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Cam Bert

Episode 246 - Swordfish: LIVE!

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So I don't know if it was my Netflix subtitles but it said that the Finnish guys were speaking German. Was that a nod to say they weren't really Finnish or was Netflix just drunk or did the movie just not bother to have the actors to speak Finnish? I hate this movie

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My favorite part of the movie was the reason those guys left the restroom. It was because " I can't pee in front of an audience ". I love how supportive his buddy was of that. Like of course you can't bro!

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1 hour ago, Olive_Duster said:

When Stanley is forced to hack into the Department of Defense’s system with a gun to his head, he is simultaneously being fellated by one of Soul Patch’s bimbos, apparently to completion. The only problem with this is that  men only achieve an erection when the parasympathetic nervous system is activated, the branch of the autonomic nervous system associated with relaxation. The sympathetic nervous system is responsible for the “fight or flight” response which would be activated when the gun was put to his head. These two branches of the autonomic nervous system cannot be activated simultaneously and, therefore, I must conclude that Stanley has to be either faking an orgasm or faking his fear. I like to think he was somehow in cohoots with the blonde bimbo whom he met in the yet-to-be-made prequel, ‘Hammerhead’, which focuses on his obsessive investigation into Holly’s step-father, the porn producer.

 

Also, why did wardrobe dress Holly like she was the understudy for Rhoda?

Oh he is 100% soft. She also totally spilled tequila on him as someone in the Facebook group mentioned. That can't be pleasant

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13 minutes ago, gigi-tastic said:

Welcome! And I'm so sorry you had to see this movie. It personally made me feel physically unwell. Also yeah seeing a black woman be hung was awful I had to skip the who scene

Hi! Yeah, I'm glad it wasn't just me who had that reaction. Like, there are two black characters in this whole movie and you do that to one of them? I don't know how that could have been a good look even in 2001. Mega Yikes.

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6 hours ago, Cam Bert said:

So where is this 7" cut they are talking about? The tattoo he could have gotten after prison and therefore not on his file but if he had such a large cut on his shoulder that they had to make note of it why is it not visible two years later? That is unless of course we all assume this is some sort of penis reference. Yes I went there and I am sorry.

You going places like this is why we love you.

7 hours ago, Cam Bert said:

I have a golf related question then.

So it looks like he's using an iron and not a driver in the scene. His shots seem to be landing around the 150 yard mark. If you are using a higher iron, wouldn't that be about right? Maybe his form was shit, but even the highest iron is going to what, drive 200 yards or so?

It was definitely an iron but the length of it suggests it's at least a 7 or 6-Iron, which means he should be getting the ball around 175-180. But his swing is all arms ... he barely twists his torso and his waist is completely quiet. It's like he's shooting a pitch shot, which wouldn't go near 150. Halle's form is awful but at least she puts her whole body into it. 

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Two questions:

1. Where is Sam Shepherd's security detail at the moment that he is shot while fly-fishing? I know that his personal bodyguard/lackey is busy getting himself blown up (again with a ball-bearing shrapnel body, which for a solo-target car bomb -- why?) but if he's really a senator, shouldn't he have Secret Service on him too? Seems like someone at Homeland Security dropped the ball.

2. Why does Hugh Jackman have to be American in this film? Why can't Stan be Australian so that Hugh Jackman doesn't have to put on a fake accent? Vinnie Jones is there speaking with his normal cockney voice, which I'd argue makes even less sense because why would a British man care about American homeland security interests ... but there is nothing in the script that demands Stan be American. Sure he has an American child but she's barely ever been around him so she wouldn't have picked up his jargon. That kind of thing get explained away all the time in movies: Why is Sandy Australian in Grease? Because her family moved to the states last summer for her dad's work. Easy -- one line explains it away and it never has to be brought up again. 

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On 8/14/2020 at 3:02 PM, JimKata said:

I looked into the screenwriter, Skip woods, and he seems like a character. His other screenwriting credits include films such as X-Men Origins: Wolverine, Died Hard parts 4 & 5, The A-Team, Sabotage, and the Hitman movies. His only directing credit to date is for a 1998 movie called Thursday, which he also wrote. I legitimately stopped reading the plot after I got to this part:

I remember randomly seeing Thursday on TV late one night in college. It was such a sub-Tarantino piece of awful shite that we muted it, turned on subtitles and acted it out. Despite us all being drunk and/or stoned I'm sure we improved this utter utter piece of garbage.

