Episode 235 — Underworld: Blood Wars LIVE!

[gigi-tastic 2322]

13 hours ago, Blast Hardcheese said:

I don’t think it’s mentioned in this episode, but the team behind the Underworld franchise tried to recapture the magic in yet another crazy-ass patchwork of action inanity in the form of I, Frankenstein (which, if I’m remembering this correctly, is based off of a comic book created by one of the Underworld writers). It’s basically the same premise as Underworld but with demons (bad guys, obviously) battling gargoyles (good guys, I think... ?) in yet another centuries-long underground blood-war-battle-feud-gothic-drama thing, with Frankenstein’s monster, Adam (I see what ya did there, writers!) caught in the middle. Humanity (or is it dignity?) is also at stake, too, maybe.

Isn't that already a thing in the cartoon Gargoyles? Or am I not remembering Gargoyles right? Remember the episode where they talk about gun safety by having the cop lady ( whose name escapes me but I really want to call Carmen?) get straight up SHOT?! Gargoyles went harder than any children's cartoon I can remember.

[Robert Denby 103]

I have to say, starting a movie with eleven minutes of exposition makes for a slow start. 

[Blast Hardcheese 636]

4 hours ago, gigi-tastic said:

Isn't that already a thing in the cartoon Gargoyles? Or am I not remembering Gargoyles right? Remember the episode where they talk about gun safety by having the cop lady ( whose name escapes me but I really want to call Carmen?) get straight up SHOT?! Gargoyles went harder than any children's cartoon I can remember.

Both Gargoyles (a Disney joint, by the by) and Exo Squad (which tackled lighthearted themes such as war, bio-engineered slavery and humans as the antagonists) were pretty aggro for children’s cartoons. 

But, yeah, Gargoyles—which has a far superior storyline—is the very first thing I thought of when I saw the I, Frankenstein trailer.

 

[Cam Bert 8145]

I think I, Frankenstein would have been a better movie to go with because it is legit crazy. You are asking the same level of questions about that movie as the hosts are of this movie and the only difference is this movie's questions have been answered in the prior films. I, Frankenstein makes up tons of batshit lore on the spot and you just go with it.

Also I watched all these movies no so long ago and my official ranking of the films is: 3 > 1 > 5 > 2 > the animated thing > 4. 

The forth movie is shit and I just remember not having fun with its level of crazy. I think, X-23ing Selene aside, the problem is the film makers took a side. So this series is basically Vampire vs Werewolf and the first film you get Selene and Scott Speedman who are the heroes of their factions. Neither one is better than the other and you can pick the side you like. Much like things like Warcraft, there is no "bad" side. Both sides have bad people but you are not a bad guy for choosing Horde over Alliance (in fact this is the only and right choice...) and you're not wrong for picking werewolf over vampire. However, as the films go on the Vampires you come to realize are kinda dicks. They basically hunt werewolves and use them as slaves. They keep them oppressed , deny them rights and privileges and for literally doing nothing wrong. It was after the third film that the producers had to look at the vampires and ask "Are we the baddies?" So the forth film really ramps up how evil the werewolves are and how they are doing all these horrible things hoping for a vampire genocide which then forces you into being like "Wow, werewolves are evil I guess I'm team vamp." No! That's why the fifth film the conflict is among the vamps which seems to be the logical place to go, and better than rehashing the same story again.

[Cameron H. 23786]

7 hours ago, Cam Bert said:

I think I, Frankenstein would have been a better movie to go with because it is legit crazy. You are asking the same level of questions about that movie as the hosts are of this movie and the only difference is this movie's questions have been answered in the prior films. I, Frankenstein makes up tons of batshit lore on the spot and you just go with it.

1000%. I really don’t understand picking the fifth movie of a series and then saying, “I don’t get it.” It’s like reading the last chapter of a novel and then complaining that it “doesn’t make sense.”

Like you were saying, I, Frankenstein, or the even the first Underworld, would have probably been better picks. They have a lot of the same issues they had with this movie, but at least they wouldn’t be wondering who prominent characters are from the series. I really don’t think the fifth movie in a series should have the onus of explaining *everything* that’s ever happened to these characters. I mean, they seemed to have a problem with the initial expo dump and then they complained that they didn’t have enough information to understand what was going on. That first flashback is just the “Previously in...” page of a comic book. It’s catching you up to speed on relevant plot points, but it’s not supposed to be a substitute for having watched the previous films. It’s supposed to be a refresher, not a detailed synopsis.

[the baa detective 64]

After seeing Semira drink a cartoonishly large of blood and red veins popping up on her arms and shoulder, I thought she's going to become some sort vampire super saiyan, capable of taking on both the vampires and werewolves combined. Instead, she just became immune to sunlight and...slightly more powerful than other vampires? Which made her plan really dumb. After taking over the coven, how's she going to deal with the looming threat of the werewolf army? The vampires had lost quite few soldiers thanks to her attempt to frame Selene, the only person who's capable of transforming the young vampires into a formidable fighting force. So even if she didn't get stabbed in the back (both metaphorically and literally,) she would still be overwhelmed by Marius the hybrid and his cannon/harpoon-wielding werewolves. Why not just betrayed Selene after she helped to defeat the werewolves, after the existential threat had been resolved?  

