Episode 100.5 — Minisode 100.5

[JulyDiaz 2797]

Paul kicks off the new year the only way he can -- by giving you a minisode with all the deets on next week’s movie which brought Disco and roller-skates together. Paul then goes through some Corrections and Omissions for Junior, describes how Nic Cage would make Junior much better, and talks Blood Brothers during Scheer’s Picks. Plus, Paul answers how many months is too long to come up with a witty comeback as he gives your Qs some much needed As!

 

 

Check out Paul’s new Adult Swim infomercial special “Frank Pierre Presents: Pierre Resort & Casino” available now on

.

 

Pick up your copy of Deadpool Bi-Annual #1 written by Paul & Nick Giovannetti at www.amazon.com or wherever comic books are sold!

 

Don’t forget to grab yourself a brand new HDTGM: No Holds Barred T-shirt over at the Earwolf store and a copy of Paul’s comic book Aliens Vs. Parker now available at www.amazon.com!

Also, check out Jason Mantzoukas in “They Came Together” on VOD, June Diane Raphael & Casey Wilson in ASS BACKWARDS for free on Netflix & HULU!

[justinmh05 1968]

I hope Dan Harmon and Jeff Davis were the guests for Xanadu.

[klemjohansen 748]

Michael Beck was in Warriors. *clicks bottles together* come out and pla-ay!

[OrigamiMami 395]

Xanadu was on the movie channels recently. Oof!

I watched the last half hour with my 11 year old daughter, and she was blown away by how bizarre the whole final dance looked.

It was hard to explain to her that there was a drug that made people want to make movies "look" that way. Plus the characters had spent all this money to build a bar, and everybody is dancing. There may have been one drink in the whole scene, but the place was doomed to fail with no money flow.

 

Which made me sound like an old curmudgeon. (which I am) So yeah, the whole no smoke, lots of dancing, no drinking, bizarre clothing, and me sitting there crapping on it to my daughter, "they need to install a bunch of TVs with sports on them, get some drunks in the door, or this place isn't going to make it a month."

 

Xanadu is a dated, coke-era creation. It is magical, it is the Xanadu of Xanadus.

[Quasar Sniffer 4174]

On the subject of bizarre coke-fueled musicals, is it weird that I have seen both 'Phantom of the Paradise' AND 'The Apple,' but not 'Xanadu'? In any case, I look forward to witnessing the madness.

 

Also, I enjoyed the Daniel Radcliffe/'Horns' plug at the top of the episode. Fuck it, I really like that movie. It's great, weird, horror fun.

[PlanBFromOuterSpace 3138]

Xanadu was on the movie channels recently. Oof!

I watched the last half hour with my 11 year old daughter, and she was blown away by how bizarre the whole final dance looked.

It was hard to explain to her that there was a drug that made people want to make movies "look" that way. Plus the characters had spent all this money to build a bar, and everybody is dancing. There may have been one drink in the whole scene, but the place was doomed to fail with no money flow.

 

Which made me sound like an old curmudgeon. (which I am) So yeah, the whole no smoke, lots of dancing, no drinking, bizarre clothing, and me sitting there crapping on it to my daughter, "they need to install a bunch of TVs with sports on them, get some drunks in the door, or this place isn't going to make it a month."

 

Xanadu is a dated, coke-era creation. It is magical, it is the Xanadu of Xanadus.

This kind of reminds me of something I saw in a documentary called "Chasing Ghosts", which is about a bunch of guys that used to be hot shit arcade gamers in the early 80s. During the course of the film, they talk about how this was like the biggest craze on Earth, but then the arcades closed, and some people just couldn't move on. I was thinking that maybe these places had hung on a while, to maybe the late 90s, when the Internet became a big thing and home consoles started to catch up to the arcade quality, but that wasn't the case at all. In the closing montage, they showed these places booming in 1982, but then a lot of them were shut down by like 1984, so a lot of these dudes had just been wandering aimlessly in life since then.

[HotSaucerman 2051]

Haha, nice. I showed up in Corrections & Omissions unexpectedly.

[Cameron H. 23786]

Just thought I would post this here so we can all compare and contrast a coke-fueled vision of "Xanadu" versus an opium-fueled one. Oddly enough, I don't see too many similarities. For one, there are far fewer roller skates in Coleridge's version. Fucking poser...

 

"Kubla Khan"

BY Samuel Taylor Coleridge

In Xanadu did Kubla Khan

A stately pleasure-dome decree:

Where Alph, the sacred river, ran

Through caverns measureless to man

Down to a sunless sea.

So twice five miles of fertile ground

With walls and towers were girdled round;

And there were gardens bright with sinuous rills,

Where blossomed many an incense-bearing tree;

And here were forests ancient as the hills,

Enfolding sunny spots of greenery.

 

But oh! that deep romantic chasm which slanted

Down the green hill athwart a cedarn cover!

A savage place! as holy and enchanted

As e’er beneath a waning moon was haunted

By woman wailing for her demon-lover!

And from this chasm, with ceaseless turmoil seething,

As if this earth in fast thick pants were breathing,

A mighty fountain momently was forced:

Amid whose swift half-intermitted burst

Huge fragments vaulted like rebounding hail,

Or chaffy grain beneath the thresher’s flail:

And mid these dancing rocks at once and ever

It flung up momently the sacred river.

Five miles meandering with a mazy motion

Through wood and dale the sacred river ran,

Then reached the caverns measureless to man,

And sank in tumult to a lifeless ocean;

And ’mid this tumult Kubla heard from far

Ancestral voices prophesying war!

