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JulyDiaz

EPISODE 115 — Sharknado 3: Oh Hell No!

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From Los Angeles to New York to Washington D.C. to space! Scott Aukerman returns to join Paul and Jason to discuss the extensive list of celebrity cameos in Sharknado 3: Oh Hell No! They’ll talk about Fin’s running style, President Mark Cuban, the Universal Studios VIP front of the line pass, the return of Nova, and David Hasselhoff in space. Plus, Nova is back baby!

 

San Diego: How Did This Get Made will be LIVE at the House of Blues on Saturday, August 1st! Get tickets now for both shows here: http://concerts.livenation.com/venueartist/82551/2104335?c=LNSM_CT_SanDiego_HowDidThisGetMade_twt_ad_070915

People of the internet: Check out June in Grace and Frankie available on Netflix, all the episodes of NTSF:SD:SUV:: on HULU for free, and ScheeRL on YouTube here:

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First!

Suck it!

 

Okay, now I'm going to listen...

 

(Holy shit, what a waste of a 2000th post!)

 

No way Plan B, that was profound--a post for the ages. Congrats on 2000!

 

e680a8c12733786f24c9413b5bf80236.gif

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I know there is way too much going on in this movie for them to cover everything, but I'm most shocked that Scott never talked about Hasselhoff's name. Scott bemoans the fact that Ian Ziering's character is named Fin and they justify it by saying his name is Finley. They do the exact same shark body part joke with his father, whose name is Gilbert but most people just simply call him Gil. A joke which further gets hammered home upon the birth of his son. Fin says that he wants to name it after his father. April goes "Gilbert" to which Fin curtly corrects "Gil" as if a wink those people that didn't pick up on it during the last 30 minutes when people kept calling his dad that.

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Sharknado yes or Sharknado 4?

 

Also, great pic of Paul rockin' a Zouk suit.

IMG_4553.jpg

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Has Fin's middle name come up in one of the other movies? I didn't notice this until they played the audio for the Presidential Medal of Freedom scene, but his full name is Finley Alan Shepard.

 

For those non-space nerds out there, Alan Shepard was the dude that piloted the lunar lander for the Apollo 14 mission. Here he is standing next to the American flag on the moon:

 

Apollo_14_Shepard.jpg

 

This is by far the most interesting part of this shitty, shitty movie.

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#AprilLives

If they end up doing Rocky vs. Rambo, they need to record it and sell it on iTunes. I would have said to put it up through Black List Table Reads, but when they mentioned Harris's charity, I think selling it would be a better idea.

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I feel like the only person who should get a credit for this movie is the casting director.

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If Scott was wearing white cotton pants, he would be wearing a reverse zouk-suit, and then there would be a reverse-zouk-suit between two zouk-suits. You're welcome for my contribution.

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I'm so excited to listen to this on my train home today. I don't know if they film it a certain way on purpose, or if I'm just a psychic, but I could always tell when there was a cameo, even when I didn't recognize the person. It's like they keep the shots just a beat too long for them to just be establishing a character. Of course with the amount of cameos in this thing, it really pads out the run time. I guess they just really want to make sure you saw who they got, and make sure that 90 minutes gets filled.

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I managed about half of this movie and I kind of wish I'd stuck it out now that I know they went to space. I'm glad they mentioned the daughter's new hair color (and the entirely different actress...) because all the hair stuff confused me so much. The line that really got me was when the daughter meets up with her friend at the roller coaster and her friend says, "You're hair is amazing, super rebellious." Her hair is just brown. I get that it's dyed, but brown hair is still a normal human hair color, and it's not like she has a crazy haircut or anything. I cannot claim to be an expert in rebellion, but an eighteen year old deciding to be a brunette seems like the lamest way to act out ever. Not to mention - what is she acting out against? Her "heroic" parents? Don't worry, I know I'm way overthinking it.

 

Also: how many sharknados does it take before everyone decides to just move inland? The ocean's pretty sweet in non-sharknado times, but is it worth it? I mean, I know there are tornados in the midwest, too, but at least they are basically guaranteed to be shark-free...then again, I spend 18 years living on a fault, so maybe I'm not in the best place to judge.

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I think the ultimate big bad of the series doesn't need to be a shark necessarily, but maybe a man. A man with a hat. A hat that is like a fin. A shark's fin...

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I am always fascinated by the Sharknado films and how they deal with time and place. I was overall really impressed with this movie for their actual somewhat realistic depiction of time and distance this time around.

Based on Fin and April's first cell phone conversation, the presidential medal of freedom ceremony was the previous day and he is calling here somewhere on the drive to Orlando from Washington DC. She is already in the park meaning that this conversation has to take someplace after 8:00AM which is when the park opens. Now, things for Fin take a turn when he gets to Charleston, SC. The driving time from Washington DC to Charleston is approximately 7 hours and 43 minutes. Add some extra time for the chaos that ensued and say 8 hours and 30 minutes or so. Then Fin takes a "supersonic" fighter jet from Charleston. Assuming they are flying at mach 1 which is about 1200 kmph, we next see Fin at Daytona which is about 500km away so it took approximately 24 minutes. Then they crash in Orlando, which is 90 km from Daytona so say as they were crashing it took them 10 minutes due to decreased speed. Then then hop into race cars and drive to Cape Canaveral which is approximately an hour drive away. Adding this all up the time it took Fin to get to Cape Canaveral is 10 to 11 hours if you factor in all the shark fighting and talking. We have no idea exactly what time Fin left DC but if we assume he left sometime the night before or got up at 4am to start driving, we can assume the local time in the shot of the count down clock in Cape Canaveral reading 18:31:20 makes sense.

