EPISODE 106 — Stephanie Allynne, Our Close Friend

[mikebonetti 3718]

Also, if you didn't get the Pro Version in the first 97 episodes, you aren't worthy of my respect.

True.

[seeley 836]

This is intense

[Game of Scones 5812]

Also, if you didn't get the Pro Version in the first 40 episodes, you aren't worthy of my respect.

 

aww, sweetie, you can't afford howl?

[souprman 10477]

normal people are gender free and therefore do not have prurient interests that distract them from god and family.

 

I was only able to give out three likes for the last 4 pages. shame on all of you. if i didn't know this was making SteveH very uncomfortable it would be a wash.

 

that was just a joke wherein i posit that your posts were trash only for the purpose of making a SteveH joke. because he's my favorite. I mean besides MikeBoneZonetti duh.

 

Silvrwoman also v good. (the v stands for...)

 

oh man guys, I almost got into a fight sorta? with a real gung ho bike guy. see in places with 4 real seasons, like minnerchigan where I lerv, when it starts to turn cold in the fall, the bees go freakkin crazy right? it's cuz they know their about to die so they're flying around all crazy trying to get in your car or in your shirt, or up in your winndows cause they jus wanna be warm and survive a little bit longer. what now?

 

oh yeah! bike guys are just like bees here in MPLS. that's what i'm saying. they know soon no matter how much they wanna be tough bike people doing their super righteous 'i bike fuckin everywhere' thing that the weather will eventually be just too fucked to bike. there are stretches here where for weeks sometimes a couple months where you will only see a few bikers a day. when it stays below 0 for most of a typical January you only see thee hardest of hard core mugs out grinding (tues on fox).

 

so this guy got alll up in my grill and even said he called the cops on me. i posed for a picture for him and even took out my licence and read him my address. i told him my name isn't a joke name and is spelled just like it sounds.

 

Me - do you want to take a picture of my drivers licence?

Him - get the fuck away from me. do not touch me or I will go off on you.

Me - now if we werent so close i might take that as a threat. do you have fantasies about violence? you do don't you? you look so angry. (i lightly nudge his shoulder and smile when he gives me a crazy death look)

Him - (speaking into his phone) yes I need a police officer down on West River Road under the Franklin Ave Bridge. there's a man trying to run me down in his car. [i'm standing next to him at this point]

Me - (toward his phone) sir i'm trying to give you my driver's licence information.

Him - (lowering his phone) why did you get out of the car?

Me - to talk like a civilized human being. you were really upset and i didn't even know what i'd done.

Him - (screaming) WHILE I DON'T WANT TO TALK TO YOU!

Me - (i smile) okay (i get back in my car) bye.

 

he then got in front of my car. it took some negotiating but he finally got out of the way.

 

This has been souprman vapes for the first time in three weeks reads 4 crazy pages of threads and then rambles on without filter or consideration of anyone's potential interest in his bullshit.

 

ps this thread was v entertaining. i will now go back and like almost every post of course excluding Blink and Andrew my sworn enemies.

pps norm is actually my secret favorite. after mikebonetti of course duh, silvr also v goofd -v stand fer.. yep..

ppps old people r okay.

[SteveH 11126]

Things are even saucier now. Will check back later.

[Game of Scones 5812]

pps norm is actually my soupr favorite

 

this is very awkward for me

[AshleyChupp 3958]

Wow I go to one improv practice (ordinary world) and now there's a war being planned or some shit? (call to adventure)

 

Listen I know I'm the newest frequent poster here and so you all probably want me to lead the New Posters army, but that's just way too much pressure and responsibility for me! I'm inexperienced and soft and ignorant to the evils of man. (refusal of the call) Also I've been working pretty hard on ingratiating myself to the Old Posters out of respect and also wanting to boost my own social rankings. (refusal of the call part 2 electric han m'boogie)

 

But if someone gives me a good rousing speech (meeting with the mentor), I can probably be convinced to kick off Act One.

 

Anyway, speaking of improv practice earlier today when Andrew told me to suck his dick it was pretty upsetting and I started to wonder if maybe I had done something wrong by coming to this forum to bond with cool, funny people who love the same thing that I love and that maybe I actually wasn't funny at all and should quit posting and also talking in general.

