EPISODE 115.5 — Minisode 115.5

[Emptyeye 11]

Okay, a few things here:

 

1. The eagerness for the gang to do MK: Annihilation just baffles me. I mean, love the podcast, I'm sure it'd make for a great episode, but not due to the movie itself--I recall seeing about 5 minutes of it on TV and turning it off, going "NOPE I'M DONE HERE." Like, it didn't strike me as so-bad-it's-good, just....So Bad, and not in an enjoyable way. Maybe I just watched the wrong 5 minutes or something. NOTE: I did enjoy the first MK movie, though I have no idea how I'd feel if I were to see it again today.

 

2. I'll throw this out there in the hopes that someone can help me. Also on TV years and years ago, I saw a snippet of something Chuck Norris was in, and I've always been curious what it was. What I remember from it (All of which may be completely wrong, mind you): Chuck Norris was riding a motorcycle. Some Evil Badguy type had attached a time bomb to the side of a school bus. Chuck Norris on a motorcycle rode up to the (Also moving) school bus, detached the bomb, caught up to the Badguys, attached the bomb to their car, and rode away as the bomb exploded. I want to say the next scene was in a bar, where one of Norris's companions/partners/whatever congratulated him on taking out the Badguy (Whose name might have been Pico?), to which Chuck Norris was all "Yeah whatever".

 

So what was that? Chuck Norris Movie That Wasn't Sidekicks? Episode of Walker: Texas Ranger? Or some crazy fever dream I had and this piece of Norrisabilia doesn't actually exist?

 

Help me, denizens of these forums!

[FisterRoboto 7499]

What I remember from it (All of which may be completely wrong, mind you): Chuck Norris was riding a motorcycle. Some Evil Badguy type had attached a time bomb to the side of a school bus. Chuck Norris on a motorcycle rode up to the (Also moving) school bus, detached the bomb, caught up to the Badguys, attached the bomb to their car, and rode away as the bomb exploded.

 

I googled "chuck norris movie motorcycle bomb school bus" and found Invasion USA. This scene has everything you described, except he's in a truck instead of on a motorcycle:

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=whUo8sI5OuY

 

The sound cuts off, but I'm pretty sure he either says "You lose this?" or "You lost this" right before he puts it on the car.

[Emptyeye 11]

Despite my incorrect memory of the motorcycle, I'm 100% sure that's it (I did also recall the kids on the bus singing). Searching for "Chuck Norris Pico" came up empty, maybe because the guy's name wasn't Pico, I dunno.

 

Thanks! Clearly my Google skills need work.

[Cam Bert 8145]

 

I googled "chuck norris movie motorcycle bomb school bus" and found Invasion USA. This scene has everything you described, except he's in a truck instead of on a motorcycle:

I wonder if the "Row, Row, Row you Boat" was an homage to Dirty Harry and the school bus in that...

 

Anyway, Invasion USA would a fantastic movie for the podcast. Hell, any Canon Films movie from the 80 would be perfect for this podcast.

[Smigg 1488]

Okay, a few things here:

 

1. The eagerness for the gang to do MK: Annihilation just baffles me. I mean, love the podcast, I'm sure it'd make for a great episode, but not due to the movie itself--I recall seeing about 5 minutes of it on TV and turning it off, going "NOPE I'M DONE HERE." Like, it didn't strike me as so-bad-it's-good, just....So Bad, and not in an enjoyable way. Maybe I just watched the wrong 5 minutes or something. NOTE: I did enjoy the first MK movie, though I have no idea how I'd feel if I were to see it again today

 

Because, as a 23 year fan of the franchise, it's just incredible, the Scheer (see what I did there) amount of fuck up that is contained in this movie is a sight to behold. Not only is it a "bad" movie in the way that it's poorly made, it's just so far removed from the source material, where they basically shove their arm up it's ass, and work it's mouth like a puppet.

 

To put it into perspective, imagine being someone from Nottingham, and you watch Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves, and they do the scene where it's revealed that Robin Hood and Will Scarlett are brothers, instead of an "Oh shit!", it's "NO HE'S FUCKING NOT!!" Now imagine that, all the way through the movie.

 

That's why I want them to do it.

[Emptyeye 11]

 

Because, as a 23 year fan of the franchise, it's just incredible, the Scheer (see what I did there) amount of fuck up that is contained in this movie is a sight to behold. Not only is it a "bad" movie in the way that it's poorly made, it's just so far removed from the source material, where they basically shove their arm up it's ass, and work it's mouth like a puppet.

