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Episode 217 - Jaws 3-D

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Celebrate 4th of July weekend with Paul, June, and Jason as they discuss the 1983 action thriller Jaws 3-D. They talk about old school jet skis, why SeaWorld would agree to being in the movie, all of the non-sharks kissing each other on the mouth, and more. Plus, June shares a story about picking up pizzas in Ojai with Paul for a Holiday get together with their dear friends that Jason wasn’t invited to and Paul shares an embarrassing story from his youth.

This episode is brought to you by Buffy Comforters (www.buffy.co code: BONKERS), Squarespace (www.squarespace.com/BONKERS code: BONKERS), Simplisafe (www.simplisafe.com/bonkers), and Starbucks Triple Shot Energy Drink.

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Hey all... sorry I haven’t posted in awhile  

So Paul mentioned how strange it was that Michael Brody (ie. Dennis Quaid) didn't call out that he's had issues with sharks in the past. No reference to Amnity, etc. But taking that a step further, I now have major annoyances with this character's reaction to a great white in Jaws 4. 

 

In the 4th film, Michael is pumped to follow and study a great white shark that is known to these waters. So you're telling me, after witnessing a man being eaten alive in front of you as a child (thus causing you to go into shock)... to then a great white killing co-workers and almost eating you multiple times... that when you find a 3rd GWS, you want to study it?!

 

Fuuuuuhhhhhccckkkk You!!! Get eaten. 

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One thing that was very clear from this movie is that Dr. Morgan absolutely picked the right career path to be a marine biologist.  She had a HUGE joyous reaction to finding out that both dolphins had survived.  That was about a minute after seeing her coworker Control Room Fred eaten alive in front of her not to mention seeing the body of FitzRoyce in the shark's mouth.  I'd say her reaction to the baby shark dying was also a lot stronger than towards any human tragedy that happened.

I definitely thought LGJ was the owner of the park not just the administrator.  I am pretty sure one of the reporters at the start of the movie called him an eccentric entrepreneur.

My absolute favorite part of the movie was when they added what sounded like a lion's roar for the shark.

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36 minutes ago, ChunkStyle said:

I definitely thought LGJ was the owner of the park not just the administrator.  I am pretty sure one of the reporters at the start of the movie called him an eccentric entrepreneur.

 

I started watching this last night, and haven’t listened to the episode yet, but you are 100% correct. 

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Paul mentioned the early 80s resurgence of 3D in the 80s.  It started with Friday the 13th Part III (IN 3D!).  Paul said the other big 3D movie he remembers seeing was Dreamscape.  But Dreamscape wasn't a 3D movie, so I don't know what Paul saw in the theaters.  There were a ton of 3D movies to chose from (Spacehunter, Metalstorm, Treasure of the Four Crowns), but I'm not sure how any of those could be confused with Dreamscape.  Maybe Paul is conflating Jaws 3D scenes with Dreamscape because they both star Dennis Quad?  Was this 3D version of Dreamscape preceded by an animated short of the Bernstein Bears?

As for Jaws 3D, this was played a lot on cable when I was a kid (never saw it in the theater).  I always thought it was cheesy and boring.   But just a few years ago, I bought a 3D blu-ray of the movie and found it extremely entertaining.  The bad composites and weird camera angles work great in 3D.  The 3D actually hides the bad special effects, and in the restored movie, a lot of the beach shots are quite stunning in 3D.  The movie knows it is a B-movie and has some of the most fun, intentionally gratuitous 3D effects you'll find in a movie.  Most of the gags and composite shots (like the shark coming at the glass) look completely dumb in 2D, but in 3D they work.  It's a great popcorn movie to watch with friends just to see who will jump at stuff coming at the screen.  The opening titles alone will make most people duck.  It's a guilty pleasure

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41 minutes ago, ChunkStyle said:

One thing that was very clear from this movie is that Dr. Morgan absolutely picked the right career path to be a marine biologist.  She had a HUGE joyous reaction to finding out that both dolphins had survived.  That was about a minute after seeing her coworker Control Room Fred eaten alive in front of her not to mention seeing the body of FitzRoyce in the shark's mouth.  I'd say her reaction to the baby shark dying was also a lot stronger than towards any human tragedy that happened.I

Again, fast forward to Jaws 4... Michael has transitioned from a structural engineer to marine biologist; focusing on conchs in the Bahamas.

