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JulyDiaz

Episode 206 - Little Italy

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Just now, Elektra Boogaloo said:

I've only really seen her in the terrible Nancy Drew movie. That was sad. This show might want to consider that. What else has she been in? Wasn't she in an American Horror Story?

Oh yeah I totally forgot about her in both of those. Nancy Drew was bad, but she was pretty good in AHS Coven. She pulled off that really confident bitchy type girl very well.

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Paul mentioned the movie The Experts, and I just want to say that I, too, had a strange fascination with that movie when I was young. I watched it way too many times. It is definitely worthy of an episode, and you have the perfect recipe right in front of you ... The Experts, about two hapless entrepreneurs opening up a night club.... with Marcus Lemonis!  Please!!!

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Hi guys! I actually got my act together this week to see this horrible movie and listen to the episode in time to get in to the C+Os! Excited to bring all sorts of sanctimonious Toronto-based perspectives soon.

Miss you all!

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Another thing I forgot. The Starbucks. Did we all just accidentally give Howard Schultz money by renting this?

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Sorry, it's my pet peeve when people say "Canadian accent."

There are people who can explain this better than I can, but there is no "Canadian accent."  When people say that, they are thinking of an Ontario or Alberta accent. I am from Newfoundland (pronounced New-Found-LAND) and no one talks with what people would call a Canadian accent. We sound Irish. 

 

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1 hour ago, Elektra Boogaloo said:

I've only really seen her in the terrible Nancy Drew movie. That was sad. This show might want to consider that. What else has she been in? Wasn't she in an American Horror Story?

I saw Hotel For Dogs, Nerve and Scream 4. She was fine in those or at least was acting at the level of the material. I'd be curious if she could be good in something with a decent script. I certainly don't think many people could make this dialogue sound good or believable. Even Danny Aiello is bad in this. He's a good actor and he's played a Sal's Pizza owner before in Do The Right Thing.

The only person who isn't terrible in this is Alyssa Milano but she's also an Italian woman from New York. I don't know anything about her personal life but her performance feels like "oh, this is just my aunt and I've been doing impressions of her my whole life to get laughs at family gatherings."

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1 hour ago, Agent Cactus said:

Paul mentioned the movie The Experts, and I just want to say that I, too, had a strange fascination with that movie when I was young. I watched it way too many times. It is definitely worthy of an episode, and you have the perfect recipe right in front of you ... The Experts, about two hapless entrepreneurs opening up a night club.... with Marcus Lemonis!  Please!!!

I loved The Experts. It was on Comedy Central a lot in the mid 90s. I haven't seen it since then but I think I'd have trouble finding flaws in a very obviously flawed movie.

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11 hours ago, pscudese said:

Let alone it's a direct rip off of this famous clip of Ramsay!

gm4ZbXU.gif

Dammit I've been beat to it. Also it's movies like this that remind me that Hayden Christensen is still alive and somehow getting work. I want to know who passed up on this role before the producer finally had to settle on him? Also is Emma Roberts really that hard up for work? She's been killing it in various TV shows and movies, so it makes no sense as to why she would do this film. And if you all want a odd bit of enjoyment, read the plot summary on this film's wiki page as it appears to be written by a preteen who fed a hastily written book report through Google translator then had it translated back to English.

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Okay, so I have a lot to say about this movie, much of which comes down to the bizarro geography all over Toronto.  To answer June and Paul's incredulity: yes, Little Italy is a real place in Toronto, and while it's not as famous as the New York version, arguably the wide streets and family neighbourhoods you can get here in Toronto would potentially make for a charming local story. Potentially, I said, since this movie is a hot mess.  Toronto is a city made up of little cultural neighbourhoods, and along with our three separate Chinatowns, we have a Polish district on Roncesvalles, a thriving Greektown on the Danforth, a wonderful Indian Bazaar on Gerrard (which features in the movie, briefly), amongst many others.

ldPjXkr.png

There is even a one-block long Maltese District: Toronto has been called for good reason the most multicultural city in the world.  The problem is, NONE of this movie was actually shot in Little Italy.  The feuding pizza shops are actually east of Little Italy, nearer to Kensington Market (at College and Robert), in a couple of abandoned storefronts.