 

Dohoho icwutudidthar!

 

More seriously, okay, I think I see where you're coming from regarding MK: Annihiliation. The volume of stuff it gets completely wrong in regards to the source material (Kind of like Street Fighter: The Movie actually--I'll spare you the geeking out regarding that though.) is noteworthy, in addition to the badness of the movie on its own merits.

 

I wonder if I still remember enough of the early MK lore to, uh, appreciate the movie on that level (I feel like that's what I'd need to get me through it at this point). More importantly, I wonder if the HDTGM crew (Or whatever guest they'd get) could do so.

[Smigg 1488]

 

Dohoho icwutudidthar!

 

More seriously, okay, I think I see where you're coming from regarding MK: Annihiliation. The volume of stuff it gets completely wrong in regards to the source material (Kind of like Street Fighter: The Movie actually--I'll spare you the geeking out regarding that though.) is noteworthy, in addition to the badness of the movie on its own merits.

 

I wonder if I still remember enough of the early MK lore to, uh, appreciate the movie on that level (I feel like that's what I'd need to get me through it at this point). More importantly, I wonder if the HDTGM crew (Or whatever guest they'd get) could do so.

 

My wanting them doing it is entirely for my own selfish reasons, because the forum thread would just be littered with me pointing out the little nuances, the inside jokes, the "they fucked that up" comments etc.

[FisterRoboto 7499]

I just remembered that this was one of the live shows they did last month. So I'm guessing we'll get Theodore Rex soon, too, since that was the other movie, which should be pretty exciting/terrible/wonderful.

 

I also started looking at the calendar, and Furious 7 comes out on Blu-Ray on Sep 15. That means we'll hopefully see something like this:

 

Aug 7 - Top Dog

Aug 21 - Theodore Rex

Sep 4 - something else

Sep 18 - Furious 7?

 

I've been holding out hope that they have the episode recorded and are just waiting until it's more easily accessible to release it, since they weren't able to get their schedules to work during the theater window.

[Quasar Sniffer 4174]

yes yes, thank you.

 

JO-DOR-OW-SKY with the "w" pronounced as a "f". The guys a fuckin' genius Paul, say his goddamned named right son!

To be fair to.... humans who speak languages, I've seen all of Jodorowsky's movies, listened to his film commentaries, and seen 'Jodorowsky's Dune.' Not only does the way people pronounce his name change from film to film, but the man himself isn't consistent! If he can't agree on a pronunciation, then hell, anything close is acceptable.

[souprman 10477]

To be fair to.... humans who speak languages, I've seen all of Jodorowsky's movies, listened to his film commentaries, and seen 'Jodorowsky's Dune.' Not only does the way people pronounce his name change from film to film, but the man himself isn't consistent! If he can't agree on a pronunciation, then hell, anything close is acceptable.

Being fair is boring Quasar!

 

But okay yes, to your point, he has often spelled Alejandro "Alexandro" as well, and the variation he uses for Jodorowsky is mostly a silent "W". But we're talking about a guy who is Jewish/Polish/Ukrainian, raised in Chile, schooled in France, and started making films while living with anarchists in Mexico. He's actually more allowed than the general public to get his name wrong.

 

Hey, what does a Quasar Sniffer care about humans? I'm a souprman so I'm duty bound.

[jarrycanada 2483]

I'm sorry, I'm still hung up on White Dog...

 

I am going to watch white dog first, as I think it's the prequel to Top Dog. and I bet it's got an exciting twist. and this is what I think it is based on no fact what so ever, just my good guess. it turns out in white dog at the end of the movie, wasn't racist after all. he just had rabies and everyone was just over reacting to it.

 

Ohh and the music they used at the end of credits."who let the dog out"

 

Now that would be a great movie.

[PlanBFromOuterSpace 3138]

I'm going to go out on a limb and say that "Atomic Dog" gets played at least once in the film. You see, it's a movie with a dog in it. A DOG.

[PlanBFromOuterSpace 3138]

 

 

Because, as a 23 year fan of the franchise, it's just incredible, the Scheer (see what I did there) amount of fuck up that is contained in this movie is a sight to behold. Not only is it a "bad" movie in the way that it's poorly made, it's just so far removed from the source material, where they basically shove their arm up it's ass, and work it's mouth like a puppet.