The shadow of the dome of pleasure

Floated midway on the waves;

Where was heard the mingled measure

From the fountain and the caves.

It was a miracle of rare device,

A sunny pleasure-dome with caves of ice!

 

A damsel with a dulcimer

In a vision once I saw:

It was an Abyssinian maid

And on her dulcimer she played,

Singing of Mount Abora.

Could I revive within me

Her symphony and song,

To such a deep delight ’twould win me,

That with music loud and long,

I would build that dome in air,

That sunny dome! those caves of ice!

And all who heard should see them there,

And all should cry, Beware! Beware!

His flashing eyes, his floating hair!

Weave a circle round him thrice,

And close your eyes with holy dread

For he on honey-dew hath fed,

And drunk the milk of Paradise.

 

 

 

[neilly 105]

so did I...and was taken out of context to boot!

[hypnotizingchickens 1025]

noooow we are heeeeereee...

 

finally.

[justinmh05 1968]

Lots of things suck about Xanadu - but it's incredibly fun to watch. As far as failures go, this is a glorious failure because they really go for it (like Staying Alive).

 

That said, the ELO songs on the soundtrack are amazing and anyone who disagrees is a fucking asshole.

[teedle 60]

can't promise the butt hole thing

[Cameron H. 23786]

can't promise the butt hole thing

 

No worries! Paul didn't say you couldn't have someone else do it for you. Happy New Year, you get to keep your butt play!

[Jon H 3]

In this episode someone asked if they could finally do a JCVD movie. Finally? Apparently someone forgot that JCVD plays Guile in Street Fighter and that HDTGM did an episode about Street Fighter. Shame on you somebody for asking and shame on you Paul for not correcting them.

[Kickpuncher 5012]

Lots of things suck about Xanadu - but it's incredibly fun to watch. As far as failures go, this is a glorious failure because they really go for it (like Staying Alive).

 

That said, the ELO songs on the soundtrack are amazing and anyone who disagrees is a fucking asshole.

 

Yeah, I've been looking forward to it since it was announced for that live show. I don't think I've ever paid to watch a movie for HDTGM, so this might be my first.

[Marmaducca 12]

whenever i think of xanadu i think of this music video of Lifelike "So Electric"

 

[Cameron H. 23786]

In this episode someone asked if they could finally do a JCVD movie. Finally? Apparently someone forgot that JCVD plays Guile in Street Fighter and that HDTGM did an episode about Street Fighter. Shame on you somebody for asking and shame on you Paul for not correcting them.

 

Not to mention Double Team! However, in his defense, Scheer did sound like he may have been on his second glass of absinthe for the evening so I think we can cut him some slack.

[ParrotTalkBack 110]

Haha, nice. I showed up in Corrections & Omissions unexpectedly.

 

Me too!!

[VinsanityV22 500]

Paul! Paul...

 

the term is, "Spiritual Successor". i know you were struggling to find that term when defending your use of the term, 'sequel' during this minisode; there ya go!

 

It's a relationship more akin to, say, how the 3 films in Edgar Wright's Cornetto Trilogy are connected. Not direct sequels. I get that man... but you need to communicate it better

[PlanBFromOuterSpace 3138]

Paul! Paul...

 

the term is, "Spiritual Successor". i know you were struggling to find that term when defending your use of the term, 'sequel' during this minisode; there ya go!

 

It's a relationship more akin to, say, how the 3 films in Edgar Wright's Cornetto Trilogy are connected. Not direct sequels. I get that man... but you need to communicate it better :D/>

Speaking of this, when most of the mini-eps show up, it says something like "the prequel to next week's episode", which is often completely wrong if the episode in question hasn't been recorded yet. In this week's case, it's correct, as the live episode was recorded some time ago, but if you're doing one thing to hype up the next thing, and there's no indication at all that the next thing has already happened, I'd say it's more of a "prelude".

[BertramCooper 122]

Watched Xanadu yesterday. It's horrendous, as expected.

 

Can't say I didn't enjoy the hell out of some of the music. I'm a sucker for that ELO cheese. I've listened to "I'm Alive" about a dozen times in the past 24 hours. The 40s/80s mashup song was pretty cool, too, though far too long. Wasn't nearly as fond of those drippy ONJ ballads, though.

 

I guess it's a testament to the movie's music that it was able to be turned into a pretty successful (and by most accounts, a genuinely good) stage musical. Haven't seen it, but I'd be interested if a tour ever came through my neck of the woods.

 

Everything beyond the music is pretty much horrible. Incoherent story, godawful acting (an unbelievably wooden performance by Michael Beck in particular) and laughably bad special effects, even for the time. But what's most striking is how ineptly it's shot. It's just lazy and cheap - obviously shot on crappy sets in sound stages with absolutely no interesting cinematography.

 

And god, going to Xanadu looks exhausting and not at all fun. Apparently one has to be part of a heavily rehearsed group dance and/or skating routine in order to get in. And the waitresses don't serve drinks! They just dance around with empty trays.

 

Poor Gene Kelly. He really gave it the ol' college try.

[PlanBFromOuterSpace 3138]

I can't believe I didn't post this last week when they were discussing Arnold's burgeoning femininity, but it's a nice change of pace after the "big word" megamix this week...

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SJiyO4Ng7v0

[SensiiMiller 29]

XanaDON'T! I will never watch that crapfest.

[DiesOnAToilet 23]

So who were the guest(s) at the Xanadu taping at Largo on 12/5?

[denimgremlin 1179]

why has nobody pointed out that Paul exclaimed about a brand new Corrections and Omissions theme then played that same old "buhbuhbuhbuhbu" theme?