Maguire as Spider-Man is because he's NOT cool. He was perfect as a dorky everyman, the geeky teen who grows into an adult who is still kinda nerdy, but accepts himself for who he is and becomes a normal, successful person. Which is what makes Spider-Man so popular--he's a lot more relatable than most superheroes. But he is not "cool," and neither is Tobey Maguire, and he looks like an idiot when he tries.

 

But that's the movie in a nutshell. Some good ideas, but lots of crappy ones, and they're all just crammed in to the point where they choke each other to death.

 

 

 

On a related note, I also agree with Kulap that I liked this one better than Amazing Spider-Man. Amazing is a cool-moving movie that is very by-the-numbers, mediocre, and has no emotional resonance whatsoever. Spider-Man 3 was a train-wreck of the movie, and while most of the enjoyment may have been on a so-bad-it's good level, I definitely had a lot more fun watching it. If nothing else it was very memorable.

[WinterDecay 3]

The dancing down the street was such ... I cant even put it into words ... I just wanted to walk out of the movie ...

 

The new green goblin costume which was even shitter than the other green goblin

 

Watch this movie after watching Spider-Man 2 and you will not belive that this was even the same decade let alone same stars and directors.

 

They never explain where Venom came from, they never bother to explain what happens to Sandman's daughter,

[SuckerpunchRoy 3]

JK Simmons said in an interview, I think it was to AV Club, that the studio pretty much threw out the script and made them add and change things on a daily basis. That's why it feels like such a colossal mess, because even the cast and filmmakers had no idea what they were doing and how they were going to put it all together.

 

But I'm definitely with Kulap. I didn't think it would be possible to make a worse Spider-Man movie than Spider-Man 3, but Amazing Spider-Man was probably worse. It had similar, but not as obvious, script issues but, man, was it more boring than a dog's ass.

[Hot - Slunch 772]

Four things:

 

1. I'm glad you guys gave Bruce Campbell a shout out. He's awesome in everything.

 

2. I was so psyched for Thomas Haden Church to be Sandman. I thought he looked perfect for it and was another solid choice for an enemy after Alfred Molina as Doc Ock.

 

3. Why'd they make Eddie Brock such a bitch? Goes from jock and bad ass in the comics/cartoon to Topher Grace?

 

4. Marissa Wompler probably loved all the finger gunning in this movie.

 

JK Simmons said in an interview, I think it was to AV Club, that the studio pretty much threw out the script and made them add and change things on a daily basis. That's why it feels like such a colossal mess, because even the cast and filmmakers had no idea what they were doing and how they were going to put it all together.

 

Interesting, that makes a lot of sense. Sam and Ivan Raimi along with another guy (who wrote on the second one) are given writing credits. I feel like if what you posted is true, the studio fired and shot down so much that Sam and Ivan hopped on and just cobbled a bunch of drafts together.

[joshg 207]

Great podcast!

I agree that Amazing Spider-man sucked, and wish it also got some HDTGM treatment. How was Emma Stone not creeped out by a guy whose uncle tells her she's on his screensaver, and later he shows up on her fire escape?

[JosephKeller 0]

I only wanted to mention one thing, WHY WAS EDDIE BROCK IN HIS TWENTIES?!