Episode 197 - Beastly: LIVE!

[gigi-tastic 2322]

4 hours ago, taylorannephoto said:

I'm gonna have to agree with June that The Beast from 1992 did have more attractive qualities than when he became human. My friend and I make a joke all the time how ugly that cartoon human version is and then once upon a time we found this mini comic on Deviant Art and I have it permanently saved lol.

There's are two really great books I can recommend where the Beast ends up deciding to stay a Beast at the end. The first is Rose Daughter by Robin McKinley (actually her second time rewriting Beauty and the Beast. Beauty was the first and is also good) and the second is from one of my favorite author's T . Kingfisher Bryony and Roses. She says that the former book was an inspiration for hers. All her stuff is great and if you like fairy tale or folklore based fiction check out her work. 

[gigi-tastic 2322]

Has anyone read the original version of Beauty and the Beast by Gabrielle-Suzanne de Villeneuve? It was published in 1740 and is apparently the oldest know modern version of the tale. It's like an actual novel I guess, it's been on my list of things to read for forever. I guess after she died another woman Jeanne-Marie Leprince de Beaumont pretty much stole it,  and rewrote it to help teach English girls morals.  Which might be where we get some of the stuff we have in it now because I knew the OG was weird and involved the Beasts mom going away to war and him turning down the fairy's  sexual advances (I thought she showed up like a creep on his doorstep like in the movie) but everything else was a surprise. From Gabrielle's Wikipedia: 

"the Beast, a prince, lost his father at a young age. His mother had to wage war to defend his kingdom, and left him in the care of a rather evil fairy. This fairy attempted to seduce him as the prince became an adult. When he refused, she transformed him into the beast until someone would agree to marry him without knowing his past or that he was intelligent. In a neighboring kingdom, Beauty is the daughter of a king and a different fairy. Beauty's mother broke the laws of fairy society by falling in love with a human, so she was sentenced to remain in the fairy land and Beauty was sentenced to marry a hideous beast when she grew up. After Beauty's mother disappeared from earth, the evil fairy unsuccessfully attempted to take Beauty's life and marry her father. Beauty's aunt, another good fairy, intervened and changed Beauty's place with the dead daughter of a merchant for Beauty's protection, then placed the Beast in a magically hidden castle until Beauty grew up."

First off I'm on the Beast's side no means no asshole! Secondly that's some Adore level shit trying to bang the kid you raised.  Why does Beauty have to be punished for having a mortal father? Speaking of did he know his (wife? Baby mama?) was Fey and that she locked away in punishment for loving him? Or does he think she up and abandoned him ?cuz that's got to suck losing your wife then suddenly finding who you think is your kid dead (I assume that he doesn't know the aunt's plan). 

[gigi-tastic 2322]

8 hours ago, grudlian. said:

I think one of the reasons Beauty And The Beast stories work so well is we never see the beast before his transformation. We just hear, from the beast himself, that he was cursed by a witch. Since we only ever see the better version of him, we assume the witch was evil. But not here. The witch was in the right and he was straight up awful. He deserved his curse. While the movie doesn't work for a lot of reasons, it's broken from the very beginning due to changing the story structure.

Also, I understand why June missed Vanessa Hudgens dad murdering his drug dealer's brother. I had to rewind that scene three times since we only hear a gun shot off screen. 

Actually I've always seem it as the witch/ fairy being... Fey and the old school rules of not missing with or offending the fey because they Will Fuck Your Shit Up. Not because they are evil per say just very touchy. Back then guest rights and civility/  courtesy were VERY important and you didn't refuse someone hospitality. Especially if you were a royal that was kind of your job. So I've always found the witch/fairy justified in most versions (ESPECIALLY this one) at least from her point of view.  The Fey are supposed to be rash outlandish people. It would make perfect sense for her to do that. Honestly this dude got off easy.

[Cameron H. 23786]

On 9/14/2018 at 3:52 PM, Bingo Boy said:

Had a blast going to this show in Brooklyn, my first HDTGM live experience.

