Episode 165 - Ninja Terminator: LIVE!

[IMAHUGEHDTGMFAN 1837]

I liked this movie fine except the last 2 fights that did not tied the infinite questions that the movie posed... (Half Kidding)

 

I think I could listen to all 5 of them discuss men's fashion and what kind of bathing suits the guys wear for 500 years. That was so damn good!

 

And Wigs

 

 

A couple of Corrections & Omissions...

 

*Knowing now that all the dIrectors movies are an editing mash up mess that is then dubbed so they "make sense" there is still something that I did not understand (shocking, I know) Jaguar goes to the pawn shop and the owner tells him that "the ring is fake and its a toy from a Cracker Jack box" so Jaguar givies it to him for free... Then why does he fight him... If the ring is valuable or not he still has it because he convinced Jaguar that it was fake, so there is no conflict because he ca just give it back to his brother, right??? (I am aware that this is probably because of editing and dubbing and the plot is nonsense)

 

*I called "Sweaty Steve Irwin" "Young Ozzy Osbourne"

 

*A guy steps on a dead ninja after they steal the golden idol (was that intentional or not? was it on the script???)

 

*Every Jaguar fights adds an opponent

 

*Garfield phone gets th VHS and an phone call that repeats the message

 

 

 

I liked this movie and that confuses me...

[GiveMeYourBaby 102]

Honestly I think the peak of men's fashion is a well-tailored suit. As seen here on Idris Elba for GQ.

 

(Upon further research Idris Elba looks good in anything)

 

Yup.

[Smigg 1488]

 

Yup.

 

Pffft, what an amateur, this is how you do it...

 

[taylor anne photo 11311]

 

Yup.

[GiveMeYourBaby 102]

 

*Knowing now that all the dIrectors movies are an editing mash up mess that is then dubbed so they "make sense" there is still something that I did not understand (shocking, I know) Jaguar goes to the pawn shop and the owner tells him that "the ring is fake and its a toy from a Cracker Jack box" so Jaguar givies it to him for free... Then why does he fight him... If the ring is valuable or not he still has it because he convinced Jaguar that it was fake, so there is no conflict because he ca just give it back to his brother, right??? (I am aware that this is probably because of editing and dubbing and the plot is nonsense)

 

 

I think he still wants to avenge his brother getting beat up by Jaguar.

[The_Triple_Lindy 2482]

 

 

*I called "Sweaty Steve Irwin" "Young Ozzy Osbourne"

 

 

 

 

WHERE'S MY WATERMELON?!?

[The_Triple_Lindy 2482]

Let's make a list of everything that this movie considers "ninja-ing" ... I'll start:

 

1. Cartwheels

2. Cutting watermelon

3. Fire twirling

4. Moustaches

5. Arctic camo at the beach

6. Slapping

7. Nose tweaking

8. Purple nurples

9. Toy robots

10. Sand in the face

11. Eyeliner

12. Chewing gum

13. Baseballs to the face

14. ....

[Smigg 1488]

Let's make a list of everything that this movie considers "ninja-ing" ... I'll start:

 

1. Cartwheels

2. Cutting watermelon

3. Fire twirling

4. Moustaches

5. Arctic camo at the beach

6. Slapping

7. Nose tweaking

8. Purple nurples

9. Toy robots

10. Sand in the face

11. Eyeliner

12. Chewing gum

13. Baseballs to the face

14. ....

 

The baseball to the face just reminded me of The Raid 2

 

[The_Triple_Lindy 2482]

Pat Morita is Albert Einstein as "The Disgruntled Pawn Shop Guy"

 

[The_Triple_Lindy 2482]

 

The baseball to the face just reminded me of The Raid 2

 

https://youtu.be/6LcQcHfal1o?t=1m47s

 

That's a pretty great scene ... haven't seen The Raid.

[GiveMeYourBaby 102]

I want to talk about how in the beginning of the movie during the ninja chase sequence, the film was sped up so that ninjas who were speed walking looked like they were going a little bit faster, but they still would have looked cooler/moved faster if they were just filmed running at a normal speed.

 

During the funeral exposition scene Tomashi's brother says "this whole thing, it's damn suspicious..they found pieces of metal in his back...someone must have wanted him dead"...uh yeah getting murdered by ninja throwing stars is pretty suspicious.

 

The movie has a two year time skip between the opening scene and the rest of the movie, so the Ninja Empire has a two year and 3 days return policy for magical artifacts?

 

Eye liner guy and Richard Harrison demonstrate their ninja prowess by cutting a watermelon and spinning a rope with some fire on the end of it in a circle. Neither one of those things is very impressive.

[Smigg 1488]

 

That's a pretty great scene ... haven't seen The Raid.

 

It's incredible, watch them both ASAP. You're in for a real treat.

 

If you want some other asian action movies, I can't recommend Ong Bak, The Protector, and 13 Assassins enough.

