EPISODE 118 - Furious 7: LIVE

[souprman 10477]

because Ludacris tells us so.

Cam are you saying Luda is like the Bible?

[Cameron H. 23786]

Cam are you saying Luda is like the Bible?

 

Ludachrist?

[Joven 373]

Few points/things:

About the second audience question, (why did the Fast crew go after all this stuff when Statham was showing up all the time anyway?)

That WAS Dom's plan, Kurt Russell talked him out of it because it meant that any confrontation with Shaw would have been on Shaw's terms and he could ambush them at will, basically.

 

You guys also asked about Jordana Brewster's actions in the previous movies, if she was a racer or not. And no, she as always a sideline character. She had a little shop/restaurant that was kind of the cover for Dom in the first movie, when Dom went on the run she stayed behind because she was innocent. In Fast 4, she was still staying at home, until the very end where she was driving one of the cars that broke Dom out of the prison bus. When she went on the run with them in Fast 5 she was still basically a support character.

 

Also, am I the only one who legit thought that by the end of the movie Shaw was going to side with the Fast's? Like he kinda had this fascination with them, and there's that one point where he has a sniper rifle on Dom but is just too interested in what he was planning to do to fire. I kinda thought there was going to be some kind of grudging respect thing going on, and they team up to go after the random terrorists.

 

 

Also as far as spin-offs go, how about "Fast & Furious - Ludacris Speed"

[Joven 373]

And now, Fanfic. So I looked, and the king of all fanfics, Hans von Hozel, has not graced Fast and Furious with a story (guess he got too busy what with writing his fanfics for Guess Who, Mr Hollands Opus, Kindergarten Cop, and sure why not, Sputnik)

 

But here are some descriptions of other Fast and Furious Fanfics.

 

Sophia Toretto: "Dom and Letty have been dating for a while now. But did you know that they had a daughter a year after they started dating? Why didn't she grew up with the Toretto's? At the age of two Sophia Toretto was taken away from her parents, and was adopted by a rich couple named Owen Shaw and his wife Claire. What if many years later they're paths crossed again."

 

Not just a School Girl: "Ray is new to Tokyo and from day one she meets trouble. When Han comes into her sights there is a connection but Han does not date school girls. Will he break his own rule for her or will it be too late will she end up trapped with Morimoto?"

 

We Are Young: "Mykie O'Conner is Brian's twin, and older by two minutes, sister. She comes home from exploring abroad to spend time with her brother, only to end up getting sucked into the drama of Echo Park. She meets the Toretto Clan, and it all goes down-hill from there. Especially when she falls, and falls hard, for Jesse."

 

An Eye For An Eye: "He put one Shaw in a coma and dropped a car park on the other, now Hell is coming for him. Elizabeth Shaw is out for Dom's blood, and nothing will stop her - not even Hobbs' fist. Owen is awake, Deckard is free and the streets of LA will never be the same. Dotty. Bria. OShetty. Tamsey. HobbsOC (LukESh). Veghkard. PregLetty. HEA. Completed. Under Construction!"

 

Irresistable: "He was breathing heavily, trying to keep himself from lashing out at the small girl. He wanted nothing more than to strangle the little bitch until she turned blue but that tiny logical part of his brain knew that doing so would only lead to a one-way trip six feet under. So he did the next best thing. He punched Brian." ... ...

 

Baby's First Joyride: "Because in the O'Connor house, firsts aren't limited to steps or words or teeth. The real firsts always have their roots set in cars. Slight Bria. One-shot."

 

Hmm, now I kinda want to write a fanfic for Fast and Furious in the style of Hans von Hozel...

[JeddJong 50]

Kate Beckinsale for the Shaw sister - or if they want to go younger and do a spot of stunt casting, Emma Watson.

To add to Paul's point about this franchise becoming the younger, better version of the Expendables, there is the common denominator of Jason Statham and Furious 7 has Kurt Russell and Tony Jaa, both of whom Sylvester Stallone wanted for the Expendables movies. Kurt Russell turned down the first Expendables movie, saying he was "not into ensemble acting at the moment".

[HeynongEggnoggMan 4]

Solid episode. Looks like everyone's taken care of most of the low- and mid-hanging fruit, but I'll submit my feeble offering.

 

Correction: So, as someone living in Japan I feel it necessary to point out that Han Seoul-Oh is definitely Korean... but I understand the vein of Jason's riff about taking his body from a Japanese family.