Wouldn't it make way more sense to have Vanessa Hudgens' character HATE the beastly guy in the beginning when he was a handsome jerk, only to fall in love with him while he's Mr. Beastly?  That way there is some progression for both characters by the end. Instead she's just in love with him the whole time, even when he was an asshole. 

The big dramatic reveal ending from her perspective: Oh, this random beastly guy I've fallen in love with is actually the guy i was already in love with in the first place? Cool.

Yes! There's a moment where she confesses her feelings for Kyle to "Hunter" and he seems to try and encourage her not to feel that way. As I was watching. I was like, "What are you doing?" She obviously likes you as a person, and she's already attracted to Kyle. If you just explain to her, "Yeah, I'm him. Here's what happened..." who knows what might happen? It might actually expedite an "I love you" from her and end the curse quicker! I mean, that's the goal, isn't it? Why would you encourage her to hate Kyle? You're the same fucking person, dipshit! When the curse is broken, that's who she's going to end up with, not "Hunter."

Honestly, that scene drove me crazy because as she's telling him all of this she's basically like, "It's funny, but you kind of remind me of him. Weird. Anyway, he mysteriously disappeared right around the time you showed up in my life..." 

[WatchOutForSnakes 807]

15 minutes ago, CameronH said:

Yes! There's a moment where she confesses her feelings for Kyle to "Hunter" and he seems to try and encourage her not to feel that way. As I was watching I was like, "What are you doing?" She obviously likes you as a person, and she's already attracted to Kyle. If you just explain to her, "Yeah, I'm him. Here's what happened..." who knows what might happen? It might actually expedite an "I love you" from her and end the curse quicker! I mean, that's the goal, isn't ? Why would you encourage her to hate Kyle? You're the same fucking person, dipshit! When the curse is broken, that's who she's going to end up with, not "Hunter."

Honestly, that scene drove me crazy because as she's telling him all of this she's basically like, "It's funny, but you kind of remind me of him. Weird. Anyway, he mysteriously disappeared right around the time you showed up in my life..." 

Speaking of trying to end the curse faster, why does he not return her calls after she read the letter? "I didn't think you'd love me?" What is going ON here? She's calling. You answer. Problem solved! 

[tomspanks 9039]

4 hours ago, Al1 said:

The question of “how did this get made?” May, after so many episodes become less pertinent. It can be explained away by  over ambitious passion projects or poor industry descisions. But this film is rotten to the core. This film cannot of been about making money. My hope is it’s   a drastic conceptual art piece meant to insult the very notion that money can be spent wisely.  It’s messages,  Arabic eyebrows and execution; especially pointing to  the dialogue  are an insult to us all. Truely this movie above all others I’ve watched through the podcast needs an answer to how did this get made? I need to understand how a movie can  be made that’s so drastic, as to make me feel like a fundamental sickness has embedded itself our society. How I met your mother guy was ok though.

...Five stars.

[tomspanks 9039]

In the scene where we first meet Kyle's father, Kyle has to send a text to him to share the news about the school election:

Monday, May 17.  Then presumably the next day, Kyle receives a text that the "witch is mad":

But now it's Tuesday, April 27, about 3 weeks in the past.  

It's a funny goof, but I find it more interesting that the school would hold elections at the end of the school year.  I've never seen that before.

[AlmostAGhost 2718]

that makes me feel like there some staff on this movie who were consciously sabotaging it from the inside

[grudlian. 4725]

Is this woman on the far right side supposed to be in a Belle costume? I thought it might be Dorothy from Wizard Of Oz because of the red shoes but this has to be intentional right?

[Elektra Boogaloo 3371]

Confession. I did not watch this movie. I read the book so I don't feel like I need to suffer twice. Do they really go to the Carroll Gardens zoo in the movie? That makes no sense. Carroll Garden is really small and there is a zoo in Prospect Park. You'd just have to go through one neighborhood (Park Slope) and the park itself and you're there. Google maps says it's 2.5 miles driving.

 

ETA: I thik that woman is dressed as Dorothy from the WIZARD OF OZ not Belle.

[tomspanks 9039]

7 minutes ago, grudlian. said:

Is this woman on the far right side supposed to be in a Belle costume? I thought it might be Dorothy from Wizard Of Oz because of the red shoes but this has to be intentional right?

