EPISODE 107 — Lake Placid: LIVE!

[starri 116]

The feminine napkin discussion came up when I was on the subway, and I was laughing so hard, I think the majority of the people in the car with me judged me mentally infirm.

[Cameron H. 23786]

Port of Call: New Orleans w/ special guest Werner Herzog? Yes please!

 

I am absolutely game for this, but as long as we are imposing upon Mr. Tompkins valuable time, I would not say "no" to a live episode of The Time Machine (2002) featuring the esteemed H.G. Wells as the guest.

[faye-raye 109]

I'm from the UK and I've never heard it. 'a mental case', yes, 'a looney' 'loon' 'nutter or 'nut case' yes but never 'a mental'

[Quasar Sniffer 4174]

Fuck, FUCK YES to Paul F. Tompkins doing Herzog on this podcast. Please. I have wanted that forever, and the combination of that and Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call New Orleans would be astounding.

 

I really like Cameron H.'s idea of H.G. Wells... as well. Although I would not necessarily restrict it to The Time Machine or even any Wells adaptation since listening to Tompkins as Wells talk about movies and pop culture with dead authors on the Dead Authors Podcast is always hilarious. Any movie the noble Herbert George discusses with Paul, June, and Jason would be great.

 

Sorry, I just love Mr. Tompkins. I even love every ounce of his outright disdain for Lake Placid, which this movie deserves. This film is fucking garbage and I that the Podcasting Gods that PFT is willing to endure the pain of Lake Placid in order to make fun of it and, as a result, give me gigglefits.

[EllenChristine 13]

I had to go look up that one reviewer on Amazon. Here are all her reviews:

 

http://www.amazon.com/gp/pdp/profile/A29USMXOTMPPKX/ref=cm_cr_pr_pdp?ie=UTF8

 

They're all from the same night so I'm guessing she just got blind drunk and went on an Amazon review tear.

 

Also, please make PFT a permanent part of the show.

[jarrycanada 2483]

Port of Call: New Orleans w/ special guest Werner Herzog? Yes please!

 

 

HOLY SHIT! bad lieutenant 2 and Face/Off, am I dreaming? Did I just hear Jason and Paul agree to do these movies.

 

My ears are ringing so that's why I ask. It's taken me 3 hours to listen to this podcast today, had to start and stop it a lot.

[Darbler Cheesegarbler 1110]

The feminine napkin discussion came up when I was on the subway, and I was laughing so hard, I think the majority of the people in the car with me judged me mentally infirm.

 

I wonder if anyone thought "he's a mental".

[jarrycanada 2483]

so the lesson of this movie is David Cassidy music should never be played next to beach water.

 

Did anyone else figure out that Betty White was solely responsible for all of this mayham the second she showed up on screen. I mean a crazy old lady living alone by the docks. At the end of the movie don't you just want to push her in the water.

 

Nick Cage would've played the crocodile whisper/ Helicopter pilot.

 

He could've done a long speech about how we need to protect the crocodile. Something about it being a national treasure.

[Quasar Sniffer 4174]

Oh, but if they ever do this movie...

 

I think we know which time-travelling author has to be a guest...

[JoeLazzerini 2]

 

I wonder if anyone thought "he's a mental".

 

They missed the obvious joke though...People thought the killer animal might have been a bear...Jane Fonda was on her period...Makes sense why they would think its a bear, its because bears can smell the menstruation

[jarrycanada 2483]

Quasar Sniffer, I had forgotten the story line of "the island of dr moreau" but I have given it FIVE STARS*****

[wingo 23]

I am not responisble for this, but I had to post it because I almost died when I read it:

 

[Cameron H. 23786]

A moment in Lake Placid that I found delightfully confounding was when they are on the lake and Gleeson asks Platt something to the effect of, "If there is a crocodile in the lake, why would you want to be underwater?" Which is, honestly, a pretty valid question and one the audience probably should be asking themselves as well. Platt's replies to Gleeson, "Well, they don't see very well underwater..."

 

Now I'm not sure how being underwater with an angry, blind crocodile would really be any better, but that's really neither here nor there, because when Platt goes on to elaborate on why this is a good plan, the director takes the opportunity to pull out on the action so Platt's entire explanation is obscured by the roar of the boat's motor. By the time the director does choose to check back in on our protagonists, Platt is wrapping up and basically says, "...and that's why this is a good idea."

 

That's okay, Lake Placid! We don't really need you to explain any of you bonkers logic to us...

[HeyDumDum 39]

I was at this taping and it fucking ruled. I can die happy now (although I was pretty sad June couldn't make it. HOW WILL I KNOW IF THE CROC WAS WELL COMPENSATED OR NOT).

[jarrycanada 2483]

First show sponsor, cougar wine valley. " Now with easy to open cardboard box, In 2L"

 

That one woman with the bottle to her mouth, sure sells this.