 

Omission: On the thread about the masterful, bold "flash forward" move on the part of the scriptwriters for Tokyo Drift, is no one going to mention just how old Sean Boswell (Lucas Black, originally playing a high-school senior) looks in that catch-up-to-current-timeline scene? It was clear he was way too old to play a high schooler originally in 2006, but no amount of make-up seemed to help Benjamin Button away that 8 year gap now...

 

Suggestion: WATCH TOKYO DRIFT! I know Paul said they aren't into the idea of going through the old ones, but it is just. so. HDTGM. It is bonkers. And somehow, no matter how bonkers it was or is, there is just something that is so endearing about it. Honestly, Justin Lin managed a handful of really subtle, beautiful moments in a movie like this. Initial D references abound as well! DOOOO IT!

[Joven 373]

Hmm, now I kinda want to write a fanfic for Fast and Furious in the style of Hans von Hozel...

 

Oops, I did that thing...

---

Fast and the Furious: by Not von Hozel

 

One day Dom was making an angry because he wasn't fast enough.

"Must to be faster than Shaw!" yell Dom as he danubed his car to go faster.

"I cannot faster!" said car.

"But my family need it!" shout Dom, and he shifted the gear on the car again.

"Much fast" The car say, but suddenly the car too fast and danubed a portal in time.

"Oh no" yell Dom "I made a drive to the past!"

Dom drove to his home but his home wasnt there yet, but dinosaurs!

"Dinosaurs to being my family now?" say Dom

But the dinosaurs not liking Dom because he making them into fuel for car.

"You not making me into a fuel" shouts the dinosaurs, and bite him.

"Now we making him into a fuel." and they driving into the future.

But dinosaurs not allowed to drive the car in the future, and they to getting arrested by Hobbs.

"Oh no," say the dinosaurs "only wanted to make a fast, but now am getting put in jail, this is a badly."

And so Hobbs eated them because they kill Dom.

[Darbler Cheesegarbler 1110]

The whole point about the walkie-talkies got me thinking... Would it take away from how cool the movie is if they all had headsets? I feel like they made the conscious decision to keep the walkie-talkies instead of headsets just because of how much cooler it looks when you grip it all sideways and whiteknuckled.

[VinsanityV22 500]

All this episode did was make me question why Adam Scott isn't in action movies.

 

This is such my favorite part of HDTGM lately, maybe ever. The point made about how the person doing these stunts would be losing their shit for the rest of the movie if the characters were anything resembling normal human beings, lol. I could listen to Adam & Jason do this routine for so much of a real movie...

http://vocaroo.com/i/s1BTk9pesr5V

 

WE ARE SAFE!

 

[VinsanityV22 500]

[AndrewGibson 0]

I'm surprised no one brought up the fact that the main villain's name is DECKARD! What the fuck is that about, Deckard isn't a name unless you're Harrison Ford in Blade Runner, and even then it's a surname instead of a first name.

 

Also of note I thought was how hilarious Lucas Black reprising his Sean Boswell role was because he has so obviously aged nine years. I guess it was kind of necessary to in a way prove that Dom had been to Tokyo when he said he was going, but Black's hair's receding for Christ's sake, it was done in such a half-hearted way it's makes it pretty funny.

[Quasar Sniffer 4174]

All this episode did was make me question why Adam Scott isn't in action movies.

 

 

I've been [annoyingly] vocal about this, proclaiming my view that Adam Scott would make THE BEST Dr. Strange. I guess Marvel doesn't listen to weirdos on the Internet.

 

Anyway, about the armored cars and armor-piercing bullets in the mountain chase... Ludacris seeings the Gatling guns popping out of the bus and shouts "those aren't guns those are God damn cannons!" Then the entire team proceeds to get broadsided by sheets of armor-piecing rounds, yet not ONE of these Super Bullets pierces the armor on their vehicles, even Paul Walker's cute little Subaru, which couldn't have more than five pounds of armor attached to it. It's like putting on a bullet proof vest and expecting to stop tank rounds.

 

In the 1970s and 1980s, cars in movies would blow up if they got shot with a .22 handgun in the side mirror. For the past couple decades, it seems like, cars will now stop any and all ammunition for an indefinite period of time. Come on everyone, bullets do not give A FUCK about cars. They go right through that shit. I know the cars in this movie are armored, but I feel like the badassery and high caliber of the bad guy artillery more than compensates.

 

Also, has nobody mentioned that Vin Diesel literally STOMPS REAL HARD, then collapses a building at the end? Is he fucking Bruce Banner? (and by that, I mean is he actually having sex with Bruce Banner and perhaps getting doses of the good doctor's hulked-out semen, therefore giving him just a taste of Hulk-type powers?)