 

No, I'm pretty sure that's a Dorothy.  

[tomspanks 9039]

7 minutes ago, Elektra Boogaloo said:

Confession. I did not watch this movie. I read the book so I don't feel like I need to suffer twice. Do they really go to the Carroll Gardens zoo in the movie? That makes no sense. Carroll Garden is really small and there is a zoo in Prospect Park. You'd just have to go through one neighborhood (Park Slope) and the park itself and you're there. Google maps says it's 2.5 miles driving.

 

ETA: I thik that woman is dressed as Dorothy from the WIZARD OF OZ not Belle.

Not only that, they spell it CARROL Gardens 

[BriObsessedWithTheBest 25]

The book Beastly, by Alex Flinn, has actually been one of my favorites since I read it in high school. I've read it multiple times, not because it's the greatest ever, but because--as June said in the show-- it's just a fun book. I've also seen the movie before, when it first came out and was disappointed because of the NUMEROUS IMPORTANT CHANGES.

First of all, Kyle in the book is turned into a literal beast much like in previous adaptations. He has animalistic features and is covered in fur that instantly grows back if he tries to get rid it. He's literally a monster, and he pretty much spirals into a severe depression. I'm assuming they changed his beastly appearance for the movie to make the film seem less dark or campy and to pander to the Twilight audience. (This was, after all, a pre Shape of Water world.)

Also names actually are important in the novel, and the movie even changed his name for no reason. At one point in the novel, Kyle finds out his name means "handsome" and decides to change it to Adrian, which means "dark one." But in the movie they made his name Hunter because . . . Lindy would recognize the name Kyle? Hunter just means "hunter," so did they make that his name because he stalks her? Because it sounds cooler than Adrian?

Magic is much more prevalent in the book. Kendra gives Kyle a magic mirror that--much like in the Disney version--allows him to see to the outside world just by saying a person or place's name. Kyle eventually uses this mirror to watch Lindy and learn about her interests once she is set to live with him. And yes, it's voyeuristic, but that's much better than physically stalking. Kendra is an immortal witch and can make herself appear however she wants, and in the novel we find out that she's actually the housekeeper in disguise. And the keyword in Kendra's curse was "beastly," a word that is never uttered once in the film despite the title. But honestly if something doesn't make sense in the story, just chalk it up to magic.

The curse lasted two years in the book, instead of one. He started his tutoring with Will long before Lindy got there, and they would read about different literary monsters. Kyle and Lindy studied Shakespearean sonnets about beauty on their first day of class so I have no idea why they would read that "Having a Coke with You" poem. And the deleted ending is more in line with what happens in the book, which is why I think it's a better ending.

I think the only thing the movie got 100% right was NPH as the tutor.

[Cam Bert 8145]

1 hour ago, tomspanks said:

In the scene where we first meet Kyle's father, Kyle has to sent a text to him to share the news about the school election:

Monday, May 17.  Then presumably the next day, Kyle receives a text that the "witch is mad":

But now it's Tuesday, April 27, about 3 weeks in the past.  

It's a funny goof, but I find it more interesting that the school would hold elections at the end of the school year.  I've never seen that before.

What is even funnier to me is for such a popular and cool guy like Kyle he seems to only be talking to his friend Trey. Either they text a lot or he really doesn't have friends because he's an asshole.

[Blast Hardcheese 636]

Okay, okay okay...

1. What's ultimately in it for Kendra/The Witch for her to do what she does in this movie? Yes, Kyle is a shallow and vociferous douche bag, but how would his winning the presidency of the green ...initiative (?) really effect her life? He gives his speech to the school, she vandalizes his many, many campaign posters. Okay, tit for tat. When he tries to humiliate her at the school dance (taking place at a trendy New York bar for no reason), she doesn't seem particularly bothered by it, like, at all. Later, when "Hunter" is trying to find Kendra to reverse the spell, he tracks her down at the high school's Halloween block party, where she's just hanging out and dancing around like it ain't no thing. For a supposed outcast, she doesn't seem to be uncomfortable zipping in and out of the school's socials functions. Her character comes across as the being who knows the full extent of her supernatural powers and, because of that knowledge, has no absolutely fucks to give: casting this spell/curse on Kyle and behaving the petty manner she does seems like a complete waste of her time and powers. Had she been portrayed as being bullied, harassed or maligned for being different, that would give her motive and the movie stakes. But, she's lashing-out at one guy in her school (who is, admittedly a prick, but not really a serious threat to her at all) and using her considerable powers to teach him (and, as implied at the end of the film, his father) a lesson makes her unsympathetic: she has nothing to gain and no real wrongs to reverse. I'd argue that Kendra acting upon her petty whims makes her the bully/antagonist of the film, not Kyle.