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Has John Travolta silently snuck his way into becoming the new Nick Cage? 
Considering some of his roles that I've seen recently...I'm kind of enjoying the unbridled insanity.

And what is his most unfortunate facial hair + head hair combination?

  • Battlefield Earth
  • Swordfish
  • Killing Season
  • The Fanatic
  • something else?
     

 

trav3.PNG

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17 hours ago, Greg T said:

Realistically the car should have already stalled when Travolta does the handbrake turn and stops.  It's not like anyone is pressing on the clutch.  It would be a surprise that Jackman could even get it into neutral to start it then find 1st gear.

And there was no noise as he tried to change gears? I remember 16 year old me trying to figure this out and it’s the worst, loudest sound known to man. 

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When the FBI guys have Gabriel's crime mansion under surveillance one of the agents says that it was leased 2 weeks ago by a blind corporation.  That just made me wonder about the wine cellar.  Did the house come with a stocked wine cellar?  Or did Gabriel go through the trouble to stock the whole thing for the very short time they'd be living there?

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6 hours ago, ChunkStyle said:

When the FBI guys have Gabriel's crime mansion under surveillance one of the agents says that it was leased 2 weeks ago by a blind corporation.  That just made me wonder about the wine cellar.  Did the house come with a stocked wine cellar?  Or did Gabriel go through the trouble to stock the whole thing for the very short time they'd be living there?

Also, Hugh Jackman's character knowing enough about wines to go find some and not just grab random bottles is puzzling.

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I can't believe I'm going to do this but I have to defend the blow job scene. Wait, hear me out, I'm not defending their choice to test him under pressure with a gun to his head and a mouth on his penis. No. Rather, from a writer stand point I get what they were trying to establish. So the writer of this movie wants you to think that John Travolta is a mastermind on a complete other level. He's got plans on plans on plans, he's got you check mated before you know you're playing chess. To that end he needed a  plan for if Stanley was to turn on them or not deliver the cash at some point. Why else would he fake Ginger being an undercover agent and have Stanley think she was an innocent victim if not for it to work to their advantage later. Their plan was if Stanley turned on them threaten Ginger because he will help her which is exactly what happens in the movie. However, part of this plan was stringing her up by her neck and have her life actually be in danger. As we know from the end of the movie she was in on it the entire time so they never wanted her to die so why would they hang her? They only did it because they knew she would be safe. When they meet Stanley they test his ability to perform under pressure and in a panicked state. When they see he was able to do something so fast they know that they have a 30 second window they could threaten Ginger's life during. That scene, as gross and uncomfortable as it was in service of them knowing Stanley could perform later on with Ginger's life in danger and her suffering no permanent damage. That is why that scene is there. As to why sex had to be involved? I can not defend that.

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14 hours ago, JeffreyMcDonald said:

Has John Travolta silently snuck his way into becoming the new Nick Cage? 
Considering some of his roles that I've seen recently...I'm kind of enjoying the unbridled insanity

............... silently?

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19 hours ago, Fast B said:

Also, I'm glad somebody (Paul?) mentioned The Matrix, because at some point while watching I turned to my wife and said, "THIS MOVIE IS TRYING SUPER HARD TO BE THE MATRIX, RIGHT?" (caps to depict me trying to talk over the insane noise). It's like they saw that movie and Hackers and took away all the wrong ideas.

YES! I was actually surprised they didn't bring it up again after the 360 degree explosion.  The hair, the clothes, the raves, the sunglasses, the command-line-looking opening credits, the green tint to everything — but nothing was as egregious as the multiple different orchestral stings that appear to be lifted directly from Don Davis' Matrix score.  

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16 hours ago, JeffreyMcDonald said:

Has John Travolta silently snuck his way into becoming the new Nick Cage? 
Considering some of his roles that I've seen recently...I'm kind of enjoying the unbridled insanity.

Cage, Travolta, John Cusack and Bruce Willis are the Mt. Rushmore of direct to video movies of the 2000s. 

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I know pre-9/11 airport security wasn’t as stringent as it is today, but how dumb do you have to be to leave your real passport easily found in your luggage?  Is it possible the Finnish hacker wanted to get caught so he didn’t have to get involved with Travolta’s insane antics?

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17 hours ago, ChunkStyle said:

When the FBI guys have Gabriel's crime mansion under surveillance one of the agents says that it was leased 2 weeks ago by a blind corporation.  That just made me wonder about the wine cellar.  Did the house come with a stocked wine cellar?  Or did Gabriel go through the trouble to stock the whole thing for the very short time they'd be living there?

