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Hold on to your butts because here's my theory, this whole movie is a lie and it is all an elaborate ruse orchestrated by his family to trick him into an arranged marriage! Let's look at the facts. First, his grandfather shows up immediately after the parents go missing. How'd he know if he'd been out of contact with the family? Then he takes Pistachio under his tutelage and gives him the family book. Their family is an ancient Italian family and their guide book is written all in English. Now his family has some American ties true but at the time this book was supposedly written America wasn't a thing and they would have written it in Italian. Also the book is oddly specific to everything his grandfather said and exactly what's going on. You can say it's just a coincidence or everything is following a script concocted by his father and grandfather. Why was Jennifer hired as his assistant? They interviewed many more qualified people who literally not given a chance. Then she magically happens to show up that moment and gets the job despite not knowing anything about it. If though they both object to her they hire her. They even start laying the seeds in about not falling in love with a big old wink. Why would they do all this? Simple, they need an heir! Pistachio is the last in the long line of this great family and is clearly a little soft in the head. His parents are aware of this, and realize that this man child is never going to attract a stable girlfriend so the family line will die with him. James Brolin contacts his father and they work out this plan. They find a willing woman, Jennifer, and either manipulate her or pay her a large sum to marry their son. However, they realize that with his obsession with large posteriors he'd never willingly go after Jennifer. It's at this point they start working on a way to get him to fall for her. This is where letting him in on the family secret with the book that basically forces him to fall in love with her comes into play. Think about it. Why else was the mystery so simple to solve? They had it all worked out that even he could solve it and he couldn't even do that! She has to tell Pistachio what to do at all times. When all is done their son is a little bit more mature and now they can have a future heir. If that fails she already has a son to past done the Disguisy name down on to. Also why would a young boy befriend a man with a dog in a day and age in which stranger danger is taught all the time? He was in on it too. I bet he wasn't even that clumsy.

So as June noted the Master of Disguise ... Clan? Business? Organization? Whatever they call themselves, is apparently made up of only men with no women in the Disguisey family using the Master of Disguise powers. So is it just because Mama married into the family ( I assume) and the powers of Disguise are genetic and Pistachio is an only child ? Or are the women in the family regardless of marrying into or being born in the family not allowed/cannot inherit the powers. If it's the latter case what happens if a generation is just girls? Are there no masters? Do they have to marry and their husbands become the masters? Do they just hope that they can crank out a male heir? Is this a Henry VIII situation waiting to happen?

I feel like this describes the movie PERFECTLY "1000 faces and not a single clue" is exactly how I would describe this movie.

So are these alphabetical or are you just trying to brag that you've read Alpha Flight?

Heavily redacted to keep the Kool-Aid Man happy.

Another loose Star Wars connection: In the penultimate episode of the 2nd season of Felicity (a.k.a. the best show of all time), written by J.J. Abrams and Matt Reeves, Felicity and Ben watch The Gold Rush. Ben had previously stood Felicity up, so he makes amends by finding the movie (and, one assumes, a projector). They set it up on their rooftop and watch the film (at least until after the dinner roll scene) and make out and it's all so beautiful you just want to die.

This fits with my theory of their being fake Italians. I now believe they have been faking it since his birth.

I think you already know the answer to that, eh...

It's time for... How Did This Get Named? Frankly today's movie is not all that funny or interesting but different enough to still comment on. 変身パワーズ　(Henshin pawaazu) or Transformation Powers! What is interesting to note is that while at first I thought this title was self explanatory (he has powers that allow him to transform) upon reading some Amazon reviews there appears to be a slight double meaning which I don't know if it was intentional or not. A lot of reviews seemed to be this the title was a play on Austin Powers. Obviously there is a slight Mike Meyers connection to all this but I'm not sure if that is intentional or not. The poster has a colour scheme not unlike the first Austin Powers, so maybe. Anyway you'll be happy to know that this movie is rocking a two star rating on Amazon and nobody has given it more than three stars. Choice comments from the reviews are "These are American styled jokes and that must be be why I'm not laughing", "I think this is a kids movie", "The most interesting thing is the special feature on the Turtle Club" and my favourite "Another in the dark history of nice guy Adam Sandler's Happy Madison's attempts to give his loser friends their own movie."