So is it safe to assume that his trip to South America not only caused the demise of his relationship with Dr. Morgan, but also caused a mid-life career change?

After being attacked twice in his life, I’m shocked Michael made this decision to follow a career that would put him into harm’s way. Maybe the break up drove him to have a death wish. 

Thoughts?

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Fun episode, but honestly the part I enjoyed the most was the discussion at the end about Jason's fanny pack. It was nice to hear just the three of them in studio joking around.

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Just now, pscudese said:

Thoughts?

Is Ian Zeiring's character from the Sharknado films the son of Dennis Quaid?

Does this family have some kind of superpower that enables them to attract great white sharks? And IF SO:

Is Dennis Quaid the original Aquaman? Are the sharks in the Jaws film simply trying to communicate with their leader?

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I have never been more in love with Jason then when he talked about his fanny pack and it's contents

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2 hours ago, GammaDev said:

Paul mentioned the early 80s resurgence of 3D in the 80s.  It started with Friday the 13th Part III (IN 3D!).  Paul said the other big 3D movie he remembers seeing was Dreamscape.  But Dreamscape wasn't a 3D movie, so I don't know what Paul saw in the theaters.  There were a ton of 3D movies to chose from (Spacehunter, Metalstorm, Treasure of the Four Crowns), but I'm not sure how any of those could be confused with Dreamscape.  Maybe Paul is conflating Jaws 3D scenes with Dreamscape because they both star Dennis Quad?  Was this 3D version of Dreamscape preceded by an animated short of the Bernstein Bears?

As for Jaws 3D, this was played a lot on cable when I was a kid (never saw it in the theater).  I always thought it was cheesy and boring.   But just a few years ago, I bought a 3D blu-ray of the movie and found it extremely entertaining.  The bad composites and weird camera angles work great in 3D.  The 3D actually hides the bad special effects, and in the restored movie, a lot of the beach shots are quite stunning in 3D.  The movie knows it is a B-movie and has some of the most fun, intentionally gratuitous 3D effects you'll find in a movie.  Most of the gags and composite shots (like the shark coming at the glass) look completely dumb in 2D, but in 3D they work.  It's a great popcorn movie to watch with friends just to see who will jump at stuff coming at the screen.  The opening titles alone will make most people duck.  It's a guilty pleasure

I would love to see Jaws 3D in 3D. I saw Friday the 13th part 3 in 3D about 20 years ago at a midnight showing and it really made the movie super fun. It was before 3D got big again making it feel like a novelty and the audience was crazy into it. I know a lot of people say a good movie is a good movie whether it's 3D or not but Friday the 13th in 3D really made me love that movie when, before, I thought it was kind of dumb. I'd assume Jaws 3D would have a similar added fun.

Edit to add:  if you want a mediocre movie that's great in 3D. Watch The Walk if you ever get a chance. The last 20 minutes are truly an experience.

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3 hours ago, theworstbuddhist said:

Fun episode, but honestly the part I enjoyed the most was the discussion at the end about Jason's fanny pack. It was nice to hear just the three of them in studio joking around.

Not to hate on any of the guest stars, but I am always so excited to get a just June, Paul, and Jason ep. They have such amazing chemistry.

 

3 hours ago, theworstbuddhist said:

Does this family have some kind of superpower that enables them to attract great white sharks? And IF SO:

He's like the Jessica Fletcher of Sharks.

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Hey Paul, For whatever it's worth, I'm totally obsessed with Halloween 3 and I wanted to hear what you had to say about its connections with Jaws 3.

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I believe the plum job at Sea World is masturbating the whales for their liquid gold.