I'm guessing it was there and a happy coincidence since that was a pretty stacked cellar.

10 hours ago, Cam Bert said:

Also, Hugh Jackman's character knowing enough about wines to go find some and not just grab random bottles is puzzling.

Eh at first it's trial and error, but when you find one you like you usually stick with a certain maker or grape type, plus he took the bottle with him to find another matching one. If anything is puzzling it's that he found an identical bottle so quickly in a large wine cellar that didn't look like it had any organization pattern like alphabetical or wine type.

6 hours ago, Cam Bert said:

Cage, Travolta, John Cusack and Bruce Willis are the Mt. Rushmore of direct to video movies of the 2000s. 

You should also consider Thomas Jane as he has really churned out some stinkers since his peak in the early 2000s.

5 hours ago, DrGuts1003 said:

I know pre-9/11 airport security wasn’t as stringent as it is today, but how dumb do you have to be to leave your real passport easily found in your luggage?  Is it possible the Finnish hacker wanted to get caught so he didn’t have to get involved with Travolta’s insane antics?

Yeah that infuriated me that this guy was apparently the top hacker in the world and on numerous most wanted lists and comes into the US with another passport basically lying on top of his laptop for anyone to see. Having watched Border Security on Netflix and seeing how much they delve into things when something questionable is happening in an airport or the things that they see as red flags, this is almost like it was a training exercise to see if the TSA agent was asleep on the job by catching this underhand pitch.

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18 minutes ago, RyanSz said:

I'm guessing it was there and a happy coincidence since that was a pretty stacked cellar.

I think that is probably right.  It is just the fact that the house is a lease that is throwing me off.  If I was the one leasing the house that stocked wine cellar would be extremely bad for my health as I'd think the more I drank the better the terms of the deal have become.  At the very least my friends would be getting lots of wine as gifts.  Or on the other side if the terms of the lease are that the wine cellar is treated like a hotel minibar that means the leasing company has to send in some poor intern to do a full inventory and make sure that every bottle in there is what they had on the books and hasn't been replaced by Two-Buck Chuck.  I guess thinking about this proves that I am not cut out to live the lifestyle of a psychotic anti-terrorist vigilante.  But that does kind of bring me to a larger point.  Gabriel says he wants that 9.5 billion dollars in order to prosecute his war on terrorism.  But it seems like a decent chunk of that will also be going towards paying for his billionaire playboy lifestyle.  Which doesn't really seem like a necessary component of his job.  Maybe if he ran a more lean operation he wouldn't have put himself in the situation of needing to kill Americans he is supposedly protecting in order to get more money for his war chest.

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3 minutes ago, ChunkStyle said:

I think that is probably right.  It is just the fact that the house is a lease that is throwing me off.  If I was the one leasing the house that stocked wine cellar would be extremely bad for my health as I'd think the more I drank the better the terms of the deal have become.  At the very least my friends would be getting lots of wine as gifts.  Or on the other side if the terms of the lease are that the wine cellar is treated like a hotel minibar that means the leasing company has to send in some poor intern to do a full inventory and make sure that every bottle in there is what they had on the books and hasn't been replaced by Two-Buck Chuck.  I guess thinking about this proves that I am not cut out to live the lifestyle of a psychotic anti-terrorist vigilante.  But that does kind of bring me to a larger point.  Gabriel says he wants that 9.5 billion dollars in order to prosecute his war on terrorism.  But it seems like a decent chunk of that will also be going towards paying for his billionaire playboy lifestyle.  Which doesn't really seem like a necessary component of his job.  Maybe if he ran a more lean operation he wouldn't have put himself in the situation of needing to kill Americans he is supposedly protecting in order to get more money for his war chest.

I'm thinking the lifestyle is only really coming from the guys that he's killing and posing as, since they appear to be high level mercenaries/terrorists for hire/criminals. So it plays up the trope of action movies where the top guy criminal lives this uber crazy luxurious life while the lower end guys and cops chasing them are down in the dirt wearing cheap suits. Plus I am also guessing that any guy he's taking over he is also liquidating the assets of, so say you're replacing a drug kingpin, you're looking at an easy 7-8 figure amount of money coming in along with whatever is turn into cash to help fund the cause. The heist for the 9 billion is just a nice buffer to pad the budget while also giving you the ability to properly kickstart your war.

