Bad Halloween Movies!

[sillstaw 414]

How has nobody suggested "The Happening" in this thread yet? We need our lemon drinks eyed and our hot dogs praised for their cool shape and protein!

[Phoenix West 1]

Ghosts Of Mars. It's got a perfect mix of nonsense and only made half of its money back in theaters despite having Ice Cube and being a John Carpenter movie.

[Professor Procrastination 9]

I have to say the Blair Witch Project...just because it created the found footage genre that I can't stand. However, I did enjoy the softcore porn edition of it...the Bare Wench Project.

[mediocretes 0]

The first movie that popped into my head was Halloween III; not surprised it was the first one listed. It's just ridiculous.

[NavinRJohnson 0]

Jeepers Creepers. Holy Crap, what a piece of shit. AND, it's produced by Francis Ford Coppola! What! If you want to increase your enjoyment, listen to the director's commentary. He thinks he IS Francis Ford Coppola, and admits to running out of money at the end of the movie. I was so appalled by this movie that I had to listen to the director's commentary afterward for any enlightenment. It's better than the movie.

[HollywoodsDumpingGroundVanBC 1]

Does the Ebola Syndrome count as a Halloween film? Possibly the first unwatchable, unlistenable, unreviewable, HDTGM ever!

"A restaurant employee murders his boss and mutilates his wife, he escapes to South Africa where he rapes a Zulu-girl, who is infected with the ebola virus. In the restaurant where he now works he murders his boss and the bosses wife after raping her. He chops them up and makes them into hamburgers, which he sells in the restaurant, spreading the ebola virus. When the police come on his trail he moves back to Hong Kong and an ebola epidemic starts there."

[sorrykansas.com 77]

Halloween 3 sucks ass, not in a funny way. BFD, it's Halloween without Michael Meyers, that's the funny part. Of course I'm probably just butt-hurt that I started a thread just like this 2 weeks ago when Paul asked...check it out. I'll add my vote for Hellraiser 4 with Adam Scott as the guest. If Adam can't or won't do it, then pick something else.

[sorrykansas.com 77]

What about Halloween 6 with Paul Rudd. I'm pretty sure I'm the only person who's seen that movie. They try pathetically to shoehorn an entire mythology into the series.

[PlanBFromOuterSpace 3138]

What about Halloween 6 with Paul Rudd. I'm pretty sure I'm the only person who's seen that movie. They try pathetically to shoehorn an entire mythology into the series.

 

Halloween 6, while much more of a Halloween film than part 3 (which isn't really saying anything), really did it's best to murder the franchise by going the route that already DIDN'T work for the most recent Nightmare on Elm Street and Friday the 13th installments ("New Nightmare" and "Jason Goes to Hell") and making the killer a supernatural force of nature. This is the film that Danielle Harris wouldn't come back for (look at her resume, she ain't picky...), not to mention it KILLED Donald Pleasence. In a way though, it was kind of a blessing in disguise in that it introduced us to the unintentionally hilarious dramatic acting of young Paul Rudd, and it failed so badly that we got Jamie Lee Curtis back in a REAL Halloween movie...before the series went off the rails again with Busta Rhymes all of a sudden using his kung-fu skills to beat Michael Myers.

 

I'm not sure I've seen it mentioned yet, but did anyone that's seen Halloween 3 wonder why it seemed like EVERY kid in America had one of the same 3 masks, like they were LITERALLY the only Halloween costumes that year?

[sillstaw 414]

Jeepers Creepers. Holy Crap, what a piece of shit. AND, it's produced by Francis Ford Coppola! What! If you want to increase your enjoyment, listen to the director's commentary. He thinks he IS Francis Ford Coppola, and admits to running out of money at the end of the movie.

 

You forgot to mention the best part (and by "best" I mean "most depressing"): The director is a convicted kiddie pornographer and a registered sex offender!

[seanotron 2307]

Please do Halloween 3. I suggested it over a year ago and it really needs a Paul/June/Jason dissection. I love Carpenter but that movie is just nuts. Killer Celtic Robots! Child murder! Tom Atkins!

[CWBaer 3]

I'd like to second the previous commenter, "Teeth" is truly something to behold. A girl with a vagina with teeth. Also what about the movie "Death Bed: The Bed That Eats People" as documented in Patton Oswalt's stand up special Werewolves and Lollipops?

[Virgil Hale 1]

"Cutting Class." Brad Pitt's finest performance to date.

[Julia 477]

Thanks for the suggestions, everyone!

 

Now... go to the HDTGM Facebook page & tell Paul Scheer which Halloween movie should be selected: Halloween 3, Halloween 6, or Sleepaway Camp?

[wyldride 285]

Killer Eye: Halloween Haunt

 

Sort of a vague sequel to The Killer Eye, but only in the sense that they keep showing footage from it because the characters are sort of watching it. I honestly only watched it because comedienne Danielle Stewart plays the voice of one of the characters' mother over the phone. But, hey, there's nudity. It doesn't make the movie any better, but it does make it a bad movie with nudity.

[wyldride 285]

Samhain.

 

It features Jenna Jameson and has a guy killed by having his bowels ripped out. Also, Hallowe'en is partly based on the harvest festival of Samhain.

[PlanBFromOuterSpace 3138]

Samhain.

 

It features Jenna Jameson and has a guy killed by having his bowels ripped out. Also, Hallowe'en is partly based on the harvest festival of Samhain.

 

Oh man, I saw this one with my old roommate and his girlfriend. After Jenna Jameson (who's in a grand total of two scenes) gets totally eviscerated, I remember telling the girlfriend something like "Believe it or not, she probably still shows more of her insides at her REGULAR acting gig".

[Henry 3777]

Squirm, a movie about killer worms (available on Netflix instant)

 

[Face_Feast 1]

Ghoulies

 

Ghoulies II

 

Ghoulies III: Ghoulies go to College (Mathew Lillards first role in a film)

 

Ghoulies IV

 

 

Street Trash

 

[Tron83 3]

Thankskilling, coming in at a whopping 1 hour and 6 minutes, follows college students who are hunted down by a deranged turkey over thanksgiving break.

[DartanganMcgee 30]

Halloween Shit-tacular 2012: Freddy Vs. Jason

 

This movie would be perfect, Kelly Rowland's "performance" alone is so entertainingly bad. She has a mind-numbingly retarded exchange with freddy krueger, before she is subsequently killed by jason, that contains some of the dumbest dialogue I've ever heard. Also, we learn of Freddy's affinity for black women in the very same scene.

 

Here's a taste...

 

[inactiveuser501 168]

The Haunting (1999) should be done if for no other reason, than the fact that Jan de Bont directed it, that it desecrates the ideas from the 1960's original, and that the teaser and the official trailer are just...take a look.

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tsg0HZq0MNw

 

[rockblackstone 0]

Halloween 3. If Birdemic and Jaws: The Revenge had a baby, it would be this movie.

[Chris Piers 3]

Halloween 3 would be great.

Nothing but Trouble.

Freddy vs. Jason.

[zombiphile 0]

Literally just joined the forum for one reason: to beg for you to do Halloween III: Season of the Witch. Luckily there's a whole cavalcade of folks suggesting it. The reasons have been well listed already, but just for the sake of overkill: Tom Atkins fighting robots to prevent a master plan involving killing children, set to a great '80s synth soundtrack. Also, spontaneous snakes.

 

And: it is really easy to find. It just had a new BluRay release, it was previously on DVD from both Universal and, before that, Goodtimes, and literally any place that sells used DVDs is guaranteed to have it.