I can forgive some of it. It was the late show, people had been drinking, and the theater was sweltering. But yeah, editing is an art. I did genuinely love that Tall and Jason only referred to Brent Spiner as Data throughout the entire thing. I'm sure June had no idea what they were talking about.

I'm going to shock you guys but... I don't think the Disguisey are really Italian! They CLAIM to be from Italy. HOWEVER their name ends in a Y! This is important because most Italian surnames end in a vowel, like Medici, Ferrero, or Brambilla. According to Wikipedia " A large number of Italian surnames end in i, due to the medieval Italian habit of identifying families by the name of the ancestors in the plural (which have an -i suffix in Italian). For instance, Filippo from the Ormanno family (gli Ormanni) would be called "signor Filippo degli Ormanni" ("Mr. Filippo of the Ormannos"). In time, the middle possessive portion ("of the") was dropped, but surnames became permanently pluralized and never referred to in the singular, even for a single person. Filippo Ormanno would therefore be known as Filippo Ormanni.[9] Some families, however, opted to retain the possessive portion of their surnames, for instance Lorenzo de' Medici literally means "Lorenzo of the Medici" (de' is a contraction of dei, also meaning "of the"; c.f. The Medicis). Some common suffixes indicate endearment (which may also become pluralized and receive an -i ending), for example: -ello/illo/etto/ino (diminutive "little"), e.g., Bernardello, Vettorello, Iannuccillo, Bortoletto, Bernardino, Ravellino, Verdino -one/ne (augmentative "big"), e.g., Mangione, Bellone, Capone, Pastene, Mantone, Vallone -accio/azzo/asso (pejorative[10]), e.g., Boccaccio, Terrazzo, Varasso" Also you could have an ending based on your region. The few areas where names often end in consonants are Sardinia ( apparently Sardinian is a unrelated Romance language that doesn't follow the same rules. ) , the North East (specifically Veneto and Friuli were brought up a lot on message boards . Apparently the latter is near Croatia and Slovenia and during the fascist regime names were "italiniated" with an ending i.), Names of Jewish descent ( often they were emigrants often). But those names tend to end in S, N, and ICH. S for Sardinia Like Piars, Marras, N for Veneto with Furlan, Brusadin, and for Friuli more Slavic names like Cosulich or Marinich. You get German sounding names in cities near the Austrian alps as well. However notice that not a single one of these kinds of names ends in a Y ! You want to know why?! BECAUSE ITALIAN LACKS THE LETTER Y!!!!!!! Italian has 21 letters in their alphabet and lacks J, K, W, X and Y motherfuckers! They are apparently present in loanwords , or words from other languages, and have their own pronunciation but aren't I'm the official alphabet. I'm telling you the Disguisey family are frauds! Why else would they live like extreme Italian stereotypes? To put people off the scent! It's just yet another layer of deceit! Could it have been the mistake of a careless person at Ellis island? Probably not. The myth of workers at Ellis island changing people's names is one that has been disprove n a bunch of times. Names were actually taken from ships manifests. They were most likely written in the person's country of origin and by someone who spoke the passengers language. Also interpreters were used if need be. The manifests were used to confirm the identity and then checked off. The only name change could happen if a person CHOSE IT. Also they had to do so BEFORE getting to Ellis island because it would be the name they put on the manifest! If course once in the country you could also easily drop your old identity if you wished. Therefore I believe that the "Disguisey" family went to Italy on purpose to flee and add a new layer of disguise to the family. What were they fleeing? A job gone wrong? An old enemy who was about to unmask them? Were they being kicked out of town for their flatulence? I demand answers!

Do we think this is a better get than the Bratz movie she lost out on?

Yes, I was at a Boston show for an episode that hasn't dropped yet. If other audiences are anything like the audience from that night, then some angel is editing these podcasts to an extent that I hadn't appreciated until now. Is it just me or are audiences more obnoxious these days? It didn't seem so long ago when people would behave respectfully at a show.