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CarolineEAnd

Bad Summer Movies!

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omg please do Battleship!!!!!!!! The last 25 minutes-hilarious. Me and my buddy were just make silly ass comments, very loudly and craking up about a dozen people around us, who I think initially wanted to take the movie serious but could not and then were very entertained by us. Yes there were like 35 people in the 830 Tuesday showing of this trash barge! I have know idea why. I know you guys just did Speed 2 but please stay in the terrible boat theme and do this one, it is funny yet aweful! Thanks-luv the podcast, I never miss an ep!

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Agreed on the Judge Dredd, Road House, and Godzilla recommendations.

 

ALso, for more recent nonsense (and in the Judge Dredd vein) I have to suggest Priest. Pure nonsense of the highest caliber!

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You guys were talking about the lack of Nic Cage movies... well here's one for your summer blockbuster appitite:

 

all_dvd_covers_gone_in_60_seconds_widescreen-other.jpg

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This is a good one too, and is also on Netflix instant:

SnakeEyesPoster.jpg

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Of movies unmentioned, I say Howard the Duck...I have no idea how that movie was made. Also, Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull was pretty bad, but a lot these movies already mentioned are way worse! So, I have to agree with others about Super Mario Bros, Van Helsing, Batman & Robin, Masters of the Universe, Judge Dredd, and Godzilla (1998). Of those, chose Godzilla...Ferris Bueller and the Professional chasing down a giant lizard through Manhattan that changes in size as much as Ang Lee's Hulk. The lizard looks nothing like the classic monster and turns up being a pissed off pregnant mother. They took the word Pregzilla and turned it into a movie. But, the studio makes a reptilian monster movie with a horrible plot and terrible special effects and decides if they slap on a franchise worthy title, all is forgiven. Well, not for me. not for me. :o

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Guys. Snow White & The Huntsman is HORRIBLE! It has a 46% on RT but don't be deceived, it is an utter mess. When the acting, directing, dialogue, and visual effects aren't completely obscurring the abismal story, there are scenes that don't make sense and in one glaring case are completely ripped off from other movies for no percevable benifit to the film!

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Batman and Robin, Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace, Waterworld, and Johnny Mnemonic

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I would like to suggest Jurassic Park 3. It's basically Gremlins 2, but with raptors.

 

I would like to second:

Van Helsing

League of Extraordinary Gentlemen

Masters of the Universe

Waterworld

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Oh and one more suggestion. Meteor Man:

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I would love to hear a take on Mamma Mia, a movie that I acutally enjoy watching, once I get past how it's one of the most poorly directed and shot movies ever. Seriously, how did Phyllidia Lloyd get away with this movie??

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I agree with whoever suggested Johnny Mnemonic. I actually saw it in the theater (yeah, I'm the guy! I saw Tank Girl too!), and while I don't recall it being any good, I imagine it might have a bit more entertainment value now, because it was all super high-tech by 1995 standards, which means it's probably hilariously out-of-date in 2012.

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I'm relatively sure that "Jersey Shore Shark Attack" will be a new classic summer blockbuster. BEHOLD!

 

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I agree with RorBoy, Transformers 2( really any Transformers film would do), and Super Mario Bros. The Movie are excellent suggestions. The latter especially, seeing as how I've had a vendetta against the Mario Bros. movie for years. I suggested it in the recommendations forum a while back. That movie is mind numbingly awful, it would be a perfect episode.

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Batman and Robin

The Happening (How has this not been done yet?)

Transformers 2: Revenge of the Fallen

Pearl Harbor

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Wild Wild West, c'mon people.

 

Also, I agree with Batman and Robin. I loved Batman and Robin when I was a child, and now it is a ridculously good time.

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Has anyone suggested Dragon-Wars: D-War yet? I made an account here just to suggest it.

 

Also:

Marmaduke

The Sorcerer's Apprentice

Zookeeper

Soul Plane

Bratz: The Movie

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Super Mario Bros. It's almost unwatchable for me because Mario was such a childhood icon for me and this movie destroys him, but it demands discussion, to say the least.

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I would like to add Mission Impossible II to the list of suggestions. I snuck into this movie back when it was in theaters and felt like I got ripped off.

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Watched Godzilla on this lazy summer saturday afternoon with popcorn and everything in a feeble attempt to recapture watching all those old original ones on tv...Godzilla vs the Smog Monster anyone?

Professor Procrastination nailed it above:

Ferris Bueller and the Professional chasing down a giant lizard through Manhattan that changes in size as much as Ang Lee's Hulk. The lizard looks nothing like the classic monster and turns up being a pissed off pregnant mother. They took the word Pregzilla and turned it into a movie. But, the studio makes a reptilian monster movie with a horrible plot and terrible special effects and decides if they slap on a franchise worthy title, all is forgiven...

Godzilla the misunderstood teenager becomes misunderstood mama? I dunno though, maybe those old ones had plot holes big enough for Godzilla to jump through and ridiculous hackneyed dialog...Try offsetting the dialog a few seconds so it seems like it is poorly dubbed..."Mon dieu! You call thees coffee! Sacre bleu!!"

 

philippe_coffee.jpg

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May I offer Prometheus? I was so disappointed and would like to here the trio go off on the characters' STUPID decisions and the crazy nonsensical plot, dead ends, etc.

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Any Michael Bay movie deserves to be ripped apart, but especially:

Transformers

Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen

Transformers: Dark of the Moon

Armageddon

 

George Lucas's abortions Star Wars: Episodes I-III.

 

While Click isn't the only Adam Sandler movie that should be on this list, I think it deserves special attention because it stops even approaching comedy after about twenty minutes and becomes an unwatchable drama.

 

The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen is terrible. The graphic novels are so great that a lobotomized chimp could have pulled a worthwhile script out of the source material.

 

A couple of upcoming shitfests:

Step Up: Revolution

Madea's Witness Protection

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I too watched Godzilla last night (or tried to). Man, that movie was REALLY LONG!! A few questions:

1) How did Roger Ebert get elected mayor of NYC?

2)Why so many location changes and corresponding cliche'd "top secret" typed-across-the-screen locale names?

3)Why so fuckin long? The movie seemed like....forever and a day. Out of all the shit that we have watched with this podcast, this was my nightmare!

 

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