[Sievers 233]

I wish the last season of The League hadn't finished filming already. I think a Rafi/Dirty Randy episode where they battle in cars would be pretty amazing (even though a lot of other fans of The League don't seem to care for those episodes as much as I do).

 

I really just want to see them do the chicken part and ram vehicles into each other.

 

I love the standalone episodes and this would be amazing. The silver lining is that in plugs Paul said all 3 of them are in the final season which surely has to mean we're getting another episode of Nurse Ratched June. Glorious.

[Sievers 233]

All this episode did was make me question why Adam Scott isn't in action movies.

 

Ummm the Furious crew have obviously been saving him for when the series is ready to make it's nautical debut...

 

[whatsupjerks 2]

Missing Man Formation (and combat beach wear)

 

We noticed that the two cars driving away from each other as one of the final shots was probably a reference to the Missing Man Formation used by the Air Force.

 

From Wikipedia: "The missing man formation is an aerial salute performed as part of a flypast of aircraft at a funeral or memorial event, typically in memory of a fallen pilot... the aircraft performing the pull-up, split off, or missing from the formation, is honoring the person (or persons) who has died, and it represents their departure to the heavens."

 

See the formation in action here:

 

Also, it was mentioned in the episode that Dom wears a super classy white tank top to his wedding, but did anyone catch that in the end he wore constructions boots to the beach?

[Joven 373]

 

Omission: On the thread about the masterful, bold "flash forward" move on the part of the scriptwriters for Tokyo Drift, is no one going to mention just how old Sean Boswell (Lucas Black, originally playing a high-school senior) looks in that catch-up-to-current-timeline scene? It was clear he was way too old to play a high schooler originally in 2006, but no amount of make-up seemed to help Benjamin Button away that 8 year gap now...

 

Suggestion: WATCH TOKYO DRIFT! I know Paul said they aren't into the idea of going through the old ones, but it is just. so. HDTGM. It is bonkers. And somehow, no matter how bonkers it was or is, there is just something that is so endearing about it. Honestly, Justin Lin managed a handful of really subtle, beautiful moments in a movie like this. Initial D references abound as well! DOOOO IT!

 

I think they were banking on the fact that not many people give a shit about Tokyo Drift, and probably completely forgot he was supposed to be a highschool student. Also, I would like to voice my disagreement for watching Tokyo Drift, its just boring. It has a few good moments, and Han is good, but overall its a slog, IMO.

 

Also, again on the fanfiction angle, they asked if there was any How Did This Get Made fanfics, not sure, but I guess there is now (again, in the style of Hans von Hozel, because in my mind thats the only fanfic that matters.)

---

How Did This Get Made, by Not von Hozel:

There once was a podcasting of how to creation of a Glimmer Man.

"I know how to making a Glimmer Man" say Jason, but suddenly his beard made a falling off.

"Oh no, my beard made a falling off!" Jason shout a sadly, as he danubed into another June.

Suddenly, all the people in the world to turn into Junes, but only is one Paul.

The Junes try to make a fight in the streets to keep him, but they only knowing how to tornado.

"Much tornado now!" yelled the Junes, as the tornados danubed all the Junes and made a throwing of them into space.

"Yay!" Say each planet in space, as they all get its own June now.

[Smigg 1488]

For those of you wanting a 2 Fast 2 Furious podcast, Sal and Q from Impractical Jokers blatently ripped off HDTGM and have done podcasts on the Fast & Furious movies. They have done 2, 4, 5, 6 and 7 so far, and will do Tokyo Drift later.

 

http://www.whatsayyoupodcast.com/episode-51-2-fast-2-furious/

[FisterRoboto 7499]

Ummmm...you need to either tweet this to @HDTGM/@paulscheer/@MsJuneDiane or post it to their facebook wall. Because this is incredible.

 

 

I'm surprised no one brought up the fact that the main villain's name is DECKARD! What the fuck is that about, Deckard isn't a name unless you're Harrison Ford in Blade Runner, and even then it's a surname instead of a first name.

Stay a while and listen! There's also Deckard Cain from the Diablo series.

 

Also, I would like to voice my disagreement for watching Tokyo Drift, its just boring. It has a few good moments, and Han is good, but overall its a slog, IMO.