 

To put it into perspective, imagine being someone from Nottingham, and you watch Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves, and they do the scene where it's revealed that Robin Hood and Will Scarlett are brothers, instead of an "Oh shit!", it's "NO HE'S FUCKING NOT!!" Now imagine that, all the way through the movie.

 

That's why I want them to do it.

My recommendation for "Annihilation" is based PURELY on it being a complete failure as a film or anything that might possibly be confused with any form of storytelling. I never got wrapped up in the mythos or anything, but I DO love/hate the part where all the villains are all essentially cutting wrestling promos on each other explaining why they're the baddest or whatever. NO ONE DOES THIS.

[Smigg 1488]

I think knowing the mythology behind it all is what makes it double down in the insanity for me, because they literally had a template for a decent Martial Arts movie, they said "Nah, fuck that shit!" and made a movie that would have been bad for Syfy standards.

 

What about the time a wolf shows up, morphs into a Native American guy (Nightwolf), who then just says "Pretty cool, huh?!" like Tommy Wiseau's taken a bong hit.

 

And that's without mentioning this gem:

 

[VajayjayLeno 336]

I have only watched like 3 minutes of Annihilation and it involved the heroes walking through a sewer or something and Raiden got real pissed off and blew up a wall like he was Tim the Enchanter, but it was supposed to be serious. So basically, what I'm saying is that I am 100% down to watch it.

[Smigg 1488]

The movie has TWO guys who were American Gladiators, and one of them is a centaur!

[FisterRoboto 7499]

Guys. This fucking movie. It's amazing.

 

It's basically a shittier Turner & Hooch, and every scene is hilariously bad. I don't know who saw Chuck Norris and thought he had amazing comedic chops, but they almost certainly don't have a career anymore.

 

Also, there's totally a chase scene with a Ford Taurus station wagon.

 

I was on the fence about watching this one, but I'm so glad I did.

 

Edit: Oh, and I forgot to mention that there are Nazi clowns.

[Elektra Boogaloo 3371]

 

I googled "chuck norris movie motorcycle bomb school bus" and found Invasion USA. This scene has everything you described, except he's in a truck instead of on a motorcycle:

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=whUo8sI5OuY

 

The sound cuts off, but I'm pretty sure he either says "You lose this?" or "You lost this" right before he puts it on the car.

Wow. They should definitely do this movie too. I was hoping the bomb would blow up the kids so I didn't have to hear them sing the same lines of Row, row, row your boat over and over (it's clearly the same audio being played repeatedly).

[OoofMaGOOF 348]

Holy cow...this movie is comedy gold so far. The boat scene?

 

"Wait, hold it! i'm a cop."

"I don't care."

BLAM

 

And when they threw the dog into the water...almost had to pause I was laughing so hard.

 

I am so, so excited to hear Zouks' thoughts on this movie.

[OoofMaGOOF 348]

Guys...guys. Just when I thought it couldn't get any more bonkers, Chuck Norris' mom is confounded that he doesn't know it's Hitler's birthday.

 

I...I can't process this.

[Lando 2019]

It's basically a shittier Turner & Hooch, and every scene is hilariously bad. I don't know who saw Chuck Norris and thought he had amazing comedic chops, but they almost certainly don't have a career anymore.

 

Literally his own brother.

[FisterRoboto 7499]

Guys...guys. Just when I thought it couldn't get any more bonkers, Chuck Norris' mom is confounded that he doesn't know it's Hitler's birthday.

 

I...I can't process this.

I'm so glad I'm not the only one that enjoyed this. I really thought something was wrong with me, because I had a blast with this movie.

 

I watched the dog/kid costume montage at the fair thing about ten times, and it was hilarious every time, especially when the dog drives off in the car at the end, and the kid just shakes his head like, "Oh that wacky dog!"

[DanNicholson 83]

OOOF!!! That was rough. The only actor that wanted to be there less than Chuck Norris was the Dog

 

I need to watch me some Turner and Hooch to get my fix of how the Buddy Cop-Dog sub-genre should be done.

[FisterRoboto 7499]

And when they threw the dog into the water...almost had to pause I was laughing so hard.

I'm normally very June-like when it comes to animal violence. I don't handle it well, particularly when it's dogs. That said, I lost my shit when they threw the dog overboard. It so cartoonish that it's hilarious. It looks so much like the scene in Anchorman where Jack Black punts Baxter off the bridge.

 

[Cameron H. 23786]