So for me the nuttiest thing was the waist-level open pool they put the baby Great White in. That's a pool meant for gently touching starfish and small rays. Realistically eighteen dumbasses a day would put their hands in that water and then sue Sea World into the next millennium.

Also, when we first see the coral thieves they scan the lagoon with their flashlights and happen upon a crab, a snapping turtle, and a large toad just hanging out on the rocks together. Only those three distinct animals who scatter after they're spotted. Those critters were clearly conspiring. What other business would they have to be there together at that very moment?! That's the better movie.

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I was a movie projectionist in the '80s and I showed Jaws 3D. The film was on standard 35mm stock, but each frame was divided horizontally, with the image intended for the left eye on the top and the right-eye view on the bottom. The print came with a bulky, black metal box which fit onto the lens of the projector. This box had mirrors inside which split the picture and superimposed the left and right images and passed each through a piece of polarized glass. The audience would then, of course, wear glasses with similarly polarized lenses, isolating each image to one eye and creating the 3D effect. 

Here's the problem: the lenses on those old, cardboard 3D glasses were REALLY dark. The polarized glass on the 3D projector gimmick was really dark. It was basically like watching a movie through two pairs of sunglasses. Add that to the reduction in resolution from blowing half a film frame up to full-screen along with the darkness of  the underwater scenes and it made for a very murky experience. Universal actually paid to replace the standard white screen in the theater with a silver one to increase the amount of reflected light reaching the audiences' eyes. It didn't help much.

It was interesting watching Jaws 3 in 2D and in full brightness. I think maybe the dimness of the theatrical release may have worked in the movie's favor.

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Posted (edited)

The interiors in this movie are lit in the same way as cheap '70s potboiler TV shows. Don't get me wrong, I'm drawn to that look, but it's pretty lazy for a big budget movie made in '83.

Also, I don't like when they rag on Paul for his childhood asides. He obviously tells the stories because he knows they are funny and/or odd, but then he's made to feel bad about it. He just sounds like he was a kid with an over-active imagination. 

Edited by Crummy Scrimmage
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41 minutes ago, Elektra Boogaloo said:

Is his name Tall or John???

This was in my head all through that exchange:

 

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1 hour ago, MarcoMalvado said:

Here's the problem: the lenses on those old, cardboard 3D glasses were REALLY dark. The polarized glass on the 3D projector gimmick was really dark. It was basically like watching a movie through two pairs of sunglasses. Add that to the reduction in resolution from blowing half a film frame up to full-screen along with the darkness of  the underwater scenes and it made for a very murky experience. Universal actually paid to replace the standard white screen in the theater with a silver one to increase the amount of reflected light reaching the audiences' eyes. It didn't help much.

It was interesting watching Jaws 3 in 2D and in full brightness. I think maybe the dimness of the theatrical release may have worked in the movie's favor.

That's an amazing story. And a little depressing to know that even in the old analog days, 3D films were also projecting too dark. It drives me nuts.

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1 hour ago, MarcoMalvado said:

I was a movie projectionist in the '80s and I showed Jaws 3D. The film was on standard 35mm stock, but each frame was divided horizontally, with the image intended for the left eye on the top and the right-eye view on the bottom. The print came with a bulky, black metal box which fit onto the lens of the projector. This box had mirrors inside which split the picture and superimposed the left and right images and passed each through a piece of polarized glass. The audience would then, of course, wear glasses with similarly polarized lenses, isolating each image to one eye and creating the 3D effect. 

Here's the problem: the lenses on those old, cardboard 3D glasses were REALLY dark. The polarized glass on the 3D projector gimmick was really dark. It was basically like watching a movie through two pairs of sunglasses. Add that to the reduction in resolution from blowing half a film frame up to full-screen along with the darkness of  the underwater scenes and it made for a very murky experience. Universal actually paid to replace the standard white screen in the theater with a silver one to increase the amount of reflected light reaching the audiences' eyes. It didn't help much.

It was interesting watching Jaws 3 in 2D and in full brightness. I think maybe the dimness of the theatrical release may have worked in the movie's favor.