However this is where things fall off the rails. After that shot of the countdown clock we then see Fin being suited up. This is followed by the Sharknado hitting Cape Canaveral, April and Fin getting into the shuttle, and Nova jumping into a fighter jet to clear a path for them. We cut back to the count down clock and the local time now reads 18:31:24. 4 seconds! All of that took place in the span of 4 seconds! Despite mission controls statements of launch in 5 minutes and 10 minutes they showed a close up of a clock twice and only a matter of 4 seconds had passed! Unless this is some Tarantino inspired shots out of order scenario, the timing makes no sense. Finally at the end of the movies Gil has to get from the Star Wars satellite to the moon. We can safely assume the satellite is somewhere around 37000 km above the earth as that would put it into geostationary orbit. The moon, at it's closest to Earth is about 405,000 km away, making the minimal distance David Hasselhoff would have had to travel to get to the moon around 368,000 km. There is no way he could have survived that let alone get their in time to salute his grandson being born.

 

However all that said, none of it explains the strangest timing problem of them all and that is why the Today Show seems to always be on TV no matter the time of day.

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All my facts and figures are brought to you by "being single" in proud partnership with "being on vacation with nothing to do."

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Has Fin's middle name come up in one of the other movies? I didn't notice this until they played the audio for the Presidential Medal of Freedom scene, but his full name is Finley Alan Shepard.

 

thats a good catch .. to be honest, i pay so little attention to these movies that i only got the Fin Shepard (shepherd) pun about half way thru this one .. no doubt the gang pointed this out in one of the previous eps.

 

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A few corrections/omissions

 

Kim Richards (the Universal tour guide) was a pretty successful child actress back in the day. She was one of the stars of both of the original Escape and Return to Witch Mountain, the whole catalyst for the original Assault on Precinct 13 and she has a ton of credits from the late 60s into the 70s, lots of them Disney.

 

During the Mark Cuban's speech giving Finn the golden chainsaw he credits Finn for "Alerting us to the threat of Sharknados." Did he really alert anyone? It's not like there was a raging sharknado off the cost of LA and he saw it but nobody believed what he saw until it was too late, he has just happened to be a guy who was in the right place at the right time multiple times.

 

Where did they get a space suit for April that has extra room for a pregnant belly?

 

#AprilLives is currently beating #AprilDies by a 2 to 1 margin on Twitter: http://topsy.com/analytics?q1=%23aprildies&q2=%23aprillives&via=Topsy

 

The reason why you guys are not making cameos in these movies is because you are on your way up, everyone in this movie is on a downward trajectory that looks something like a shark falling from outer space.

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Unless Paul, Jason, June, and Scott write the next one, you can put me down as #SharkNAYdo4. But feel free to tweet #SharkYAYdo4 if you disagree.

 

(I gotta say, despite not being on Twitter, I am killing it with the hashtags.)

 

On an unrelated note, I hacked into June's computer and opened her "DON'T LOOK IN HERE/ NOT IMPORTANT STUFF" file, but all I found was this:

 

giphy.gif

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I think we can all agree that the mastermind behind all of these sharks is Jason-motherfucking-Statham.

 

29906170001_4033365224001_video-still-for-video-4033235908001.jpg

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Love the episode, always happy to have new HDTGM!

 

But man oh man, hearing this movie described, I am very happy I chose not to watch it.

 

I even like watching movies like Nothing But Trouble because it's soooooo bizarre and fascinating, but this is such and oddly annoying trendy thing that tries too hard (in my opinion) to be whacky and dumb.

 

But again, having said that...really enjoyed the ep.

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On an unrelated note, I hacked into June's computer and opened her "DON'T LOOK IN HERE/ NOT IMPORTANT STUFF" file, but all I found was this:

 

giphy.gif

 

This explains how she became an expert on street fighting.

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Sharknado yes or Sharknado 4?

 

Also, great pic of Paul rockin' a Zouk suit.

IMG_4553.jpg

 

Zouks looks like he's a drummer for a cool progressive rock band in this picture. I think it's the pose.

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Unless Paul, Jason, June, and Scott write the next one, you can put me down as #SharkNAYdo4. But feel free to tweet #SharkYAYdo4 if you disagree.

 

(I gotta say, despite not being on Twitter, I am killing it with the hashtags.)

 

On an unrelated note, I hacked into June's computer and opened her "DON'T LOOK IN HERE/ NOT IMPORTANT STUFF" file, but all I found was this:

 

giphy.gif

Still not being fought on? A street.

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one of the cameos in the shuttle was the mohawk guy from nasa who got famous after the curiosity landing. i thought he might have had a screengrab or something on his twitter page, he didnt, but when i looked i found this little nugget:

 

2vvjm93.jpg

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