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So with all of the talk about the writer of this movie Skip Woods and his lone directorial outing with the Tarantino knockoff, Thursday, I looked up that movie to get a refresher of what it was as it sounded so familiar and then looked up Woods on Wikipedia. I was surprised at the cast in Thursday as you had a lot of known names in it such as Thomas Jane and Aaron Eckhart, who I still contend are the same person just wearing different wigs depending on the role, as well as Mickey Rourke as as corrupt cop. I mention this as when I saw the picture of Skip Woods I couldn't help but wonder if this is just Mickey Rourke wearing a bad late 90s/early 2000s wig.

220px-A_picture_of_writer_Skip_Woods.jpg

Am I losing my mind or does Rourke have a side gig as a screenwriter?

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On 8/14/2020 at 1:15 PM, Wil Dride said:

The music in the blowjob hacking scene sounds like a hybrid of the Snatch theme and the music from the Turkey Sandwich/Hubcap vehicle On the Line.

Funny but after listening to the scene where Hugh Jackman falls down the cliffside i thought the music was very similar to the Matrix.  Both movies are from Warner Bros and Swordfish already lifted the 360 camera technique from The Matrix.  When i saw this in theaters i thought all directors were going to over use this technique.  I cannot think of another movie that mimic this.

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I rewatched this movie and have questions.

 

1. Why wasn't Hugh Jackman charged with murder at the end.  Just because he was a hostage, which the police may not believe since he did not have a C4 vest and went to the coffee shop with Travolta, but that does not give him the right to commit murder.  Is that the best course of action for him to get his daughter back, by killing criminals.  Further we saw the rush of people and cops in the building the bus landed one.  I speculate there is a a good chance Hugh Jackman took out at least one innocent bystander when the helicopter comes crashing down into the side of a building and/or on the street below.

 

2. When John Travolta's goons kill Torvalds (the original hired hacker) at the airport police station how come they never got caught.  A secure area of the airport and the goons kill him in cold blood but we never see anyone attempt to find and arrest the goons responsible.  They were literally less than 50 feet away from Don Cheadle!

 

For the record I own this movie on bluray.  It was part of an offer when I bought my PS3 and got 5 movies for free.  Of the r choices this may have been the most entertaining.  I also got Stir of Echoes, Wild Hogs (with Travolta), Flight of the Phoenix, and The Patriot.

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I was really surprised that they didn’t mention the topless scene and when the audience member asked about it they skipped it very quickly. They often miss the pop cultural significance of the movies when they are going back to the 80’s but all three of them were in their twenties when this came out, they had to be aware that this was the only thing about this movie that was significant at the time of its release. 

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6 hours ago, jimkiler said:

. When John Travolta's goons kill Torvalds (the original hired hacker) at the airport police station how come they never got caught.  A secure area of the airport and the goons kill him in cold blood but we never see anyone attempt to find and arrest the goons responsible.  They were literally less than 50 feet away from Don Cheadle!

 

My guess it just falls under the trope of "no one hears anything if it's got a silencer," which isn't how it really is as a gun with a silencer sounds like a person poorly trying to get a metal ladder hung on rack in their garage and is easy to hear. But in the world of this movie they quickly get in the listening area of the interrogation room, I'm guessing with faked IDs, though considering the Senator was involved and mentioned Torvalds already working with them and under their authority, they might have had legit badges to get them through a secure area like that. Add to it that both guys looked the part of agents so no one would really bat an eye at two plain looking dudes walking around in an office like that with hundreds of employees. And given that it took a solid 45 seconds to a minute for Cheadle to get into the office with the phone, see the person calling for him hung up, and call the dick supervisor back, then the additional minute to argue with him about getting/not getting called by him, they could have easily been out of there after killing the two dudes.

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"1. Why wasn't Hugh Jackman charged with murder at the end.  Just because he was a hostage, which the police may not believe since he did not have a C4 vest and went to the coffee shop with Travolta, but that does not give him the right to commit murder.  Is that the best course of action for him to get his daughter back, by killing criminals.  Further we saw the rush of people and cops in the building the bus landed one.  I speculate there is a a good chance Hugh Jackman took out at least one innocent bystander when the helicopter comes crashing down into the side of a building and/or on the street below."

 

Given how felony murder charges have been used historically, the thought that Jackman wouldn't be charged in a scenario where like 100 plus people die most of which are police officers is absolutely mental. 

He would get like 10 life sentences at least. 

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