 

But then I just had a real slam dunk practice. I was establishing realities left and right, cranking out touchdown punchlines and just doing really fantastic object/space work. (I'm def the breakout star, thinking about going solo) Which reminded me that I actually am super funny even if Andrew tells me to suck his dick. In fact if there is any flaw at all in my comedy it's that I don't shout ridiculous things onto the internet after exactly zero thought ENOUGH.

 

In conclusion, 50 Cent was doing an appearance promoting vodka directly across the improv theater tonight.

 

PS- Hi, Anastasia. Big fan.

 

PPS- I can't fucking believe I'm not a soupr fave.

 

Edit to add that Andrew is actually very nice and I'm not genuinely upset at him.

[JeffBurtMacklinMarra 6724]

I really feel like I should be a Soupr fave because we talked on the phone for 4 minutes and 5 seconds on October 12th.

[souprman 10477]

it's all just subterfuge to hide my rather populist crushes on DairyPillows and honlads.

[RanRan 3242]

Please vote for me for Forum Homecoming Princess, I am old but not TOO old and I don't do improv and I'm pretty sure Anastasia Vigo likes me

 

RanRan 4 FHP

 

 

PS There's good news: I have a podcast! But there's bad news: it's not very funny. But there's more good news: it's not supposed to be funny so I am doing it exactly right!

[AshleyChupp 3958]

Please vote for me for Forum Homecoming Princess, I am old but not TOO old and I don't do improv and I'm pretty sure Anastasia Vigo likes me

 

I'll vote for you RanRan if I can be your date.

[thejjar 5031]

Please vote for me for Forum Homecoming Princess, I am old but not TOO old and I don't do improv and I'm pretty sure Anastasia Vigo likes me

 

RanRan 4 FHP

 

RanRan is definitely the Bernie Sanders of the forums #truthinforuming

[thejjar 5031]

 

I'll vote for you RanRan if I can be your date.

 

Take it easy, Trump

[AshleyChupp 3958]

Pulling a silvr and deleting my post. Thought I was being silly but I probably went too far.

 

Never mind I got the go ahead from thejjar to keep my old post so here it is again:

 

Starting now, every time thejjar insults me, I will reveal an embarrassing quote from his OKCupid profile.

 

Quote 1: "If you think you're ready for my dance moves good luck but you're probably not."

[greggy 15909]

that just makes me like him more tbh

[thejjar 5031]

Hmm well this game isn't fun

[Game of Scones 5812]

Take it easy, Trump

 

Starting now, every time thejjar insults me, I will reveal an embarrassing quote from his OKCupid profile.

 

Quote 1: "If you think you're ready for my dance moves good luck but you're probably not."

Hmm well this game isn't fun

 

Will they wont they? This is a classic Adolf, Eva situation over here.

[Silvrwoman 4998]

Jeffrey, will they or won't they get fee based subscription dating service website accounts?

 

Edit: Dammit Norm beat me to it. I should really refresh the page before I post

[thejjar 5031]

Pssh deleting the post.. do you really think my dance moves are embarrassing??? They're my proudest attribute other than the one Hayes like I got

[souprman 10477]

Please vote for me for Forum Homecoming Princess, I am old but not TOO old and I don't do improv and I'm pretty sure Anastasia Vigo likes me

 

RanRan 4 FHP

 

 

PS There's good news: I have a podcast! But there's bad news: it's not very funny. But there's more good news: it's not supposed to be funny so I am doing it exactly right!

listening now. good intro. good first tune. wow you're playing the whole tune. that's awesome. sounds like early pere ubu.

 

finally someone drops a music podcast that plays whole songs and the file plays back at 320k.

 

i'm pretty into this. this is obsessive music nerd territory i live in daily.

 

very good. it actually is funny too despite the disclaimer.

[Jack Johnson P.I. 3649]

the more and more I think about them, the less and less I like about belly buttons. the fuck ya doin bro? lint isn't currency and you make my torso look like a surprised face.

[souprman 10477]

this guy likes em tho

[Jack Johnson P.I. 3649]

this guy likes em tho

 

this image makes me physically ill

[Jakal 4475]

Can you kids keep it down, I'm trying to sleep here.

[Danny Boy Wizard 1342]

yeah i guess you could say i'm back and better than ever

ok i see you all do p great podcasts now and are up to some crazy hijinks tonight

well i've been known to do a hijink or two in my time

AND

just you wait until my first podcast ep drops

i won't tell y'all what the podcast is about quite yet

but let me just say it isn't NOT that under the dome one

that's all i'll say for now

i've already said too much

 

anyway this ep was v funny, v good