I would clean it up some more but forget it.

[creakslamsit 26]

that was a great ep of talkin' about turtle

[HotSaucerman 2051]

Normally, Jason jerks off to these movies. But this one left him... Lake Flaccid.

[jesshelga 17]

I loved Paul's laughing incredulity that Amazon had more five-star reviews that he anticipated.. because at the height of David E. Kelley's popularity, I saw this in theaters during my college years because I loved Chicago Hope, Ally McBeal, and The Practice soooooooo much and spent a lot of time online (I believe, no joke, on Prodigy message boards) talking to other people about what a genius David E. Kelley was.

 

Eventually, and blessedly, I was deprogrammed, thanks in large part to a dawning realization that--as PFT and Nate pointed out many times, in many wonderful ways--David E Kelley is decidedly unfunny, very unkind to female characters, and has a terrible habit of recycling both wacky, racist olds and aggressive, nonsensical fat jokes. Good news: he and fellow Maine native Stephen King are collaborating on an adaptation of Mr. Mercedes so we're in for more Maine-based horrors in the future! Yay!

 

And thanks for the heads-up that I can rent this at Amazon on the cheap, since I now want to relive the hot heartthrobby Adam Arkin moments, as well as (and I hope you can talk about this in C&O) the tuba-heavy score. It sounded like Sousa took a bunch of 'ludes.

[mavriksc 4]

Water bears are actually some of the toughest forms of life.

although i don't think they could be to blame for biting a person in half

 

Tardigrades can survive in extreme environments. For example, they can withstand temperatures from just above absolute zero to well above the boiling point of water (100°C), pressures about six times greater than those found in the deepest ocean trenches, ionizing radiation at doses hundreds of times higher than the lethal dose for a human, and the vacuum of outer space. They can go without food or water for more than 10 years, drying out to the point where they are 3% or less water, only to rehydrate, forage, and reproduce.^[3][6][7][8] They are not considered extremophilic because they are not adapted to live in these conditions. Their chances of dying increase the longer they are exposed to the extreme environments,^[5] whereas extremophiles are organisms that can thrive in a physically or geochemically extreme condition that would be detrimental to most life on Earth.

[Joe Lerini 7329]

It looks like a weird bag with a blow-up nozzle on it.

[The Burning Gentleman 67]

I just started listening to this one, and even though I expected June to be MIA yet again, it's still a blow. What happens next? PFT is introduced! I know he's making the podcast rounds (slightly more than usual) to promote Spontaneation, but that was still a delightful surprise, considering he was just on the Deep Blue Sea episode.

[SarahBethKeshishian 32]

This no June business is getting real old! I need June's philosophies! However a PFT replacement is as good as it can get.

[wyldride 285]

Recut the movie, but film a new character that is just randomly going about his day, never saying anything. You just randomly cut to him eating lunch, getting a haircut and driving his truck. Final scene: Sinister music as we pan up to his face. He smiles. Reverse angle to see his pov and it's his fresh sign, warning of the danger of giant crocs. Cut back to him turning around, slinging his hammer over his shoulder and walking off jauntily, whistling ala the Andy Griffith show.

[Joven 373]

30 foot long killer crocodiles capable of chucking canoes around like so much confetti would have to be pretty heavy, no? And surely a renowned expert and the worlds premier crocodile fetishist would know that? So whats the deal with that loony toons lasso trap that snags the sheriff?

 

He says its on a counterweight, so instead of cutting the rope and causing the sheriff to fall violently to the ground they just need to gently lower him down, and all it takes is Bill Pullman and Bridget Fonda to defeat it? What would that have even done to the crocodile? Would it have even noticed? Did he set that trap specifically for the sheriff? Or maybe the sheriff is really just THAT fat? (he's really just big boned, and his big bones are filled with dark matter and twinkies.)

 

Speaking of the traps, they sure spent a good portion of the movie hyping them up. That was a thread that surely went somewhere. Hell, even Congo managed to think up that if you set up how badass your heroes defenses are, you could maybe use that as a way to establish how credible a threat they're going against when it turns out they aren't as protected as they think.

[Darbler Cheesegarbler 1110]

Is that the first time they ever had to stop a clip in a live show because a guest got such a big laugh? Nicely done, PFT.

 

I'm sorry but I have a favor to ask of everyone. Can you please go back to the 45:00 mark, listen until 45:05, and tell me if you hear anything in the background? I'm hearing two wet farts and they sound real, so I'm really hoping maybe this can be addressed in the next minisode. Anyone?

 

Also this:

 

 

One last thing: Lake Placid vs Anaconda premieres April 25th on SyFy, as you can see in HypnotizingChickens post above... PLEASE DO AN EPISODE FOR THIS MOVIE. Nicki Minaj is in it! WHAT IS HAPPENING?!