I may or may not be in the middle of watching all seven movies over the weekend. I just watched Tokyo Drift, and I have to agree. I find it really tedious to get through. I don't know if it's because they're a bunch of annoying high school kids, if it's because (outside of Han) none of our familia is in it, or what, but it's by far my least favorite of the series.

 

That said, 2 Fast 2 Furious is more fun than I remember. Roman is a lot more tolerable than in the later films, and the finale car/boat chase is pretty great.

 

It does make me wonder, though, what happened to NOS? It was such a big thing in the first two movies, but they never use it in the later ones. Is this because they're less about racing and more just straight action movies? Or is it just not as big of a thing now as it was in the early 2000s?

[Cameron H. 23786]

I appreciate this movie's commitment to the grand tradition of holding characters just off screen so they can make an entrance when it's dramatically appropriate.

 

 

Mr. Nobody: "Okay, here's what's going to happen: I'm going to talk to Toretto and try to convince him to help us. He's not going want to do it, but eventually he'll agree to it after we stroke his ego for a bit, but that's not going to be enough for him. You see, he's going to want his people. So, I'm going to steer the conversation until he says the words, 'Good. But It'll be my way. And my crew.' Once he says this, I'm going to direct his attention to the front of the hanger and BAM! there's his crew! Of course, there's no real strategic reason for doing this, and we could probably achieve the same effect through editing, but...I just kind of want to blow his tiny little mind a little bit."

[FisterRoboto 7499]

Dwayne "the Deus ex Machina" Johnson

Pretty sure you mean "Deus ex Rock-ina.

[EllenM 943]

 

This is such my favorite part of HDTGM lately, maybe ever. The point made about how the person doing these stunts would be losing their shit for the rest of the movie if the characters were anything resembling normal human beings, lol. I could listen to Adam & Jason do this routine for so much of a real movie...

 

I completely agree! Jason and Adam could just say "Guys! Seriously, guys did you see what just happened etc" and I would see it in theatres multiple times. If that were to happen to me, you could not make me stop talking about. I once fell down a flight of stairs and didn't spill my sandwich or drink and I was still talking about it for weeks afterwards.

 

Also the audience questions were all really great. The Streetfighter call back was probably my favourite though

[RyanSz 3140]

Pretty sure you mean "Deus ex Rock-ina.

Dammit I had a half decent picture for that but it's not loading, an attachment will have to do.

 

[Joven 373]

Another thing about the movie I thought was going to come into play, but never did...did anyone else think that Shaw put a tracking device in the cross necklace? Because he knew Dom would always have it with him, and that would explain how he would always just show up? I thought once he gave it to Letty there was going to be a confrontation between those two because until he got there he thought he was tracking Dom. But I guess not.

 

Also, my hope for Shaw-matriarch...what with the way that they need to keep escalating, I'm thinking Dame Maggie Smith with a cybernetic power armor suit.

[DanNicholson 83]

 

Personally I thought that he did that because that car has a rear-engine design... Oh well

 

Running the maths on the car lift.

 

The Lykan Hypersport is a Mid-Rear engine design, which means the bulk of the engine weight is just in front of the rear wheels, which turns this into a 2nd Class Lever (like a wheelbarrow).

 

Based on the curb weight of the car (1380kg which doesn't account for any after market modifications, eg bullet proofing), the positioning of the engine, and the length of the wheel base, the lift weight from the front of the car would be approximately 1100 kgs (2425 pounds),

 

The world record deadlift (using free weights) is currently 463 kgs (1020.74 pounds).

 

If you consider the World's Strongest Man competition where they deadlift cars, They use a special lifting frame which extends the lifting range, have cars which are Front Engine (engine sits in front of the wheels = 1st Class Lever) and they are maxing out at about 340 kgs (750 pounds)

 

Even by conservative calculations, this lift is impossible. Thus proving mathematically that Vin Diesel is slowly transforming into the Hulk.

[DanNicholson 83]

Point of Minor Annoyance (and even less interest)

 

In the Car-Jump-Between-Buildings stunt, when Dom starts pumping on the brakes to stop the car after the first jump, there is a cut away to the outside of the car which clearly has the sound effect of the car accelerating and changing gears.

 

Cut back into the car and Dom is still stomping on the brakes (in his shiny black, tuxedo suitable, combat boots) before he declares that they have no brakes.

 

It's the car equivalent of the magical movie motorbike riders that can change gears without moving their hands.

 

Possibly just poor editing, but FFS this is supposed to be a movie about cars (and family)(and rampant homo eroticism), surely they could get something like stupid sound effects right?