Also, Alexia killed at least 2 train station people (the guys who slumped on their chairs underneath the subway/train map) while searching for Selene. And according to the 4th movie (I only read the wikipedia entry,) the humans were now actively hunting the vampires and the werewolves. Won't these deaths, at the very least, arouse suspicion from some sort of...I don't know...anti-vampire government task-force?

[AdrianFlynn 68]

My wife hasnt seen and doesnt want to see any harry potter but she watched the 2 fantastic beasts, that makes sense 

[Cameron H. 23786]

Paul seemed confused why Selene drank her own blood and questioned why she couldn’t just remember, but I believe the implication is that blood memory is more tangible than cognitive recall. She had just learned through Marius’ blood that the love of her life, Michael, had been tortured and viciously bled to death so he could blood dope on his sweet, sweet hybrid plasma. Biting herself allowed her to not just remember Michael, but literally re-experience their time together. She’s acting out of grief and wanting to see him again. It also served a dual purpose of drowning out the violent images of Michael’s death, by focusing her attention on his life. This prevents her from collapsing in despair, which would have given Marius the edge, and gave her the fortitude to rip his spine out of his damned dirty doggie body. 

[tomspanks 9039]

On 3/13/2020 at 7:08 PM, Cameron H. said:

The second is pretty great. I think my least favorite is Awakening, but it’s been a while since I’ve seen it. 

The point is: these are perfect movies and anyone who disagrees with us are dumb-dumb wrongheads.

Oh, and Scott Speedman and Scott Stapp are 1000% the same person, right 

HOW DARE YOU

[Cameron H. 23786]

3 minutes ago, tomspanks said:

HOW DARE YOU

Sorry, I’ll see myself off to “My Own Prison”

[Blast Hardcheese 636]

15 hours ago, Cameron H. said:

1000%. I really don’t understand picking the fifth movie of a series and then saying, “I don’t get it.” It’s like reading the last chapter of a novel and then complaining that it “doesn’t make sense.”

Like you were saying, I, Frankenstein, or the even the first Underworld, would have probably been better picks. They have a lot of the same issues they had with this movie, but at least they wouldn’t be wondering who prominent characters are from the series. I really don’t think the fifth movie in a series should have the onus of explaining *everything* that’s ever happened to these characters. I mean, they seemed to have a problem with the initial expo dump and then they complained that they didn’t have enough information to understand what was going on. That first flashback is just the “Previously in...” page of a comic book. It’s catching you up to speed on relevant plot points, but it’s not supposed to be a substitute for having watched the previous films. It’s supposed to be a refresher, not a detailed synopsis.

When this movie was announced as one of the tour films HDTGM would be discussing, I thought it was a strange choice. It’s not the most over-the-top film in the Underworld series, but maybe they had their reasons or special insights into this installment of the franchise in particular. Listening to this episode, however, it seemed like Paul, June and Jason were trying to backwards engineer many of the plot points they found confusing and convoluted (check and double check) established in the earlier films. it’s still a very hilarious HDTGM episode, please don’t get me wrong. But I still wish they would have reviewed the first film instead.

[gigi-tastic 2322]

6 hours ago, Cameron H. said:

Sorry, I’ll see myself off to “My Own Prison”

I'm starting to question why you know so many of these songs. I don't mind because I love a pin but I'm starting to question how big Creed fan you are

[tornadowrangler 6]

Available to rent at my local video store! (Video Station in Taylor, Texas). Still in the new releases even! 

All the other Underworld movies were in the Action section so I almost didn’t find it!

[Astronomiss 1]

I kind of enjoyed how ridiculous this movie was, but as a regular blood donor, I had some major beef with the blood draw scene.  Judging by the giant goblet they wind up with, they got something like a pint of blood from Selene. That would take between five to ten minutes with one needle the size of a ballpoint pen tip! You don't need a machine for that, and a larger needle would be less efficient, since it would likely tear the sides of the blood vessels open, causing the blood to seep into the surrounding tissue and be lost. Also, blood is generally purified by the liver and kidneys. How the hell are they expecting the toxin to be removed from her blood it once it's out of her body? They're not running it through filters or anything; they just seem to be waiting it out!

[DrGuts1003 462]

5 hours ago, tornadowrangler said:

Available to rent at my local video store! (Video Station in Taylor, Texas). Still in the new releases even! 

All the other Underworld movies were in the Action section so I almost didn’t find it!

And is that another HDTGM film, Unforgettable, I see there?

