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Episode 58 — In The Name of The King

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Speaking of which, I think I remember seeing something about "Bloodrayne", which was filmed in Eastern Whereverthefuck, where they mentioned that instead of hiring extras to play whores, they just hired whores, because the whores were cheaper. Whores...

 

Yeah Michael Madsen has said that movie was a horrible experience but that he would work with Boll again.

 

from http://www.starpulse.com/news/index.php/2008/08/30/michael_madsen_still_scarred_by_bloodray :

 

"He put me on some crazy Romanian horses. I've done a little riding and I knew the second I got on that animal that it did not know what it was supposed to do. They (horses) all ran off in different directions and went berserk every time they'd clap the clapperboard to start a scene. My horse ran right into a tree and threw me in a water tank."

 

And that was just the first day.

 

Madsen continues, "I had a catheter in my arm because I was sick from eating the food over there. I lost 12 pounds. I was attacked by gnats in the middle of the Romanian jungle and I had to dive into the water while being attacked by bees. It was a very strange experience - on the way to the set I'd come across potato carts and dead horses. I don't even know what his movies are about and why he keeps the same theme of people in the jungle and the vampires who ride in from space (sic). What are you doing Uwe? BloodRayne was an abomination... It's a horrifying and preposterous movie."

 

But, saying all that, Madsen would consider making another movie with the eccentric filmmaker: "Uwe was fun. If he called me tomorrow and wanted me to be in a movie I would do it."

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Anyone mention how good a guest Ducca was? It was one of his greatest appearance on HDTG...wait, it was his first?

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I'm so glad I didn't check out IMDB prior to watching it. I literally had no idea that Burt Reynolds was in this. That made his first appearance absolute gold.

 

But here are the things I thought about that weren't mentioned:

  • The odd opening make out scene was mentioned, but not the age difference. He was 52 and and she was 23 the year it was released.
  • Claire Forlani is British. If there was ever a time for her to drop her fake American accent this was it. Yet she doesn't.
  • This goes with the already mentioned horrible fight scenes. But specifically, I let it slide that the archers waited until they were right in front them to fire. I let it slide that they still angled the shots at 45 degrees as if they had to travel long distances. But if you need to look down to see your enemies at the bottom of the hill, go ahead and aim your arrows down. No? Up at 45 degrees again? OK.

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When I first listened, I thought she was just consistently mispronouncing it as "Lilly Sobliesky". Now, I'm convinced that she magically became drunk for two seconds at a time every time she said it.

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How did this cost sixty million to make? That's a third of the John Carter budget. This crap looks like it was shot in Eastern Europe for a dollar.

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So maybe the bright side to the new EU austerity measures is the German government won't have as much money to give Uwe Boll?

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I feel like you can't appreciate Uwe Boll if you don't watch his earliest movies. They started out comically terrible, but as time went on he "improved" so that they were just terrible. Dull terrible. Not enjoyable at all.

 

Yeah, as Boll progressed his movies become a bit less incompetent so that they're just boring rather than 'so bad its good'. His earlier stuff like House of the Dead, Bloodrayne & Alone in the Dark are (unintentionally) entertaining.

 

I read somewhere that Boll casts his movies at the last minute just before filming begins. This enables him to get named actors who would otherwise turn him down as they wouldn't commit to his terrible movies in 6 months time since they know they'll get better offers in the meantime. But if the actors are offered something at short notice they'll take the money if they're just sitting on their ass for the next couple of weeks.

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How did this cost sixty million to make? That's a third of the John Carter budget. This crap looks like it was shot in Eastern Europe for a dollar.

 

I'm guessing it was mostly Statham, Reynold's, Liotta and Pearlman's quotes. That and Boll probably embezzled a shitload of it.

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Call me crazy, but I just watched Rampage and thought it was fucking despicable! I get it, he's trying to be satirical, I guess. But this shit is why we get over- privileged/ hyper-violenced/ clueless white boys going around killing people in schools, malls and movie theaters. They watch garbage like this where the protagonist never gets caught/ punished, and think that is the way it goes. Fuck you Uwe Boll!!! This movie glorifies the trouble with our stupid kids instead of trying to teach them what is wrong with society and the media....Sooo mad!

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So far, the movies I've watched to accompany this podcast have been somewhat watchable. I could not even finish this one. Fucking awful!!

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that's what happen to me when I watched it. it's painfully bad it should be used in prisons to punish inmates. thank god we have fast forward buttons...

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The second one didn't get done as a HDTGM and guess what, this one will never see the light of day ether. it's just not got got the star power that the first had.

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I know and I don't want it done. I just thought you guys might find it interesting that Uwe's craziness continues. I mean he's persistent, I'll give him that but...

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it's really strange because director Uwe Boll did all three of these movie's and they all feel really poorly made like the level of film school drop out level of bad. and yet he did this movie and it was shockingly good called "Assault on Wall Street" it's like the original director didn't want to take credit for his own work and let Uwe Boll use his name on the credits. it's just too bad he didn't get any really over top big name actors to star in his remakes of in the name of the king. it's strange that he would keep making these poorly made movies and not ever learn from them or care to make a good film. even if this maybe a tax right off like so many others have pointed out here..

 

at the then end of the day, you have to look yourself in the mirror and say am I proud of what i've done. me I would be embarrassed to call my self a director looking at the lists of crappy low budget crap he's made.

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I found this poster today, you'll notice it. I swear to god I did not fuck with this. IMDB

 

rrjhnn.jpg

 

 

Like that's a good selling point for this movie! You remember this peace of shit film, in the name of the king, well your going to love this. what are they thinking..

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I just listened to this one and I realized, when Paul asked if Peter Jackson was angry that John Rhys Davies did this movie after doing LOTR, that this could've been REVENGE for what Jackson put Rhys-Davies through in LOTR?!

 

I remember having to turn off the audio commentary on FotR because of the talk of how Rhys-Davies had some kind of allergic reaction to the dwarf makeup that peeled his skin off. And everyone else seemed to have a great time but he like couldn't go outside and felt like a monster. I think there was something about him needing days between filming because he had to grow back the skin on his face.

 

Yeah, I just looked it up and found a transcript.

 

ELIJAH WOOD: Poor JOHN. I think it was after every day of makeup that he had, he had to have at least four days off to recover in terms of his face and what that would do.

SEAN ASTIN: The prosthetics and the glue and the plastics and stuff was really eating into his skin and his face.

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