Episode 132 - Bloodsport: LIVE!

[FisterRoboto 7499]

Anyone else think it's funny that the word for surrender is "matte?" If I hadn't looked up the spelling, I would have assumed they were just calling for this:

 

[Cockney Mackem 514]

OK, I'm just going to post this and take the shit if it's already been discussed.

 

The end caption talking about the "real" achievements of Frank Dux included his world record of 56 consecutive knockouts in one tournament. Now, if the format of kumite fighting was pure knockout - 8 fighters in the quarter final, 4 in the semi finals, 2 in the final - 56 knockouts would be unbelievable. 56 rounds of knockout if you add it up would require 72 million billion contestants, or 12 million times the population of the Earth. No one could be keeping the tournament a secret because the whole planet would be in the tournament: old people, world leaders, babies, everyone. And then millions of nearby star systems would have to send their entire populations to compete in the tournament, so Dux was fighting martial arts aliens. Which is a film I would watch.

 

And of course there's Dux's claim that he was actually working for the CIA when he first competed in kumite, having fought in Vietnam. The CIA had sent him to infiltrate the criminal element in the tournament and he just happened to be the best fighter in the world. Match that to his date of birth and he was 19 years ago old, a decorated Vietnam veteran and a CIA operative, and the world champion of full contact martial arts. This guy is the biggest bullshitter of all time.

[hypnotizingchickens 1025]

[Cockney Mackem 514]

Something caught my attention at the end of the movie. It says the real Frank Dux claims to have 56 consecutive knockouts in the same tournament. This struck me as improbable, so I did a little math.

 

That would imply a tournament with at least 56 rounds, so let’s say it has exactly 56 rounds. If we assume it’s a single elimination tournament like the Kumite is, and we assume nobody gets a bye to the next round, that would mean a tournament with 72 quadrillion, 57 trillion, 594 billion, 37 million, 927 thousand, 936 participants. Which is over 10 million times the current population of earth.

 

Furthermore, if we say the average length of a fight is 1 minute (an extremely conservative estimate), the length of time spent fighting would be 137 billion, 4 million, 855 thousand, 294 years, which is over 30 times the age of the earth. Of course this time could be lessened by having multiple fighting rings and concurrent fights, but still, Frank’s claim is obviously bullshit. The real Frank Dux may be a badass, but unless everything I know about tournaments is completely wrong, he is also a fucking liar.

 

P.S. I’ll attach my work. If anyone finds a flaw in my math or logic, please let me know, but I think it’s all sound.

 

 

Ah shit, I knew someone would get there first.

[JoelSchlosberg 352]

yes, it IS laughably easy to download Joust online, and you can use an XBox 360/XBONE controller on your PC.

 

It actually used to be possible to play Joust, in a fully accurate emulation of the original arcade version, completely freely and officially in a web browser. Like several other classic arcade games — including Rampage, Robotron 2084, Satan's Hollow and the truly weird Bubbles — it was recreated via the Shockwave plugin for Shockwave.com at the turn of the millennium. For many years afterwards, the games were on the website of then-owner Midway Games, until the website went under and the games stopped working in newer versions of Shockwave.

 

If you are going to shell out for a version of Joust on outdated hardware, there's no need to get a flip phone; it's been included in many of Midway's home console collections. I recommend the PlayStation 2 version of Midway Arcade Treasures, Volume 1: both the console and the compilation are fairly cheap to get these days, the games are the full original arcade versions, and the PlayStation 2 controller's dual analog sticks are really good for the collection's versions of Robotron 2084 and Smash TV (which is basically The Running Man in game form!) whose arcade cabinets had two joysticks.

[Cameron H. 23786]

 

There's a slight split second where you actually see Chong-Li wave the referee off, so the fight wasn't over. With Dux vs. Hossein, the fight was called.

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZuGKYY9X4GI

 

Check at 0:56, Chong Li was only on his knee.