[DannytheWall 196]

 

I do remember watching the original in theaters, but I was surprised to find out there were five of these things! Wow. That made me look up Wikipedia for the original movie's release date, and it was 2003?! I'm terrible at math, but that seems like seventeen years ago. That's when I looked up Kate Beckinsale. She was born in 1973?! I think we know who the true vampire is, and yes, June, it seems they do live among us!  

[BoogieWoogieHedgehog 2]

I have a friend who really enjoys the Underworld series.  When I told her I was watching it for the podcast, told her all of my grievances with it and she said I was being nitpicky for the sake of the show.  

I haven't listened to the episode yet, but I was at the live taping and had some notes and some memories of things I wanted to bring up:

• Did anyone get the impression that the movie really wanted to set up that the werewolves weren't the bad guys and it was only the vampires that had recruited Selene?  Between the main Lycan having a romance with that one vampire and his insistence that had no plans to kill Selene's daughter, it seemed as though they were leading to a late reveal that he was really on her side and they'd team up.
• The movie spent a lot of time flashing back to a number of things that had just happened.  It seemed like it was put together on a very slim budget.  Blood Wars was the first live show of the night, the second one (no spoilers) was a very expensive film so the difference in that regard was really noticeable.
• I wrote "What kind of sexy talk is this?" I don't remember what that this was in regards to.  Also, "Thomas" was a very boring vampire name.

[Cameron H. 23786]

Just FYI...

(Not that anyone has really had anything to say for this episode. Also, does Paul not have access to the forums anymore??? )

[Blast Hardcheese 636]

2 hours ago, Cameron H. said:

Just FYI...

(Not that anyone has really had anything to say for this episode. Also, does Paul not have access to the forums anymore??? )

Yeah, that is weird.

[Cameron H. 23786]

53 minutes ago, Blast Hardcheese said:

Yeah, that is weird.

It’s like my mom thinking she can only access her email from work.

[sycasey 2.0 2301]

I have not watched an Underworld movie since seeing the first one in theaters in 2003. Like many of you, I also remember that movie being terrible and then also being baffled that they seem to have made 5 or 6 more of them. Not having caught up on any of the subsequent lore, Underworld: Blood Wars was pretty much unintelligible.

I also don't recall a whole lot about the original movie, other than it had vampires fighting werewolves, only the movie does not explain for quite some time that the people it calls "Lycans" are actually werewolves. So when I heard the vampire characters talking about "lichens" I assumed their enemies were some kind of tree fungus.

[gigi-tastic 2322]

Ok so I looked into the last movie apparently the facility that Selene's daughter grew up in was NOT actually run by humans but by Lycans masquerading as humans trying to make super Lycans and they are using Eve to do so??? I think that the best part is the company is called Antigen . An antigen is a harmful substance like the cold virus, that enters the body and makes it produce an immune response. In a way I guess you could call the vamperism/ Lycanism that Eve carries that makes her a hybrid a form of an antigen? In the movie when she , her mother, and some other random vampire named David( I think he's new to this movie?) get attacked by sickly Lycans her hybrid traits are activated much like the body's immune system would be to a threat. If this company succeeded in building super Lycans ( getting real tired of pretending that's a word) they too would have to have their body's undergo a similar situation. Or you could look at it as this company infecting society ... Whatever. I'm over thinking this but what else do I have to do?!

[gigi-tastic 2322]

On 3/17/2020 at 7:28 PM, Blast Hardcheese said:

Yeah, that is weird.

I think it's because they are now a part of the show? Like it's become a *thing* to ask their opinions?

[Cameron H. 23786]

24 minutes ago, gigi-tastic said:

I think it's because they are now a part of the show? Like it's become a *thing* to ask their opinions?

But he generally asks their opinions on the phone calls, which is what he’s saying he wants.

I also think it’s weird since I feel like it would be far easier for him to pull up Earwolf on his laptop/phone/whatever rather than dealing with phone calls and trying to mix them into the ep. Like, “I can’t look at the forums because I’m not in studio.” LOL

But, like I said, it’s not like Blood Wars lit up the forum. It’s not a big deal. We’re barely at two pages and it’s mainly us saying that the other movies (or I, Frankenstein) would have been better picks and Scott Speedman/Stapp conspiracy theories.

[gigi-tastic 2322]

On 3/16/2020 at 10:09 PM, DannytheWall said:

 

I do remember watching the original in theaters, but I was surprised to find out there were five of these things! Wow. That made me look up Wikipedia for the original movie's release date, and it was 2003?! I'm terrible at math, but that seems like seventeen years ago. That's when I looked up Kate Beckinsale. She was born in 1973?! I think we know who the true vampire is, and yes, June, it seems they do live among us!  

You want to talk about vampires (slayers)?? Two words: BIANCA LAWSON! She played teenagers in tv for  20 YEARS. The woman has not aged.

At 18 playing Kendra on Buffy so I want to say 97 /98? 

Now

 

the vampires walk among us and they have fantastic skin!!!