[The_Triple_Lindy 2482]

Anyone else getting a "Sexy Evil Ernest" vibe off of this guy:

 

 

[The_Triple_Lindy 2482]

I want to talk about how in the beginning of the movie during the ninja chase sequence, the film was sped up so that ninjas who were speed walking looked like they were going a little bit faster, but they still would have looked cooler/moved faster if they were just filmed running at a normal speed.

 

 

Totally agree. Honestly, I thought the action was pretty good ... Jaguar, Tiger, and the rest were clearly gifted athletes and solid fight performers. Some of the fights got pretty silly, and the foley work is an assault on the ears, but they were solid enough in real time that it made the over-cranked bits feel very strange and out of place. They obviously did it to make Richard Harrison's parts feel more "ninja" but even he knew how to stage-fight.

[GiveMeYourBaby 102]

The ninja statue appears to grant brief invulnerability to a specific part of your body depending on which section of the statue you possess, but you have to do some sort of prayer/qi focusing first. Doesn't that make the statue's powers kind of worthless except for preplanned exhibitions like the ninja master does at the very beginning? Tomashi dies because he tries to use the statue, but a single anonymous henchman ninja is fast enough to kill him before he can activate it.

[RikkiHo 84]

The ninja master/santa claus from the opening scene didn't really sell me as the leader of an "evil empire" that needed to be overthrown. He just laughed and smiled a lot.

[Elektra Boogaloo 3371]

I'm pretty pleased with myself for not watching this film. Hearing about it seems like enough. I worry about you guys walking around with this stuff in your brain.

 

Ninja Terminator has the stupidest story I've ever seen, and I've seen the entire Sweet Valley High series

I would watch Sweet Valley Ninja though.

[Smigg 1488]

I'm pretty pleased with myself for not watching this film. Hearing about it seems like enough. I worry about you guys walking around with this stuff in your brain.

 

 

I would watch Sweet Valley Ninja though.

 

Ahem... more like, 'Sweet Valley Sai'...

[tomspanks 9039]

Pat Morita is Albert Einstein as "The Disgruntled Pawn Shop Guy"

 

 

Nah, that's Bobby Lee

[CarmenOhio 4]

Wow, I haven't laughed this hard at a movie in a long time.

 

Watching it is like having a really excited 10 year old boy tell you about this great movie he just watched, and didn't quite understand.

 

The perfect example of a really bad movie.

[firsttimecallerlongtimelistenr 3590]

i had no clue this was made using 2 movies and to be honest i'm abit confused about it. How is it a mash up exactly? did the director shoot a load of material early in his career and then just reuse it in later films or did he just shoot his own movie and pad it out using clips from someone else's movie? or pad out someone else's movie with his own material ??... and which materiel is which??

 

maybe that's why it looked so 1970's. he took clips from a 70's movie and then had to match the costumes, hair etc for the material he shot in the mid 80's.

[walterwoodsiv 215]

It was surgically bad. Like, it reminded me of Black Dinamite: a parody of a specific type of movie.

 

Also, when this came on screen, I absolutely lost my mind. Seriously the most I've laughed at on of these movies in a while.

 

[tomspanks 9039]

i had no clue this was made using 2 movies and to be honest i'm abit confused about it. How is it a mash up exactly? did the director shoot a load of material early in his career and then just reuse it in later films or did he just shoot his own movie and pad it out using clips from someone else's movie? or pad out someone else's movie with his own material ??... and which materiel is which??

 

maybe that's why it looked so 1970's. he took clips from a 70's movie and then had to match the costumes, hair etc for the material he shot in the mid 80's.

 

The non-ninja scenes such as those involving Jaguar were from a different movie called The Uninvited Guest of the Star Ferry (different director). Godfrey Ho's scenes were those involving the ninjas. The Uninvited Guest of the Star Ferry is from 1984.

[firsttimecallerlongtimelistenr 3590]

 

The non-ninja scenes such as those involving Jaguar were from a different movie called The Uninvited Guest of the Star Ferry (different director). Godfrey Ho's scenes were those involving the ninjas. The Uninvited Guest of the Star Ferry is from 1984.

sorry, missed that post. so Ho saw some elses movie, came up with his own plot and spliced his material into the original and then dubbed over the original to suit his plot ... that's amazing ... but shouldn't there be 2 sets of credits then?

[firsttimecallerlongtimelistenr 3590]

the ending of the movie deserved some major discussion. for those who didn't watch the movie or couldn't sit through the whole thing, here it is .. and bare in mind this is after 90 mins of one of the most confusing movies i've ever seen

 

 

big fight scene. good ninja wins (at least i think he was the good guy) and gets ugly statue back so the bad ninja does the honorable thing and, with a little flick of the wrist, blows himself up. good ninja looks behind as if to say "Uh?" .. THE END ... THIS MOVIE IS NUTS!!!

 

EDIT: i decided to make notes watching this because paul had built it up so much. My first note was "Ninja Lanterns?" and my last note was "Did he just explode himself??"

 

and, much like jason and the phone, i searched for these on ebay but with no luck ... what secret ninja society has ninja themed lanterns???