2. On that note: to lift the curse, Kyle, a thoughtless asshole who puts more stock into one's physical appearance than the content of their character, has to convince someone to love him in spite of the marring of tattoos, open (yet bloodless) wounds, nose boils, and solder scoring to lift the curse Kendra put on him (seriously, she should have instead just turn Kyle into a middle-aged schlub, transported him to L.A. and wish him luck with). Why condemn some hapless innocent into this game or ridicule and retribution? If Kendra's plan is to make petty jerks learn to be better people, why not go after bigger game (cough *Trump* cough) and do so without manipulating the emotions of an additional person who's oblivious to what's actually going on and can potentially get their heart broken? Kendra is a thoughtless asshole.

3. Rather than setting him up at Brooklyn brownstone, why doesn't Kyle's father just hide the now-deformed son he's ashamed of at the much more secluded cabin-mansion upstate?

4. Lindy's reaction to Kyle/Hunter at the end of this film should have been, "What. The. FUCK, Kyle?!? You're Hunter? You blackmailed my father into sending me to live with you?? And magic is real??? I can't fuckin' process any of this shit right now!" Which is then immediately followed by her running away from Kyle in any direction as fast as she can.

5. Frank O'Hara's "Sharing A Coke with You" may be a celebrated and beloved poem (right?), but does its inclusion in this film feel like blatant product placement for Coca-Cola to anyone else?

[RyanSz 3140]

5 hours ago, sycasey 2.0 said:

This movie had maybe the most literal song choices I've ever heard.

I about lost my mind when the opening song is just the word "vanity" over and over as he works out and then it cuts to building-sized ads featuring statuesque models.

1 hour ago, BriObsessedWithTheBest said:

The book Beastly, by Alex Flinn, has actually been one of my favorites since I read it in high school. I've read it multiple times, not because it's the greatest ever, but because--as June said in the show-- it's just a fun book. I've also seen the movie before, when it first came out and was disappointed because of the NUMEROUS IMPORTANT CHANGES.

First of all, Kyle in the book is turned into a literal beast much like in previous adaptations. He has animalistic features and is covered in fur that instantly grows back if he tries to get rid it. He's literally a monster, and he pretty much spirals into a severe depression. I'm assuming they changed his beastly appearance for the movie to make the film seem less dark or campy and to pander to the Twilight audience. (This was, after all, a pre Shape of Water world.)

Also names actually are important in the novel, and the movie even changed his name for no reason. At one point in the novel, Kyle finds out his name means "handsome" and decides to change it to Adrian, which means "dark one." But in the movie they made his name Hunter because . . . Lindy would recognize the name Kyle? Hunter just means "hunter," so did they make that his name because he stalks her? Because it sounds cooler than Adrian?

Magic is much more prevalent in the book. Kendra gives Kyle a magic mirror that--much like in the Disney version--allows him to see to the outside world just by saying a person or place's name. Kyle eventually uses this mirror to watch Lindy and learn about her interests once she is set to live with him. And yes, it's voyeuristic, but that's much better than physically stalking. Kendra is an immortal witch and can make herself appear however she wants, and in the novel we find out that she's actually the housekeeper in disguise. And the keyword in Kendra's curse was "beastly," a word that is never uttered once in the film despite the title. But honestly if something doesn't make sense in the story, just chalk it up to magic.