I was a theater employee for 18 years and did a lot of protection work but ly in the early 80s. What kind of foot lamberts were on screen once the rig was on the lens? I want to say Academy standard is currently 7 fL for a 3D projector

I was around when some article (New York Times??) discussed how 3D movies were so dark around 2011 or so. Because this kind of caught on in the public, we had to start checking monthly and it was the biggest waste of time.

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I actually saw this movie in 3-D in the 80's. My older sister, who was stuck baby sitting me, snuck me into to a showing of Jaws 3-D at the crusty old second-run movie theater across the street from our house. She and her high school friends razed me every time I'd cover my eyes during the scary parts of the film (keep in mind, I was 9 years old). From what I can remember, the 3-D effects were indeed 3-D-ish, but not overly impressive. I do remember wearing the 3-D glasses to school the next day like I thought I was the absolute shit, only to be mercilessly made fun of by some older bmx-er/rocker dudes. Man, I've really been suppressing that memory for the last couple of decades...

One of my favorite parts of this film occurs at beginning, after the water skiers tumble out of formation and fall into the water. The boat captain is trying desperately to re-start the boat's engine, which has, for some reason, stalled out. We, the audience, know Baby Jaws is lurking around the swimmers under water, but they do not. The boat captain, however, is reacting like he does know a shark is in the water, because, as he's trying to restart the boat, we see him frantically shifting the gear lever back and forth while repeating the line, "C'mon, baby! C'mon baby!"  Now, I know next to nothing about boats, but I would think turning the key on the ignition repeatedly would be more effective in restarting a boat than shuffling between gears (I could be wrong). This would be like the stalled car scene in Double Indemnity, but instead of turning the key pumping the gas, Walter Neff frantically cycles through gears on the column shifter until the car eventually starts.

Did Dennis Quaid's rigid jet ski riding posture reminded anyone else of GOB riding his Segway scooter on Arrested Development?

I believe the push-over game in the bar is called "Roadhouse Chess." Or, it should be, at least.

Besides narrating their escapades in the most ASMR-ish hushed voices they could muster, why were the two bumbling diver-thieves breaking into Sea World? And why was I rooting for the shark to kill these guys?

Paul mentions that Quaid's character, Mike Brody, has absolutely no compunctions about jumping into the water fully clothed--shoes and all. The best instance of him doing so, however, occurs when his girlfriend, Kathryn, is trying to get out of the water and back on to the boat after getting rag-dolled underwater by Baby Jaws. He could have easily reached down, grabbed her arm and hoisted her onto the boat with him, but instead opts to jump into the water as she's climbing the boat's latter so he could push her up by her ass. This "action" move makes absolutely no sense and actually puts Mike in danger, too.

Another poster commented on Momma Jaws' growling noises, which, to me, sounded like a dog. But did anyone else notice the obviously human-voiced ADR-ed dolphin noises? And how about that flawlessly rendered final celebratory still shot of the dolphins jumping out of the water with Mike and Kathryn lifting their arms in triumph? Still holds up!

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5 minutes ago, Blast Hardcheese said:

why were the two bumbling diver-thieves breaking into Sea World?

I may have only caught this because I watch with subtitles, but they say that they are trying to steal coral from the lagoon. One of them says that there’s a guy willing to pay up to $200 for a decent piece. It’s...pretty insane.

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Seriously?!? Their gear alone (air tanks, wet suits, inflatable raft, etc.) would have set them back way more than any profits netted from this score.

"Florida Man Attempts to Steal $200 Worth of Coral, Eaten by Shark."

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7 hours ago, GammaDev said:

Paul mentioned the early 80s resurgence of 3D in the 80s.  It started with Friday the 13th Part III (IN 3D!).  Paul said the other big 3D movie he remembers seeing was Dreamscape.  But Dreamscape wasn't a 3D movie, so I don't know what Paul saw in the theaters.  There were a ton of 3D movies to chose from (Spacehunter, Metalstorm, Treasure of the Four Crowns), but I'm not sure how any of those could be confused with Dreamscape.  Maybe Paul is conflating Jaws 3D scenes with Dreamscape because they both star Dennis Quad?  Was this 3D version of Dreamscape preceded by an animated short of the Bernstein Bears?