ADW5Ix0.png

The 'Taste of Little Italy' festival (which is a real festival on College Street each year) is actually shot in the Distillery District in the east side of the city, which is distinctive for its cobblestoned streets.  The banner that reads 'Welcome to Little Italy':

gquLJWs.png

Yeah, that doesn't exist.  In fact, that's not Toronto at all. That's the Little Italy street sign FROM Mulberry Street, NEW YORK CITY. No wonder June was confused! WHY would you show the New York sign while setting up Toronto? WHY?

This, however, IS our Little Italy. Enjoy!

 

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4 hours ago, Elektra Boogaloo said:

I've only really seen her in the terrible Nancy Drew movie. That was sad. This show might want to consider that. What else has she been in? Wasn't she in an American Horror Story?

She was awful in it. It's the only season I've seen because I'm a scardy cat but I personally was thrilled when she died. I feel that's just who she is?

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3 hours ago, Elektra Boogaloo said:

Another thing I forgot. The Starbucks. Did we all just accidentally give Howard Schultz money by renting this?

This was the most painful political  giving I have ever done

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1 hour ago, Cakebug Tranch said:

The 'Taste of Little Italy' festival (which is a real festival on College Street each year) is actually shot in the Distillery District in the east side of the city, which is distinctive for its cobblestoned streets.  The banner that reads 'Welcome to Little Italy':

gquLJWs.png

Yeah, that doesn't exist.  In fact, that's not Toronto at all. That's the Little Italy street sign FROM Mulberry Street, NEW YORK CITY. No wonder June was confused! WHY would you show the New York sign while setting up Toronto? WHY?

This, however, IS our Little Italy. Enjoy!

 

They were definitely dressing the sets like Little Italy in New York which was why it was confusing. Like if they said no this is the Toronto Little Italy from the jump, it wouldn’t feel so odd. Like the sign in the front is like New York and the sign further down the street (which you can only half see in this shot) is ALSO from here. It’s for the San Gennaro festival which is celebrated every September. I know it’s not just a red/white/green Italy banner because now that you have screencapped it, I can see the Saint’s bishop hat—fun fact from Catholic school, it’s called a miter not a Pope hat—in that picture. 

Does Toronto’s Little Italy have a San Gennaro festival? He is the patron saint of Naples so only Napolitano Italian immigrants would celebrate it, and when I Googled “San Gennaro Toronto” it said it was “closed.”

And a follow up, if I may, do you allow figs on pizza is Canada?

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8 minutes ago, Elektra Boogaloo said:

Does Toronto’s Little Italy have a San Gennaro festival? He is the patron saint of Naples so only Napolitano Italian immigrants would celebrate it, and when I Googled “San Gennaro Toronto” it said it was “closed.”

And a follow up, if I may, do you allow figs on pizza is Canada?

Not so far as I know - the big food festival is the Taste of Little Italy (modelled on the original, the Taste of the Danforth, which is all Greek food), and it's a pretty lively district, especially around World Cup times. I wouldn't be surprised if there were figgy pizzas, although I'm sure the traditional places don't mess with that stuff.

A 'Canadian pizza' is mozzarella, bacon, pepperoni, tomato sauce, and mushrooms. 

ALSO: Hawaiian Pizza was invented in Chatham, Ontario, so you can thank Canada for that too...

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hawaiian_pizza

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36 minutes ago, Cakebug Tranch said:

s

Canadian pizza' is mozzarella, bacon, pepperoni, tomato sauce, and mushrooms. 

ALSO: Hawaiian Pizza was invented in Chatham, Ontario, so you can thank Canada for that too...

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hawaiian_pizza

This is the kind of info they could’ve leaned into to make their Little Italy distinctive! 