The curse lasted two years in the book, instead of one. He started his tutoring with Will long before Lindy got there, and they would read about different literary monsters. Kyle and Lindy studied Shakespearean sonnets about beauty on their first day of class so I have no idea why they would read that "Having a Coke with You" poem. And the deleted ending is more in line with what happens in the book, which is why I think it's a better ending.

I think the only thing the movie got 100% right was NPH as the tutor.

Let's not forget that in the book it's revealed that the housekeeper was actually Kendra in disguise the whole time, basically watching over Kyle to see if he was truly changing his ways. And the only reason that the book takes over two years is because Kendra saw him take a picture with Lindy at the dance and felt that was enough to warrant him getting a bigger chance at redemption. Also was Kendra just wearing wigs everywhere? In one scene she has the big blonde up-do with streaks in it, then it's a short bob that is jet black, and then what is meant to be the very next day she's back to long, blonde, and wavy.

[Cam Bert 8145]

One of the things that really annoyed me about this movie and is was solidified in the alternate ending played was that Kyle really doesn't ever do anything that isn't for him. The whole point of this curse was to change him into a better person and for him to start thinking of others than just himself. He does this exactly once, when he asks for the Olson twin to cure NPH's sight and get green cards for Zola's kids. Yet when it comes to Lindy everything is about his want for her to fall in love with him. He's already stalking and obsessed with her when he steps in with her father to kidnap her. After he kidnaps her he starts showering her with gifts to make her like him. He builds a greenhouse not because she likes plants but again so she'll like him. It is not "Oh she likes this, I'll do it for her" rather it is "I'll make this so she thinks I'm into that too and she'll like me." Then after the whole letter debacle he stops talking to her flat out without a thought or care about her thoughts, feelings and wants. He unfairly lets her deal with that letter and the baggage that comes with it while dealing with her father dying all alone because "she called me friend and now my curse won't be lifted." If he had really changed he wouldn't have cared about the curse being lifted or not. He should have by that point learnt his lesson. At least in the alternated ending played he sacrifices himself for her, for once putting her ahead of himself and his wants. Yet it the version we get he decides he'll let her go on a trip she's been planning and saving for years for as an act of self sacrifice but only after it was too late to lift the curse anyway. I guarantee within a week of getting his looks back he's back to being a self obsessed asshole.

[Blast Hardcheese 636]

2 minutes ago, Cam Bert said:

One of the things that really annoyed me about this movie and is was solidified in the alternate ending played was that Kyle really doesn't ever do anything that isn't for him. The whole point of this curse was to change him into a better person and for him to start thinking of others than just himself. He does this exactly once, when he asks for the Olson twin to cure NPH's sight and get green cards for Zola's kids. Yet when it comes to Lindy everything is about his want for her to fall in love with him. He's already stalking and obsessed with her when he steps in with her father to kidnap her. After he kidnaps her he starts showering her with gifts to make her like him. He builds a greenhouse not because she likes plants but again so she'll like him. It is not "Oh she likes this, I'll do it for her" rather it is "I'll make this so she thinks I'm into that too and she'll like me." Then after the whole letter debacle he stops talking to her flat out without a thought or care about her thoughts, feelings and wants. He unfairly lets her deal with that letter and the baggage that comes with it while dealing with her father dying all alone because "she called me friend and now my curse won't be lifted." If he had really changed he wouldn't have cared about the curse being lifted or not. He should have by that point learnt his lesson. At least in the alternated ending played he sacrifices himself for her, for once putting her ahead of himself and his wants. Yet it the version we get he decides he'll let her go on a trip she's been planning and saving for years for as an act of self sacrifice but only after it was too late to lift the curse anyway. I guarantee within a week of getting his looks back he's back to being a self obsessed asshole.

Cam, you are absolutely spot on. By the end of the film, Kyle hasn't learned to be a more thoughtful person but rather someone who can mimic human emotions in a convincing way.

The scene with NPH getting his sight back would have been much better if he looked down at his outfit and said, "What the fuck have I been wearing all this time?"

[BriObsessedWithTheBest 25]

7 minutes ago, RyanSz said:

I about lost my mind when the opening song is just the word "vanity" over and over as he works out and then it cuts to building-sized ads featuring statuesque models.

