Episode 50 — Twilight Breaking Dawn Pt 2

[admin 330]

Finally, the Twilight saga has come to an end and Doug Benson is back to help wrap up Twilight: Breaking Dawn – Part 2! We cover everything from the CGI baby, numerous decapitations, and vampire stereotypes. We also talk about why Jacob is literally the worst, how the movie becomes a pale version of X-Men, and the insane plot twist. Which part of the movie did Jason cry at? You’ll have to listen to find out!

[Gym Sockerman 1326]

I'd love to hear Marissa Wompler's take on what Paul is doing in that group photo.

[striolo807 4]

To clear up some confusion:

 

Renesme is Rene plus Esme. Rene is Bella's mom and Esme is Edwards "mom." If it was a boy she was going to name it Edward Jacob.

 

Girls can be wolves, Leah Clearwater is one. The woman that not Tom Skerritt is dating is not a wolf but knows about them and knows about the Volturi coming.

 

Imprinting can happen with other people besides wolves.

 

Renesme's power is to show others things she has seen in the past with the touch of a hand. When she is touching people it is showing them that she has aged over time, unlike immortal children which don't age and can't control their thirst and tantrums.

 

That guy Alice hangs out with is Jasper not Julian.

 

They don't explain in the movies that the wolves don't age as long as there are vampires around, so as long as Jacob is with Renesme, Bella and Edward he will stay immortal along with them allowing him to be with Renesme forever. The idea is they are in love.

 

In the book there was no fight at all, so people who have read the book (like myself) were freaked out, when Aro ripped Carlsile's head off it was literally bonkers.

[therealMATTLOXLEY 135]

every time jason says literally..garbage..or bananas I squeal.. and grown men cheering over twilight makes me love this podcast even more...great ep!

[JacobCrites 4977]

I actually thought the Hunger Games movie was pretty brilliant. Those books just feel like they tap into the current youth culture of constant exposure to reality TV and violence-obsessed media, and it has a female lead that's actually believable and likeable; the movie had great performances and appropriately chaotic direction during the hunger games proper. In any case they're way more relevent and coherent than these Twilight movies. I can't follow of a single minute of them.

 

Anyway, best line of the episode: "Baby puss."

[GrahamCox 4]

I went into this movie with my feet dragging as I was forced to go from a thanksgiving tradition my girlfriends family/friends have. I've seen the first two and they were just bad... but this.....

 

WAS SO GOOD, mostly because it was BONKERS.

 

The twist? amazing. Eating a cougar? Amazing. Arm wrestling? Over the TOP. (edit: oh.. you guys made that joke too... prob should listen to the whole thing before I try to make wakka wakkas)

Sparkle orgasm, abrecombie ad ending montage, bad CG (and baby), corny lines, an epic battle that never happens, and oh so much more. I'd rank this movie up with the room and troll 2 easily. It's that bad.

 

In a movie that did NOT need part 1 or 2 (just combine them!..oh wait, $$$) this ending to a series just felt like a 'fuck it' in the editing room, but whatever magic happened in there sure did come out on screen as a masterpiece of horribleness.

 

I've never had a more laugh out loud time at a theater in a long while and I even felt a little guilty as I noticed 20 somethings behind me were crying towards the end.

[jtoddles 0]

they are actually talking about a TV series... it better as fuck have Lee Pace in it.

 

only image this movie should leave you with

http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/Twilight-Breaking-Daw-Part-2.gif

[jtoddles 0]

also, Saw MasterPancake do Eclipse at the Alamo Drafthouse. so worth it. Please please please bring your show to Chicago

[rararachel 190]

This is the most fun I've had at the theater in a long, long time. It was crazy and awesome. I love that Paul, Jason, and Doug loved the insanity too.

 

Also in the book they all just talk and go home, no fake battle, so this was 4000x better.

[seanotron 2307]

To clear up some confusion:

 

Renesme is Rene plus Esme. Rene is Bella's mom and Esme is Edwards "mom." If it was a boy she was going to name it Edward Jacob.

 

 

Explaining the name does not help the fact that it is a terrible, stupid name.

[Wien 401]

Holy shit, this was one of the most difficult episodes I've ever had to sit through....

 

All I wanted to do was jump in with my own commentary, this movie just got MOTHER. FUCKING. NUTS.

 

If beheading is the primary way that a vampire kills another vampire, then why don't any of these guys have swords?!?!? Why choose to behead each other in the most difficult way possible? Do they live in a world where The Highlander was never created?

 

God the CGI baby... I lost my shit when I saw that. And yes Paul, the baby was CGI because it was doing some serious facial acting. That baby always had this look of like serenity and messiah like wisdom on its face. It did NOT act like a baby, baby's aren't wise and benevolent. But thats the look they wanted the baby to have, presumably to make the audience connect with a monster child in a way that would make them sympathize with it....

 

The explosion of violence was unexpected and incredibly awesome. I kind of spammed my FB at that moment:

 

"A Ninja Gaiden beheading!!!!"