I don’t know why I am so frustrated by this. They seem to have wanted it to be all Little Italys but the narration to th effect of “tHis was our Little Italy” actually works better with a less generic world. 

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The amount of light fixtures in Layeo's rooftop garden drove me insane. I asked myself, does it not rain in Little Italy? Then I remembered it was pouring rain the day Nikki arrived! Was Luigi spending his days reinstalling rain-drenched lamps?

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So, I tried to count and there’s conservatively 20 lamps on the rooftop. There’s a Walmart near there, so I’m assuming that’s his lamp dealer. They have a bunch of bundled lamp sets (3 lamps in a set) for $50. That would put his lamp budget at around $350. I’m going to assume it’s a monthly cost as rain exists and it’s a safe bet that he doesn’t move them inside (they would be tripping over lamps all the time). That doesn’t include his extension cord, light bulb, or decorative ladder budget or any fees for filling the dumpster with lamps.  

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14 hours ago, Cakebug Tranch said:

There is even a one-block long Maltese District: Toronto has been called for good reason the most multicultural city in the world.  The problem is, NONE of this movie was actually shot in Little Italy.  The feuding pizza shops are actually east of Little Italy, nearer to Kensington Market (at College and Robert), in a couple of abandoned storefronts.

ADW5Ix0.png

 

On Facebook I am in a group that combines fans of HDTGM and My Favorite Murder (appropriately titled My Favorite Balcony Monsters) and a girl posted that she actually lives above where they filmed there on the left above the empty retail space. She said Andrea Martin was really nice and that she was very starstruck. She also couldn't believe they had actually transformed the very real pizza place into a flower shop for the movie, and that she had to live above all that noise for so long lol.

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On 2/1/2019 at 11:19 AM, taylorannephoto said:

I just described this movie to my coworker and he said he had actually already seen this exact movie on TV and then he sent me the IMDB link and holy shit y'all, this movie has literally already been covered 13 years before Canada decided to do it.

I present to y'all - Pizza My Heart

When they first mentioned Little ItalyPizza My Heart was the movie I thought they were watching. It had popped up on my streaming services for a while, but I've never seen it. 

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1 minute ago, WatchOutForSnakes said:

I'm still upset about Luigi. That whole character. Why? just Why? 

I agree. I felt at the beginning that the sight gag of this Luigi, who we assumed would be Italian, despite one of the grandfathers dismissing him as 'not Neapolitano', being Chinese-Canadian, would be the extent of it. It felt a bit cheap, but then the number of cultures who coexist in Toronto might explain that away. Then, the revelation that he came out to his Chinese father who kicked him out for being gay added a layer that might have been interesting. However, Luigi looks about the same age as Lei-o and whatshername. If he's saying he came out to his father, say, as a teenager, and then was disowned and kicked to the streets, then first of all, that's a matter for Child Protective Services. He says he walked the streets for days until he met the original Luigi who took him in.  That can't have been any more than a decade ago. In that ten years, Luigi has dropped his entire culture and identity, and then somehow inherited the bar (was old Luigi on the brink of death?), took over, and has ingratiated himself seamlessly into this culture without so much as a glance from anyone. This man is successfully running a popular business while assuming a new identity in what Gigi reminded us is a notoriously homophobic new culture. For a side character, he might have the most needless backstory ever. And then, the tired trope of a character coming out and then immediately turning into a gay stereotype, including grabbing Anakin's ass only a minute after coming out to him, essentially cheapening a nice bro moment. Luigi is a puzzle.

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Can we talk for a moment about the weekly 'fight' between the two fathers at Luigi's?  They establish repeatedly in the film that Sal and Vince seemingly cannot stand the sight of each other anymore and yet they supposedly have arranged to both come into Luigi's at the same time every Monday so they can verbally abuse each other.  Meanwhile, the rest of the bar bets on their fight with the 'loser' being determined by which of the two of them stands up first. 