 

Yeah, I just rewatched the Dux/Hossein fight. I guess I got my details a little mixed up. It was unfair of me to so harshly judge this movie, and Dux in particular, without having my facts straight. He can keep his title.

 

But at least we got an answer for why referees are needed...

[Smigg 1488]

 

Yeah, I just rewatched the Dux/Hossein fight. I guess I got my details a little mixed up. It was unfair of me to so harshly judge this movie, and Dux in particular, without having my facts straight. He can keep his title.

 

But at least we got an answer for why referees are needed...

 

Oddly enough, the first two UFCs were like that, the referee was literally there to just start the fight, and hold the winner's hand up. But a match with Pat Smith literally smashing Scott Morris's face at UFC II with elbows made John McCarthy go to the owners and say "Look, you need to let me stop these fights, because somebody's gonna die out there".

 

So, it was the same principle, start the fight, when he's decided to stop kicking the shit out of the guy, then the match is over.

[Amy the Gorilla 732]

 

It actually used to be possible to play Joust, in a fully accurate emulation of the original arcade version, completely freely and officially in a web browser. Like several other classic arcade games — including Rampage, Robotron 2084, Satan's Hollow and the truly weird Bubbles — it was recreated via the Shockwave plugin for Shockwave.com at the turn of the millennium. For many years afterwards, the games were on the website of then-owner Midway Games, until the website went under and the games stopped working in newer versions of Shockwave.

 

If you are going to shell out for a version of Joust on obsolete hardware, there's no need to get a cell phone; it's been included in many of Midway's home console collections. I recommend the PlayStation 2 version of Midway Arcade Treasures, Volume 1: both the console and the compilation are fairly cheap to get these days, the games are the full original arcade versions, and the PlayStation 2 controller's dual analog sticks are really good for the collection's versions of Robotron 2084 and Smash TV (which is basically The Running Man in game form!) whose arcade caninets had two joysticks.

 

 

At one point in my life I used to have Joust on one of those "Plug & Play" pieces of garbage you buy at the mall for $5 that had a thousand other games on it too.

 

You can also buy a USB Classic Nintendo controller. and download the game online for free.

[CPiz 232]

This was a really great episode. Quick Correction: "Lady Bloodsport" was actually renamed "Lady Bloodfight" and released in November 2015. I believe it was released direct to video/download.

[jarrycanada 2483]

the flashback in this movie was ridiculously long ... i have it at over 11 and a half minutes ... and thru the whole thing JCVD is in some sort of trance ... so it got me thinking ... what if you walked into the room as he was in the trance

"hey JC?

JC?

Oh great ... you're remembering again"

 

so i made a video ... this is what i imagine it would be like if you were in the room with him

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NkncQnTbOmI

 

firsttimecallerlongtimelistenr you are a genus!

[jarrycanada 2483]

 

 

He is such a lady's man. No one's gotten a gif of him winking yet. he sorta winks in that picture but not the full on JCVD wink we've come to know and love.

 

there is that wonderful wink...

 

I love this GIF, two things he does in every movie. winks and splits.

and he's saying in that picture enjoy my buns..

[Cinco DeNio 5290]

Listening to that guy do the splits was easily my favourite part. I saw the video of it on Paul's Facebook and have been dying of anticipation for the episode. Live shows are my

 

Nicole was phenomenal. She's like Jason except more concerned, like when she asked that guy how his dick was. That made my morning.

 

 

I've never been happier at being told to go f myself as when Jason did it to the people listening at home.

[FisterRoboto 7499]

Here's a link to the Instagram post with a clip of the dude doing the splits.

 

And have a still if you don't want to click the link:

 

 

The only thing better than Jason's reaction here is when he told splits guy "You blew it, Cody. You were the star of the show."

[jimkiler 84]

I wish i could find the link but 10 years ago after watching this movie on TBS and the hosts who appeared between commercials showed the real Frank Dux who at the time looked like Ray Jackson not JCVD. The article stated according to Frank Dux the real Kumite was more like the movie Lion Heart with tournaments on islands in the bahamas and all over the world.