 

"In the waning moments of this AWFUL movie, it suddenly turned into a beheadathon! heads are rolling EVERYWHERE"

 

The fight scene was pretty cool, but I don't get why all these vampires suddenly turned into like a shitty Naruto or Bleach. Was it like that in the earlier books? This movie basically turned into a Bleach fanfiction story.

 

I love how the father doesn't seem to care at all that Jacob is a werewolf, and doesn't make the connection that maybe the super pale son in law and his super pale friends might be vampires.

 

The psyche out ending... I never laughed so hard in my life. I don't understand how there isn't a class action lawsuit against Stephenie Meyer from her fans for that bullshit. What a gutless hack! Like these stories didn't lack enough consequences or substance anyway! Where is George RR Martin when you need him....

 

In the first recording of Breaking Dawn 1, when everyone is speculating about the significance of imprinting, you can head Jason in the background saying "He's gunna FUCK that baby....". At that moment, I was like "Oh geez, Jason always has to go beyond... wtf". But in the opening of this movie, THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT THEY IMPLIED!!! Even at the end of the movie, they imply that Jacob IS, in fact, fucking that baby!!!! WHAT THE FUCK???

 

My favorite scene in the movie: The wolf falling into the chasm in slow motion. It was I shit you not the exact same shot of Mufasa falling to his death in The Lion King...

[PlanBFromOuterSpace 3138]

Lautner has historically been pretty bad at being funny, so while you can blame the lame humor on the writers, his delivery doesn't help it sound any better. I mentioned months ago in the "Abduction" thread that if his characters existed in the real world, and not these bizarre alternate dimensions where he's the coolest and funniest guy in the room, you'd be telling him right to his face to just shut the fuck up before he even got the chance to make another quip. He's the guy that still says "Whoa, why don't you tell us how you REALLY feel!". I met Lautner a couple of times when I worked on "Abduction" in Pittsburgh (Did you know the movie takes place in Pittsburgh? The movie itself tells you every 20 seconds just in case you weren't sure), and while he seems like a nice enough kid, I have the feeling that he's going to drop off the radar in a big way before popping up in bit parts in Robert Rodriguez movies in a few years or something.

[dimattiafilms 2]

Proof that life doesn't start at conception. It begins at 7 years. Up until then, you're a CGI baby.

[RyanSz 3140]

Holy shit this episode was great, I just wish June was there to take it to the next level and I would totally listen to B-Real narrating anything. I am amazed at the hypocrisy of the MPAA when it comes to rating certain movies. a big budget studio flick like this can have beheadings, dead infants, and all kinds of sex and get a PG-13, but a smaller flick says "Fuck" twice and gets an R. This Film is Not Yet Rated is a great documentary that points out all of the flaws and favoritism of the MPAA and this movie really points those things out. I mean Interview with a Vampire had just as much if not less gore but that got an R, but since this is meant for teen girls and housewives it gets a more favorable rating, absurd.

[Wien 401]

By the way, I haven't seen Dark Knight Rises yet.........

[drmoney 3]

The book did not have the big fight scene, which made it extremely anticlimactic. Alice walks up to Aro, shows him the future, and everyone's all like, "Well, ok, I guess we have nothing to fight about, see you later" and the book ends. The way the movie handled it was WAY BETTER.

[JimB-Reay 53]

Jason referring to Renesmee and Jacob "Stone Cold Bone-Zoning" has made my week.

 

I do love it when the gang gets confused and argues about plot points - it truly does bring that whole "hanging with your friends" vibe. June was missed, alas, but the BoneZone Gang did a fine job.

[sarCCastro 1]

Guys, it's true. Jacob imprinting on Renesmee means that he met his soulmate. It means she is his one true love. He's in love with her. He's in love with that baby. He's gonna eventually bone that baby. No two ways about it. That's what it means. So, yes...that's why Bella's super-pissed about it.

[fatcraftybitch 0]

Was anyone else expecting Pete Holmes's voice to come out of the creepy CGI/E*TRADE baby. Surely I can't be alone in this....

 

As to why the baby was in CGI to begin with - If I am remembering correctly the baby doesn't just grow quickly, its grows out of order. Meaning even when its technically baby sized it might have more adult looking eyes and can talk or understand english. As Wien said above, it's supposed to be wise and be able to express itself.....in the books the baby also likes to bite people and drinks blood.

[choochoo_the_wonder_slut 740]

Guys I was in the theater watching this with Mitt Romney and his wife and don't worry, he told me babies can totally shut that whole thing down if they're being sexed by a werewolf.

[RyanSz 3140]

Also, I can't wait to hear the Devil's Advocate episode to hear about the mix of insanity that is Keanu and Pacino, priceless.

[seanotron 2307]

Also, I can't wait to hear the Devil's Advocate episode to hear about the mix of insanity that is Keanu and Pacino, priceless.

 

Oh god, Pacino is Pacinoing so hard in that movie that I was afraid he was going to pull something.

[RyanSz 3140]

Favorite part of that movie is when Keanu asks where Pacino fucks after not seeing a bed in his penthouse.

[robinsbruce 4985]

Pacino impressions! I may literally shit myself.

[Wien 401]

I hope Pete Holmes is in on that Pacino impression. He should be the resident Guest Pacino host