As for Jaws 3D, this was played a lot on cable when I was a kid (never saw it in the theater).  I always thought it was cheesy and boring.   But just a few years ago, I bought a 3D blu-ray of the movie and found it extremely entertaining.  The bad composites and weird camera angles work great in 3D.  The 3D actually hides the bad special effects, and in the restored movie, a lot of the beach shots are quite stunning in 3D.  The movie knows it is a B-movie and has some of the most fun, intentionally gratuitous 3D effects you'll find in a movie.  Most of the gags and composite shots (like the shark coming at the glass) look completely dumb in 2D, but in 3D they work.  It's a great popcorn movie to watch with friends just to see who will jump at stuff coming at the screen.  The opening titles alone will make most people duck.  It's a guilty pleasure

I was gonna mention F13 3 as watching it now it is very clear what areas were going to show off the 3d as the actors made very direct, purposeful movements towards the camera to do something benign like hand a wallet over or juggle, but it was clear they were trying to have fun with it, although the wallet scene apparently took a few dozen attempts to get it right for the camera. Considering the discussion of Avatar, I like many apparently, never understood the appeal of that movie, especially now after it has aged so horribly, but I remember everyone when it came out talking up the 3D of it and to see it in Imax, so for Christmas Day, my family decided to see that three hour piece of regurgitated shit in Imax, in 3D, and it was one of the most underwhelming experiences of my life, and by far the worst part of that day, even more so then my parents trying to set me up with a crazy coworker of theirs during the movie. Now if you ever want good to great 3D, it needs to be either an animated film as it's just accentuating the animation rather than adding depth after the fact to a traditional film, or a horror movie because they know what you're coming to see in flying gore and violence, to where I will say that the 3D in Final Destination 4 and Piranha 3D was vastly superior to Avatar.

Regarding the training the SeaWorld attendants were taking with how they did their greetings and dressed, Disney has been revealed to be way more like this in how their park workers act around guests, as a way to "maintain the magic" of the park. If you were in a costume, you'd have to be able to do the autograph with both hands in case you were holding a kid, and the autograph has to look as close as you can make it from the autograph from a few decades ago so that the parents can recognize it as the autograph that they got as kids. There is also the rule of never acknowledging that there is more than one person dressed as the same character in the park at one time, and that staff have communal longjohns to wear under the costume because it doesn't ride up and show through the costume.

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Oh, also, regarding June’s question about dolphins “raping” humans. I don’t think we can really use the term rape. Dolphins ado have sex for pleasure and they are aggressive and form gangs. (Yeah, that’s right, dolphin gangs—it’s the next West Side Story). But... while I agree that dolphins are little shits that always have their dicks out, I don’t think they understand human notions of consent. 

If they did, that would make a crazy horror movie. Way scarier than Jaws. 

But, still, I never want to go to those “swim with dolphins” events. One of my coworkers showed me a family picture and we were laughing because it’s like a happy couple with a dolphin but the dolphin’s penis is clearly out. 

Animals are just being animals. People are stupid.

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1 hour ago, Elektra Boogaloo said:

Oh, also, regarding June’s question about dolphins “raping” humans. I don’t think we can really use the term rape. Dolphins ado have sex for pleasure and they are aggressive and form gangs. (Yeah, that’s right, dolphin gangs—it’s the next West Side Story). But... while I agree that dolphins are little shits that always have their dicks out, I don’t think they understand human notions of consent. 

If they did, that would make a crazy horror movie. Way scarier than Jaws. 

But, still, I never want to go to those “swim with dolphins” events. One of my coworkers showed me a family picture and we were laughing because it’s like a happy couple with a dolphin but the dolphin’s penis is clearly out. 

Animals are just being animals. People are stupid.

I think the dolphins are just saying that it's okay that their dongs are out when they swim with people because they're cute and we'll accept it, but when I try to do the same when I swim with them then they get all weird. Total double standard.

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