As dumb as all of that is, in the one instance where we actually witness said fight, one of the two fathers stands up and the other stands up immediately in response.  Luigi calls this a 'tie' but they did not get up at exactly the same time.  But if you argue that they got up relatively close to one another to be considered a tie, then how would it not be a tie every time they do this?  I cannot see many instances where one of them would get so incensed that they would rise out of their seat and the other would calmly remain seated.

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Alternate Title: MoonSuck

I couldn't get a handle on wether Emma Roberts and Luigi would've really known each other that well, which made it all the more disturbing when he prances around naked in front of her the morning after drunk soccer, and then lets her believe they had sex. You know, as a joke. Then as soon as she composes herself, Leo does the same thing! She wakes up in the morning from being blackout, and the first two people she talks to tell her they date raped her. Which, the more I think about it, I'm not convinced that Leo didn't.

But that fits this movie, which HATES ER's character. She "wins" their little soccer game (which is just the two of them playing around in the park, alone. Is Rain Soccer supposed to be the rematch of that? Why would anyone care?) by standing still and getting knocked out by HC's kick. LATER - in cooking class, Jane Seymour (who is apparently the only chef in the world that Michelin changed their ratings system to give a fourth star to), pulls her out of class and tells her to go home for two weeks to change her visa for a job she may not even get, in which case she will be an unemployed cooking school dropout living on a work visa in the most expensive city in the world. But luckily, Leo is there with lines like "I wanna introduce you to someone - The Nikki I used to know." You know, before she ate so much kale. Are we still making jokes about kale? Even in the airport, at the end, when she is CARRYING OUT THE PLAN SHE HAD ALL ALONG, Leo and both families show up and say "What are you doing? Don't run away from HIM" and "It doesn't matter about them, I'VE CHANGED. I want to open MY own shop." No one gives a shit about the fact that SHE'S OPENING A RESTAURANT IN LONDON - with a famous chef - who she's studied with FOR YEARS and has CHANGED HER VISA FOR.  It's more important that she stays at home and does the books at Pizza Organica. 

Of course, like all the garbage in this movie, the writers think that they can cover it up if they just point it out. Emma Roberts at one point says "How is it that I'm the one in culinary school, but you're the one coming up with the dishes?" (Also: TSA Agent: "Don't change your plans for no man") Hey screenwriters - EXACTLY.  Why didn't you LET HER COME UP WITH SOME DISHES!?!?!?  Why didn't you LET HER COOK???? The fact that she is a chef is immaterial to the movie. Her great cooking triumphs consist of slicing  a raw fig and getting her grandma to share her sauce recipe. HC's rooftop 'za is talked about in detail, but in the cooking contest ER just seems to advance because she needs to; I have no idea what HER IDEAS were, only that she used Nonna's sauce.  To top it off, at the end of our story (and the reveal of the source of the VO), Jane Seymour comes to the wedding to recruit ER, but in the end just ends up franchising LEO's PIZZA PLACE - which again, her only contribution to seems to be that her grandma was so horny over Danny Aiello that she gave away her sauce recipe.

I wish the screenwriters had spent a little less of their Starbucks time asking for money, and a little more working on this nonsense script. Then again, they got one produced, so what do I know.

Five Stars.

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14 hours ago, bonerhonkfarts said:

So, I tried to count and there’s conservatively 20 lamps on the rooftop. There’s a Walmart near there, so I’m assuming that’s his lamp dealer. They have a bunch of bundled lamp sets (3 lamps in a set) for $50. That would put his lamp budget at around $350. I’m going to assume it’s a monthly cost as rain exists and it’s a safe bet that he doesn’t move them inside (they would be tripping over lamps all the time). That doesn’t include his extension cord, light bulb, or decorative ladder budget or any fees for filling the dumpster with lamps.  

I like thinking he roams Toronto looking for thrown out lamps to drag home. Just constantly dumpster diving for those sweet sweet lamps. OR he spends his entire paycheck on fancy top of the line lamps. 

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