EPISODE 108 — The We Don't Need Hayes Show with "Jeff Dunham"

[lizzy 1946]

My family insists on calling me Lizzy even though I insist that they call me eLIZamuffins. I am kind of like Hayes in that no one respects me and things are better when I am not around only actually I have a really kind heart and you are gonna miss me when I am gone!

My family insists on calling me Lizzy only some of them spell it Lizzie (incorrect) and also when I was a kid my dad got hella mad at my friend for calling me Lizzy? Anyway I think things are better when you are around (all of you!) and I hope you never leave so I don't have to miss you

[Silvrwoman 4998]

Drake the type of (fellow) to wipe the bathroom sink down even though he just went in there to check on his friend cause dude's been in there a while and Drake knows he's been going through an emotionally difficult time lately

[nohorseman 5423]

Here are a few that I happened to think of:

 

Drake the type of (fellow) to own a home with wheels and several cars without.

Drake the type of (fellow) to mow his grass and find a car.

Drake the type of (fellow) to have the blue book value of his truck depend on how much gas is in the tank.

Drake the type of (fellow) to get too drunk to fish.

[AshleyChupp 3958]

Drake the type of (fellow) to tell you to just call your best friend and tell her you love her and you're sorry cause life is just too short to spend it not speaking to your loved ones.

[SteveH 11126]

What's the diff between a guy who plays with little wooden men and a guy who gives little men wood (and also can't hear)?

 

Ones Jeff Dunham and ones deaf Jon Hamm. Nailed it.

 

Bonus joke:

What do you get when you cross the founder of a famous Gentlemans magazine and an actor who starred in a show about a biker gang?

 

Hef Hunnam.

[Danny Boy Wizard 1342]

drake the type of (fellow) who raps

drake the type of (fellow) who was on degrassi

drake the type of (fellow) who was born October 24, 1986

 

i had to use wikipedia. i don't know drake as well as you all.

[seeley 836]

Drake the type of (fellow) who is so dumb this one time he went to see an R-rated movie -- but it was one of those Rs for, like, adult situations or sex, maybe... it wasn't particularly violent; 'sides, most of those so-called horror movies these days are rated PG-13, right? Anyway I think it was actually Drinking Buddies, which is weird because I remember that mostly being a VOD thing -- and it said Under 17 not admitted, so he went home to find 16 friends to go back to the theater to see the movie with him.

[seeley 836]

Also, what's the difference between Jeff Dunham and Chef, Jon Hamm? One is a guy who puts his arms up puppets and makes millions of dollars, and the other is the star of 2014's Million Dollar Arm, along with another movie that came out that very same year.

[greggy 15909]

drake that type of (fellow) to sit in his seat pretending to read the credits so he doesnt have to jockey for position on who leaves the theater first

[Lord Shitqueef 1609]

 

Edit: how do I post a video? also, drake is garbage

[thejjar 5031]

Drake the type of fellow to use the word fellow to not offend their forum friends.

 

 

PS we're those type of fellows

 

 

 

Edit: also congrats on the proposal ms Muffins. I'm the type of fellow to say get that prenup girl

[Joe Lerini 7329]

drake that type of (fellow) to sit in his seat pretending to read the credits so he doesnt have to jockey for position on who leaves the theater first

drake the type of (fellow) to sit in his seat pretending to read the credits, but he's really just waiting to see Samuel L. Jackson invite the main character into the Avengers

[Just Add Pepper 2026]

I don't have any good Drake jokes, but I do have this video for everyone to enjoy.

 

[souprman 10477]

drake the type of (fellow) who don't fuck with default settings.

 

edit>audio engineers will get it.

[AshleyChupp 3958]

A girl I work with got on buzzfeed for dressing up as Drake for Halloween.

 

I've never even COMMENTED on buzzfeed smh. What am I doing with my life???

 

Edit: expert journalism in action

[Joe Lerini 7329]

.

[nohorseman 5423]

that article seriously made me do a double take

[RanRan 3242]

Yeah man, well, a girl I went to college with got on Buzzfeed for being very accomplished and good at her job and successfully obtaining a position in one of the arms of the company that deals with more serious news

 

way 2 go Caroline

[thejjar 5031]

I knew a girl who got on barstoolsports once. It's a different kind of accomplishment. Congrats to your friend RanRan, I liked that piece on "15 Pitch Perfect gifs that explain Greece's recession". Poignant stuff

[Silly Dingdong Boy 88]

yeah i mean buzzfeed started off as a bunch of clickable bullshit and they definitely still have that, but they do legit journalism and some great film & tv writing now too. for instance, this piece on the end of THE JINX blew me away

http://www.buzzfeed.com/annehelenpetersen/how-did-the-jinx-narratively-manipulate-its-viewers?utm_term=.mx5BNrjLX#.naYMjk4AO

[Blink 1844]

Who knew that money could buy talent

[Spunky Foonerism 8561]

I thought of a new one.

 

"I used to date the Lord of the Dance," Michael flatly exclaimed.

[devscoots 2561]

(fellow) is how white podcast listeners say the n word. Good to know. Good to know.

 

 

EDIT: I would like recognition for how brave I am for saying this. Very brave.

[skizelo 2536]

I thought of a new one.

 

"I used to date the Lord of the Dance," Michael flatly exclaimed.

 

Congratulations.

[Larry Birdemic 588]

I'm the type of fellow who didn't realize that (fellow) was a synonym in re: to Drake.

I'm quite a white fellow.