Let's not forget that in the book it's revealed that the housekeeper was actually Kendra in disguise the whole time, basically watching over Kyle to see if he was truly changing his ways. And the only reason that the book takes over two years is because Kendra saw him take a picture with Lindy at the dance and felt that was enough to warrant him getting a bigger chance at redemption.

Kendra gave him a second chance/more time because he gave the rose to Lindy, he did something kind and innocuous that made someone else genuinely happy (although it was something that didn't really matter to him). Basically, he was nice to someone less fortunate.

On that note though, Lindy was a scholarship student. In the book, she is pulled from going to the private school in order to go live with Kyle/Adrian/Hunter, and then after he frees her she has to slum it up at a bad public school in her district. So by that logic, how on earth in the movie is Lindy allowed back at the private school? She's missed enough school that she definitely would've lost her scholarship and wouldn't be able to go to Macchu Picchu. 

Why does it have to be Macchu Picchu? Why can't she be striving to attend Colombia or something?

[Cameron H. 23786]

25 minutes ago, Cam Bert said:

One of the things that really annoyed me about this movie and is was solidified in the alternate ending played was that Kyle really doesn't ever do anything that isn't for him. The whole point of this curse was to change him into a better person and for him to start thinking of others than just himself. He does this exactly once, when he asks for the Olson twin to cure NPH's sight and get green cards for Zola's kids. Yet when it comes to Lindy everything is about his want for her to fall in love with him. He's already stalking and obsessed with her when he steps in with her father to kidnap her. After he kidnaps her he starts showering her with gifts to make her like him. He builds a greenhouse not because she likes plants but again so she'll like him. It is not "Oh she likes this, I'll do it for her" rather it is "I'll make this so she thinks I'm into that too and she'll like me." Then after the whole letter debacle he stops talking to her flat out without a thought or care about her thoughts, feelings and wants. He unfairly lets her deal with that letter and the baggage that comes with it while dealing with her father dying all alone because "she called me friend and now my curse won't be lifted." If he had really changed he wouldn't have cared about the curse being lifted or not. He should have by that point learnt his lesson. At least in the alternated ending played he sacrifices himself for her, for once putting her ahead of himself and his wants. Yet it the version we get he decides he'll let her go on a trip she's been planning and saving for years for as an act of self sacrifice but only after it was too late to lift the curse anyway. I guarantee within a week of getting his looks back he's back to being a self obsessed asshole.

Absolutely! The central issue isn’t really about being a better person, it’s about having a girlfriend and (I guess) being a somewhat adequate boyfriend. That’s it. Those are the terms of Kendra’s curse. She doesn’t really give a shit about Zola or Will. Which leads me to another question: is Kendra even a good person/witch?

She’s supposedly teaching him a lesson about being less of an asshole, but is she really any better? It would be one thing if she was a good person with a good heart that he was just treating like shit because of the way she looks, but she seem to be just as much of a misanthrope as he is. She’s not exactly shown making people happy or anything. She’s always just off by herself in a corner. Just because she’s less popular and dresses less trendy, I’m supposed to buy that that somehow makes her...what? Better? 

[tomspanks 9039]

32 minutes ago, RyanSz said:

Also was Kendra just wearing wigs everywhere? In one scene she has the big blonde up-do with streaks in it, then it's a short bob that is jet black, and then what is meant to be the very next day she's back to long, blonde, and wavy.

[Cam Bert 8145]

13 minutes ago, CameronH said:

Absolutely! The central issue isn’t really about being a better person, it’s about having a girlfriend and (I guess) being a somewhat adequate boyfriend. That’s it. Those are the terms of Kendra’s curse. She doesn’t really give a shit about Zola or Will. Which leads me to another question: is Kendra even a good person/witch?

She’s supposedly teaching him a lesson about being less of an asshole, but is she really any better? It would be one thing if she was a good person with a good heart that he was treating like shit, but she seem to be just as much of a misanthrope as he is. She’s not exactly shown making people happy or anything. She’s always just off by herself. Just because she’s less popular and dresses less trendy I’m supposed to buy that that makes her...what? Better? 