[firsttimecallerlongtimelistenr 3590]

so after ray gets his head stood on by chong li he goes to hospital

 

this 32 second GIF makes me glad i never had to go to hospital in a 1988 hong kong

 

1: worst bandages ever

 

2: what is the doctor listening to???

 

[Lando 2019]

I have no corrections and omissions, but I just wanted so say what a great episode! Jason was in top form cracking me up, and so glad that he told us south shore people and podcast listeners to go fuck ourselves. I have listened to every episode since the beginning and during the span of it I have gotten tired of and dropped many podcasts, but have never questioned dropping HDTGM and this Bloodsport episode is a prime example of why not (which is not to say that I do not also appreciate the other episodes too).

[dominonimob 7]

Are the live shows recorded and available for viewing? Also...

 

This was a really great episode. Quick Correction: "Lady Bloodsport" was actually renamed "Lady Bloodfight" and released in November 2015. I believe it was released direct to video/download.

 

I guess I know which terrible movie I will be watching the next time my wife is not around.

[jarrycanada 2483]

Seeing that we got Easter early, Happy Easter Everyone!

 

[StevenWilliams 6]

Great episode!

Why did both Ray and Dux always walk around with their jacket sleeves rolled up? Was this an american thing in the 80s? Also costume related, when jean claude goes to hong hong to visit his trainer his pants are pulled almost to his chest and is shirt is cut down below his pecs. I'd say that is very strange attire for an Army guy.

[Smigg 1488]

Great episode!

Why did both Ray and Dux always walk around with their jacket sleeves rolled up? Was this an american thing in the 80s? Also costume related, when claudw goes to hong hong to visit his trainer his pants are pulled almost to his chest and is shirt is cut down below his pecs. I'd say that is a very strange attire for an Army guy.

 

Are you not aware of Miami Vice?!

 

[DubipR 485]

After listening to this twice in a row here at work, I had to pause and make sure I heard Paul right when he read his reviews on Bloodsport by David Worth. I had to check if my hunch was right and yes it was the same David Worth I was thinking of.

 

Fans of MST3K should know the name David Worth as he was the director and DP of the 1983 schlocktacular classic Warrior of the Lost World starring Robert Ginty, Donald Pleasence and Fred Williamson. Thanks to the Rialto Report, podcast, did you also know that David Worth was a director and cinematographer in adult films? Yes, Mr. Worth was using the pseudonym Sven Conrad in the 70s and early 80s shooting such adult classics like Pink Champagne, Frat House and Doing It!

 

From adult films to Bloodsport, I guess Mr. Worth must've liked shooting nut shots.

[Sievers 233]

Fun episode! One of the few movies I didn't need to re-watch because it was a childhood movie we watched over and over. Can't really contribute much since this movie is flawless. The fact that the real Frank Dux made a fake trophy from his Kumite victory and tried to pass it off as real is equal parts hilarious and upsetting.

 

Did anyone else think a lot of Nicole Byer's inflections in her voice and reactions sounded like Chelsea Peretti?

[DanEngler 5249]

Did anyone else think a lot of Nicole Byer's inflections in her voice and reactions sounded like Chelsea Peretti?

Well, they're both from the South Shore city of Ipswich.

[markserletic 24]

Did anyone notice, during the bullying scene (00:09:00) there is a kid wearing a Bartles & Jaymes tshirt?

[nthurkettle 148]

So young Frank Dux is caught trying to steal a sword and then lying about it, and then Master Tanaka trains him to live a life of "martial science" - which, who knows what that means but it seems to mean honor and balance and all the usual stuff that serene old Asian men teach white people in movies. Then, in order to pay tribute to his dead teacher, Frank Dux enters - a no-rules murderfest built on secrecy, gambling, and vindictive cruelty. And then makes a movie bragging about how he did it. Frank Dux is really bad at this honor thing.