Exactly! She's also running for president right? Why not have her giving a speech at the beginning before his. Have it be about things that will be better for the environment or whatever the position is and have the people react positive to her. Then Kyle comes up and makes fun of her and gets people to turn against her because she's ugly and he's not. Boom, that simple. Sadly, a lot of the reason I don't think this is done is they were too afraid to have people actually dislike Kyle too much. 

[grudlian. 4725]

5 minutes ago, Blast Hardcheese said:

he scene with NPH getting his sight back would have been much better if he looked down at his outfit and said, "What the fuck have I been wearing all this time?"

This scene is weird because NPH says earlier in the movie "miracle only". What miracle gave him his sight back? Hunter and Vanessa Hudgens kissing?

[tomspanks 9039]

1 minute ago, grudlian. said:

This scene is weird because NPH says earlier in the movie "miracle only". What miracle gave him his sight back? Hunter and Vanessa Hudgens kissing?

[gigi-tastic 2322]

1 hour ago, Blast Hardcheese said:

Okay, okay okay...

1. What's ultimately in it for Kendra/The Witch for her to do what she does in this movie? Yes, Kyle is a shallow and vociferous douche bag, but how would his winning the presidency of the green ...initiative (?) really effect her life? He gives his speech to the school, she vandalizes his many, many campaign posters. Okay, tit for tat. When he tries to humiliate her at the school dance (taking place at a trendy New York bar for no reason), she doesn't seem particularly bothered by it, like, at all. Later, when "Hunter" is trying to find Kendra to reverse the spell, he tracks her down at the high school's Halloween block party, where she's just hanging out and dancing around like it ain't no thing. For a supposed outcast, she doesn't seem to be uncomfortable zipping in and out of the school's socials functions. Her character comes across as the being who knows the full extent of her supernatural powers and, because of that knowledge, has no absolutely fucks to give: casting this spell/curse on Kyle and behaving the petty manner she does seems like a complete waste of her time and powers. Had she been portrayed as being bullied, harassed or maligned for being different, that would give her motive and the movie stakes. But, she's lashing-out at one guy in her school (who is, admittedly a prick, but not really a serious threat to her at all) and using her considerable powers to teach him (and, as implied at the end of the film, his father) a lesson makes her unsympathetic: she has nothing to gain and no real wrongs to reverse. I'd argue that Kendra acting upon her petty whims makes her the bully/antagonist of the film, not Kyle.

2. On that note: to lift the curse, Kyle, a thoughtless asshole who puts more stock into one's physical appearance than the content of their character, has to convince someone to love him in spite of the marring of tattoos, open (yet bloodless) wounds, nose boils, and solder scoring to lift the curse Kendra put on him (seriously, she should have instead just turn Kyle into a middle-aged schlub, transported him to L.A. and wish him luck with). Why condemn some hapless innocent into this game or ridicule and retribution? If Kendra's plan is to make petty jerks learn to be better people, why not go after bigger game (cough *Trump* cough) and do so without manipulating the emotions of an additional person who's oblivious to what's actually going on and can potentially get their heart broken? Kendra is a thoughtless asshole.

3. Rather than setting him up at Brooklyn brownstone, why doesn't Kyle's father just hide the now-deformed son he's ashamed of at the much more secluded cabin-mansion upstate?

4. Lindy's reaction to Kyle/Hunter at the end of this film should have been, "What. The. FUCK, Kyle?!? You're Hunter? You blackmailed my father into sending me to live with you?? And magic is real??? I can't fuckin' process any of this shit right now!" Which is then immediately followed by her running away from Kyle in any direction as fast as she can.

5. Frank O'Hara's "Sharing A Coke with You" may be a celebrated and beloved poem (right?), but does its inclusion in this film feel like blatant product placement for Coca-Cola to anyone else?

Agreed! I feel like would have been great as like a dark Teen Witch gone wrong. Like the scene of Luis Guzmán telling that girl to break a leg. So Mary Kate has suddenly come into her powers or doesn't know how to keep a handle on them and is SO enraged by this duchenozzle's latest bullshit she accidentally curses him and she can't undo it. Maybe there's a scene showing beforehand of her taking her time to get ready and how much effort she put in for that to make sense.